'05 theme: Compassion ...

Each year I create a theme. It is an invitation to invite the Almighty to touch my life in His Unique Way. I choose Compassion for 2005. I wanted to see what I could learn and what I needed for my journey.

Amazing how God works earthly events into His Lesson Plans. The Tsunami, the Shivo case and death, Pope John Paul's death, London Bombings, Hurricane Katrina & Rita, the Pakastain Earthquake, Central America floodings, Hotel Terror in Jordon, Indiana's Colts Coach Tony Dungy loss of his son, and the continued battle for a new Iraq filled my heart with hands reaching out.

With such lost I began to realize that Compassion is the stuff of Life.
1) Compassion is a positive action.
2) Compassion is something I can control.
3) Compassion is a seed the Master Gardener planted in us.
4) Compassion is an aroma.
5) Compassion is a believer's signature.

''As God's chosen people, holy & Dearly Loved, clothe yourself w/ compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, & patience.''
col 3:12
With such huge loss of life a few individual deaths have come forward. Shivo case and Pope John Paul are so universal I will let them speak for the rest of the individual deaths. In the Shivo case we have learned that her coma most likely came from her eating disorder. We didn't know her then only when her parents wanted to keep her alive and her husband wanted her to die. Where is our respect for Life? She was alive. I have worked with severe needs kids. Are we to put all to death if they need help to eat? Pope John Paul had many health problems yet he fought to live out his life with dignity. I know our lives are hard and complicated. But when I see someone work out their journey with softness and fight, I smell a sweet aroma! My heart melts. So what about a little Compassion? What about a bit of Goodness and Mercy?

love a quote: '05 thoughts

my personal journey '05 ...

This was not a banner year. I lost two things that I thought was God-Given and God-Honoring. One was a dear friendship and one was an issue. I lost both about the same time and found that my voice was being threaten. If someone could see past the skin that holds me together, they would have seen hot flames.

I am 'Joyful one' and there was no way I was going to give up my Joy. So I turned to blogging. I needed someone to listen and I needed to organize my many wild thoughts. Through writing I could explore my thoughts and also honor the amazing journey I have.

My longing for my Eternal Home has ignited. My home here doesn't hold me like it use too. A lot of my wishes haven't come true and in fact have been taken from me. I have been more alone this year and yet have felt the Eternal Presence of the Almighty so acutely.

Really this year has been conflicted: I lost a close kinship but I won with my closeness to God. No one listens to me but I have found more of my voice. I lost my love of state but I have gained more longing for my Eternal Home. I lost my way but Lovely found me and who journeys with me. I lost ground but refound Strength.

Honestly, I cannot tell you in words my feelings for this year.... I guess I hope you see a girl who is joyful and thoughtful ... a girl who is still tenacious even though many storms have raged at her... I hope you see a glow of the Treasure this girl holds dear. I hope that you see a girl who is held by Perfect Peace ...

few firsts for me in 2005

1) I watched all three Lord of the Rings movies back in May and enjoyed it greatly. I am not a science fiction fan and I need to ask questions if I needed to so I wouldn't give up the movies. I happenchance {sure God sent him} upon a guy who loaned me his movies and answered my questions. He also encouraged me to read Tolkien.

2) I read the 'Hobbit' {by Tokien and should be read before Lord of the Rings}. Again I am not into science fiction but this was an easy read. I hope that Peter Jackson can make this movie so day very soon!

3) I am reading the Lord of the Rings all three / six books. I had too!! I found a kinship with Sam. I eat up every bit I can read on Sam. Guess it is because this movie and book came to me at the time I felt jaded by a Frodo.

4) I found a way to release my voice through the my best way of expression, writing. I began to blog in June!

5) I decided to try the chiropracter for my chronic headaches and tight shoulder and neck muscles. I would have never stepped foot inside one of those places, but when you want to make a change and no one esle will listen, you go where there is an alive energy. I have just begun so maybe I will have an update later.

few of my fav: few firsts for me in 2004

few firsts in 2004 ...

1) He rang me! and we would talk for up to 4 to 6 hours at a time. It was like finding a safe place in another. It was true kinship!

2) I sold some of my paintings! I never thought I would want to paint full time because it could become common place and boring. I never thought anyone would want to pay for my pieces. The church bizarre was a bust so I took my piece to work and sold quite a bit!

3) I knit loom! Sorry, I don't know the proper way to call it. When my grandmother was alive and able to teach me, I did not have the desire to knit or even crochet. Funny how age takes you back to creative history and now you want to be able to knit your own scarfs or blankets. I thought I could teach myself to knit, wrong! The directions are in a foreign language! Then comes to making sure each loop is even. Butterfingers!!!! All the rage this year was the four plastic looms and the crazy fun fur. With my gift card and coupon I embarked on teaching myself to knit loom. The instructions that came with it left the loops way to big. I went in search of instructions on the web and found a whole new world that wasn't so new! I am happy making scarfs and hope to make other things. {painting and writing are still my first choice of creativity ... knitting will just be yoga}

few of my fav: monthly thoughts 2005

monthly thoughts for 2005 ...

Jan: "Don't Waste Beauty"
Feb: "You become what you BELIEVE"
Mar: "Happy, Healthy, Flight" = legacy
Apr: "No passion = certain death"~ k
May: "What you focus on expands"
Jun: "Live in simple pleasure"
Jul: "Cream rises to the top" (to see beyond the surface)
Aug: "You cannot be cured of a passion; It feels to be too contagious!"
Sep: "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance!" _{~ celtic proverb}
Oct: "Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living" _{~ Jim Elliot}
Nov: "Joy completes me" _{~ k}
Dec: "Validation is the best gift to give." _{~ k}

few of my fav: monthly thoughts 2004

monthly thoughts from 2004 ...

Jan: ''Movement is Medicine''
Feb: ''Daydreaming = #1 best mental exercise''
Mar: ''Love BEARS all things.'' I Cor 13
Apr: ''Dwell in Possibility''
May: ''Live your Poem''
Jun: ''You are what you Love''
Jul: ''Live the Life you Imagined''
Aug: ''Master Passions = Faith, Hope, Love, & Joy"
Sep: ''Everyone has a signature''
Oct: ''Amazing what you can endure w/ a purpose''
Nov: ''Depression is living in the past. Anxiety is living in the future. Live in Balance - Live in the Moment.'' ~ keith urban's spiritual friend
Dec: ''beautiful lips owns a beautiful heart'' ~ k

few of my fav: movies of 2005

few of my fav movies of 2005...

Sideways
Fever Pitch
Hitch
Bewitched
Just Like Heaven
Dreamer
Walk the Line

few of my fav: books of 2005

self vs spirit ...

. : self : . ''He isn't choosing me! Shouldn't I just take care of myself and move on? Don't waste Beauty, right?''
... yes, but ... . : spirit : . ''He doesn't really know trust or validation from his core relaitionships. You know that from his insular tendencies. Shouldn't you continue your friendship with him? Show him trust and value? Didn't he himself say that he would know trust if someone would be able to survive and come back to enjoy him?''
... ok, but .... : self : . ''Doesn't he need to be part of the equaltion? How will he know trust and validation if he disappears? How will he know the victories of the good times and bad times with another? Must he do life all alone? If you aren't in the woods to hear the tree fall, how do you know it makes a sound?''
... yes, but... . : spirit : . ''Doesn't the Word say that if you are controlled by the Holy Spirit the fruit will result in patience, faithfulness, gentleness, humility, and self-control? The very things he needs right now. Don't you pride yourself in your tenacity?''
... oh, grr ... . : self : . ''Yes, I am very tenacious, but I am also very tired and weak. I hear conflicting messages. From the womanly side of things it is just bad energy to pine away for someone who doesn't have enough respect to keep you in their top 10%. From the spirit side I get that is about the Kingdom. It is not his journey alone. It is my journey as well. I have made investments. I have dwelt in the possibilities. I support his dreams and his purpose. What about the book? Don't I need to live out my dreams and my purpose? If I get sucked into his void, I stall out on my own life. I know that isn't right.''
... yes ... . : spirit : . ''True, you do need to honor your journey. Can you honor both journeys? Isn't there a balance in that? If you are asked to walk alone, can you find a soft place in your heart and let that glow always?''
... oh, you ... . : self : . ''It is very difficult to keep the balance because I can't feel him anymore ... it is like when a small child forgets what their dead mother used to look like..... All I have is my conversations with God. Shouldn't he get his life in balance every moment of every day instead of getting so out of alignment that he disappears for ages? I think it is wrong to shut out supportive people or maybe I am too hurtful for him to keep in his life.... I keep surrendering ... and I promise to always keep Perfect Peace about me. I do have such a Treasure in this clay pot. I will let it glow .... but ... If Heaven wasn't Heaven, I would really beat him up when I see him on the other side .....''
... now now ... . : spirit : . ''I know you would but you would probably melt even before you would reach him .... aren't your spirits are too connected .... don't you think when he sees you beyond the Golden Gate that all the scales over his eyes will fall and he will see you as you hoped and as God intended ... no more internal suffering?''
... don't know anymore ... . : self : . "My assurance came from feeling God's Presence when it came to my relationship with this man. I would act on that impulse. I gave from the Spirit. I supported from the Spirit. I am soooo conflicted I haven't a clue ... Wasn't God speaking? Wasn't there something Eternal in our connection?''
... hmmm, ... . : spirit : . "Whatever is good ... whatever is spiritually healthy ... whatever gives wings to dreams and your purpose .... Who is the Almighty Storehouse? Doesn't He overflow you what you need if you but ask? Test Him on this. Keep your assurance on the Rock. Then we shall see what the meeting will be like in Heaven!''

few of my fav books read in 2005

1) 'The Hobbit' & 'The Lord of the Rings Tril.' by Tolkien

2) 'Captivating' by John & Stasi Eldridge
{companion book to 'Wild at Heart'}

3) 'The Wedding' by Nicholas Sparks 1st entry & 2nd entry

4) 'The Barbarian Way' by Erwin Raphael McManus
{combining with 'Captivating' I have new fire for my dreams and life purpose}

few of my fav: tunes of 2005

impact of a life...

