to have & to hold ... 50 year tribute!

June 18, 2016

Dearest Mom & Dad,

What an honor to have 50 great years of marriage with one another!  I am so proud of you!I have been blessed to experience 47 of those years.  I loved discovering your wedding day pictures.  Peering into those bright young faces ready to start this new adventure called marriage, I can’t help but think you made young love so beautiful.  Memories like photos come to mind.  It is varied with downs, sideways, & ups — all cherished & loved.

There are those leaking tents, laundry mat trips, compliments of well behaved kids, going to church, having a missionary in our home, making a Navaho hogan from popsicle sticks & ‘mud’, frozen pipes that burst, leaking trailer roof, skinned chins, skinned knees, broken arm, library trips, reading to & giving me the world of learning through books, family vacations, long car rides, bickering kids, all the wonderful cats & dogs we have adopted or in one case we were the ones adopted, teaching the art of riding a bike (bushes), afternoons at the pool, Dad’s flowers, pulling weeds in the garden, expecting a baby brother, buying a house (411 S Greene, our impossible dream - Jehovah Jireh), moving, teenage angst & silent sulking, band contests & trips, teaching the nuances of driving a car (bushes), leaving your child at college, gallbladder surgery, diverticulitis & surgery, support for buying house & being the movers, diabetes, not feeling good because of the heart value,  clean up after storm damage, & open heart surgery make a wonderful collage of memories that have made us a home.

There is a perfect picture in Psalms 1 of what your marriage has been for my brothers & me.  Your marriage is a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season & whose leaf does not wither.  One word — prosperous — for the Lord has watched over your marriage & home.  You have given us strong roots watered by the Living Waters of Salvation.  This is treasure stored in Heaven.  You have stood against the ways of the world & have instilled in us to love God & to enjoy Him forever.  This is the shade of soft breezes that you cast by standing tall & not withering under the heat.  The fruit of love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control has been given in full abundance in your home.  You gave us boundaries, teaching us that the thou shall nots was for our protection & the thou shalls was blessings.  Thank you, Mom & Dad, because of 50 years of wedded covenant together now I can be a sheltering tree to those who come my way.  You make vintage love more beautiful than young love!

‘too amazing for me … the way of a man with a woman’  proverb 30:18-19

one another ...

Part of a note I sent:

Worldly ways have infiltrated the Christian walk and we are so oblivious.    The world believes that people are a commodity to use, abuse, spend, and throw away. I can't do that to you. I am human and weak but I am going to trust and obey God in His "one anothers"

