Showing posts with label soap box. Show all posts
Showing posts with label soap box. Show all posts

Thursday, January 05, 2012

over the wall thief ...

I know that John 10:1 is about salvation but after listening to John Bunyan's Pilgrim Progress where Christian confronted the those who had come into the fold by the wall and called them thieves, I see marriage as a sheepfold of sorts.  As always my mind had many other strands of thoughts and this struck a cord with me and connected a dangling dot.  It gave me a visual.

Marriage is scared and God ordained.  I just cannot understand why gay people want marriage.   They are already living in defiance against God according to Romans 1 so why do they feel the need for marriage?  Just live in defiance, shake your fist against God, and live together.  These days you don't really need marriage with all the living together, right?  Lets be truthful - marrying the same sex would have more of a mutinous impact, right?  Lets show God who is god!

To enter the fold of marriage though the gate is to be a Christian man and wife following God's rules.  To enter into marriage any other way is to climb over the wall like a thief trying to gain all the goodies but without rules.  Just because you are inside the walls of marriage doesn't mean God will overlook how you got in over the wall.  You will be standing there in all your thieving shame.  See, God will always have the last word.  Your dirty rotten sniff-neck obstinate will be nothing compared to the passionate heat of jealousy from the Almighty.  If only you would look deeper into God's design for marriage.  He is showing you the picture of how beautiful our relationship can be with God.  Trust Him.

Needless to say marriage is different than salvation but I see marriage as a crown to cast upon my Heavenly Savior as well as a very important mission field in these deteriorating last days.  Be encouraged this visual goes both ways.  If you have entered though the gate of marriage, what an honor to give to the King of kings.

I guess what really caught my thoughts was that if within the fold whatever the fold it might be and their is someone in there that doesn't belong it is because they are a thief. What thief would steal garbage? They are going to steal the diamonds!  And maybe that is all that needs to be said...???

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Call Upon Me

I am quite frustrated that the NYC mayor has decided to keep all religions out the 911 10th Anniversary Reflection Memorial. I do not mind all the religions part but the ultimate COST is the taking out of God and having a personal relationship with the Almighty in a great time of need.

Who better than God to call on when fire and destruction are licking at your heels? Why take Him out of the equation when He still can be found? What a disservice to our founding fathers and those who ran through the man made fire and hell here on earth and straight into the Mighty Arms of God because they had a personal relationship with the God of Salvation?

"For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You." Psalm 86:5

"Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.h Psalm 50:15

"The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth." Psalm 145:18

"As for me, I will call upon God, And the Lord shall save me." Psalm 55:16

"Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live." Psalm 116:2

"He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him." Psalm 91:15

"Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near." Isaiah 55:6

What a sad day it is when we remember the tragic day but refuse to remember the God Most High with our trust and obedience.

"The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, A refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You." Psalm 9:9&10

Monday, March 07, 2011

Expression of lifestyle freedom…

Have you ever noticed that those who live the gay lifestyle say how freeing it is to not hide it anymore? There are no more secrets, no more closets. I have heard the stories that lead them to this 'freedom' and I cannot help but to feel that they now are duping themselves even more. What lights my fire is this expression of freedom. Let me say it like it really is.

There is a freedom like after huge Thanksgiving meal where you obscenely pigged out and now you let down the zipper of your pants and flop out your spare tire. You feel a relief. You no longer feel restricted as you slip into that food coma bliss.

Then there is anther kind of freedom like after a Thanksgiving meal where you only ate just enough to be happily satisfied. You stopped long before you blow it. Now you have a freedom of playing flag football or in my dream world a bit of slapstick hockey.

Both express a since of freedom but only one is healthy... only one is honest... only one is honorable... only one is genuine...

Saturday, October 23, 2010

so quiet is wrong?

We are loving the new church because it is a Bible believing church. It is amazing to be so happy every Sunday! It isn't just me, I can feel it coming from Mom & Dad too. We have been going since July and Dad is already wanting to join. So reading over the application and requirements, I got really upset to tears....

What was my Spiritual Gift? I was in a panic! Here I know myself forward, backwards, inside out, top to bottom and I don't know what part of the body of Christ I am? Not only was there panic but there was anger. The reason I know soooo much about myself that it is scary is because I am soooo quiet. Now being a QUIET means that something is wrong with you. So ever since junior high I have been trying to FIX myself. I thought cheerleading would make me louder. Well, I am glad I never got the nerve to try that. I tried out for a college play because I was in a play in junior high and maybe I could do it again. What did they ask of me? Yell so they can here in the back of the little theater. Well, I did. