Meyer, Myrtle, Matie ...

Yes, I went ahead a ordered a small citrus grove!!! They arrived today as I was coming home from work!!! My Australian Lime Finger, Meyer Lemon, and Myrtle Leaf Orange tree-bushes are sitting all in a row in a west window for some good ol' sunbathing. I went out and got some 4in clay pots like they recommended for good drying out and root growth. I must wait a week before I transplant them so they are getting use to their surroundings. I haven't found the dirt yet that is recommended but I have a few days. I am like a new mom fussing over her new babies. It is just because I have no green thumb. Shhhh, please keep it between you and me. I don't want Meyer, Myrtle, or Matie getting wind of this. I want them to be happy, healthy, and fruitful! Gotta do everything by the book and yet remain cool. I don't want to them to see me sweat!!! Who knows maybe in a year or two I can report that I have lemons, oranges, and limes!!!!!

Another adventure for me and God. You know how Jesus is the Vine and we are the branches.... well, we have to be grafted to the vine. Citrus are a lot like that. To get a good citrus tree it is best to graft instead of using seed..... Interesting!!!

barren tears ...

Dearest Heavenly Father,
I know you have my best interest at heart but it is so hard to keep back my tears when I hear the speaker speak so highly of dating life and how to keep it pure. He speaks so well of how a girl is made to be the encourager and how the boy is to protect. I know in the deepest part of my heart that I am a great helpmate and encourager. I just have no one who thinks me special and beautiful enough (I know not the best words to use) to have in his life. I didn't mean to tear up but I did. It is down right painful to hear. I am reaching the twilight of my 30's and some speaker bring me to tears over his dating 101 for young adults. Argh!

Ok, I will admit there where a few tidbits that I ate up. Being barren for so long it is easy to forget how to conduct oneself. Like I never knew how to let a guy down if he should take a rare move and risk it all to ask me out and I just knew I needed to say no. The speaker said to just say NO THANK YOU. Nothing more. A guy is going to move around any excuse. GIVE NO EXCUSES!!! I have experience that one. The speaker said that the guy will even try to get around those three words and the girl is to keep saying those words. Another thing was that if a girl says yes to a date, she is saying that she approves of his character!!!!! Whoa! That is a keeper.

Even through my tears, I have some nuggets to keep. It is hard to not want but I keep up using Your Words to keep me warm on cold barren treks. You are my Shephard I shalllllllll NOT want!!!
always your little girl

worry {v}

= 'I don't believe God is BIG enough to handle my problems!'

crushed glass beaches!

So they are finally making sand out of glass! What a great way to recycle! Why didn't I think of that???

Some are critical about it saying that there are probably an unknown environmental hazard like the tire dump off the state of Florida. Come on! Glass is one product I have a lot of trust in and is one step away from nature. In fact God probably made the first glass by lighting striking sand!

crushed glass beach

The Model Wife

by Oswald J Smith

She was like a clinging vine,
He was bold and brave;
She was happy in his love
For herself she gave.

She was not a suffragette,
Self-sufficient? No!
She had found him all her world
For she loved him so.

Never empty were his arms,
She was always there;
When he needed her the most
He was then her care.

All she had she freely gave
For she was his own;
Love had come and made them one,
They were not alone.

She completely filled his world
For she was his wife;
No one else could steal his love,
She became his life.

Other pleasures had she none,
He was more than all;
Nothing ever interfered,
She was at his call.

When children came, her love
Still remained the same;
They could never take his place
Though they bore his name.

He was with her night and day
For he held her dear;
She was never satisfied
Unless he was near.

He was gentle, kind, and true,
She had won his heart;
Never had she cause to fear
For she did her part.

Arguments she did not use
Stronger where her charms;
He could never disagree
Lying in her arms.

What a welcome she bestowed
When he'd been away!
Tender were the words she spoke,
Nothing to dismay.

Such a marriage could not fail,
God had shown her how;
Without her he could not live,
She had kept her vow.

Down the path of life they'll go,
Walking hand in hand;
Guided by a Father's love
To the better land.

Eugene, 1952

Hmmmm, lately I've been thinking of how to be if a marriage went all quiet and distant. How would I respond? Would I become desprate and depressed? Would the self-growth I have now become withered and dried up? Would all my dreams of a great marriage and a great love vanish? Or could there still be a way for me to florish because God is MY First Love, MY Husbandman, and MY Great Lover of my soul? Could I be a great partner and lover?

I know I could never knowing enter into a partnership with a distant man, but if the marriage got onto this path, I would be sad but I feel with God-Alone He could guide to be the best lover possible yet remain intact and ever-growing in Him. I must always remind myself that I am not defined by other's bad moods or even their good ones. I am defined by my seeking and response to God's love. Am I falling deeper in love with God? That is where it all wrapped up...

citrus austraica!!!

Should I or shouldn't I? I've been wanting a lemon tree to grow indoors for a verrrrrrry loooooong time. I have recently discovered a place that has trees but more an indoor bush style. Logee's has a Meyer Lemon, an Myrtle Leaf Orange, and most interesting to me an Australian Finger Lime tree - well more like bushes. There is a small sale on the Finger Lime and I would have to get all three because it would make a better deal shipping wise. My apartment is small and I am not sure where to put them. I want them so I shall make room! The biggest draw back is that I lack a green thumb especially if the plant is needy! But then again it might not be the plant because I can't seem to grow herbs. I have no porch or outdoor area to call my own and garden in so it has to be able to make it indoors. If I fail in keeping these plants alive, I am out $40 bucks. OOOOOOO that would anger me. I would have to say after loosing precious trees like these, I would never touch a plant again! Hmmm, if I could be successful, I have a wish list already going! a grapefruit and a cherry bush!!!!!

What is it about me that even though I have proven to lack skills in plants, I still have this drive to try it! ??? CRAZY!

never lose by loving...

Funny how you go through different stages when you loose someone special. One of the stages was coming to the realization that I had loved. I truly loved and I will not be ashamed <-- said with strong conviction. Within the relationship I came to an understanding that I was willing to love this guy and love to me was work at it for the rest of my life. I totally kept this to myself. I was proud to recognize 'him' and was waiting for his pursuit. Never happened but I didn't loose.

Within me I have found a more relaxed and yet a tenacious spirit like always. I feel full. I more like a woman than a silly little girl. Don't get me wrong, the little 8 year old girl is still there {wink}. I am not sure that I will ever make a couple but I still wish. It is amazing how God has taken and molded me. I like the new shapes and I am far from being done...

I can't wait ....

'You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.' ~ barbara de angelia

paper, babycakes, home

* I hate allllllllll the plastic bags I accumulate. So I finally got the nerve up and asked for paper at one of my local grocery stores. Don' know why I feel like I am bucking the system. Anyhow, I just noticed on the paper bag, I can get 3¢ off on my next bill if I reuse the bags! Deal!

* I just got my first NYC Babycakes newsletter. She is writing a cookbook for all of us food allergy peeps!!! I am excited.

* I have to report that being home is the best place. My nerve endings can heal. No one belly aching about this or that. No complaints. Just me and myself - hanging out, being peaceful, and smiling by watching a funny movie. A bonus? Finding the driver to make my scanner work on my newer iMac version.

I needed to have good reports. Anger crept into me today. I get so tired of others especially ones you like comments that hinder the work atmosphere instead of encourage it. Some of the comments that come out of her about others are somethings she actually does. I don't like thinking like this about her yet I don't want to fall down into this either. Whatever is of good report .. think on these things....

a hooded raincoat ...

Rain pouring on the roof, windows, and walls makes for a great day to curl up under the covers. Wrong! It is Monday! I pull out my trusty raincoat where the inner lining is frayed. I must find a new one. I don't care for umbrellas but I sure love a raincoat with a hood. In my book it is not a raincoat without one! I haven't seen a good one this spring or summer season... I wonder what the fall season will hold...

Dwelling Place ...