• love one another

• build up one another

• live in peace with one another

• confess your sins to one another

• speak to one another 

• admonish one another

• comfort one another

• pray for one another

• bear one another's burdens

I pledge with God's help to be there through thick and thin. I don't plan on throwing you away. I do plan on laying down what we got at Jesus' feet and with pride. I believe we have something profound and unique. Why else are we drawn to each other and able to feel connected. I can't wait to pull back the veil in Heaven to truly see how and why God brought us together. We are just seeds here. 

~~~~~~~~~

His note back:

I so loved the "one another" statements you wrote.

Had to do a quick little study... and found this:

• Joh_13:14  If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. 
• Joh_13:34  A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 
• Joh_13:35  By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. 
• Joh_15:12  This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. 
• Joh_15:17  These things I command you, that ye love one another. 
• Rom_12:5  So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. 
• Rom_12:10  Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; 
• Rom_12:16  Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. 
• Rom_13:8  Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. 
• Rom_14:13  Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way. 
• Rom_14:19  Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. 
• Rom_15:5  Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus: 
• Rom_15:7  Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God. 
• Rom_15:14  And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another. 
• Rom_16:16  Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you. 
• 1Co_11:33  Wherefore, my brethren, when ye come together to eat, tarry one for another. 
• 1Co_12:25  That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. 
• 1Co_16:20  All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss. 
• 2Co_13:12  Greet one another with an holy kiss. 
• Gal_5:13  For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
• Gal_6:2  Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. 
• Eph_4:2  With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; 
• Eph_4:25  Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. 
• Eph_4:32  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. 
• Eph_5:21  Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 
• Col_3:9  Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; 
• Col_3:13  Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 
• Col_3:16  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 
• 1Th_3:12  And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men, even as we do toward you: 
• 1Th_4:9  But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another. 
• 1Th_4:18  Wherefore comfort one another with these words. 
• 1Th_5:11  Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. 
• 1Ti_5:21  I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these thingswithout preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality.
• Heb_3:13  But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. 
• Heb_10:24  And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 
• Heb_10:25  Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
• Jas_5:16  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. 
• 1Pe_1:22  Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently: 
• 1Pe_3:8  Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: 
• 1Pe_4:9  Use hospitality one to another without grudging. 
• 1Pe_4:10  As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 
• 1Pe_5:5  Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. 
• 1Pe_5:14  Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity. Peace be with you all that are in Christ Jesus. Amen. 
• 1Jn_1:7  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. 
• 1Jn_3:11  For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. 
• 1Jn_3:23  And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. 
• 1Jn_4:7  Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 
• 1Jn_4:11  Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. 
• 1Jn_4:12  No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. 
• 2Jn_1:5  And now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one another. 

my 15,340 day ...

Dear Heavenly Father,
Of late I have been numbering my days along the lines of noting how in the most alone times of my life, I was not alone. Thank You, Heavenly Father for being there all along. During those elementary years I was learning to obey my parents but ultimately learning to love You. I can see You there smiling upon me as I stood on my faith. Even in those crazy teenage years where I would cry myself to sleep because I was so sad and wondering why You would even create me. What was Your purpose for me? You were listening so quietly but allowing me to discover the importance of valuing others. Then those those lousy self help twenty something years where I kept trying to fix myself, You were waiting to for me to stop and let you God-help me. Then in the thirties where I was choosing the wrong path and yet trying to hold onto You, You were waiting for me to choose You only. Each step of the way, You were there. Even today when I like to take off from work and indulge myself on all things fun, I couldn't and I was scared that it would be another blurring hassle filled day at work. You surprised me again and give me a quiet day where I could catch up. Just what I needed. Thank You that on a special day that was basically ordinary, You cared for me ever so deeply.

As this day has approached, I am more at peace with myself because I am more at peace with You. You gave me the Joy epiphany I so needed and now you are showing me that I do indeed have a very special love story all my own. It doesn't matter that I am single, I've got love! I cannot wait to flesh out Your Passion for me onto paper.

Thank You for Your Gift of Salvation and ultimately Your Presence. I rest most confidently upon You never leaving me nor forsaking me. I am truly blessed.

always Yours,
keeper

worldy vs Godly...

CC:
• A boss who pops off without censer and is a 'huffer'. Everything is a problem and a crisis.
• I gave notice that I might need watch my niece when her baby sister arrives. Due the 18th.
• boss is taking vacation from the 18th - 28th and my job has to done immediately and she is my cover. It cannot wait.
• boss huffed and puffed. Her commit was "let's hope baby comes early.
• I let her ruin my weekend. I do not like confrontation and it always ends badly on me.
• Pastor finished up his "conquered conflict" series Sunday night. I felt that God wanted me to do something to end this conflict quickly and Godly. But shouldn't I just cover in love and forget about it?
• I am a stuffer and I am quiet. I hate confronting or trying to talk to my boss because I don't want to end in tears or say something badly. If I did confront, I would have to do through my personality and no other.

• I used James 1 & 3:17 & 18 to ask for Wisdom.
*** do not doubt. Do not be tossed about by what the world does or deems right***
1. pure
2. peaceable
3. gentle
