Being a good stewart of the Gifts God has designed and given to you means taking what you have and realize it is a gift. I have a job. It is not what I want to do when I grow up. It is not what I love to do, but it is a job that has helped me come outside my box and engage others. It also allows me to help others with their jobs. I don't mind copying or mailing or organizing. It is rather fun and makes me feel good that I can help others. I am not good with talking but my job requires to speak. This job has stretched me. This reception job is a good gift and I must be a good stewart of my job. It is not about what I don't have like my own craft shop or writing project even though I also believe that my art is a gift as well. So I must continue to be a good stewart of my painting and my writing. It is not about focusing on what I don't have or what I have not achieved. That is discouraging and not being a good stewart...
What is in your life? Isn't it a good gift? Are you a good stewart of these gifts? How do you be a good stewart?
good gifts? family, pets, your passion, job, health, home, money, college friends, your crafts .....
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
love my Barbaro ...
I had watched Barbaro win his Kentucky Derby and then I was watching Saturday late afternoon for the Preakness as Barbaro was frisky before the race. Then the race starts with Barbaro fracturing his rear right leg. It seemed so odd to me (a novice horse race watcher) that a horse could break his leg while beginning to run. Looking back at how he acted before the race, I wondered if his frisky was more of knowing something. Maybe he knew his leg wasn’t up for it. Maybe he sensed this energy inside but not knowing for sure what it was. Or maybe he just was ready to get the race over already. I had felt and still lean towards Barbaro knowing that his leg wasn’t up for it. But that is my sensitive side wishing that we could back in time.
I am very sad and upset that Barbaro just couldn’t make it through and win this fight for his life. I understand that it is best to put a horse down. It is a part of nature.
What I loved about Barbaro was his fighting spirit. All through this he was upbeat and maybe the word should be frisky. It seemed he hungered for life and for the run. He interacted so will with his rider and then with his doctors. I applaud this animal to human connection.
Call me crazy but I am a firm believer about the language spoken between pet and owner. I have two darling puppers who I feel very aware of their speech and their delight. It is hard for me to let go…
Dear Gentle Shepherd and Creator of all living – animals included,
Thank You for the connections humans have with animals. Thank You for their drive and their dreams. Barbaro taught us to keep up the fight. Live life fully. Go for it. I hate to say good bye. The world needs a good Barbaro. Watching his progress, there where a lot of us cheering him on to winning this battle. The lesson is still there. Again Thank You for horses and for dreams that can run wildly to the finish line. I long to hear … ‘Well, done Barbaro’.
~ always a little crazy
I am very sad and upset that Barbaro just couldn’t make it through and win this fight for his life. I understand that it is best to put a horse down. It is a part of nature.
What I loved about Barbaro was his fighting spirit. All through this he was upbeat and maybe the word should be frisky. It seemed he hungered for life and for the run. He interacted so will with his rider and then with his doctors. I applaud this animal to human connection.
Call me crazy but I am a firm believer about the language spoken between pet and owner. I have two darling puppers who I feel very aware of their speech and their delight. It is hard for me to let go…
Dear Gentle Shepherd and Creator of all living – animals included,
Thank You for the connections humans have with animals. Thank You for their drive and their dreams. Barbaro taught us to keep up the fight. Live life fully. Go for it. I hate to say good bye. The world needs a good Barbaro. Watching his progress, there where a lot of us cheering him on to winning this battle. The lesson is still there. Again Thank You for horses and for dreams that can run wildly to the finish line. I long to hear … ‘Well, done Barbaro’.
~ always a little crazy
fire patches ...
I love winter sunsets and sunrises. The powder blue clouds are the main staple with brilliant splashes of fire burned into the edges of these clouds and into the patch of sky where the sun is rising and shining from her previous day duties.
My morning compute was snowy roads that was a crisp 5* F. The branches of trees had an inch of snow covering them making it a beautiful frozen wonderland. My starving eyes ate up the view. I was getting pretty mucked out with all the rain and mud.
My morning compute was snowy roads that was a crisp 5* F. The branches of trees had an inch of snow covering them making it a beautiful frozen wonderland. My starving eyes ate up the view. I was getting pretty mucked out with all the rain and mud.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
snow perfection...
The promise of lake effect snow has been pretty lame this year. We were to get some heavy lake effect last night. It started about 3PM and it is still snowing this fine persistant snow! It is sooooo beautiful to watch. You open all your blinds to open up your world to a winter wonderland captured like in those snowglobes! At night time you turn down the lights or just use candles or if lucky your fireplace. Then cuddle up under blankets sipping hot honey and lemon water and listen to soft music. I call this perfection of winter. Now for those who enjoy getting out in it, I say still perfect. Everything is clean and white. Good tires just eat right into the snow and you can make your destination. If you are childlike, it is calling you to come out and make snowangels. I don't think you can make good snowballs for those snowfights. MMM, I think this weather calls for a good bundle up and a walk especially with a loved one. If no loved one handy, it makes a good walk and talk with your Heavenly Creator and Maker!
one blue, one brown...
I saw for the first time yesterday a man who had one blue eye and one brown. His eyes weren't the wide open type and later I asked my parents if they noticed his eyes, they hadn't. Both eyes were light, one a light blue and one a light brown. There were no smile inside those orbs. He was talking to my father and I was in listening mode with great visuals of his eyes. But him being a stranger I couldn't ask about his eyes. I had heard about people with two different color of eyes and my father said that he knew of a guy with violet colored eyes. Now mind you that was before colored contacts! Oh, I wish my parents could have caught this stranger's eyes so I could know for sure that my mind eyes weren't playing tricks!
Saturday, January 27, 2007
heritage...
I went to the double furenral of my Grandpa's brothers. Roy H was 89 and passed 11ish PM on Monday. Elmer H was 92 and passed 10ish PM on Tuesday. Yes, they were close in there quiet way all their lives. Roy was a 'blue baby' and his heart was damaged. Roy never married and lived close or with Elmer all his life. They were the middle brothers.
I wanted to go to collect in my visual library and in my thoughts my history and my heritage. It is kind of like collecting the dots. There were black and white pictures of my Great Grandparents, Anna and Amos (I never met). Dad pointed out the fancy attire in there wedding picture and compared it to the plain attire at their 50th Anniversary photo. We wondered when this might have happened. They were of Mennonite faith and the clothes are plain. Their wedding picture reminded me of days depicted in Laura Ingals Wilder books. She wore the long skirt and the nice frilly white long sleeved top. He wore a dark suit with a tie. The Anniversary photo had him in a plain suit and her in a plain dress typical of what the Mennonites use to wear. In another picture I could pick out Great Grandpa Amos because he looked exactly like my Grandpa but with white hair. In another photo there is this big white house with some people that look like the time era of the civil war. Dad has another photo of that house but he isn't sure who the people are or the time era. He thinks the woman sitting is his Great Grandma. Then there is another photo of with the Silver Beach lighthouse in the background. Why do I tell you this? Just interesting because in my Grandmother H's photos there is one with the backdrop of the Silver Beach lighthouse. I find it cool to think that a place I visited was visited by my past family. Makes me wonder what they were feeling and thinking.
I also got to collect some memories of Elmer and especially of Roy from their families and friends. My Grandpa was a verrrrrrry quiet man and so where his brothers. Walter, the youngest, probably was the vocal out of all of them. Roy intrigued me today because he was a loner and never married. His friend would get calls from nursing home saying that Roy isn't coming the game night. His friend would say 'that isn't his thing. He has his own projects and is busy. He is a loner and that is alright.' (Hmmm! You know what? That is encouraging. I know that I need people and I have finally learned how to engage them but so often I still end up feeling alone. Often, I find that I don't want to follow the crowd. I would rather enjoy someone without the chaos of the group.) In the final years both Elmer and Roy where in the same nursing homes. Elmer would visit Roy when Roy couldn't get around and Roy would visit Elmer when Elmer couldn't get around. If you would see them visit you woud find them just there. Very little words spoken if any. Roy was hard of hearing and Elmer could hardly speak. It was just PRESENCE! Isn't that something? Just enjoying each other's presence. Elmer had already thought Roy had died when they took him to the hospital. Elmer had looked out for his brother all his life. They were the last two of the family. Elmer knew it was time. He was going HOME right behind his brother Roy.
One other thing about Roy... his way of Bible Study was like mining words. He would go through the Bible and count up how many times a word was repeated. He did it on scraps of paper but oh, if you could have bound that up in a notebook! I would have loved to have gone through it! Maybe along my journey I can try that...
There was one thing that I thought was interesting and I want to do for my own funeral. There was a reading of the obituaries. Dad said that the Mennonite faith does not believe in eulogies so they do obits instead. I like the reading of the obits because if you are not close to the family you can get a bigger picture of their history. Plus, each person is a book or a story and this fills in the blanks so to speak. I want to write one for myself to remind myself Who my Author is and the dream seeds He placed in my heart. It would be a way to give back to God and for me to keep growing in His plan for me...
I wanted to go to collect in my visual library and in my thoughts my history and my heritage. It is kind of like collecting the dots. There were black and white pictures of my Great Grandparents, Anna and Amos (I never met). Dad pointed out the fancy attire in there wedding picture and compared it to the plain attire at their 50th Anniversary photo. We wondered when this might have happened. They were of Mennonite faith and the clothes are plain. Their wedding picture reminded me of days depicted in Laura Ingals Wilder books. She wore the long skirt and the nice frilly white long sleeved top. He wore a dark suit with a tie. The Anniversary photo had him in a plain suit and her in a plain dress typical of what the Mennonites use to wear. In another picture I could pick out Great Grandpa Amos because he looked exactly like my Grandpa but with white hair. In another photo there is this big white house with some people that look like the time era of the civil war. Dad has another photo of that house but he isn't sure who the people are or the time era. He thinks the woman sitting is his Great Grandma. Then there is another photo of with the Silver Beach lighthouse in the background. Why do I tell you this? Just interesting because in my Grandmother H's photos there is one with the backdrop of the Silver Beach lighthouse. I find it cool to think that a place I visited was visited by my past family. Makes me wonder what they were feeling and thinking.
I also got to collect some memories of Elmer and especially of Roy from their families and friends. My Grandpa was a verrrrrrry quiet man and so where his brothers. Walter, the youngest, probably was the vocal out of all of them. Roy intrigued me today because he was a loner and never married. His friend would get calls from nursing home saying that Roy isn't coming the game night. His friend would say 'that isn't his thing. He has his own projects and is busy. He is a loner and that is alright.' (Hmmm! You know what? That is encouraging. I know that I need people and I have finally learned how to engage them but so often I still end up feeling alone. Often, I find that I don't want to follow the crowd. I would rather enjoy someone without the chaos of the group.) In the final years both Elmer and Roy where in the same nursing homes. Elmer would visit Roy when Roy couldn't get around and Roy would visit Elmer when Elmer couldn't get around. If you would see them visit you woud find them just there. Very little words spoken if any. Roy was hard of hearing and Elmer could hardly speak. It was just PRESENCE! Isn't that something? Just enjoying each other's presence. Elmer had already thought Roy had died when they took him to the hospital. Elmer had looked out for his brother all his life. They were the last two of the family. Elmer knew it was time. He was going HOME right behind his brother Roy.
One other thing about Roy... his way of Bible Study was like mining words. He would go through the Bible and count up how many times a word was repeated. He did it on scraps of paper but oh, if you could have bound that up in a notebook! I would have loved to have gone through it! Maybe along my journey I can try that...
There was one thing that I thought was interesting and I want to do for my own funeral. There was a reading of the obituaries. Dad said that the Mennonite faith does not believe in eulogies so they do obits instead. I like the reading of the obits because if you are not close to the family you can get a bigger picture of their history. Plus, each person is a book or a story and this fills in the blanks so to speak. I want to write one for myself to remind myself Who my Author is and the dream seeds He placed in my heart. It would be a way to give back to God and for me to keep growing in His plan for me...
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
most exciting...
'You're no fun! That is the most exciting part of any movie!' Well yeah, I guess if you want to have metal-rubbing-against-metal-when-it-comes-to-your-breaks kind of adventure! I know I am pretty sensitive to noise but honest ... THERE WAS NO NOISE COMING FROM MY BRAKES! I did not know! I took my baby in because of a pink leak I noticed not because of worn out brakes and a busted boot thing. Then add onto that a leak in the back besides the pink leak. Pink leak has something to do with the steering rack and the pink liquid is filling up the hoods and then leaking onto the ground. COME ON! GIVE ME A BREAK! MY JEEP IS ONLY 4 1/2 YEARS OLD! Just taking care of the breaks is $525.77 to do the whole thing goes up to $1650.
No, I wasn't taken for a ride since I am a girl. The service guy is a real advocate and checks out what the grease guys are saying. They cleaned it out and put a dye in there to really see what is leaking before a fix up and a bleeding hole in my money pocket. So yesturday was sort of a bust. I came home and did a bit of housekeep the rest of the day with some movie flick soundtracks that rocked out. Then I put on my BBN.
I know God will take care of this even though nothing was under warranty liked I had hoped. Last year I had several major purchases but this one tops any of those. Yikes. I hope this is the last for this year.
No, I wasn't taken for a ride since I am a girl. The service guy is a real advocate and checks out what the grease guys are saying. They cleaned it out and put a dye in there to really see what is leaking before a fix up and a bleeding hole in my money pocket. So yesturday was sort of a bust. I came home and did a bit of housekeep the rest of the day with some movie flick soundtracks that rocked out. Then I put on my BBN.
I know God will take care of this even though nothing was under warranty liked I had hoped. Last year I had several major purchases but this one tops any of those. Yikes. I hope this is the last for this year.
Monday, January 22, 2007
God-possible ...
Indiana Colts head coach Tony Dungy said something that nudged me and I had to say 'AMEN'!!! This game they just won was a hard battle. Those Patriots were not going to give. I didn't want to watch. You did not even hope until that final grab of the football by the Colts did you realize they were finally going to the SuperBowl.
I can't find the exact words Dungy used but he said to look at the game. It was 'impossible' to win but because they did come through it was 'of God'. It was possible because of God.
more about Dungy
I can't find the exact words Dungy used but he said to look at the game. It was 'impossible' to win but because they did come through it was 'of God'. It was possible because of God.
more about Dungy
majority in the wrong?
What if 71% of us are wrong? What if God picked this President because he did not waver no matter the heat or the cost? What if God is asking us to pay a high price and we are not willing? What happens to our credibility if we bicker and smear a plan that could work?
''The battle is the Lord's'' is what the warrior King David said when he was just a shephard boy going against the Giant Goliath. Who would have thought a small rock would land just right to knock down a mighty man? Exactly something so wildly far fetch can only be of God. Is not this time in history in God's hand? Isn't the Battle in God's Almighty Hand?
Why must I quake and tremble of these evil times? Why do I find it so hard to pray? I am so confused! Make me blind to man's vision .. only open my eyes to Yours. I know You have the 'King's heart'. Keep him strong of heart and of soul. So glad You Keep him... {sighs}
''The battle is the Lord's'' is what the warrior King David said when he was just a shephard boy going against the Giant Goliath. Who would have thought a small rock would land just right to knock down a mighty man? Exactly something so wildly far fetch can only be of God. Is not this time in history in God's hand? Isn't the Battle in God's Almighty Hand?
Why must I quake and tremble of these evil times? Why do I find it so hard to pray? I am so confused! Make me blind to man's vision .. only open my eyes to Yours. I know You have the 'King's heart'. Keep him strong of heart and of soul. So glad You Keep him... {sighs}
Saturday, January 20, 2007
sharing tidbits with ...
Something I have realized over the years and thought I should put a voice to it is when you love or care deeply for someone, you want to share. As I go about my days and my nights, I find something I like or think important and then relate it to a loved or cherished one in my life that I want to share this wonderful bit of yummy tidbit. Oh, and I don't limit it just to my sames, if someone likes something a bit different and I find info, I pass it on. It is a joy to see them light up because you thought of them.