There are 31 listings of 'Dwelling Place' in the Bible. 29 found in the OT and 2 in the NT. Last reference is in Revelations. All are speaking of God. I like this Name of God. I have found myself reciting Psalms 91:1 lately to battle my restless aching heart when I find myself wanting things that God knows I don't need at this time. I found that I am talking back and taking back my dwelling place as worldly vices and evils knock on my door. I just didn't call it a Dwelling Place. After chewing on a verse I found and the small amount of research, I declare my Dwelling Place is in the Shadow of the Almighty... my Fortress, my Refuge, God Alone Whom I trust...

Psalm 91:1&2
He who dwells in the Shelter of the Most High
will rest in the Shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, "He is my Refuge and my Fortress,
my God, in Whom I trust."

Psalm 84:1
How lovely is Your Dwelling Place, O LORD Almighty!


Psalm 90:1
Lord, you have been our Dwelling Place throughout all generations.

milk silver sliver ...

I was snuggled in my sofa watching a favorite movie. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a fingernail sliver of the moon. I kept watching it move through the dark night sky. It seemed to get bigger and bigger and the color seemed to change from a milk silver color to a pale peach. Bed time was calling but I continued to watch as the moon slipped west and down into the trees. A smile spread across my face and a little sigh fluttered in my heart... Night moon.... Thank Heavenly Creator! What beauty! What a bedtime vision! Night God...

first cork & first agave ...

I have tried wines in my past but have been very tentative. Then last Christmas and New Years, I thought I would try a glass of Riesling. Ok honestly here, I chose it because it came in 4 tiny cute BLUE bottles, but my massive headaches came back! Wines do not list their contents and I've had many wine people say there is no sugar in them. Well, something was in it!

I happened down the juice isle last Friday (8/10) for some reason. A bottle stood out with its sale ticket. I picked it up. It was a bottle of wine that was 'dewined'. Sauder has this 'fre' line of wine. They have a way to take the alcohol out! This bottle had a listing of ingredients. No sugar! I debated a bit but the bottle ended up in the cart.

When I got it home, I realized it had a cork! Oh no! I never got a cork out of a bottle before. I had visions of breaking the bottle or the corking taking flight (not good with a house full of glass) or cutting myself with glass shards. All I had was a cork screw on a pocket knife and the strength of a very light weight girl. I tried. It wasn't moving. I took the cork screw out and put it back in. I tried again. No movement. Argh. Is it getting hot in here? Hmm, got an idea. Should I try it? What if I flip backwards on my backside with the bottle tipping over and breaking? I am imagining the dweller below me ducking for cover with the noisy thud from upstairs! Oh, I am going to try. I take the bottle over to a rug and tucked my feet around the bottle. I then pulled as hard as I could and as easy as I could. SUCCESS! Cork came out easy. Bottle did not budge with my nibble feet holding them in place. I remained upright. No loud crashes.

I got a cork screw that helps in easing out the cork. I still might use the level of the floor to help.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I have been searching for agave (8/3). I call it 'cactus honey'. The GI content is less then honey. It would be a great substitute for my sugar allergy. I know I could find it in a health food store but hadn't found the time or made the time to go to one. Through word of mouth, a local store had it. I went and got it. It is a very light taste compared to the heavier taste of honey. I really haven't made anything with it. To warm here to bake at the moment. I have put it the chilly smoothies. I will use it sparingly. It is about twice as much as honey. Bummer...

So send I you

So send I you to labor unrewarded,
To serve unpaid, unloved, unsought, unknown,
To bear rebuke, to suffer scorn and scoffing,
So send I you to toil for Me alone.

So send I you - to loneliness and longing,
With heart a-hungering for the loved and known;
Forsaking home and kindred, friend and dear one,
So send I you - to know My Love alone.

So send I you - to leave your life’s ambitions,
To die to dear desire, self-will resign,
To labor long and love where men revile you,
So send I you - to lose your life in Mine.

by Margeret Clarkson

Whew! This hit me this morning as I drove into work. A very lonely hymn...

picture ≠ imagination

I got poor marks in reading comprehension and I LOVE BOOKS! Go figure!!! Over the years books have been more source of excape, education, and self-evolution. So why was it hard for me to grasp what I read? Do I still have the problem today?