Tony Dungy statement to media (Courtesy of Colts media relations)

(Dec. 27, 2005) -- Indiana Colts head coach Tony Dungy briefly addressed the media following services in Lutz, Fla., honoring his son, James Dungy:

"I'll start out by saying, 'Thank You,' for the love, the prayers and the support that we've received from the people of Tampa, the people of Indianapolis and the people all over the country. They've been very, very great and gracious to us in a time of grief for our family.

"We loved our son very much. He loved us. And we miss him terribly. But we also understand that we have some tremendous promises from God. God promises to be with us. He's with us in the great times. He's with us in the tough times. Our family will stand strong. The strength that we have in the Lord will allow us to get through this just as we get through times of victory.

"Our grief is great, but from our family, we just say, 'Thank You.' We just say, 'Thank You,' to everyone. We appreciate everybody who has touched his life, everybody who has been part of him growing up. James -- he was a good young man with a compassionate heart and we were glad to have him for 18 years.

"We're also glad that he accepted Christ as his savior so that God has him now for the rest of eternity. Thank You."

* * * * * * * * * * * *(more words from Tony Dungy)
"Parents hug your kids every chance you get," he said. "Tell them you love them every chance you get because you don't know when it's going to be the last time."

"As he got a little older, like all teenagers, he was searching for who that person was inside of him. Who he was going to be. ... And like most of us, I think he went through a time as a teenager that he wasn't sure his parents always had the best advice. He wasn't sure that we always had his best interest at heart," the coach said.

"My daughter Tiara said it best the other day. She said: 'I just wish he could have made it until he was 20. Because when you're 17 or 18, sometimes the things you guys say to us don't always make sense. ... When I got to 20, they started making sense again."' (Tiara, the eldest of Dungy's five children, is 21)

He also cautioned parents against taking their children for granted. He recalled Thanksgiving, which was the last time he saw his son, as the teen rushed off to the airport.

"I said, 'I'll see you later.' I didn't get to hug him. I knew I'd see him again pretty soon, so it didn't really bother me very much," Dungy said.

"We talked on the phone a lot the last few days. We're always talking about what was going to happen. The last few days he was saying - as the guys on the team know he would - he was saying: 'Dad, we're going to the Super Bowl, and when we do, will I be on the field?"'

Dungy nearly broke down again, then finished his thought amid applause.

"And I said: 'Yeah, man. You know the hard part is getting there, but if we do, you know you're going to be on the field.' ... But I never got to hug him again. That's one thing I'll always think about and always remind people to do: Hug 'em every chance you get."

Never take your relationships for granted.

few of my favorite tunes of 2005

'Making Memories of Us' -Keith Urban { wishes }
'God Bless the Broken Road' & 'Skin' -Rascal Flatts
'Long Slow Kisses' -Jeff Bates
'Hot Tub Song' -Phil Vasser
'Lonely No More' -Rob Thomas
'She will be Loved' -Maroon 5
'Imcomplete' -BSB
'Your the Best I've Ever Had' -Gary Allen,
'Your Like Coming Home' -Lonestar,
'If She was any Other Woman' -Buddy Jewel
'Getting Use to the Pain' -Tracy Lawrence
'Come a Little Closer' -Dirks Bentley
'BIG DREAMS' -Ryan Schoop & the rubberband
'Must Be Doing Something Right' - Billy Curlington
'Boondocks' - Little Big Town
'Nobody but Me' - Blake Shelton
'the Dollar' -Jamie Johnson
'Jesus Take the Wheel' - Carrie Underwood { my surrender }
'What Hurts the Most' - Rascal Flatts { my life now }

few of my fav things: about him

my touch in training ...

Dearest Great Shepherd,
Sometimes my journey is hard and scary. Like back in 2003 I knew this hardship was for my good. I had found Joy as my Strength. My new found excitement for You has blossomed into more and more joy and love.

Sometimes my journey is confusing and irratating. Like now I have no clue how my struggle is shaping into something good. My beliefs are becoming like concrete. I know down deep in my soul that how I am feeling about the other person is very real and very significant. I know I hear Your Voice yet I struggle because I feel this truth in You but in the wrong according to the other person's experiences and journey......

Thank You for the words of Spurgeon to get me to see beyond the earthly surface into something more Kingdom....
~ always seeking

In the day of trial. Heb 3:8

When you wonder why you are being severly tested, remember the reason does not lie so much with you but with those to whom God will make you useful. You are being led along a rough road. You are being tested and instructed in order to help those whom you will find in some of earth's dark regions.

You are being trained as a hardy mountaineer to climb after the Lord's sheep who are lost in the wild, craggy places. You are being taught to find your way through through the country of depression and despair in order to help lost pilgrims find their way to the Celestrial City. They frequently fall into the marshy places of fear and doubt, and you will know how to bring them out, set their feet on the Rock, and once again establish their goings. {.wow.!!!} The effect of one life on another can hardly be fully known. { amen! } Even when we are able to look back on the completed life, we rarely know how much it has been twisted by other lives. Certainly, until this life is complete, we will never know how much our present suffering has to do to with our usefulness to others. We will never understand how being prepared here, there, and in a thousand other places has helped a fellow pilgrim. fr: "Besides Still Waters" by Spurgeon

Sounds like 'It's a Wonderful Life'!!!!

Spurgeon: my daily strength

... He comes

When you have prepared Him room and have invited Him, He comes.

Last night I came to Him with all my gratitudes, thankful for family, home, passions, and work. I also came with burdens, a broken heart, broken hopes, & broken expectations. I have prayer requests that I have prayed hard in sweat of belief where no word has come. So I laid it all there on Him.

Through it I recounted all the Words and hymns, He whispered to me through this year. As I tucked into bed, I wondered what Christmas morning would bring.

Rain was heard on the rooftop when my eyes opened. The sunrise showed up in my heart instead of the horizen. I felt peace and a resolve. I am choosing to keep it close. The Almighty soothed my restless heart and made a perfect peace wash over my mind, heart, and soul.

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."
John 12:24

"the path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shinging ever brighter till the full light of day." pro 4:18

Dear Mighty King,
I surrender from my gruby hands my sweaty kernels to you. I look for the first gleam of dawn, Your Kiss... Your Awakening. I smile full in Your Perfect Peace.
~ always your restless girl

prepare Him room

Christ's eyes... How they twinkle!
Christ's Spirit... How merry!
Christ's love... How enormous!
All our burdens... He'll carry!

prepare Him room ...

It is His birthday. Even though He is my Treasure already Indwelling, I am inviting Him to an intimate time together. Sure some very human elements like candles and Christmas Tree lights will decorate my home and some Wassail and blankets to make it feel comfy. I am going to Bedford Falls to revisit a milestone and theme of my life. With His Living Words that have touched me through out this year as well as some old hymns that came to life, I will begin my communion with the Almighty. Even with such Joy for my strength, my heart is sad. He alone can wipe my tears away. He alone chose me and I chose Him right back. I invite His Peace on this Holy Night.

pupinator kisses... 'bestest' gift for the blues

After reading Clare's Christmas miracle on eatstuff, I had to share my two fabulous pupinators! I had a terrible day this past week and my mother had invited me over for supper. As I was nearing their home, a brand new sad sad country tune played. It pained me as the words echoed my broken heart. I finally dragged myself into their house.

My pupinators, Bobby and Andy, go biserk everytime I arrive. We have developed a ritual of them getting cookies then me getting on the floor to receive their tackle hugs and kisses. That night they hung onto me most extra long. And though out the night they stuck like glue. They are the most precious boys in my life. God made them love unconditional. Thank Awesome Creator! You have made me soooo rich!

moment captured: the christmas swan

wonderfully rich ...

"You had the greatest gift of all conferred upon you - the gift of life, of being a part of this world & taking apart in it. Yet, you denied that gift."
'The Greatest Gift' written by Philip Van Doren Stern - first a card and then the inspiration of the movie, 'It's a Wonderful Life'. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[George has discovered his brother Harry's tombstone]
Clarence: [explaining] Your brother, Harry Bailey, broke through the ice and was drowned at the age of nine.
George Bailey: That's a lie! Harry Bailey went to war - he got the Congressional Medal of Honor, he saved the lives of every man on that transport.
Clarence: Every man on that transport died! Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Clarence: Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Clarence: You've been given a great gift, George: A chance to see what the world would be like without you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Clarence: You see George, you've really had a wonderful life. Don't you see what a mistake it would be to just throw it away?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Clarence: Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Harry Bailey: A toast to my big brother George: The richest man in town.
above quotes from "It's a Wonderful Life"

Indeed you are the richest man in town!!!

life abundant ... the greatest gift ...

December arrived on her first year at her college campus. The winter chill was in the air and like always felt a bit alone in her little world. The activity set for Friday night was the showing of 'It's a Wonderful Life'. She never saw the movie and decided she really wanted to see it.

Everyone else had plans either to go home or out or go to the movie with their boyfriend. With a brisk determined walk she slipped into one of the rows. She was very still as to not disturb anyone or bring notice to her. Finally the lights went out and the story of a lifetime unfolded. Tears pooled and trickled down her face. She pulled her coat closer around her. She was a George Bailey and there in the darkness God brought this story to show her she did indeed have a 'Wonderful Life'.

The lights came on and she hurried back to her room. Not wanting to share this most intimate moment with her roommate, she turned out the lights and went to bed. Under the covers she poured out her heart to her God and God cradled her to sleep. This was the beginning of her journey as a young woman. He knew her journey ahead would be a lonely one and could be very trying. This movie was to carry her through those tough times and bring her to some pretty amazing adventures.

Today on her wall hangs the sign 'It's a Wonderful Life'. She is always reminded and often her prayers and thanksgivings are filled with Joy as she takes stock of her rich life. This is her life theme.

This Christmas there is an ache in her heart. Four years ago she met a George Bailey. Over these years she discovered how rich this man was. Often when his innermost feelings came out, there was an air of keeping people at bay. Very strange when this man seemed so personable. Both enjoyed discussing movies so she asked him if he had ever seen her favorite movie of all times, 'It's a Wonderful Life.' He had never ever had!!!!

Over this past year again times seemed tough on him. With each passing month the more isolated he became from her. For Father's Day she sent a letter wrapped around her precious video copy of 'It's a Wonderful Life'. Not wanting him to reject for some Christmas feel good story, she explained how the movie touched her life.

She finally replaced her copy and tomorrow night with the glow of candles and the Christmas tree lights she is going to Bedford Falls. Joy will accompany her as an ache burns in her heart for another George ...

my daily strength...

"I will strengthen thee."
- Isaiah 41:10
* * * * * * * * * * * *

God has a Strong Reserve with which to discharge this engagement; for He is able to do all things. Believer, till thou canst drain dry the ocean of Omnipotence, till thou canst break into pieces the towering mountains of Almighty Strength, thou never needest to fear. Think not that the strength of man shall ever be able to overcome the Power of God.

Whilst the earth's huge pillars stand, thou hast enough reason to abide firm in thy Faith. The same God who directs the earth in its orbit, who feeds the burning furnace of the sun, and trims the lamps of heaven, has promised to supply thee with Daily strength. While He is able to uphold the universe, dream not that He will prove unable to fulfil His Own Promises.

Remember what He did in the days of old, in the former generations. Remember how He spake and it was done; how He commanded, and it stood fast. Shall He that created the world grow weary? He hangeth the world upon nothing; shall He who doth this be unable to support His children? Shall He be unfaithful to his word for want of power? Who is it that restrains the tempest? Doth not He ride upon the wings of the wind, and make the clouds His chariots, and hold the ocean in the hollow of His hand? How can He fail thee? When He has put such a faithful promise as this on record, wilt thou for a moment indulge the thought that He has outpromised Himself, and gone beyond His power to fulfil? Ah, no! Thou canst doubt no longer.

O Thou who art my God and my Strength, I can believe that this promise shall be fulfilled, for the boundless reservoir of Thy Grace can never be exhausted, and the overflowing Storehouse of Thy Strength can never be emptied by friends or rifled by enemies. ~Spurgeon

Spurgeon: tried faith

found in my fortune cookie...

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.

hurts the most ...

The soleful tick tock echoed in the chambers of her heart. It was saying the year is closing. Saying goodbye for one last time must be done. No Christmas miracle left under the tinsle tree. Tears haunting her face as a slow shimmer of anger has erupted into a freak show. This man was such a treasure and what she thought was a God-Given gift back then. Now his former self is unrecognizable to her. Shared dreams are like paper to fire. The radio static gives away to a brand new country tune ... confiming what her heart has been saying...

"... what hurts the most was being so close
having so much to say
watching you walk away
never knowing what could have been
not seeing that loving you
that was what I was trying to do..."
~ new tune from rascal flatts "what hurts the most"

the gift of self...

He disappeared from her life citing his insular tendencies when life demanded to much from him. Every single person was banished from his space ... well, except his responsibilities of fatherhood.

Funny thing how time brings out patterns and habits... patterns of disappearance ... habits of shutting down access to him. He said that is how he is. Even when he said someone was insular, she flat out asked him if he wasn't insular. His answer was yes.

Her heart breaks over and over. He was a treasured gift. He choose to take this gift back. He doesn't even allow her to fight for the relationship. He said he wanted someone to survive him. Now how can she? She is just too much for him. Or has he failed himself for not getting his life back where he has balance of each moment of each day so that he never has to go into total insular mode again? Why can't he see how withholding himself is taking away a precious gift?

proudly wearing my holy mud...

Our journey through life is a sacred place. Meaning I cannot put my fingers all over another's journey even when it pains me to see them hurting. This is their 'holy mud'. I only can take off my shoes and respectfully remain on the sidelines. Surrendering all my fight to the Almighty.

However, I am discovering another layer to this learning. I need to stop explaining/defending myself to others as if I have no respect for myself or for my journey. My identity is rooted in God. I do not need to apologize. I have worked hard only to realize Great Victory in the Joy of the Lord that comes when I have surrendered all to the Master.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "While Jesus can wonderfully make you healthy, He has no ambition to make you normal. The healtier you become, the freer you are to simply be yourself. The more your identity is rooted in God's value for you, the less you are controlled and limited by what others think of you." ~tBW

the Christ Child...

Have you ever sat in wonder holding a small baby? Have you ever watch him as he slept? Have you noticed the eyelashes brushing his cheek? Have you wrapped his little hand around your finger? Have you ever just took a deep breath to breathe in the freshness of baby? Have you ever just wished that you could feel as carefree as the baby?

This is peace ... We yearn for it ... It is a basic need of all humans ... To think that God was mindful of wrapping up Perfect Peace in a form of a tiny baby ... Something changes when we are in the presence of a baby ... and something changes when Christmas comes ... we become mindful of our yearnings of peace in our journeys and in our world.... come Christ Child ... come Perfect Peace ... indwell in me... like the softest of snowflakes fluttering down on an inky night...

Christmas...

. . . 'Christ's festival' (old english)

It is the time to feast on all that God hath provided us. It is the time to share from what we have. A time to ponder the wonder of a Mightly God who choose to give us His Son first in the form of a tiny baby...

a word study: noel

the gift i gave...

"What was your favorite gift that you have gave to someone?" God asked His beloved child.

"Last summer when I went to pick up my developed pictures, I was browsing among the card section and found simple book called 'God Thinks You're Wonderful' by Max Lucado with cute illustrations. I thought of my dear friend immediately. I thought what a wonderful way to support him and also a way for him to begin an unique Christmas tradition with his kids. It would encourage him and tell Your Love Story in a unique way to his kids. It was summer .... so I just let this idea simmer away. Early fall came and at my local craft shop I found these white ceramic Christmas ornaments. Perfect for me to paint. I picked up two stockings and one victorian cone ornaments. I began to think up my dear friend's and his children's favorite colors. The girl was easy. On her's I painted rose flowers and ribbon. On the boy's I painted patches ... one with his toe sticking out for his wonderful sence of humor. On my dear friend's I used his love of blue. Each of these ornaments bore their names as these where to symbolize each person. Inside the ornaments I wrote 'loved' this was another layer ... a simple yet layered way to tell each of them that they are vessels loved by You. I packed it up and mailed it to a far away land." She beamed as she told of her special gift. Yet there was a tear...

"Why is there a look of sadness in the depth of your eyes?" God's heart was sad for He already knew.

"Well, I thought he would get it. He always got it before. I had to even ask when the present was opened. I had to explain but it was already lost. I had grand expectations ... I was seeing this a sorce of confidence from You. It seems to have failed." She wept. His Ever-Lasting Arms surrounded her.

"Ahhh, my child. When you give the best of yourself, and they reject you it is pain beyond pain. I know. Remember what else you visioned when you prepared this gift?" His voice was gentle and healing.

"Yes, I do. I remember seeing that this little book would be a light ... a glimmer ... a hope ... possibly a jolt ... to let You Shine Your Glorious Light on his dark days .... to let him know that on the other side of the world was a little girl praying ... uplifting his arms in prayer...." She whispered.

"Yes, little one. Indeed when he is at his lowest ... when he has pushed everyone away ... when he is most isolated ... I whisper ... calling his name .... He will give up all to find My Peace ... You know I have My Name already written upon his heart. I know you wish Joy upon his days. That is My journey for him in time. All you have is your KingdomMail. That is all you can have of him. His loss anyway right? He isn't what you need at this time. I Am." God gently rocked her to sleep.

NOEL ...