Memories have flooded me these past weeks. Will they always seem to swirl in my mind. I miss someone and have missed for a long time. I miss our deep and light talks. sighs This morning in the warm shower the thought that being able to share is a gooooood thing. It shows you are alive and engaging. Your eyes are on and focused. You are ready to grab life and soak it in... to share a smile... but then again when you miss someone... sharing doesn't seem so good...
In my work life a chapter has ended and a new chapter begins on Monday. A colleague (a writer & film director in waiting) last day was yesturday. We talked writing, movies, health, politics, God, Bible etc. I gave him a card to express how much he had encouraged my life. Our words faltered even when we love them so much. No worries. I know we both know what we had meant to each other and that it is only a chapter ending ... there is no period. I could tell this from him as he said that emails might be sparse but it is there. He needs to change things up. He feels good about his new job though not in the writing field. I cheered his dreams on as he did with mine.
But Monday morning when I found a tidbit from my weekend I cannot share, he won't be there. I hate that. God brings people in our lives. I try to focus on why they are in my life. So when they go, mystery steals in like fog. As God puts you into people's lives to share you with them, so God puts people in your life for them to share themselves with you... hmmm, now that is a wow thought ...!!!
Memories have flooded me these past weeks. Will they always seem to swirl in my mind. I miss someone and have missed for a long time. I miss our deep and light talks. sighs This morning in the warm shower the thought that being able to share is a gooooood thing. It shows you are alive and engaging. Your eyes are on and focused. You are ready to grab life and soak it in... to share a smile... but then again when you miss someone... sharing doesn't seem so good...
In my work life a chapter has ended and a new chapter begins on Monday. A colleague (a writer & film director in waiting) last day was yesturday. We talked writing, movies, health, politics, God, Bible etc. I gave him a card to express how much he had encouraged my life. Our words faltered even when we love them so much. No worries. I know we both know what we had meant to each other and that it is only a chapter ending ... there is no period. I could tell this from him as he said that emails might be sparse but it is there. He needs to change things up. He feels good about his new job though not in the writing field. I cheered his dreams on as he did with mine.
But Monday morning when I found a tidbit from my weekend I cannot share, he won't be there. I hate that. God brings people in our lives. I try to focus on why they are in my life. So when they go, mystery steals in like fog. As God puts you into people's lives to share you with them, so God puts people in your life for them to share themselves with you... hmmm, now that is a wow thought ...!!!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Babycakes NYC!!!
I have been feeling that need for sweets like that yummy oatmeal coffee cake or that upside down pineapple cake that was sitting down in the break room today. I take a bite but to dive in and truly eat a whole square with some hot blueberry tea would be divine especially when winter has finally taken whole with chilly temps. My attempts at my favorite past time (baking) has not turned out the best. I do have a a couple of recipes but not really sweet ones. Great news though... I might find myself baking again... maybe....
I heard about a bakery in NYC called 'Babycakes' that specializes in baked goods that are SUGAR free. Now hear me on this ... they do not use any artifical types of sugar either {yes!!}! Ok, besides sugar free, they are gluton free, WHEAT free, and vegan. I am happy happy beside myself. She did two of her recipies on Martha.
The only grains I can use is barley and oats. But today I was inroduced to garbanzo and fava flour and some other techniques she uses to make the baked good rise. I knew about the agave nectar just that I can't find it in the regular grocery store. I probably won't find that garbanzo and fava bean flour but I know I can buy that on line at www.bobsredmill.com.
So if you find yourself allergic to sugar but in the need for sweets and in New York City, check out BABYCAKES NYC.
Babycakes NYC
248 Broome Street
(Btwn Orchard & Ludlow)
New York City, NY 10002
Telephone 212.677.5047
Tuesday-Thursday: 10am-10pm
Friday-Saturday: 10am-11pm
Sunday: 10am-8pm
Monday: Closed
Looks just darling!
If you can't visit, you can check out the menu and have it mailed!!!
Martha told her she should write a cookbook! I would buy!!!
I heard about a bakery in NYC called 'Babycakes' that specializes in baked goods that are SUGAR free. Now hear me on this ... they do not use any artifical types of sugar either {yes!!}! Ok, besides sugar free, they are gluton free, WHEAT free, and vegan. I am happy happy beside myself. She did two of her recipies on Martha.
The only grains I can use is barley and oats. But today I was inroduced to garbanzo and fava flour and some other techniques she uses to make the baked good rise. I knew about the agave nectar just that I can't find it in the regular grocery store. I probably won't find that garbanzo and fava bean flour but I know I can buy that on line at www.bobsredmill.com.
So if you find yourself allergic to sugar but in the need for sweets and in New York City, check out BABYCAKES NYC.
Babycakes NYC
248 Broome Street
(Btwn Orchard & Ludlow)
New York City, NY 10002
Telephone 212.677.5047
Tuesday-Thursday: 10am-10pm
Friday-Saturday: 10am-11pm
Sunday: 10am-8pm
Monday: Closed
Looks just darling!
If you can't visit, you can check out the menu and have it mailed!!!
Martha told her she should write a cookbook! I would buy!!!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
the heavens declare His Glory ...
My morning drive begun in the hour of blue. The sun can't be seen but her shine was peeking out. As I head east straight into the sunrise, I saw ahead the mountains! Beautiful pale blue clouds carved out against the pale yellow. It feels like I will be headed for the dip and then headed up the rise. On either side of the road are inky black tree trucks holding up in their branches encrusted with glittering diamonds like waiters with huge platters. I am in awe of the beauty! I could not get enough!
