disappointment ...

"Mom, have guys disappointed you?" her daughter asked.

"Honestly... Yes, they have disappointed me." The mother had a distant look come over her eyes.

"Could you tell me your disappointments?" came the soft reply.

"Oh ... yes, I would love to share..... My first disappointment came from a younger and shorter highschool guy who at least had the strength to ask me out. I had to reject him because he just wasn't spiritually strong enough. After coming back from college I happen to run into him. I just felt kinda sad. He still seemed to have this lost look." Looking back over her journey this young man at least had choosen her. No, she would never had changed her decision .....

"My next disappointment came from a young man at church. He kept looking at me like he really wanted to say something to me. I had gotten all kinds of flack from my family for being so cold to this young man. But in my small quiet way I tried the best I knew at the time to at least try to be close to him ... Then he marries and I still felt his eyes on me. Not the distrubing kind of look ... just that he wanted to say something but never could." No, he would never be strong enough to handle her if he couldn't even talk to her. It is a man's job to prove his metal ... He must ride and capture his lady's heart or he isn't worth it.

"Then came the years of great disappointment. It was as though I was invisible. I had entered a void." She had spent many years fixing and changing herself with no progress. Eating up every detail on how to be a good wife ... to make a great marriage..... Self-help addict with no returns.....

"What is a really sad disappointment is men who have made commitments to another woman and feel that they can play with my emotions and my life. Some know it is wrong and yet they cannot seem to behave. Others just do not care." Anger twirled with sadness surged through her. Yet, this only made her stronger ....

"My child, my biggest Joy came from a Man who choose me. He called me Beautiful. He is the Almighty God and He will never disappoint you." A satisfied smile came over her face.

"But Mom, what about Dad? Did he disappoint you?" The innocent question was really a probe into the deep. Her daughter was searching...

"Ahhh, Dad.... did he disappoint? Well, he is human and he did break my heart. Many times I have wanted to shake him up a bit. I would always run straight the to Heavenly Father. We would talk it out. I love your Dad like crazy and even when I was in a mist and couldn't see, I knew my Heavenly Father was my Strong Tower. Now I can see how the dots connected." Oh, how she remembered many nights when she wailed out her pain and paced the floor wishing for more ... Oh, how God reminded her that He was all she needed....

"Mom, did you ever think of walking out on Dad?" She had her mother talking now there was no way she was going to let up. She always felt her parents marriage was strong .... and she was curious to how they made it ....

"Yes, it was in the very beginning. He didn't believe marriage was going to be kind to him. He had been burned. He would never admit it then ... but I knew that marriage could heal ... only if it was a true reflection of God. I felt in the heart that I was his match and he was mine. He would come and go.... then he disappeared .... I am a strong believer that I could not pursue. I cried and I had a fit ... but I told God he was his .... I couldn't believe I had it wrong this time .... but then again I never had a good record. I let go. It was ... a lonely goodbye ... " Tears pooled in her eyes. She thought he would never come back .... let alone realize that he lost a real love. God held her close to His beating Heart ... He had a lot of work to do .....

mommy bear: real vs fake