Do you know I do not dream in picture? Yeah, strange! I dream in thought. I think that weird but I can't tell how others dream and I've asked. I would think most people dream in color and in picture. I just realized that my imagination isn't in picture either! Ok, I really think that is very bizarre!!!! Guess what? I am a highly visual learner!!!! Plus, I have a real creative rut about me. What a crazy coconutter {wink}!!! Hey, I guess that is why I love reading the books and watching the movies together.

So after all that crazy, I've connected the dots to why I can be creative and also have a good imagination. Another wierd fact about me is that I cannot do math in my head; it must come out on paper. So it is no surprise to me that I must bring my imagination and my comprehension out in picture form somehow whether through drawing or photos etc. Nifty!!!

Sorry, I just had to share my 'connect the dot moment'. I love brains and how they work especially my own.

mystic burrow ...

The green grass was weighted down with sparkling dew drops. The dark trees stood in masses as the white mist tried to hide them in its hazy vapor. Seeing a far off was a dark tunnel like hole where the trees parted back to allow for the road I was traveling on to make its way through. Surrounding this mystic burrow, the atmosphere was aglow in a pink and peach radiance that the sage like orange round sun. A fine beginning to a heavy handed day that promises of heat, humidity, and possible rain.

depression {n}

We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
~madame de stael

Be honest... how true it this?

Hmmm, question...
What if you cease loving yourself when others do love you and continuously 'try' to love you?

This life is all about teamwork but most go about living unto themselves and doing it their own way and being in the spotlight. So why should it shock and miff me when others cease to love themselves because they refuse to allow love in. I am afraid this is the definition of full blown depression.

freedom {n}

He is man that has major tatoos on his arm and wears black. He has red splotches in his black hair reminding you of flames. He has metal in his ears and has a rocker feel to him. His looks don't bother me but when his mouth goes off, you cringe. He seeks out your weakness and exploits it to get inside your head and throw you off your game. He claims to be an atheist yet he seems to know the Bible forwards and backwards. If he sences your weakness is your faith, watch out because he slices you to the bone and there you lay flayed with no structure to hold your ground. I sat there in horror as I watched him skin his victim. I in the safety of my covers began to talk back. How would I deal with such mental gymnastics? Could I hold my temper? Could I be quiet and soft but with a way about me that kept him safe yet put him back a few paces? Could I be a light that was soft and tempered like a candle? Could I be the salt that flavored the pot? If you can get around his verbage, you can see soft moments in him. Sometimes he goes to his victim and asks if he can talk. I think he smart and has feelings. I think he can really get a person. Pretty sure there is a wall of some sort holding back the truth of who he is. I have yet to see someone respond in a gentle but firm way to expose him in a safe place. Instead he gets curse words and religious verbage slung at him; he goes off smugly because he just proved another 'fanatic' is the same as him and no better. He's right again...

If only in the heat of tirade, you could stop the film and see what he brings to the table and work with that. Don't change him but be free to fill the cracks with love. Don't react! If he gets a response from you that is soft, smart, asking, just maybe he would be speechless and actually see the Jesus instead of hearing religious-words-without-deed thrown at him...

A believer has to be very deciplined with their speech and their love. The only way to have decipline is to keep your eye in the Word and actually do what God has requested of us. Our speech meaning the choice of our words and the tone we put behind it needs to embrace honor. How else is our very being going to reflect God's Glory? Nooooooo, we get defensive and abrasive, devouring others as well as ourselves...

Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:15-18

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
Galatians 5:13-16

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it--he will be blessed in what he does. James 1:23-25

Through out the NT there are many references to freedom. It hit me last night and again this morning. What is freedom? Will it change how I conduct my life?

free from what?
* Free from anger!
* Free from old ways
* Free from sin
* Free from death
* Free from desires
* Free from fear
* Free from rejection

What really got me was that I wrote down that I am free from anger. The surprise for me is that when someone comes at me with their loud voices and their accusations, I am free from that. I do not need to react. I do not need to have a whole body melt down. I do not need to start kicking myself or fight back. I do need to cut with my tongue. So what am I free to do?

free to what?
* Free to love
* Free to be kind
* Free to be impartial
* Free to learn without rejection
* Free to try without fear
* Free to become my purpose

I am free to refuel in God's Word when I feel the pressure of anger. I can love the angry person by being tenacious in my kindness realizing what they are bringing to the table. I can defuse them by knowing I am free and giving them back their dignity and a bit of control. I don't need their approval or disapproval. Ultimate Control is in God's Hands. My control is being soft.

Again having the picture of the table for me is very helpful. I know there could be underhanded things going on under the table, but all I have to work with is what they bring to the table and my own God-Given Bounty...

Free from the chains of anger and free to actively lavish love...

drip drip drip ...

t or f?
No one can continually ignore considerate, loving actions. If you make your mate feel special, you increase his or her desire to do the same for you. - From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

I believe this to be true! I have seen it work in action when I have targeted a subject to hug on a regular basis. Our relationship changed. So I have decided to work on other subjects. I am tenacious and constant. So this should not be a hard feat only in the dark and low moments. By keeping this tucked close to my heart, I will remain encouraged to keep at it.

bourne ultimatum ...

I would rate this movie a 9.9 and 1 Excedrin preferably before seeing the movie. Oh my, a headache and an 'carsick' tummy! Yikes! Hey, no girl friend got popped!

Being serious now, it was good to see Jason find the truth about his beginning. In this movie he chooses not to get involved with a girl. It seems that boys take the adventure and leaves the girl behind. Girl too close to 'spy' makes for a dead girl. Always part of the story line of a man's adventure. In real life girl belongs in the adventure. How does a boy keep the girl and the adventue? An interesting question and of course a soap box of mine!

How do Navy Seals and Secret Agents keep their work secret and keep a marriage? Can it be done? I personally think it can be done. Just haven't found the right match that believes like I do...

power of a question ...

I have been learning the capacity of asking not only others but of yourself. "Quiet Leadership" by David Rock had a ton of questions to ask but I need questions that I can and would ask. Here is a small sample:

* Where is your source of pain?
* Suppose you get rid of it?
* How would that look or feel like?
* Who is your souce?
* What is true in your life? What is false?
* How do you make it true?

I am finding true or false questions and the suppose questions handy for me to ask. They seem real to who I am. What questions do you feel comfortable asking?

Q.T.

What should my quiet time look like?
I talk to God all the time. I've got the praying without ceasing down maybe way too much. If I am a listener like I think I am, I need to carve out more time being quiet before Him. For now I would like to take 15 minutes of total silence in each day. No music. No t.v. Only me and God's word. I have decided on a few tools to keep my focus only on God's Word and not my own internal verbage.

*ask a question (seek)
Make question from what I read. Beware because after one question more come. Isn't the answer aways within the right question asked. I really like this technique. It gets me deeper inside His Word and then I can apply it my life.

* make an equation
You simply take a word add or subtract or equal or not equal it to another word. It is simple which it what God's Word is all about. One I have now is 'good gifts ≠ shifting shadows' (james 1:17)

*song
Singing a hymn that relates to what I've read.

*word picture
I love word pictures. If you really think about it Jesus was great at word pictures.

*contrasts
When you put two things up against each other, there are matches and opposites to be had.

*connect the dots
Nothing just stands alone; it is woven through out the fabric of the Bible. It is about searching a topic through the pages of God's Word and connecting them.

*butterfly
This is seeing that 'one Bloke wrote this book and repeating Himself over and over.' It is seeing that one butterfly wing mirrors the other butterfly wing. What you see in the Old Testament is reflected in the New Testament.

This is what I am starting with and I can't wait to see how it will morph into bigger things.

a date with God

STAY!

My evening and weekend was winding down and I was not looking forward to the work week. I was looking for an excuse to sit on my duff. As I was flipping channels about ready to shut it off, I rested on a lady talking about Ps 91 in a new way for me. I would like to share it with you.

He who dwells in the Shelter of the Most High
will rest in the Shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD,
"He is my Refuge and my Fortress,
my God, in Whom I trust."
~Ps 9:1-2

I have always enjoyed this verse especially in times of war whether physical or spiritual, but I really never claimed it as my own because I saw it more for the actual foot solder in a real flesh and blood war. Now I see it for the every day crazy bustle.

What I notice is the big old fat verbs. Can you see it? He who forsakes all else and runs to God and stays - no running in and running out - STAYS, will rest in the shadow of the Almighy. Picture the sweltering heat (pretty easy in the states where high heat and humity makes muah pretty wore out and punchy). Now picture running into the cool house. Who wants to go outside in the heat? You stay!

I really like these verses as I see myself running God. He sees me coming and His Arms are out stretched just waiting for me. He pulls me in and I rest in His Shadow. Then it goes further. I stand my ground and use my biggest voice where I declare God is my Refuge and My Fortress. I stake my trust in God ALONE.

The lady went futher and what caught my ears was that she said that 'if we fear the news, stop watching it. No, I take that back - you should be talking back to the news!' I yulped but not enough to disturb the neighbors! I have been talking back to shows but when it came to the news, I often found myself worrying in prayer. Probably impossible to do cuz you can't do both. Ok, I would worry and weep. From now on, I will be talking back to the news, too. I will claim Ps 91 and Ps 37.

The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnash their teeth at them;
but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for He knows their day is coming.

Happy Ending...

No Reservations ...

I loved this movie and would rate it 10. It is a simple, cozy, romantic chick flick and clean too. It is a must for my movie library.

My eyes did water and that could have been because I was in a rush to get off work. I was miffed at a demand made upon me. I won't rehash but in my anger, I knew I needed to surrender to this demand. As I let the darkness envelope me, the tears most likely came from the leading man's character. He was not mopey or dark or detached. He was not afraid of the leading lady's superior aloof passion for her cooking. He got in the mix and stood his ground. She melted and I melted. Where is a man like that in my life? Unfortunately, I am attracted to those mopey, dark, detached guys. Not because I am looking to be rejected but because there was this chemistry of finding something you always knew you lost but wasn't sure what it was until I found it in the relationship with him.

I do have to say the leading man did leave. He decided after the blow out to leave NY and go clear to LA. He didn't make it but that is leaving in my book. Maybe I am a little to hard on that but when that special man walks into my life, I want no doubts of his sticking to this thing called a relationship.

No reservations, right?

deceived?

¹⁶Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. ¹⁷Every good and perfect gift is from Above, coming down from the Father of the Heavenly Lights, Who does not change like shifting shadows. ¹⁸He chose to give us birth through the word of Truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all He created.
~James 1

What are we being deceived by?
Could it be that we feel dejected because 'good gifts' turn sour, dry up, or vanish and we wonder if the 'good gift' was really good? Could it be that we feel foolish because we acted in good faith what we thought God was saying for us to do and yet the 'good gift' vaporized? Could it be that all the packing for our Eternal seems like dust in our hands? Could it be that the shifting shadows have the control and we are fooled?

What is a good gift?
Could it be that we forget to attach perfect to the good gift? I admit I am guiltly. =S Could it be that we forget that God has Fatherly instincts and ways? Could it be that we forget that He would never suffer us to go without? Could it be that we forget that His Gifts are Heavenly and intended for Light? Could it be we forget that Heavenly Light is warming, comforting, and shines casting away all shifting shadow? Could it be that we have forgotten that He DOES NOT CHANGE? Could it be that we have traded our adoptive rights for sackcloth and ashes away in a dark corner? (see James 1:7&8 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.)

a good gift is:
... good, superb, excellent, designer
... perfect, flawless, matchless, exemplary, true
... light
... eternal

a good gift is NOT:
... shifting shadow

Who gives a good gift?
God, who is the Heavenly Father, gives good and perfect gifts to His sons and daughters. He gave us Eternal Life. He gave us His Word. Best gifts but He does not stop there. He gives us an abudance of good and perfect gifts designed and individual perfect for our designer purposes and journeys...