After my appointment I was able to take my scenic route to work. Love this country side in the morning! Fury huge work horses eating breakfast and nuzzling tug at my heart. The pale yellow chased the blue away but oh how the encrusted diamonds shone! Then the moment passed ...
You, oh Majestic Lord,
How You paint and carve out each new day just for my enjoyment. Thank You for Riches that make my words so feeble in awe. I am so glad you can read my heart. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Huge Hugggggers!
~ always your speechless little girl
After my appointment I was able to take my scenic route to work. Love this country side in the morning! Fury huge work horses eating breakfast and nuzzling tug at my heart. The pale yellow chased the blue away but oh how the encrusted diamonds shone! Then the moment passed ...
You, oh Majestic Lord,
How You paint and carve out each new day just for my enjoyment. Thank You for Riches that make my words so feeble in awe. I am so glad you can read my heart. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Huge Hugggggers!
~ always your speechless little girl
to speak or not to speak ...
In church you know you need to be quiet to hear God's Whisper. When someone is sharing their pain and hurt, you know you need to be quiet and listen. When you are walking by loud construction, you know you won't be heard so why talk. So why is it that when you are in the dentist chair with his hands and tools in your mouth, do they ask you a question expecting an answer? Or how about at the chiropractor when he is using the Pro-Adjuster which is loud punching noices, expects you to talk when that thing he is using is loud. Add to that he is wearing ear plugs!
I cannot talk when there is a ton of noise. In reality I just cannot think! So why speak? =)
I cannot talk when there is a ton of noise. In reality I just cannot think! So why speak? =)
Monday, January 15, 2007
resourceful believer's pack ...
I live where I have 3 Christian radio stations to listen to but I would not listen. They did not fill the void I had. This past summer another Christian radio station became the fourth! I fell in love immediately. I now have my Hymns! no commercials either! Nothing soothes my heart like the Hymns. Plus, it is an international language of believers like the story Ravi told:
A man was walking down the street and he heard someone hum a hymn. He started to speak to this believer and found he could not because they spoke different languages. But they hummed together and smile giving each other hugs. What power!
BBN has actual radio stations all over the Americas (North, Central, & South) but they do not have radio stations else where. However, you can listen online. They broadcast in the following languages: English, Espanol, Portuguese, German, Russian, Chinese Simplified, Chinese Traditional, Japanese, & Korean.
Another great resource is using iTunes and signing up for podcasts. I am in the process of downing loading my favorite speakers which I will often write about here like Charles Swindoll, Ravi Zacheriah, Joel Osteen, Stephen Davey etc. They are free and you don't have have an ipod. You can listen right from your computer. You can even get a podcast of the Spoken Word. I will have to check it out some more!
BBN also has a Bible Institute where you can take Bible courses in English or Chinese Simplified/Traditional.
A man was walking down the street and he heard someone hum a hymn. He started to speak to this believer and found he could not because they spoke different languages. But they hummed together and smile giving each other hugs. What power!
BBN has actual radio stations all over the Americas (North, Central, & South) but they do not have radio stations else where. However, you can listen online. They broadcast in the following languages: English, Espanol, Portuguese, German, Russian, Chinese Simplified, Chinese Traditional, Japanese, & Korean.
Another great resource is using iTunes and signing up for podcasts. I am in the process of downing loading my favorite speakers which I will often write about here like Charles Swindoll, Ravi Zacheriah, Joel Osteen, Stephen Davey etc. They are free and you don't have have an ipod. You can listen right from your computer. You can even get a podcast of the Spoken Word. I will have to check it out some more!
BBN also has a Bible Institute where you can take Bible courses in English or Chinese Simplified/Traditional.
criteria for love ...
Sunday discussion from little bro was about how he is one who has a certain criteria for love and if you do not love according to his ‘way’ then you are promptly written off. I guess they were discussing this in one of counseling or psychology classes. He went on to say that they have ‘couple friendship’ started by a fellow classmate who is alike when it comes to having a criteria for love. Little bro and his wife do not take people seriously on the ‘oh, lets get together and do stuff’. Most never get back to them. Well, this other couple has totally surprised them by following through.
Back to the having ‘certain criteria for love and being written off if you don’t follow the list’ –
This stuck me. I probably … well … most likely … ok honesty here … I am the same way. I should have asked if the ‘teacher or the class’ felt it was wrong. Maybe I don’t want an answer because I happen to have strong feelings about it.
I have been ‘fixing’ myself for so long that I don’t want anyone else doing so. No, I am not bull headed about it. I listen and I am soft towards my need to change. I, however, am quite leery of adding more fat to my fat suit. I, too, am a fighter and it is very hard to keep the hands off the wheel when I am trying to right myself. I give all I can and if you choose to not need me, I won’t be where I am not wanted. And if you can’t give what I need, I have been painfully learning to be more carefree in my love. So there is a bit of my criteria for love.
About promptly being written off-
This is not taken lightly! There is pain and anguish in what I have done wrong and what to do about it. After hurting so much, you just pick yourself and dust off and give in to letting go. When you do, the release is so great it feels right. You realize it is better to be more carefree when it comes to love. Never expect love to come your way but you sure better give it.
The Life Journey is so designed by God that I trust it more than I do from human opinions..
Back to the having ‘certain criteria for love and being written off if you don’t follow the list’ –
This stuck me. I probably … well … most likely … ok honesty here … I am the same way. I should have asked if the ‘teacher or the class’ felt it was wrong. Maybe I don’t want an answer because I happen to have strong feelings about it.
I have been ‘fixing’ myself for so long that I don’t want anyone else doing so. No, I am not bull headed about it. I listen and I am soft towards my need to change. I, however, am quite leery of adding more fat to my fat suit. I, too, am a fighter and it is very hard to keep the hands off the wheel when I am trying to right myself. I give all I can and if you choose to not need me, I won’t be where I am not wanted. And if you can’t give what I need, I have been painfully learning to be more carefree in my love. So there is a bit of my criteria for love.
About promptly being written off-
This is not taken lightly! There is pain and anguish in what I have done wrong and what to do about it. After hurting so much, you just pick yourself and dust off and give in to letting go. When you do, the release is so great it feels right. You realize it is better to be more carefree when it comes to love. Never expect love to come your way but you sure better give it.
The Life Journey is so designed by God that I trust it more than I do from human opinions..
Sunday, January 14, 2007
people you serve ...
'In this life you are measured by the amount of people who serve you.
In the next you will be measured by the amount of people you serve.'
~ Ravi Zacheriah paraphrased
Ravi has been speaking about taming your passions and gifts .. always keep a true humility which means that you are dependent on God. False humility is self bashing.
As I prepare for 2007's theme, I am leaning on LOVE .. more about the 'service of love'. Ravi's thoughts are an added boost to this new year's path.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Joseph, model of letting God ...
I was sitting there doing my work listening to Steven Davey on the radio speak of Joseph and how he dealt with being in prison and with the betrayal of his brothers. Now Joseph is placed in Egypt taking care of the food provisions during the 7 years of famine that he predicted in the dream God had given the Egyptian king, when his brothers come to seek food. Joseph knew them straight away. They did not know this him as a clean shaved Egyptian dressed official. He never came out and told them off. He was in the position of power. He could have made their lives pay triple for the things they had done to him. Rather he chose to be very gracious in his dealings. I am sure those brothers felt very uncomfortable with this ‘stranger’ knowing ways like when Joseph invited them to eat. The seating arrangement was in the birth order. Oh, how they must have squirmed! There were several times Joseph had tears consume him where he had to excuse himself. When he finally revealed who he was, he hugged them in a bear hug and wept over them. What an act of forgiveness!!
I felt God tap me. I had someone very dear – like family dear – decide to rid himself of me. I have had many feelings – some of frustration, some of pain, yes, some anger. I often wonder how I would react if I could just capture his attention...
This past year I have grappled with my anger. Through it all I have learned more about myself. I know mentally what I need to do. I know in my heart how I do feel about him. I still like him. I don’t think there is anger. Sadness is still there. Wonderings are still there. A couple of weeks ago, I felt God say ‘keep an expectant heart’. No, not that he will come back but of the workings God has for my path. Looking at His nudges, sure there is always a possibility of him coming back into my life. So what will I do about it?
I want to act like Joseph. Like my prayers during our 3.75 years, I always acknowledged God’s hand in us. The time in my ‘aloneness prison’ has God’s hand in it. It isn’t about my lack of value in another’s life. It isn’t about rejection. Rather it is about God’s hand on satisfying my needs and yes, his needs too in His perfect time. I must act like Joseph. I must walk as if on hollowed ground because IT IS!!
Heavenly Father of Joseph,
I again am awed by how Your master plan is working the best when all seems lost on our human level. Oh, how devalued (plutoed) Joseph must have felt when his own flesh and blood tore his coat and sold him as a slave! Oh, how Joseph must have felt when he chose to flee the boss’s wife and her advancements only to end up in prison. Oh, how Joseph must have felt when he asked his prison mates to remember him when they were freed after interpreting their dreams. All of these ‘dead ends’ was the act of You setting into motion a way to care for Your chosen people. Joseph was the keeper of Your Master Plan. To even grasp that honor, just blows me away!
I want to keep this forefront. ‘You are before all things’ even at human level dead ends. ‘And in You all things HOLD together.’ (col 1:17) When everything is wrong and I can’t help but thing that it can’t get any worse, I want to remember You work best in these moments. My hope is in You ALONE. (Ps 62:1-2)
I want to be a Joseph when I need to forgive. I need Your help as I figure out my depths, my service, my rhythm and how I begin and maintain interactions with others. How does this fit in? I am expectant …. Thank You for Joseph. Thank You for my path and the mystery You placed there…
~ always Your child chosen
I felt God tap me. I had someone very dear – like family dear – decide to rid himself of me. I have had many feelings – some of frustration, some of pain, yes, some anger. I often wonder how I would react if I could just capture his attention...
This past year I have grappled with my anger. Through it all I have learned more about myself. I know mentally what I need to do. I know in my heart how I do feel about him. I still like him. I don’t think there is anger. Sadness is still there. Wonderings are still there. A couple of weeks ago, I felt God say ‘keep an expectant heart’. No, not that he will come back but of the workings God has for my path. Looking at His nudges, sure there is always a possibility of him coming back into my life. So what will I do about it?
I want to act like Joseph. Like my prayers during our 3.75 years, I always acknowledged God’s hand in us. The time in my ‘aloneness prison’ has God’s hand in it. It isn’t about my lack of value in another’s life. It isn’t about rejection. Rather it is about God’s hand on satisfying my needs and yes, his needs too in His perfect time. I must act like Joseph. I must walk as if on hollowed ground because IT IS!!
Heavenly Father of Joseph,
I again am awed by how Your master plan is working the best when all seems lost on our human level. Oh, how devalued (plutoed) Joseph must have felt when his own flesh and blood tore his coat and sold him as a slave! Oh, how Joseph must have felt when he chose to flee the boss’s wife and her advancements only to end up in prison. Oh, how Joseph must have felt when he asked his prison mates to remember him when they were freed after interpreting their dreams. All of these ‘dead ends’ was the act of You setting into motion a way to care for Your chosen people. Joseph was the keeper of Your Master Plan. To even grasp that honor, just blows me away!
I want to keep this forefront. ‘You are before all things’ even at human level dead ends. ‘And in You all things HOLD together.’ (col 1:17) When everything is wrong and I can’t help but thing that it can’t get any worse, I want to remember You work best in these moments. My hope is in You ALONE. (Ps 62:1-2)
I want to be a Joseph when I need to forgive. I need Your help as I figure out my depths, my service, my rhythm and how I begin and maintain interactions with others. How does this fit in? I am expectant …. Thank You for Joseph. Thank You for my path and the mystery You placed there…
~ always Your child chosen
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
plutoed (word of '06)
the WINNER is:
to pluto / be plutoed
~to demote or devalue someone or something,
as happened to the former planet Pluto
when the General Assembly of the International Astronomical Union
decided Pluto no longer met its definition of a planet.
Pluto-Related Words
DWARF PLANET: new International Astronomical Union designation for Pluto and other not- quite-planetary bodies in the solar system.
PLUTON: originally chosen by the General Assembly of the International Astronomical Union as a category for trans-Neptunian objects, like Pluto, that did not warrant designation as true planets. However, the term was already in use in geology to refer to a large mass of intrusive igneous rock believed to have solidified deep within the earth.
Another candidate name was PLUTONOID.
SMALL SOLOR SYSTEM BODY (SSSB): object in the solar system that is neither a planet nor a dwarf planet (e.g., a comet or small asteroid).
“Plutoed” Voted 2006 Word of the Year by American Dialect Society
Wow! This word really moved me. How often do we feel 'plutoed?' A ton. This year I think this is a good word. I think a lot of us seem small. Quite surprised that YouTube didn't get it. It is used more. '06 was the year of YOU. Hmm, quite interesting...
~to demote or devalue someone or something,
as happened to the former planet Pluto
when the General Assembly of the International Astronomical Union
decided Pluto no longer met its definition of a planet.
Pluto-Related Words
DWARF PLANET: new International Astronomical Union designation for Pluto and other not- quite-planetary bodies in the solar system.
PLUTON: originally chosen by the General Assembly of the International Astronomical Union as a category for trans-Neptunian objects, like Pluto, that did not warrant designation as true planets. However, the term was already in use in geology to refer to a large mass of intrusive igneous rock believed to have solidified deep within the earth.
Another candidate name was PLUTONOID.
SMALL SOLOR SYSTEM BODY (SSSB): object in the solar system that is neither a planet nor a dwarf planet (e.g., a comet or small asteroid).
“Plutoed” Voted 2006 Word of the Year by American Dialect Society
Wow! This word really moved me. How often do we feel 'plutoed?' A ton. This year I think this is a good word. I think a lot of us seem small. Quite surprised that YouTube didn't get it. It is used more. '06 was the year of YOU. Hmm, quite interesting...
Monday, January 08, 2007
heating on God's time ...
My little bro’s heating went out on Friday where they had called promptly to get it fixed. They had called a company that was referred by trusted friends. They waited all day Friday but no one showed up.
Little bro wasn’t happy and was relaying his concerns to us over Sunday lunch. They planned on calling first thing Monday morning.
Mom could hardly wait to see if they had gotten their heat back so after a couple hours gone by, she called. Here what happened was the guy knew he had forgotten something but didn’t realize until Monday morning that he had forgotten to check on little bro’s heat. He apologized profusely and after realizing that the problem should have been caught with routine maintenance, he did not charge them for his own mistake.
After hearing this again I was reminded that often our time is NOT God’s time. He loves us so much that within His time, nice gifts come our way like not having to fork out money for heating when worries of classes and a baby in waiting are weighing heavily on your financial path. Isn’t He an Awesome Father?
Little bro wasn’t happy and was relaying his concerns to us over Sunday lunch. They planned on calling first thing Monday morning.
Mom could hardly wait to see if they had gotten their heat back so after a couple hours gone by, she called. Here what happened was the guy knew he had forgotten something but didn’t realize until Monday morning that he had forgotten to check on little bro’s heat. He apologized profusely and after realizing that the problem should have been caught with routine maintenance, he did not charge them for his own mistake.
After hearing this again I was reminded that often our time is NOT God’s time. He loves us so much that within His time, nice gifts come our way like not having to fork out money for heating when worries of classes and a baby in waiting are weighing heavily on your financial path. Isn’t He an Awesome Father?
Saturday, January 06, 2007
I had planned to get my iMac all squared away and my blog updated today. My mood last night wasn't in a good placed but I had hoped with a night of sleep, I would be ready for a full day of nothing but apple stuff.
Well, wouldn't you know it! I woke to a foul mood. Getting an early wake up call from Mom had us going to our college town. It was in the works for today and I wanted to go to exchange the great sweatshirt I had gotten from my little bro for a smaller size.
The new bookstore is great. It has a fireplace and seating, a cafe, and pretty cool college gear. I made a mental note that we will have to get the new baby some college gear! I did get the sweatshirt exchanged but was a bit nerveous because I had no receipt (had tags tho!) You should have seen the M! I could have fit about 3 of me in it.
Well, nothing got done on my to do list. Opps, one thing got checked off and I must say this family outing put my mood straight.
Well, wouldn't you know it! I woke to a foul mood. Getting an early wake up call from Mom had us going to our college town. It was in the works for today and I wanted to go to exchange the great sweatshirt I had gotten from my little bro for a smaller size.
The new bookstore is great. It has a fireplace and seating, a cafe, and pretty cool college gear. I made a mental note that we will have to get the new baby some college gear! I did get the sweatshirt exchanged but was a bit nerveous because I had no receipt (had tags tho!) You should have seen the M! I could have fit about 3 of me in it.
Well, nothing got done on my to do list. Opps, one thing got checked off and I must say this family outing put my mood straight.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
widgets...
Wooohoooo!!! Love the Widgets, love the Dictionary, love the iCal, love the upgrades of the messengers. Much faster. More colorful. More, more, more to express! Safari works ok with my blog even though some things are missing. I did not like firefox but going to keep it on my system just in case. (bummer)
I have been so busy playing and trying to get everything updated and iSync I am feeling guilty because December has ended and I need to wrap up my thoughts for the month and the year. I have been making a list and checking it twice. Slowly but surely I will get caught up!!!
I have been so busy playing and trying to get everything updated and iSync I am feeling guilty because December has ended and I need to wrap up my thoughts for the month and the year. I have been making a list and checking it twice. Slowly but surely I will get caught up!!!
Monday, January 01, 2007
HK degree in memory ...
Suffering all weekend with a mental battle to why I couldn’t get that memory and Tigar installed on my iMac, I decided to once again try even with my food allergy headache clogging my thought process. I proved successful and can say I have a HK (hard knocks) degree when it comes to installing memory.
I hate to reveal this but I had gotten some memory some time ago. I installed it but the clips to hold at the notches on the memory just didn’t fit. For fear of breaking the memory bar or killing my iMac, I just let it go. There was no message that there was an increase of memory. Bummer.
But with my computer slowing down and knocking me off line because websites were becoming more advanced and to top it off, I was struggling with my favorite thing to do (blogging), it was a do or die situation. Plus, after being told that my machine could be upgraded and money invested, I was a horrible wreak.
So I tried again. I was putting the memory in straight and trying to push hard enough to get the clips to hold the notches. So this time I pushed the one side in and was able to get the clip to hold right at the notch! Could I hope for success? Then I pushed the other side in and what? Yes! I could clip the notch. Tipping the iMac back to his upright position, I was wiggling around with hope. Turning on and clicking system profile, I could hardly contain myself. YES!!!! The memory had taken hold. And when I put the Tigar upgrade everything worked beautifully. I am afraid of a long night tonight and I must go to work in the morning … grrrr
Thank You Heavenly Father,
For helping me even when I was throwing a temper. I am so sorry. I wish I could take these bumps more willing and with a soft grace. I needed these bumps because I needed to know more about my iMac. I needed to go to the library and find the books. I need to read up. I need the magic to work more efficiently and to make the iMac serve me instead of suffering because I was unwilling to risk.
Whew! These books are thick! There is a lot of stuff! I can’t wait to do new things. I am excited get past the beginnings and get to the writing. There is a new toy I can’t wait to explore. The Dictionary built right in? Excellent! No more running to get my favorite friends (dictionary & thesaurus).
You are All-Knowing and I must trust and lean into You more quickly. Thank You so much!!!
~ Your mac-crazed little girl
I hate to reveal this but I had gotten some memory some time ago. I installed it but the clips to hold at the notches on the memory just didn’t fit. For fear of breaking the memory bar or killing my iMac, I just let it go. There was no message that there was an increase of memory. Bummer.
But with my computer slowing down and knocking me off line because websites were becoming more advanced and to top it off, I was struggling with my favorite thing to do (blogging), it was a do or die situation. Plus, after being told that my machine could be upgraded and money invested, I was a horrible wreak.
So I tried again. I was putting the memory in straight and trying to push hard enough to get the clips to hold the notches. So this time I pushed the one side in and was able to get the clip to hold right at the notch! Could I hope for success? Then I pushed the other side in and what? Yes! I could clip the notch. Tipping the iMac back to his upright position, I was wiggling around with hope. Turning on and clicking system profile, I could hardly contain myself. YES!!!! The memory had taken hold. And when I put the Tigar upgrade everything worked beautifully. I am afraid of a long night tonight and I must go to work in the morning … grrrr
Thank You Heavenly Father,
For helping me even when I was throwing a temper. I am so sorry. I wish I could take these bumps more willing and with a soft grace. I needed these bumps because I needed to know more about my iMac. I needed to go to the library and find the books. I need to read up. I need the magic to work more efficiently and to make the iMac serve me instead of suffering because I was unwilling to risk.
Whew! These books are thick! There is a lot of stuff! I can’t wait to do new things. I am excited get past the beginnings and get to the writing. There is a new toy I can’t wait to explore. The Dictionary built right in? Excellent! No more running to get my favorite friends (dictionary & thesaurus).
You are All-Knowing and I must trust and lean into You more quickly. Thank You so much!!!
~ Your mac-crazed little girl
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