4. willing to yield
5. full of mercy
6. good fruit
7. without partiality or duplicity (hypocrisy or double standards

Boss,
I know we have a problem with our conflicting schedules. I felt it was the right thing to do to alert you on the possible but not definite need to take off to watch my niece when her baby sister is born. I was asked among others so I highly doubt I will be needed but I won't tell my brother no. I am responsible and extremely aware that my job is timely and must be immediate. I am always thinking things through when I ask off so as not to be a burden or as little burden as possible. I feel that is only right to play fair. If I am asked to take care of my niece, I am sure that I can come in the afternoon to take care of production. I really feel there will be nothing to stress or worry about. Things will work out for family as well as work.

I asked off for Tuesday but will have to change that unfortunately to Thursday because of a funeral I need to attend.

My intention for this note is to be respectful to my family as well as my job and to bring down the stress level.

keeper

results:
She came into my office holding the vacation request and the note I attached and proceeded in a civil tone that I would be training a back up for the next two days and then left my office. I was ok with that and a bit surprised that she didn't bring up my note even though it was in plain sight in her hands. She did spout off to the employee who will cover for me that I couldn't take off because she would be in meetings but took it back.

interesting find:
As I was going through my note with a fine tooth comb, different scenarios came to play and also different reactions that might be said. I began to realize that the world's ways are so saturated all around me. I really had to be on point not to react in a worldly way but also not back down on my position of peaceable respect that God desires. Even Christians will critique you through worldly eyes without even realizing it. Always err on the right side! Keep asking 'is this worldly advise or Godly Wisdom'? Have a tough stance on this. I think you will be blown away how easy you are duped!

I am by no means saying that what I did was right. I still wonder but then I go back to 'no doubts'.... there was no major blood shed, no raised voices, no harboring ill will.... it seemed to work...

James 1: 5-8
But if any of you lacketh wisdom, let him ask of God,
who giveth to all liberally and upbraideth not;
and it shall be given him.
But let him ask in faith, nothing doubting:
for he that doubteth is like the surge of the sea driven by the wind and tossed.
For let not that man think that he shall receive anything of the Lord;
a doubleminded man, unstable in all his ways.

James 3:17-18
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure,
then peaceable, gentle, easy to be entreated,
full of mercy and good fruits, without variance, without hypocrisy.
And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace for them that make peace.

side note:
I do have a very challenging boss but she is human and will get frustrated to tears. She is a grandma and like all grandmas likes to talk about her grandchildren. She takes on a tough job that no one else likes to do and is very dedicated to it. She has been at this job for way too many years to count. She gets mad and panicky when her job is threatened just like all of us. I know I could not have put up with this kind of job for that long. That is my honor list for her and I need to say it when there are 'grumblings' about... I must respect her and this is my most exacting part of my job...

fill the loss ...

She has lost both of her parents to aids. Her care giver also died and they keep saying that she isn't handling it well. Of course they are always telling me that she is super quiet. Well, I choose her because of her sad eyes and I know all about quiet. It is not something you fix. It is personality and we quiet ones have a lot to give in a deep sturdy steady kind of way. However, her correspondence doesn't match a seventeen year old and it is basically the same thing over and over. I highly doubt she even knows my name.

No matter what, I hold onto the quiet troubled soul and wrap her in prayer. I worry that she won't get what I am trying to say so I tell God to rewrite as it takes flight.

My life is vastly different than hers and I can only draw from my experiences to get down into her shoes.

Dear E,

We had a real cold winter with a lot of snow. The cold and flu season is hitting us hard. As I begin writing this letter to you, I don't feel well. All I want to do is sit in blankets and daydream.

Have you ever daydreamed about people coming into your life to stay awhile - to stay forever but they do not?

I have had two daydreams like that. One in my childhood and one in my adult life. As a child I wanted a best friend. I was a lonely child and found books as good friends since girlfriends would come and go. I struggled to find someone who had my back. They only would hurt me and then leave me.

As an adult I wanted a husband. I thought I found one. We had long talks. We had felt like two misfits but in finding each other, we were no longer misfits. However, he vanished and I didn't know why. This loss left me devastated and crushed. I was a mess. It took six years and on some days still counting to get over this loss.

Loss is uniquely painful and devastating. Your story will differ from mine but loss is loss. You walk around wounded. No one seems to care. Everything is left up to you and it is a wearisome burden.

Because it it was all up to me and I wasn't handling it well, I unclenched my heart and gave the loss to my Heavenly Father who promised never to leave me nor forsake me. I let God fill in all the loss with Himself. I gave my festering wounds to Jesus Christ who was wounded and pierced for all my sins. He is Healer of wounds. I still have scars and at times they ache a little but they are proof of healing. The precious and mind-blowing thought is that Jesus Christ still bears the scars on His hands, feet and His side from this wounds from my sin.

It takes time to heal but I have abundant joy and when I feel the loss come on, I talk back God's Word. It is about not letting the evil one tear you down.

Have you dreamed of people staying awhile in your life and they have let you down? Are you crushed? Will you keep your heart shut up tight or will you let go and let God carry the burden? Hard choices but you will find peace.

Often when I feel the old ache coming on and then I get busy thanking God for never leaving nor forsaking me. When I have fallen asleep, the tears are not hot nor angry. Rather the tears are of great joy. I want this for you. You are precious in my eyes but more importantly you are precious in God's eyes.

As I am finishing up this letter, I am getting over my nasty cold and feeling much better.

E, keep reading God's Word. Keep seeking Him! He will meet you there.

Always,
keeper

Psalms 62:1&2
My soul finds rest in God alone;
my Salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my Salvation;
He is my Fortress, I will never be shaken.

Deuteronomy 31:1
The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you;
He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

for God so loved you ...

Dear Niece,

Guess what my dear? I have begun to read your Twilight books with the last one to go. Oh, there is a lot to chatter about!!

I get it. There is an intrigue. Something that grabs you & holds you. It has got to be the love Bella intensely feels. It is young & dangerous. It is old & wise. It is protective & fierce. It is also very illusive in human form.

I have been on the search of love. Sure, there is no ring on the finger or signatures on a contract but I have found love. It is God-Love. It is Joy. It is peace. It is comfort. It is dangerous. It is wise. It is protective. It is fierce. It is transcendent. It allows you to sing over the storms. It is hearing God singing songs of deliverance over you. It is a mysterious adventure. You must hang on!

Holding the Almighty's Hand allows your heart to overflow with God-Love. This love floats around your family & friends like a cool spring breeze fragrant with new floral scent. This love radiates from your eyes & your smile that strangers & acquaintances are surprisingly happy to catch. This love allows you to love the man of your dreams even when your prince charming is a bit froggy!

I have a book for you! The author has saturated her writings from God's Love Letter, the Bible. "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J Roberts is very intimate & very real. For God so loved you! Grab this & let if overflow your heart.

always,
keeper

Before you freak out about me reading the Twilight books, if I had my way I would not. When your children or the children you love read these books, I think you must. Who better than me? I am an English Teacher at heart and I love getting deep with books. I also get deep with God so I can take this on only through Him.

I am very concerned about her reading these books. There are some things that I am totally shocked that an author of teenage books would put in there when we are trying to teach our teens what is socially correct or dangerous. That is one negative and the other which is no surprise is how the author makes monsters normal and ok. In fact these monsters are really demons, don't you think?

I want to know what she is thinking but I don't want to turn her off. I want to ask innocent questions and really get her to think. I am praying about this. I hope to but she is always busy in sports and rarely comes to family get-togethers.... {heavy sigh}

the dark side ...

Dear Heavenly Father,
Today I feel a bit black and moody because I tried to speak important things I got brushed off twice. It made me want to react like a child and go silent. But no, I am adult and I know better. However, it is there and makes me dark. It is important and I would like spiritual guidance.....

I love You because You will never leave me nor forsake me. What I am grappling is important to You. You won't ignore me. Foremost You want me to keep my eyes on You and keep in the Your Love Letter. I want to keep to the Truth and I want to engage in conversation with my niece to know where she is at.

Can I do this? Can I make her feel safe to open up to me about the books she has read? Can I ask questions to get her to think? Will I be able to talk, I mean really talk to her? Will it happen????? I do need Your Help. Can I bring Your Truth and Your Wisdom to her without loosing her???? I need Your Words. I will be quiet and wait on You...

I love YOU!!!
always your daughter

journey vs. life sentence ...

Dear Heavenly Father,
As I pray for others and their requests, I have begun to see their struggles as a journey rather than a life sentence. Now if I only would see my own struggles and frustrations as a journey then might Your Light and Joy shine through? A hearty yes, I should say! A journey isn't so bad because once you see it as an adventure with You it makes it exciting rather than bearable! Thank You for the Journeys!!!! As said so well in Deut. 31:8 'You the Lord goes before me and will be with me; You will never leave me nor forsake me.' I will do as You command: I will not be afraid. I will not be discouraged.
always your daughter

to my dear parents,

Happy 42nd Anniversary!

When the world teaches that friendships and relationships are 'throw-away-able', you two have shown the endurance and tenacity it takes in a valuable marriage.

Often when I come home from my family time with you two, I am thanking my Heavenly Father for you both. I am blessed to have your love and help. I cherish us!

When two people fell in love, a relationship rippled out and a family began. You two have shown us the value of having a relationship with Jesus Christ through voice but most importantly through God's Design of His Love via marriage and family.

always bunches of love.
your daughter

Are You not ...?

I always love a good outline for a letter. Letters are important way to communicate. You are alone with your thoughts and you are forming thought into words and trying to reach out. Prayer is like letter. Ravi pointed out that Johoshaphat's prayer took on a form and questioned what we would put into our letter/prayer to God.

~II Chronicles 20:1-30 for your own read~

Dear God,
Are You not _____________?
Did You not _____________?
Will You not _____________?
from me.

I love having something to chew on and this really makes you think and seek out God in His Word. It makes you look at the Great Stories of Promise and Blessing and pull them into your life. It is 'talking back' the Word. It is putting your faith on the line and then seeing God work His way in your life.

celebrating sparrows & flowers ...

Dear Heavenly Father,
I have decided to celebrate sparrows and flowers. I have been so stressed and out of sorts lately. I have called upon You for You are my only HELP. I haven't felt much relief and my core has felt very jittery of late. I must let go.

I got really ticked when the resounding opinion about my move was hey, at least you have a window. But through that window You have brought the HELP in the form of sparrows whether they where playing in water puddles or eating worms or flitting about. As my desk has me facing the window with my back to door, my eyes goes to Your Creation. You love the sparrows and You love me even when I feel most insignificant and little.

So I vow to make my weekend a place to recoup and celebrate the simple things. I know You love me and nothing will get in the way of You loving me. That feels good. The stress is still lingering but hopefully soon my spirit will be chipper.

Thank You for my office sparrows and my fall flowers. I love You.

~always Your little girl

But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows. ~:Luke 12:7

...neither be ye of doubtful mind. ~:Luke 12:29

*

feelings {?}

Dear me,
Feelings are a bi-product from our thoughts, our actions, and our struggles, from interior influences and exterior influences, from what others say about us and do to us etc. The list could go and on. Feelings are fumes and life cannot run soundly on vapor. Life must run on gas like actions and character...

When it comes to hurting someone's feelings, you always must go softly and gently but you must always go on the side of character building. Feelings will get hurt and that is life. Life hurts!
~always keeper

~~~~~

Dear keeper,
I have a life choice and at this present time, I am having to enforce it. It is causing hurt feelings even on my side. I cannot let it interfere with this life choice because it is about protecting my character which is important because I must give an account to God.

I am not heartless because I am sad and feel bad but my relationship with Jesus Christ is too important for me to let human feelings get in my way. This believer's life is hard work! But True Love is not feelings but rather hard work that I am willing to be tenacious about!
~always me

you go girl!!
*

My Rest ...

My dearest beloved,
Come to Me, you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. I will give you Peace not as the world gives you but My Peace is good and a perfect gift. Let this overflow your cup because My good and perfect gift is of shine not shadow.

I know your arms are tired but you used the shield of faith to withstand the fiery darts and used the sword of the Spirit to protect your wellspring of life. You know to be gentle to all men and to let your home be inviting, but you also proved faithful to Me by protecting your home from the thief who seeks to tie up the strong man and scatter you. You let Me surround your weakness and stood with the belt of truth and the breastplate of right ways. I gather you in My Arms. Stay here and you will be safe.

Now sleep in green pastures beside still waters. I alone give you REST.
~always your Heavenly Father, Shepherd, Great Lover, & Husbandman.

communication needs ...

Dear Heavenly Father,
I was reading over the cave stuff that happens to a man. I am pretty sure that I really messed it all up back in '05. I knew that he was the type of guy that was never far from his cave. I also knew that once he was gone, it was highly doubtful that he would come back. I thought I knew the 'right things' to do. I failed miserably. I even had sworn off self-help books then and as I am tackling the male communication, I throw up my hands. How in the world is a female and male ever going to properly communicate with all the special needs each one has yet are so incapable of giving to each other? I even see the 'miscommunication' in my own parents at times! They are truly committed to each other yet they miss those connection needs.

So I throw up my hands and give it all up to You. I cannot go unlearn all that self-help and even as I contemplate throwing it all out the window, I can't seem to because there is some wisdom here. Dear Creator of Marriage, show me the way. As I learn to speak male, I want Your Hands and Your Paths to rise up and meet me. I will follow. I will also let go. I don't want to be burden anymore by past mistakes and future ones that I will be sure to make. I want to be humble and seek for forgiveness when I make a misstep (if I have to make them mistakes - grr!) For now, I will seek Your Word for communication skills - You do say to pursue love ...

Thank You for making males and females. Thank You for communication needs of each. Thank You that You made marriage and that You are in the union of the perfect matches.

~always seeking contentment in Your Paths for me
Your little one

barely the surface ...

