etiquette ...

“Would you have a baby shower for me?” He asked his sister.

Baby showers are given by the new mother-to-be’s friend much similar as with a wedding shower.

”Here is list of 47 people we would like to have at our baby shower.”

Whoa! Way toooooo long! Remember the food costs. Invitation costs. Stamp costs. If you send out RSVP’s, there is an additional cost of the stamp provided. Where will people sit and will they be comfortable?

”We want to invite our co-workers, people from church, and the girls at her hair place.”

These people tend to have showers for you. They know you are having a baby and if there is no shower and they want to give you a gift, they will.

”I am going to invite her co-workers over.”

Uh no! What is your real intent? For them to come over and have fun or for them to give you presents? Even if your intent is good, the behavior screams ‘give me, give me.’ A baby shower is a gift in itself.

“I am going to have her ask the church ladies to have a shower for us.”

Good luck at pulling that off with out looking like your hand is out! Shame on you!
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This is mainly a warning for the twenty-somethings to watch out for their wants and going online for proof that the way you go about getting what they want is ok. The web will prove that any behavior is ok. There is something quite wrong with the generation coming and how they tackle their wants. I saw this as I was researching baby shower etiquette.

First I was floored by the questions and behaviors asked of her. And then to search the web for the correct etiquette was another shock. I could prove all the above using the web. My gut was saying no way. I yelling stick with ‘old paths.’

The list is down to a more manageable number. He can no longer tell her how to run the show. It is hers now and is suppose to be a gift.

I have no clue why these notions are in his head. They were born of the same family but a generation apart. She was not born in the midst of the web age and he was. I think this is where the fault line runs. New generations what new paths. They want new ideas. Each new generation goes through that but they do come to realize that old paths are old and worn because it works.

God Provides … not man … and definitely not when man strives so hard…

Stand at the crossroads & look
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is & walk in it
& you will find rest for your souls.
~Jeremiah 6:16

heritage...

I went to the double furenral of my Grandpa's brothers. Roy H was 89 and passed 11ish PM on Monday. Elmer H was 92 and passed 10ish PM on Tuesday. Yes, they were close in there quiet way all their lives. Roy was a 'blue baby' and his heart was damaged. Roy never married and lived close or with Elmer all his life. They were the middle brothers.

I wanted to go to collect in my visual library and in my thoughts my history and my heritage. It is kind of like collecting the dots. There were black and white pictures of my Great Grandparents, Anna and Amos (I never met). Dad pointed out the fancy attire in there wedding picture and compared it to the plain attire at their 50th Anniversary photo. We wondered when this might have happened. They were of Mennonite faith and the clothes are plain. Their wedding picture reminded me of days depicted in Laura Ingals Wilder books. She wore the long skirt and the nice frilly white long sleeved top. He wore a dark suit with a tie. The Anniversary photo had him in a plain suit and her in a plain dress typical of what the Mennonites use to wear. In another picture I could pick out Great Grandpa Amos because he looked exactly like my Grandpa but with white hair. In another photo there is this big white house with some people that look like the time era of the civil war. Dad has another photo of that house but he isn't sure who the people are or the time era. He thinks the woman sitting is his Great Grandma. Then there is another photo of with the Silver Beach lighthouse in the background. Why do I tell you this? Just interesting because in my Grandmother H's photos there is one with the backdrop of the Silver Beach lighthouse. I find it cool to think that a place I visited was visited by my past family. Makes me wonder what they were feeling and thinking.

I also got to collect some memories of Elmer and especially of Roy from their families and friends. My Grandpa was a verrrrrrry quiet man and so where his brothers. Walter, the youngest, probably was the vocal out of all of them. Roy intrigued me today because he was a loner and never married. His friend would get calls from nursing home saying that Roy isn't coming the game night. His friend would say 'that isn't his thing. He has his own projects and is busy. He is a loner and that is alright.' (Hmmm! You know what? That is encouraging. I know that I need people and I have finally learned how to engage them but so often I still end up feeling alone. Often, I find that I don't want to follow the crowd. I would rather enjoy someone without the chaos of the group.) In the final years both Elmer and Roy where in the same nursing homes. Elmer would visit Roy when Roy couldn't get around and Roy would visit Elmer when Elmer couldn't get around. If you would see them visit you woud find them just there. Very little words spoken if any. Roy was hard of hearing and Elmer could hardly speak. It was just PRESENCE! Isn't that something? Just enjoying each other's presence. Elmer had already thought Roy had died when they took him to the hospital. Elmer had looked out for his brother all his life. They were the last two of the family. Elmer knew it was time. He was going HOME right behind his brother Roy.

One other thing about Roy... his way of Bible Study was like mining words. He would go through the Bible and count up how many times a word was repeated. He did it on scraps of paper but oh, if you could have bound that up in a notebook! I would have loved to have gone through it! Maybe along my journey I can try that...

There was one thing that I thought was interesting and I want to do for my own funeral. There was a reading of the obituaries. Dad said that the Mennonite faith does not believe in eulogies so they do obits instead. I like the reading of the obits because if you are not close to the family you can get a bigger picture of their history. Plus, each person is a book or a story and this fills in the blanks so to speak. I want to write one for myself to remind myself Who my Author is and the dream seeds He placed in my heart. It would be a way to give back to God and for me to keep growing in His plan for me...

treasured old family books ...

Being a lover of stories I got to keep some old books from my grandparent's place. Two had my grandfather's name, two had my grandma's name, and one had my father's name written in the front cover.

One book titled "Silver Wings" by Grace Livingston Hill tugged on my memory. I remember reading this book as a child but what I realized just now this was the very copy I had read. It brings back memories, spatial memories. I remember grandparent's mobile home. I remember the lay out. I remember the items that decorated the place. I remember their presence. I remember this book there ... (funny how I travel back to the homes they had .. remembering certain things...)

The book represents a friendly cocoon. I remember everything else around me fade as this book world filled my mind. I cannot remember the story but little pieces are there like the pilot's silver wings pin and something about upstairs bedroom...

I do believe this was the first book by Grace Livingston Hill I read and it began my thirst for her other books. These books are written in the same form so after a while you move on. Girl in trouble living alone meets a guy that chooses her and her life changes for the better. A girlish book with my grandfather's name written there. Did he read it? Who gave him the book? He was closer to that time, what did it mean to
him?

The season of Thanksgiving and Christmas always fills me with the urgency of gathering home, lights, and love around me like a tucking in a warm blanket. I am going to take time out to read this book again and travel back to my old memories... Revisit old paths ..