. . . 'birthday of the Lord' (latin)

A reminder of the Greatest Gift of all time was given in a form of a baby. God gave His Only Begotten Son ... to dwell among men and if recieved to indwell in the hearts of men... our second chance at a second birth. The best gift to give God is our hearts...

other forms of this name: Noelle, Natalie...
a word study: emmanuel

a Christmas Swan...

For a week a young trumpter swan flaps around but she is stuck on a half frozen lake. All of the other swans have headed to warmer places. Here the winds have had a very frigid bite and snow whips around in white drifts. Too much ice keeps boats away and it is too thin for a human to walk out on to rescue her. So there she is white on white flapping every so often. Makes tears well up in your heart.

Humans asked for help and help came in the form of a 'hovercraft'! The swan has been rescued. Her leg seems to be fine but something seems to be wrong with her back. She is warm now and will be rehibilatated. She has been given a second chance on life. They call her Noelle ...

moment captured: snowstorm

not to occupy ...

I want to thank the Iraqies for coming together and voting. Americans like to dream big and we like to share that with you. We are not there to occupy but to give you the chance to choose a better way of life. I support my President and I support the good soldiers. The sooner you stand together the sooner we can come back to home. We want you to have your land and your freedom back. Take it back by choosing to live peaceably with your Iraqie neighbors.

aRise, Shine ...

A month and a half ago I was given a prayer request wrapped up in fragile faith by a dear friend in a land far away. It was for a family that was in a serious three car accident which had taken a life. Shaun, the father, had an eye injury, face injuries, and head injuries. Amy, the mother, was in the balance of earthly life and eternal life. Joshua, the son, came through without injury.

A darkness hovered over this family's journey. A son whose father is healing and a mother who is fighting for her life did not escape without a bit of emotional injury. A father who may have been driving feeling guilty that he only has injuries that will heal but he could not protect his wife. A mother fighting to live. A darkness thick and misty covers our eyes and we see not. Turbulant storms of why did this happen...

Arise and behold...
The dark room where she lays attached to life saving machines has a faint glow. It is not coming from the light over her bed. Lean closer ... see! This light is coming from her! Draw near ... what do you feel? It is a peace .... 'Arise, Shine Amy, for your Light has come and the Glory of the Lord rises upon you.' Dear Lord, you created Amy. She is a wife and a mother. You created the dreams and the purpose that are tucked inside her heart. I ask for life ... earthly life ... abundant life full and well ... more time to spend here with her husband and child. It is peaceful to know eternal life burns in her soul. May all those that draw near to her even now come away having experienced Your Presence here.

Arise and behold...
He comes and visits her room. His head is bandaged and he takes his wife's hand and looks at her with his one eye. You can see his shoulders tremble. Yet look closer ... A light is coming from him. He is praying and wrestling with his emotions with God. 'Arise, Shine Shaun, for your Light has come and the Glory of the Lord rises upon you.' Dear Lord, you created Shaun. I ask for healing of his eye, his face, and his head. I ask for healing of his heart. He will need lots of strength and You are the Storehouse and Strong Tower. May he reflect Your Light. May all those that come near him experience Your Power and Strength.

Arise and behold...
He is the son a bit timid to see his parents this way. This is his darkness too. Uncertain times lie ahead. His little world is shattered and broken. Look ... see... 'Arise, Shine Joshua, for your Light has come and the Glory of the Lord rises upon you.' Dear Lord, I do not know the ages here. I feel Joshua might be a child or maybe he is a teenager. If he is yours the younger they are the more they have a huge sence of belief. May he be the teacher in faith and belief. I ask for special endurance for him to carry on with his studies. You are a Father. You know how a young child trembles and wants to feel safe. Your Ever-Lasting Arms hold him close. What a perfect picture of peace!

Lord, praying for someone I don't even know has given me fellowship with believers that I will one day meet on that beautiful shore. I 'see' my prayers through Your Word. I might not ever know here on earth what has happened yet this has given me a depth in my prayers.

May the scales fall from the eyes of my dear friend... may he feel the Your Mighty Hand at work here... ... I see the Light and I want others to experience it here..... unseen mysteries are at work ... thank you
~always your little lamb

* * * * * * * * *
"Arise, Shine, for your Light has come & the Glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth & thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you & His Glory appears over you."
isa 60:1-2

what is Christmas?

Christmas is a remembrance & an observence of the Greatest Gift of all time. The Great I Am made a baby to give us all that He is. All we have to do is except this Great Gift. When we do so it is a miracle all over again.

Christmas is Life-Everlasting, Life-Filling, & Life-Changing.

Christmas is Emmanual with us ... indwelling ... a Light fully Glory in the fragile tattered human heart.

Christmas is what ... "we have ... this Treasure in jars of clay to show that this All-Surpassing Power is from God & not from us." II cor 4:7

Christmas is sharing what we have not wanting what we don't have.

Heavenly Father,
I have given them the Glory that You gave Me, that they may be one as We are One: I in them and You in Me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that You sent Me and have loved them even as You have loved Me.
~always You Beloved Son, Jesus john 17:22-23

/ II cor 4:7/ butterflies / john17:22-23 /

Emmanuel...

... God with us, revealed in us

The virgin will be with child & give birth to a son & they will call Him Immanuel which means 'God with us'.
matt 1:2-3

surrender...

All to Jesus, I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!

refrain:
I surrender all, I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessèd Savior,
I surrender all.

few of my favorite things about him...

1) the 3rd floor sanctuary...
....... The question was posed and we began to mesh together what our dream homes should have. I loved his answer so much this is my top favorite memory I visit often. He felt the home should have all the nice things to foster warm family times. However, he wanted a third floor that was excluded from the rest the home. This would be the perfect place to hide away the master bath and bedroom. A simple big dream that took me away .... brilliant!

2) " n...nip" ...
....... He couldn't sleep and decided to call. With such a time difference it was a gamble that I would be home. He seemed very playfully soft. No deep talks required. The topic happened to be herbs and I had asked if he knew what catnip was. He didn't and he was amazed at the euphoria drug effect it had on cats. Then he said simply I was his catnip...

3) letter writing...
....... Ronald Reagan had died and I was admiring the relationship between Mrs. Reagan and Mr. Reagan. I loved how he wrote letters to her in his handwriting all the years that he could. It was brilliant to me. He said he knew of a couple who met via letter writing. They finally met each other in person and their love continued. I have read stories of guys living here in frontier America writing and falling in love with their future wives. This amazes me. I know its truth... I sent him a million or so letters {wink} and I have two of his .... plus all of his emails ...

4) rice cooker...
....... I made mention about how much a pain it is to cook rice over the stove. He told of his rice cooker and all the meals he makes with his. I got myself a baby rice cooker and he talked me through my first rice cooker experience. With each use it is true the rice doesn't stick any more to the bottom...

5) Australian National Geographic...
....... The first surprise was australian wool socks which I so love in my frigid winters and my feet are thankful. The next little but huge surprise was the subscription of these magazines. I love to learn and I have eaten these mags up...

6) the Butterfly Effect...
....... He said you know that the Bible was written front to back by the same Bloke because He repeats His story all the way through the pages just like the butterfly wings. The same design on one wing is the same reflection found on the other wing. We would share our Butterfly discoveries together ...

7) his soul...
....... When I first met him I knew that he was a believer just by his over all voice. The next time I asked and he said yes he was. Our faiths matched and he inspired me ... and I found myself falling deeper in love with God... I hope I had done the same for him.
/ fr: 2004 /

Dearest King,
I surrender him to Your Ever-Lasting Arms. I am too weak. My endurance has wained. He was such a gift and a treasure. I thank You. Now he has taken his presence from me. All of him I surrender. All to Thee, my Blessed Savior, I surrender all.
~ your little girl

few of my fav things: natural ways to rid of fleas

snowstorm!!!

The forcast made a 100% promise of snow to start late in the afternoon. It was like flip of a switch and the fury of baby powder snow covered everything it touched. In a matter of minutes it turned into 3 inches of snow and still was coming down. I had choosen to take the back country roads where my jeep would have more control. I took it slow and prayed ....

As I enjoy the beautiful snowscape safe inside my cozy home, I am thankful for Beauty and Safety ..... The snowstorm took a life tonight ... I pray for those left behind .. that they find Assurance and Home in Your Everlasting Arms....

moments captured: snowglobe

disappointment ...

"Mom, have guys disappointed you?" her daughter asked.

"Honestly... Yes, they have disappointed me." The mother had a distant look come over her eyes.

"Could you tell me your disappointments?" came the soft reply.

"Oh ... yes, I would love to share..... My first disappointment came from a younger and shorter highschool guy who at least had the strength to ask me out. I had to reject him because he just wasn't spiritually strong enough. After coming back from college I happen to run into him. I just felt kinda sad. He still seemed to have this lost look." Looking back over her journey this young man at least had choosen her. No, she would never had changed her decision .....

"My next disappointment came from a young man at church. He kept looking at me like he really wanted to say something to me. I had gotten all kinds of flack from my family for being so cold to this young man. But in my small quiet way I tried the best I knew at the time to at least try to be close to him ... Then he marries and I still felt his eyes on me. Not the distrubing kind of look ... just that he wanted to say something but never could." No, he would never be strong enough to handle her if he couldn't even talk to her. It is a man's job to prove his metal ... He must ride and capture his lady's heart or he isn't worth it.

"Then came the years of great disappointment. It was as though I was invisible. I had entered a void." She had spent many years fixing and changing herself with no progress. Eating up every detail on how to be a good wife ... to make a great marriage..... Self-help addict with no returns.....

"What is a really sad disappointment is men who have made commitments to another woman and feel that they can play with my emotions and my life. Some know it is wrong and yet they cannot seem to behave. Others just do not care." Anger twirled with sadness surged through her. Yet, this only made her stronger ....

"My child, my biggest Joy came from a Man who choose me. He called me Beautiful. He is the Almighty God and He will never disappoint you." A satisfied smile came over her face.

"But Mom, what about Dad? Did he disappoint you?" The innocent question was really a probe into the deep. Her daughter was searching...

"Ahhh, Dad.... did he disappoint? Well, he is human and he did break my heart. Many times I have wanted to shake him up a bit. I would always run straight the to Heavenly Father. We would talk it out. I love your Dad like crazy and even when I was in a mist and couldn't see, I knew my Heavenly Father was my Strong Tower. Now I can see how the dots connected." Oh, how she remembered many nights when she wailed out her pain and paced the floor wishing for more ... Oh, how God reminded her that He was all she needed....

"Mom, did you ever think of walking out on Dad?" She had her mother talking now there was no way she was going to let up. She always felt her parents marriage was strong .... and she was curious to how they made it ....

"Yes, it was in the very beginning. He didn't believe marriage was going to be kind to him. He had been burned. He would never admit it then ... but I knew that marriage could heal ... only if it was a true reflection of God. I felt in the heart that I was his match and he was mine. He would come and go.... then he disappeared .... I am a strong believer that I could not pursue. I cried and I had a fit ... but I told God he was his .... I couldn't believe I had it wrong this time .... but then again I never had a good record. I let go. It was ... a lonely goodbye ... " Tears pooled in her eyes. She thought he would never come back .... let alone realize that he lost a real love. God held her close to His beating Heart ... He had a lot of work to do .....

mommy bear: real vs fake

real vs fake

"Mom, how do you know if a guy is real in what he is saying or if he is just ... wellll ... uh .. just wanting to get in your pants?" her daughter blurted out with a blush in her cheek for being so blantent to her poor mother.

"No easy questions are there?! I have to be very honest with you.... I do not totally understand what goes on in a man's brain. I have gotten confusing signals. You have to understand what reality is and what fake is. " The mother paused to collect her thoughts and experiences.

"Try questions as a way to figure out what is going to work for you and do not settle for anything less. Questions like: Is he going to fight for your beauty and honor? Is he going to marry you? Is he willing to make his home with you? Is he going to come home to you every night? Is he going to share himself with you? Is he going to flee cheating ways because of his respect and love for you? Is he honoring your beauty inside and out? Is he keeping your beauty clean from defilement of abuse whether it is sexual, verbal, or abandment? Is he strong enough for you? Is he willing to act on your behalf? Do you have to ask for attention or does he freely give you attention? Is he choosing you or did you snag him?" Looking deep into her daughter's eyes, she ached to make this easy but knew hearts break and they grow back stronger. She silently whispered a prayer of protection and safety...

"My hardest part was realizing that some men have a woman that he made a commitment to yet think they can have other women. Some know it is wrong and try to correct it and yet continue ... " The mother relived a couple of experiences and grew sad for the men that failed ....

"Just walk tall and know what you really want for your life journey and do not settle for less. Remember to always look into God's eyes. Marriage is a picture of God... His Warrior side and His Beauty side.... He is Real never a fake. A true marriage should always reflect God's Image" the mother hugged her daughter and sighed.

Love is a hard journey especially on a woman's heart. She is so relational and sees things that men cannot ....

mommy bear: a person needs

the Word ...

"In the beginning was the Word, & the Word was with God, & the Word was God. He {Jesus} was with God in the beginning. Through Him all things were made, without Him nothing was made ... In Him was Life, & that Life was the Light {Jesus} of men. The Light shines in the darkness, but the darknes has not understood it."
john 1:1-3

"the Word became Flesh & made His Dwelling among us."
john 1:14

"heaven & earth will pass away, but MY Words will never pass away.
Be careful or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkness, & the anxiesties of life, & that day will close on you like a trap..."
luke 21:33-34

* * * * * * * * * * * *
She holds her candle close to her heart, hands, & face in efforts to keep warm. Darkness swirls and surrounds her like hungry wild winds ripping and fraying her resolve. Her feet are heavy with the quicksand mud of words untrue and hollow.

His Words echoes a continued beat in her mind. A mystic rhythm flows through out her heart, soul, and feet. His Word, His Light shines upon her and the Way.

In the beginning was Light. In the end was Light. Today Indwelling in her heart is Light. This Light remains and endures. This darkness passes away. Earthly words passes away. No traps in Light.

The Expectant One, full of Mystery and of Light is Ever True and Full ... peaking and satisfying her hunger.

My dear little one! Let not your heart be troubled. I will never leave you nor forsake you ... never ever! {john 14:1/heb13:5}

seasons of marriage...

With each passing season you can go into any store and look into any magazine and see the celebration of the senses. Certain colors, smells, sights, touch, sounds, tastes, and even activities are designated for each. We feel the new energy and get excited with each new season even as we have our favorite one. However, whenever the physiologists get a hold of marriage and describe the passage of time as seasons, they make fall and winter months so barren and hopeless. It is just what happens they say, but I say no not in that way.

Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter are passages of time that collect a year. It is a cycle of growth not of death. Each season is needed for the fullness and richness of life.

Lets take grapes for an example...
In springtime the earth awakes. The ground takes in the nutrients of the suns and the rains. The main grapevine start to push up the sap into the shoots. These shoots reach upwards to grab the fence and intertwine themselves forever growing outwards. From these brown shoots pops green leaves and blossoms. Everything is new and fresh. There is an excited energy.

In springtime a relationship or marriage is all things new. The girl is giddy and all smiles. The boy is bending over backwards for great impressions. There is just something exciting about all the firsts like hand holding and kissing. You feel like you are on top of the world and that nothing can break your heart. Everything is new and fresh. There is an excited energy. This is new love.

In summertime the bees have worked their pollen and the blossoms bloom and leave room for hard green gems. Warm sunshine and rains provide substance. Sap and nutrients pump through the vines allowing these new grapes to develop sugar as they ripen growing sweeter and sweeter. There is a growing energy.

In summertime a relationship or marriage is all things growth. The new couple reach out for each other. They find ways to connect their lives to each other. They learn each other favorites and dislikes. They know what each other is good at and know how they compliment each other allowing their relationship to ripen and grow sweeter. There is a growing energy. This is hot love.

In autumn the grapes have reached their fullest and sweetest flavor. They are hanging heavy on the vine. These lush grapes are begging to be harvested. Plucked and hauled off for the vats to be squashed into wine is the destiny of the grape - shelved in storehouses preparing for the winter months. There is a thanksgiving energy.

In autumn a relationship or marriage is all things harvest. The enduring couple have weathered good times and bad times. In the pressing times they know their resiliency. They have found safe harbor in each other arms. They are full in a blended flavor. There is a thanksgiving energy. This is ripe love.

In winter the storehouse is full of good and aged wines. The table is set. The goblets shined and waiting for the purple liquid to be poured. Good company and sharing of life are toasted. There is a hearth energy.

In winter the relationship or marriage is all things shared. The aged couple welcome and share together and with others of their rich relationship. It is time to enjoy and cherish each other. Reminiscing the years and experiences they had together and toasting a marriage will lived and enjoyed. There is a hearth energy. This is old love.

With seasons they come and they go to come back around again even in a relationship or a marriage. To have the honor and privilege to experience new love, hot love, ripe love, and old love all swirled together ... mmmm, best wine!

the flea list...

I have had pets all my life and have never had problems with fleas until a month ago. My pupinators have sensitive skin and trying to rid them has been an issue. I like natural ways of getting rid of this pest.

1) If I had my way, I would be growing tobacco for lawn use! Yup, that is a tip. Tobacco was used to get rid of insects. I think it would be cheaper than washing the lawn in beer! No, I didn't do it but my grandma has and she has nice grass!

2) Ok, back to more helpful natural ways to rid yourself of 'them' pesky fleas. Have your dog eat yeast or garlic. Yeast? Oh my, their little buddha bellys would be big buddha bellys! Hmmm, next!

3) Garlic ... ok sounds good but isn't that in the same family as onions? Onions can kill a dog. Use citrus oil on your dog's coat. {another reason to grow a lemon tree indoors!} I could do that but not on their underside where my one pupinators has hot spots in his leg pits.

4) Use Eucalyptus. I went to the craft store but the eucalyptus is dyed. Oh grrr, where am I going to find natural eucalyptus here ... I do not live in OZ. {Hmm, wonder if I could grow a gum tree indoors along with a lemon tree?}

5)Last tip is cedar chips. I have this crazy idea to use zip up pillow cases and use cedar chips used for genia pig bedding. The local target does not sell it anymore! However, the new pet shop has it. Guess what? There on the package was written that it is a natural way to get rid of fleas and said how often to change it when using for dogs! My, my, my!

6) Soapy bath drowns the fleas. Sorry boys! I gotta!

7) Vinegar is always my best solution for cleanliness. Washing out their bed and washing their bedding in vinegar is a must.

I know I have strayed from my usual posts but my pupinators are apart of my joyful journey.

a person needs...

"Mom, what does a person need for life?" she said. The paper was due next week and she saved asking her Mom for last. She is pretty sure of her answer...

"What does a person need for life? What a wild question and I am driving! Asking that kind of question could cause a wreak!" Her mother giggled like she was a carefree young girl.

"I am pretty sure what your answer will be ...," the daughter said with a twinkle.

"Oh, you do? Well, you should .. I have tried to nurture you into a beautiful woman. {sigh} A person needs manners. I am surprised we still have ears for the lack using one's listening skills or hearts for that matter with all the knives in the backs! One needs to be aware of other's dreams. This world is too fragile to be stomping and stampeding over others. One needs to behave well. It tells of your character and of your faith. One needs to have empathy and compassion in action. Let your tears guide you to make this world better. One needs God .... who else knows us better than our Creator. He tucked our dreams in our hearts and He set us a purpose to fulfill here on earth for His Kingdom."

anatomy of a discussion...

A discussion is not proving your opinion is any better than someone else's opinion! How rude and inconsiderate! If I wanted to be baited and antagonized, I would seek acupuncture with knitting needles!

The purest kind of discussion is to listen to someone's experience and life picture as well as sharing your own. It is seeing where there is Light for your journey ahead.

One should never feel cornered, made a target, or experience a double standard. If it is not working for you, you have every right to remove the target off your back.

what it is not:
-negativity -complaining -name calling -conflict & chaos

what it is for:
*positive *Light *complimenting *creativity

my Dearest Strong Tower,
You created a deep well in me. I strive on meaningful conversation. I do enjoy healthy playfulness. It seems to cause others to laugh at me. I now understand more completely how what you say is no longer in your control...

I have removed myself from being their target yet now I have to put up with their catty talk now as my office is not my own. Bring the boss home soon!

I am taking a closer look at my own stumbling talk to make sure I live up to a more pure discussion.

Safety is being at Home in You. I often wonder at the womanly changes in her moods and I am begining to realize that maybe they are there to protect her when her inner beauty is being abused. It is protecting your home and insuring your safety nets.....

Thank You for allowing me to experience a pure discussion with a good friend last year. He knew how to discuss and protect. May I get to experience it again =) and may my words know how to protect ... Thank You for being my Shield and Defender!
~always your trembling sheep

snowglobe!!!

A promise of snow came this morning in soft little snowflakes but in the matter of minutes it became a snowglobe. This is the best kind of snow and with no shaking required!!! Wrapping up in your best winter coat with a fun sharf and mittens, you take a walk in this winter wonderland. Leaving your footprints of your little journey behind and wearing the little delicate made perfect snowflakes, you feel a joyful celebration begin in the depths of your soul. Who would have thought winter would give you the truest meaning of warmth. happy december!

moments captured: winter rainbow

what is anger? what is depression?

Depression is like taking out your soul. The value of your self-worth is nothing. Ask what is out of your control and there you find sources of this grey feeling. You are backed into a corner with no way out and in creeps anger. What is anger? ... being shamed. You never have measured up. You never seem to have enough to cover your needs.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
my Dearest Strong Tower,
Anger was my bedfellow today and I messed up. I am beginning to notice a cycle of where there are days where I just cannot handle too much social stimuli. I am thinking that I need a new stredegy for tomorrow so I can live up to the name You have called me {joyful one}.

I want to walk in Your Light and not run. I want to be quiet and I do not think that is wrong. May my voice be full of Your Kindness. May my smile reflect Your Light. Lord, shield me with Your EverLasting Arms and may their laughter at me fall away.

You are my Safe Place. I can be the real me in Your Presence. You are my Home. You never laugh at me. You call be Beautiful and I blush with healing in my wounds. You still my rage and remove my shame. You get me because You know me intimately as You have created me and filled my heart with dreams. You have given a purpose for my life here on earth. I sing and skip with an abundance of joy bursting in my heart. I am blessed.
~ weary but always yours

Mystery of God...

"My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart & united in Love,
so that they may have the full Riches of Complete Understanding,
in order that they may know the Mystery of God, namely Christ,
in who are hidden all the Treasures of Wisdom & Knowledge."
col 3:2-3 (col 4:3)
* * * * * * * *
Dearest God - my Treasure,
I love the word Mystery. Most people beat themselves up over trying to figure it out, rather You just want us to enjoy the unfolding of Your Wisdom & Knowledge. My thoughts are humble and weak. I am encourage to know You are my Storehouse. You layer my learning in just the right amounts so that I am not overwhelmed or dull out. Thank YOU!
~ always your sheep

game vs journey

played or traveled?
alone or team?
use or learn?

What does life look like to you?

fire vs snowflake

"Maybe he is responding to you the only way he understands. Maybe the other woman relationships like his mother, sisters, etc are like fires and you are just a snowflake. He responds back with fire melting you away. He doesn't see the beauty of the intricate and simple snowflake. Maybe he thinks you demand just like all the others. Maybe he doesn't know how to let a snowflake change him."

a believer's heritage...

... is an inheritance of eternal life, a legacy of risk, a tradition of peace and compassion, a birthright of love, and a custom of trust.

long distance relationships ...

Can they work? A couple of expletives just might give you a precise answer. However, {takes calming breath} LDRs are not for the faint of heart. One must totally understand the anatomy of this kind of give and take.

A LDR is an in depth look at yourself and giving from your heart the honest truth to another who happens to be miles away physically but connected very closely and intimately. It is getting to the mental, emotional, and the spiritual connections. It is about endurance and tenacity. You must be trustworthy and trustgiving. It is so intense that you must be ready or you will fade. It takes work just like any other relationship but it does deeper and results in a sturdy teamwork. Shouldn't all relationships be tested with distance to see how REAL it is? To get the picture of its LONGEVITY?

"Miles mean nothing when you are in love,
& love means everything when you are miles apart."

"Absence diminishes mediocre passions & increases great ones, as the winds extinguishes candles & fan fires."
~ franois la rochefoucauld

"Absence sharpens love. Presence strengthens it." ~ benny franks

thanksgiving thoughts...

1. Voicing your thanksgiving...
"It's good to Praise the Lord
& make music to Your Name, O Most High,
to proclaim Your Love in the morning
& Your Faithfulness at night..."
ps 92:1

"Every Good & Perfect Gift is from Above,
coming down from the Father of the Heavenly Lights,
who does not change like shifting shadows."
james 1-17
2. Living your thanksgiving ... abundantly...
"...just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord,
continue to live in Him, rooted and built upon Him,
strengthened in the Faith as you were taught,
& overflowing with thankfulness.
col2:6
3. Trust { TASTE } !!!!
"O Taste & see that the Lord is Good!
Blessed is the man who trusts
& takes Refuge in Him."
Ps 34:8
4. It is about what we HAVE, not what we don't ...
"Therefore, since we are receiving a Kingdom that cannot be shaken,
let us be thankful,
& so worship God acceptably with reverence & awe,
for our God is a Consuming Fire."
heb 12:28
5. "unseen"
"Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our Light & momentary troubles
are achieving for us Eternal Glory
that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is Eternal.
II cor 4:16-18
fr: sunday 11.27.05 sermon

Winter rainbow!

Driving to grandma's house though the winter wonderland this Thanksgiving day, I noticed the sky closest to the horizon was a wash in thick layers of rainbow colors. The sky was laden with clouds but in the thin spots the sun shone through golden and caught the snow crystals reflecting down a God-Promise ... thank You, Almighty Creator of Beauty...

moments captured: pretty in white

thank offering sacrifice...

"Consider this, you who forget God,
or I will tear you to pieces, with none to rescue;
he who sacrifices thank offerings honers Me,
and he prepars the way
so that I may show him the Salvation of God."
~ ps 50:22-23

Dear Almighty God,
I had made way for gratefulness in my life yet my life still seemed stuck in murkiness. It wasn't until You shocked my life back to the adventure You intended it to be, that I understood Joy. Joy doesn't come in the easy days but the days that are rocky and quite scary.

I saw Your Word here and questioned why thanksgiving would be a sacrifice!?! Sacrifice means offer up of life and treasure; surrender for a purpose. In my humble words sacrifice is a hard thing to do. Why would thanksgiving be hard? shouldn't it be easy? Then I looked back over my journey past.

It is easy to thank You for all the good things that happen in my life everyday, but it is the more difficult to thank You for those painful things You have given me. You have given me a life of singlehood when I would much rather be passionately head over heals in a loving relationship with a soulmate. This is a hard thing to say thank You for...

I dearly love to use shocking words or words that might not match up with the topic. You did it here .. ''I will tear you to pieces'' ... wow!¡ You have me listening. You brought Joy into my life by taking away my means of putting bread on the table. I would not trade this enriching life-lesson. You rescued my murky and dark life then so I look forward ...

I prepare the way by offering thanks for this single adventure. I look to You now as I give up my desire for couplehood and relish the Salvation Love only You can provide.

As I move forward on my adventure I will look at all the hard parts of my life in a way of offering sacrifice, expectant of Your Rescue.
~ your grateful girl

thanksgiving from a gratefulllll heart '05 ...

Looking at family traditions i believe they're really important in strengthening the family, bringing families together. It's like having 'in' jokes among friends or family and these join and unite people together (hopefully in a positive sense). The same is perhaps true with God... He wants us to have special family traditions/rituals, things that are unique to our Family, things that draw us together... ~ Lovely

my blogs - have quieted my restless heart and allowed a deeper walk and a deeper peace with my Lord, Breena & Kent- their lives hung in the balance between earth and Heaven, but God allowed them more life here, the Rock of Ages - He is the same yesturday, today, & tomorrow, Lovely - meeting a fellow traveler who is lovely and captiviting {{Thank You, Heavenly Father}}, Aug Family Night - our family got to know each others dreams in a deeper way ... God was felt, my family - they are my circle, my pupinators!!! - they are love unconditional and they make my day, Ger & Di - They saw the Great I AM provided a job right when their money was not going to cover the bills, ...

Walk the Line ...

I was anxious to see this movie for the love story between June and Johnny. I wanted to see how a woman could be strong enough for herself and for a man bent on destroying himself. I rate this a movie as a 10 ...

characters:
Joaquin Phoniex so engrossed himself into Johnny's character that his side curl of his mouth and his eyes were as though he had become Mr. Cash. If you chosed your eyes, you almost could swear that you were listening to Johnny.

Reese Witherspoon captured June's spirit. The fight that takes to still have others respect you and yet hold out your hand to help another who is lost.

dreams:
I am a dreamer and I believe in affirming the dream and purpose in others. My spirit was a shout'en! I was very hot with anger at Johnny's father. ''The wrong son died'' ... how dare you kill a young child's dream and purpose. Those words haunted Johnny but his dream to be a country singer kept tugging at his heart. It was his first love and one that would carry him through his life, but he always was battling his demons.

belief:
You cannot believe in yourself without a trust that God believes in you. God creates your being and has tucked in your heart dreams and a purpose for your life. You fail yourself, others, and ultimately your God when you have no belief.

Everything falls apart in Johnny's life, but tucked in Johnny's heart was the love of singing. He kept failing his purpose, but God in His Infinate Wisdom sent a human named June to bring belief and faith into a walking dead man. As June along with her father and mother stood their ground protecting Johnny from falling back into the drugs, Johnny began to sober up and realized the strength in belief that God created him and his dreams and had a purpose for his life.

Dear Creator,
Thank You for affirming the dream in me. I know of one in particular who I cry out for over and over to You. I believe in his dreams and his purpose .... Ahhh, You are my Source, my Storehouse of Strength and Wisdom, and You are my Joy. You are my Source of Endurance and Tenacity .... I thought I had an unending supply, but my own has run out. Yours is an Ever-Constant. Thank You for my own dreams and the dreams of those around me. I cherish ....
~ always your little lamb

a movie review: dreamer

pretty in white...

After getting past the black ice at two different intersections, I took in the beauty of the first snow of the season. The Master Creator filled in the fresh canvas with a haze of white. In the east He put a round window of a haze of yellow where Mr. Sun was trying to crash through. The naked trees stood dress in black swaying with the tune of the Wind... As I soaked in this vision, I wonder if I can catch this moment in my apprenticeship of paint....

moment captured: first star

"Treasuring is an Attitude...

"... we carry in our hearts, a conviction we hold deep down inside. It's one big decision that plays itself out in 10,000 little decisions every day of our lives."
~ "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary & Norma Smalley

the battle over our hearts ...

"The Lord's portion is His people."
- Deut 32:9

Do we not remember that glorious hour when He carried our hearts by storm? When He placed His Cross against the wall, and scaled our ramparts, planting on our strongholds the blood-red flag of His Omnipotent Mercy? Yes, we are, indeed, the conquered captives of His Omnipotent Love. Thus chosen, purchased, and subdued, the rights of our Divine Possessor are inalienable: we rejoice that we never can be our own; and we desire, day by day, to do His Will, and to show forth His Glory. ~ Spurgeon

Dearest Divine Possessor,
I am so glad that I am Your portion. You choose little ol' me! I love the part where You took my heart by storm with Your Everlasting Arms! If You hadn't come for me, I would still be out in those violent waves beaten and sucked under to the utter depths of the sea! My heart and soul sing of delight of You. You are all I need .... what a respondsability to be needed.....
~ always Your treasured potion

Spurgeon: tried faith

God's day...

All life systems are measured by / \ / \ / \. There is a time for work and a time for play, a time to inhale and a time to exhale. The rhythem of life is busy - rest - busy - rest not just busy, busy, busy.

Our outrageously busy life kills our soul that seeks rest. Remember the Lord who rescued you from enslavement.
~ fr: today's sermon

I'm going to carve out a better sabbath for God. It is my delight and savor day.

Isa 58:13-14

NEED

A woman has this feeling of need that seems to be always lurking in her world. She feels the need to be beautiful or she will be discarded. She feels the need to be protected or the wicked and sly will leave her raped and violated. She feels the need to connect and matter or her mind, heart, and soul will shivel up. She feels the need to matter or she will die of inattention.

This earth says she is too needy so she keeps hiding all her yearnings. Her tears in the darkness are her food and drink. She runs Home to her Maker and Husband (Isa 54:5). His Everlasting Arms welcome her. He whispers, "I AM ALL you NEED."

A man does not feel need because he does not want to feel less of a man. He conquers and takes over his place of profession or he is less of a man. He conquers and takes women or he is less than a man. He conquers and takes over church or he has to admit there is a God. He conquers and takes over the remote for excape or he is less than a man.

This earth says he must have many conquests so he keeps on taking. His inadequacy in the darkness is his food and drink. He must give in to his ultimate need and run Home to the Warrior King of kings and the Great Shephard. His Everlasting Arms are Mighty and Strenth-Giving. He is Patient and waits for men to relinquish the fight. He whispers,
"Come and lay down all your weapons. I AM ALL you NEED."

Dearest Creator,
It is so far from my feeble understanding why there is so much distance between women and men. You created this need in both yet we fight and withhold our yearnings from each other. I kinda think you want us to come together here not for each of us to be the total need-filler but rather to come together and come to You, the StoreHouse and Great Provider.

I think that this need for each other teaches us our great need for You. This should not repel but bring together... I know You will show me Your Wisdom. Thank You for being so Constant in my life.
~ always your little lamb

curious...

"Are you curious?" he asked. The phone call was winding down. He liked to pop a wild question and leave. It was a way to test the waters.

"What do you mean?" She heart started to beat in double time. She kind of knew what the question was about. She did not want to betray her heart. He never promised a thing and she was not about to fall for casual.

"You know, aren't you curious about where this thing we have might take us?" He probably could feel the space arching with her wild thoughts.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
She had floundered her way though with some response. It was something about no matter what happens that they had an eternal connection. They were both believers. She had wanted to make sure he knew that she depended on a God who could make the impossible possible.

Her answer now would be more sure. She is sure of her capacity to love. She believes that marriage is a reflection of God. She believes in the teamwork. She is tenacious and very passionate. She loves to come along side. She is super sure of God's Mystery alive and working in her life. She dwells in possibility and curiosity is a part of that. She is exciting by the unfolding. She doesn't want to pull the petals rather she wants to enjoy the bloom.

What she is sure of about him is that he can talk her language without belittling or making fun. She loves his mind and his thoughts. She loves his heart and his dreams. She loves his soul and his faith. She loves his playfulness. However she also knows he disappears over and over again.... she is not curious about that.

cave vs. disappearance

All she knows about men is that they send a lot of time away in their 'caves'. It was told to her never to mess with a bear in his cave or you will get hurt. It has always been a mystery. Maybe if she could understand from a guy's point of view, she could leave bears in caves alone.

He had been in his cave and now he was out. She got up the nerve to ask and was presently surprised to hear his reply. "You will only get hurt if you demand from the bear. You have to support the bear in his own language. What is his love language? Support him in that. I was at my wits end and I sunk down on the stairs and wept. What touched me was my daughter giving me a side hug to herself. She did not say anything. That was support that I needed," he said. His words gave her hope.

Today the hope has died. She is not sure about the cave thing anymore. It doesn't seem to fit the continual absence. How can she understand when everytime the bear slips away in the cave it is for extreme amounts of time? She ran into the cave.

Darkness enveloped her. Echoes of her footsteps felt like crashes of waves upon her. Her own heart beat deafened her scences. The bear was not here. So she went in deeper and she became emptier. Then she saw the glaring light ...

... a back door! It is not the cave ... rather bears disappear.

genia pig...

"Would you mind if I used you as a genia pig?" he asked. He is a bit of a scientist always coming up with theories and then testing them. This time he was testing the middle stuff between a man and a woman. What makes the relationship between these two sexes?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Beware of being the genia pig. It is an empty contract. No promises are made and a lot of hurt happens. You become vested in this experiment. You signed on because in the deepest part of your soul, you knew you were strong and could handle what might come your way. Your prayers were requests to keep centered on being what God designed your womanhood to be. You always reigned in your mind and your walk from pursuing. You self talked your way through the potential hurt.

Being the genia pig you rely on the give and take of the experimenter. When he disappears so does the stuff that makes the relationship. All you will know is what breaks you ...

tried Faith...

"The trial of your faith."
- 1 Peter 1:7

Faith untried may be true faith, but it is sure to be little faith, and it is likely to remain dwarfish so long as it is without trials. Faith never prospers so well as when all things are against her: tempests are her trainers, and lightnings are her illuminators. When a calm reigns on the sea, spread the sails as you will, the ship moves not to its harbour; for on a slumbering ocean the keel sleeps too.

Let the winds rush howling forth, and let the waters lift up themselves, then, though the vessel may rock, and her deck may be washed with waves, and her mast may creak under the pressure of the full and swelling sail, it is then that she makes headway towards her desired haven. No flowers wear so lovely a blue as those which grow at the foot of the frozen glacier; no stars gleam so brightly as those which glisten in the polar sky; no water tastes so sweet as that which springs amid the desert sand; and no faith is so precious as that which lives and triumphs in adversity. Tried faith brings experience.

You could not have believed your own weakness had you not been compelled to pass through the rivers; and you would never have known God's strength had you not been supported amid the water-floods. Faith increases in solidity, assurance, and intensity, the more it is exercised with tribulation. Faith is precious, and its trial is precious too.

Let not this, however, discourage those who are young in faith. You will have trials enough without seeking them: the full portion will be measured out to you in due season. Meanwhile, if you cannot yet claim the result of long experience, thank God for what grace you have; praise Him for that degree of Holy Confidence whereunto you have attained: walk according to that rule, and you shall yet have more and more of the blessing of God, till your faith shall remove mountains and conquer impossibilities. ~ Spurgeon

" O Taste & see that the Lord is Good! Blessed is the man who trusts and takes refuge in HIM." Ps 34:8

Spurgeon: my home

a picture of Joy...

Joy is a buoyancy that holds your mind, your heart, your soul, and your whole being above the wild and violent waters. That is why Joy is strength.

''the Joy of the Lord is Strenth.''
~neh 8:10

manners...

"Oh, I just don't have time to read or respond your writings." These are words she has heard from more than one person. People in her inner circle. People she has valued. Allowing these people to read her most private thoughts and journey is a compliment of the highest order. Now feelings of worthless stir in her heart.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Manners in the simplest of terms is giving worth and respect to your fellow human. I never had rigid training in thank you notes when I was a young'en. When I thought about it was a struggle to come up with something. The words thank you just did not seem enough. I wanted more words. I wanted an elegant thank you so the receiver felt moved.

Now that I have a few years under my belt, I have a better understanding the value of a simple note. You must slow down and forget the ticking of the clock. Read, lean in, and listen to the words and respond even if it is one little thing. Maybe it connects to something in your own journey and you can share. Give a little value back...

my Home...

"The eternal God is thy refuge." - Deut 33:27

The word refuge may be translated "mansion," or "abiding- place," which gives the thought that God is our Abode, our Home. There is a fulness and sweetness in the metaphor, for dear to our hearts is our home, although it be the humblest cottage, or the scantiest garret; and dearer far is our Blessed God, in whom we live, and move, and have our being. It is at home that we feel safe: we shut the world out and dwell in quiet security.

So when we are with our God we "fear no evil." He is our Shelter and Retreat, our Abiding Refuge. At home, we take our rest; it is there we find repose after the fatigue and toil of the day.

And so our hearts find rest in God, when, wearied with life's conflict, we turn to Him, and our soul dwells at ease. At home, also, we let our hearts loose; we are not afraid of being misunderstood, nor of our words being misconstrued. So when we are with God we can commune freely with Him, laying open all our hidden desires; for if the "secret of the Lord is with them that fear Him," the secrets of them that fear Him ought to be, and must be, with their Lord.

Home, too, is the place of our truest and purest happiness: and it is in God that our hearts find their deepest delight. We have Joy in Him which far surpasses all other 'happiness'. It is also for home that we work and labour.

The thought of it gives strength to bear the daily burden, and quickens the fingers to perform the task; and in this sense we may also say that God is our Home. Love to Him strengthens us. We think of Him in the person of His dear Son; and a glimpse of the suffering face of the Redeemer constrains us to labour in His cause. We feel that we must work, for we have brethren yet to be saved, and we have our Father's heart to make glad by bringing home His wandering sons; we would fill with holy mirth the sacred family among whom we dwell. Happy are those who have thus the God of Jacob for their refuge! ~ Spurgeon

Dearest Refuge,
I read these words this morning not knowing how much I would need them today. I could not wait to rush home and hide myself away. I wanted to cry and feel safe with covers tucked tightly around me. It was just a mentally tough day.

Thank You for wrapping Your Everlasting Arms around me. Your Strength keeps me and Your Joy settles my being into still waters. My tension tears have turned into tears of gratitude. My soft smile claims Your Victory...
~ always your little lamb

"As your days, so shall your strength be." ~Deut 33:25
Spurgeon: I am the Lord, I change not...

accidents...

"Do you believe in fate or do we have a choice?" he asked. Their day was pretty messed up and here sitting on the porch watching the stars seemed like a good place to be still.

"I believe in free will," she said softly. "I didn't have too but I freely choose to love you." Her shy smile deepened and her eyes twinkled.

"So what is up with accidents? What are they for? How can you have free will and accidents co-habitate in our lives? Why?" He raked his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"Accidents are bends in our journey. They take to places you would have never taken, but these accidents still allow you to choose how you will handle it. Accidents are places where we can actually touch God... more like God touching us and our lives. He freely choose to love us and He desires for us to freely love Him back. " Her face seemed aglow from her passionate words. He grab her hand in his.

"I like free will and accidents co-existing .... makes Love richer and deeper." He pulled her to her feet and went inside. The porch light went out and the night stars shone brighter.

if they like you...

As a child she stayed away from humor. It had a way of backfiring on her and she knew too well the brunt of being laughed at for her buck teeth. Her days were marked by books and bike rides. She knew how to do shy.

Today she finds a comfort zone in playfulness. No wicked or mean spirited humor for her. When she grows up, she just might be a very good comedian. Just don't forget to ask her about the NAKED jr. cheese burger deluxe!

Those around her find it easy to laugh. Most days she doesn't even notice the chipping away her good sportsmanship. A smile is the makings of a good day. A whole lot of smiles a grand day....

Then there are the days when she goes home a mess of tears. Her resistance is gone. She is sure that there is a target on her back. She doesn't want the label of being touchy. She knows the old saying that 'if they tease you, they like you.' Her heart says that 'if they like you, they will be kind' ...

Her core is deep thoughts and sensitivity. There is so much she can take. Frayed nerves wasn't going to cut it anymore. So she decided to exercise her quiet and gentle side.

She stayed away from anything that would be a battle. Her conversation was at the surface and one on one. If anyone noticed she passed it off as sleeping, daydreaming, lost in thought, or simplying clearing her space. This is her way of being kind...

I Am the Lord, I change not...

"Great is Thy Faithfulness, O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy Compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be."

"Great is Thy Faithfulness! Great is Thy Faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided -
Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord , unto me!"
~ Wm Runyan

"I the Lord do not change.
So you , O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed."
- Malachi 3:6

It is well for us that, amidst all the variableness of life, there is One whom change cannot affect; One whose heart can never alter, ... All things else have changed-all things are changing. ... the heavens and earth must soon pass away...

He has ever been the Refuge of his people, their Stronghold in the day of trouble, and He is their sure Helper still. He is Unchanged in His Love. He has loved His people with "an Everlasting Love"; He loves them now as much as ever He did... ~ Spurgeon

Dear Eternal One,
I sigh with relief that when everything around me changes, I run to Your Everlasting Arms. My country has changed. My state has changed. You know how passionate I am about being patriotic. These earthly bonds are breaking and I long for Home. I cannot wait.

Friendships change and some fail. Keeping the adventures sacred and allowing You to work.... I run to Your Everlasting Arms. You are my Storehouse of Wisdom. Today I heard You whisper "enjoy" .... I really needed to be reminded to enjoy their treasure. 'Thy Compassions fail not' ... my heart longs to 'restore its borrowed ray'.
~ always yours

Spurgeon: gazing upon Him...

trust = survive me ...

"What does trust mean to you?" the girl asked. Her sences about him said that he really had no trust.

"Survive me," the boy said simply.

"What does that mean?" the girl was really caught off guard.

"Will this other person participate in the fullness of me and continue to experience me? Trust = Survival," the boy explained.

{{"I know I am tenacious! No problem," the girl's heart said.}}

* * * * * * * * * *A year and almost two months have gone by and the boy has withheld his presence.

"How can anyone survive you when you disappear? How will you ever know the for betters and the for worses with someone instead of alone?" the girl's heart screamed into the wind.

"Yet you withhold parts of yourself from Me," God the Father whispered. "I want all of you. I want your strength, your mind, your heart, and your soul. Trust Me and know what power there is in surviving Me! The boy may have walked away but I have not. You have feeble faith. Let Me show you that I can calm all your storms. I am your Constant in all your for betters and your for worsts! Come to My Storehouse. I will tear down the door and let My Strength overflow you so that you can be proven trustworthy"