Dear Heavenly Father,
I love You because You are there, a constant. You never waiver. You are Healing Physician. I am feeling low. Each day my throat has a new hurt. I know the medicine is healing it because I notice the slight changes. The cough is dry and hard. ARgh! It has been a long time since I have felt this bad. I can't seem to sleep solid because I need to breathe or the cough tears me awake.

I do seek a peace. I seek to survive the work week. I want to feel better!!!!!!! I know it will take time and You will be with me each step. Even if I can't talk, I can talk silently with You. Even if my thoughts are more slow and barely surfacing do to just getting through the next step, You understand my need to speak on screen or paper. You hold my dreams. I miss my deep thoughts!! But there is time to be in the moment in a simple shade and not the multicolored rainbow. I have a story I want to come alive... for a gift. Help! It isn't holding me.... You are a Perfect Author. Flow through my pen...

I love You. Thank You for loving me first and holding me close.
~always yours

made for this ...

dear sis,
" I struggle with what God could call us to. Financial struggle/hardship. "
your little bro

dear little bro,
Yes, you are made for hardship! All your good bits are getting refined, purified, strengthened! All those other bits are falling off because you don't need them. Proverbs 17:3 - 'The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests the hearts.' God is Master of the storm. Stop striving! Be in His Peace.

Do you realise that you will not have one hardship but multiple ones? And most likely that one hardship could be a hardship that come back over and over again. Proverbs 24:16 - 'For a righteous man may fall 7 times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity.' They are out. This blew me away at how much God gives us in resiliency.

Take a look at the Taylor girls in Mistaken Identities. One girl died and the other lived but their identities got switched. These two christian families are probably wondering why the mix up happened and still have no answer. I too was wondering what purpose God has in this. I can only say that we are clay pots with a treasure inside. These unexplainable moments are for the Message to get out. How we behave is our transportation mode of getting the Message out. I was beside myself with 'wowness' as one father explained that he "loved mercy" and quoted the verse explaining why he said no to the lawyer wanting him to sue the driver. The other father answered O's question to how he could endure this by saying that they had a relationship with Jesus Christ. I was shouting!!!!! Remember that in your clay pot is a Treasure inside - an unshakable HOPE that this world does not understand but harbors a need for. Hold to the Rock that is higher than you.

So all I can say to hardships is that we are in Holy Mud. It is a sacred time. The enemy is a thief. He steals your joy. He wants you grumpy to take your love away from your dear wife and child. He wants your emotions so wasted that you lash out at your pets. You have no good thing without God. So do not let the enemy steal away your delight over all that is precious in your life. Keep the Strong Man at your door. I won't put the words here. So here is your assignment. Go read Matthew 12:29-30 and connect the dots of your life to this verse.

Remember Thomas the doubter? Jesus never reamed him out for not having enough faith. Jesus showed us Thomas as a reminder that questions will come into our lives. Jesus welcomes the q's but always seek Him and He will answer them in the most wildest ways ever.

This might be the toughest to swallow but a believer's by-product must be joy!!!! I have learned this through my own hardships. You know the one - the one that keeps coming around in circles and hitting me over the head. Yup, loneliness or what I call it - aloneness.

Afraid so, little bro. You are made for this...
Not only are you made for hardship, you are made to delight and savor...
~always your sis

sharp & straight ...

My dear children,
Do not be nice people. I know I used to say nice matters and in a way it does but only in kindness and respect. You are living in a world full of ulgy and meaness. You will get your heart broken and you just might find your heart getting hardened. I don't want that for you. Your Heavenly Father doesn't want that for you.

I want you to be joyful in the Lord as it is your strength, staight and sharp like an arrow, and majestic in your pace like a lion unhindered by the enemy. That is why I bring us together as a family in our quiet time and why I challenge us all to dig deep in God's Word on all the issues that come up in world. I love our family discussions. I challenge you to hide His Word but also to it to us. I love your different views and get excited over your discoveries! I see how His Word lights up your eyes. When you leave the nest, I want you to be able to continue this in your own life and start it up in the families you will create.

Nehamiah 8:10 ~ The Joy of the Lord is my strength. A simple verse that you have hidden in your heart and a challenge we have done daily make Joy a priority in all that we do.

Proverbs 127 ~ You are the arrows staight and sharp in my quiver. As I release you out into your world with all your dreams, passions, and purpose, my fullest desire is to never stray. Stay in love with God. He is the best Keeper ever and He makes not only your way straight, He makes you straight and very sharp. You won't get lost or fall short. Act on His Love Letter.

Proverbs 28:1 ~ The righteous are as bold as lions and what about a lion that makes them bold? The pace of the lion is described as stately in their stride and retreats at nothing. Wow!!! There is a time to retreat and hide when your safety is in question whether it is physical or spiritual. But there is a time to be bold and it is your faith. Be proud of God and let God be proud of you and delight over you. You do that by walking in right ways. Don't question His Promises. Believe them. Be the lion!

The bigest most precious of all truths is to be soft. Guard against the hardening of your heart. You know my home is always open to you just as God's Arms will always welcome you. No matter the missteps or heartache that you fall into, we will always take you back. Never ever feel that you have done something so wrong that we could never love you. If you don't know how to 'fix' things back up, remember you can't only God can.

Happy is the man who is always reverent, but he who HARDENS his heart will fall into calamity. ~ Proverbs 28:14
He who is often rebuked , and HARDENS his neck, will suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy. ~ Proverbs 29:1

Keep straight. Keep sharp. Keep Joy of the Lord. Keep bold. Keep soft.

I love you and I believe in all your dreams, passions, and purpose. Go!!!!

huge huge huggers my luvs,
always your biggest mommers

to hide a doper ...

Mr. Policeman,
Is it wrong to look out the window at you to see what you are up too? First off you ruined the peace and quiet of a Saturday night by loud knocking and threats shouted to a downstairs apartment dweller. There were three of you but I only heard your loud threats. After the two other cops left, you sat there in your car. Aren't suppose to work in twos on weekends? Then when you saw me looking out and dragged yourself up to my apartment with your threats and demanding to come into my apartment to see if I was hiding the her.

You were loud and that just made me boil. I knew I did not have to let you in but you were tall and big and loud. All that came into mind was that I would let you in if you would take off your boots. You said you could not do that. Then you said 'just let me look around the corner'. I let you but you kept accusing me of hiding her.

''I keep to myself. I don't know if she is here. I did see her leave at noon to go to work but I did not see her come back. I don't care if I see her car out there or not. I did not physically see her come back.'' (So she stole drugs from patients at the nursing home and she smokes dope? I am allergic to tobacco so why would I allow her to hide out in my place?')

I wish I could talk in the heat of the moment but I can't and probably best that I can't. I am livid you threw your weight around here making me the victim. If you had a warrant than you could have gotten a key to get into her place instead of throwing your weight around and getting your sorry self into every other apartment instead of hers.

Thanks for letting all the smoke from the 5 smokers that live in this building get into my apartment and make my eyes burn. I have a hard enough time of it when the door is shut. Thanks for making me so livid. What a way to end a very weird emotional week. I think you need to learn to be quiet and observe people. You are lousy at reading people. Sorry that you have to work around criminals, it is sure rubbing off on you.

I much rather live peaceably and quietly. I do not like policemen up close and in my face. You are needed but for me at a distance. I do not like this feeling but because the days are evil I know you are 'just doing your job'. I still will pray for your safety and I will still cry when one of you fall. But please don't through your weight at me unwarrented...

always the concern citizen and I guess noisy neighbor

the wild flower power loomed hat ...

Ah my dear Lucia,
OOOO I am sooooo excited! I completed your new hat!!! I know I made you one for Christmas but this is a pretty wild one. Your daddy loves to put you in hats. You were wearing the one I made you last Sunday and your daddy was telling them that his sister made it for you. Your Grandma told me this and I beamed!!! I think that is what motivated me try another hat this week.

Your daddy said that you could use a green one. Well, you are in luck. I happened to have a green yarn and a green, pink, and purple yarn. I did the trim in green and the hat part is in the multi yarn and turned out longer! Opps, hard to gauge how things will work out on a loom. No matter becuase as I was thinking on it, the longer part works out better for the big loopy flower I loomed for the top! Yes, I made a six loop flower in green with the multi pom pom for the middle. Wow! I am just buzzy over this. It looks unique and cute. I think you will look sooooo coool. It is a good thing you are young and no bad or squirrelly comment can hurt you. It will be a show stopper!

I am all smiles. I can't wait to see if it fits and what the reaction will be!!!

love you
always
aunt keeper

man-harlot/man-whore ...

Dear Daughter,
Having teenagers in the house, our family quiet time has focused on reading the Proverbs daily each month since the book and the month have 31 days. By starting this practice, we hope that when you are out in the big wide world you will come back to the Proverbs and find the strength to stay in obedience with your God. Also being a teenager means you are beginning to test your wings. You are learning to think for yourself. What better way to develop your wisdom than going to a book where the wisest king wrote down God-Wisdoms. Remember King Soloman may have been the wiset king yet he too had times of stumbling but keep the words in your actions. Be tenacious in actively obeying because as you obey, you are loving your God, the first commandment.

Always remember that you at your youngest was a strong little girl in your faith. Nothing could deface God in your bright eager eyes. Sadly as you grow older life and stuff of earth will tear at your flesh and your eyes become dull with pain and your innermost being feels so weak. Get back to that little girl and hold her hand! She has much to teach you about strength and the love God desires from you.

Let me tell you about what will tear at your flesh. I will use strong language not to scare you to tell you like it is. Proverbs 1-10 but especially 5 talks to the men warning them of the harlot. But I warn you of the man-harlot or the man-whore.

A man-whore is smooth and kind. He will give you attention where you have been dry for so long that you think that maybe you have some nasty mole growing on your face that you cannot see. You smirk but tis true. The enemy is a thief and he will steal your beauty and your God-confidence. You will feel so empty. And when you are in the light of the man-whore, you will feel things you never felt but longed for - acceptance. I hope and pray that the hollowness stings you before you walk to far into this false-light. It is my job to build up your faith.

The man-whore will take any form to get you. First he will be a friend but watch because when he starts to persuade you into things that you don't want - RUN! Hide! Proverbs is alllllll about hiding! It is ok to do as long as you hide under God's wing.

What will the man-whore persuade you to do? Bondage. Yes, M&S - the whole master-slave thing. You are called to be free. The whole bondage thing isn't foreign to you because you have grown in the Bible. You know submission. Beware, the enemy is cunning and can make it feel right. Don't hush your faith. God wants you free. Keep reading Proverbs. Submit to God only. No Godly man will persuade you to do anything that does not feel right in keeping with God's word.

The man-harlot is also a pimp. He will use you and sell you. He defames your beauty. Don't think he looks like what the tv and movies portray him to be. He can look safe and trustworthy. He is a one nighter as well as someone you can't get rid of once he has his talons in you. Don't ever get caught. If you do, seek God and He will free you. You will have pain to go through so it is best never to find yourself in this position.

Key things to remember:
If he persuades and persuades you,
If he uses your beauty against you,
If he pays attention to you,
If you hear a quiet voice saying no,
If he defames submission,
If he sells you or cuts you in private or in public,
he is a man-whore and man-harlot. It doesn't matter how simple he may seem. He will become the monster you never thought would happen to you.

I use to tell you that 'nice matters' - while it speaks of respect and good manners, around man-whores your nice becomes your acceptance to what he is selling. Your nice is thrown back in your face with 'so this what your really want'. When you are nice by talking and listening, he will twist this around and claim that you want to be dominated, used, and abused. Oh, they will be cunning alright and dress up the words so they lure you in ever so slow but surely. Don't be nice. Don't be mean. Don't stay. Leave without a word or trace. HIDE.

You may think that you will be safe within a marriage. I know your dreams and yes, Daddy has been a great role model for you and what you are looking for in a man. Thank you, Daughter, for sharing your dreams with me. Know I pray for you every morning and cherish your dreams. Back to plans. Remember God-plans do not go according to your time schedule. You may have a season where you will be and live alone. Maybe it will be a lifetime of aloneness or maybe it be before you meet the man of your dreams or maybe it will be after you spent a season with that man of your dreams or maybe it will be within your marriage that alone comes to you. Just know that you are not safe alone or in a human bond. You are only safe in God-Arms. The enemy is a thief. He even thinks he can pluck you from God-Arms. Keep your faith and turn your eyes to Jesus.

The harlot warning in Proverbs isn't for the young men or your brothers only, it is for you. The days are evil. Monsters lurk everywhere. The enemy is a thief. Protect your beauty. It is your value and the enemy knows it. You remind him of God's Beauty and that makes him livid. The more beautiful you are inside the more he will try anything and everything to kill the beauty in you. Hiding in God will keep you.

I love you, my daughter. You are beautiful. Keep guard. Love your God with all of your strength (physical), mind, heart, and soul. I will always pray for you.

always with love
mom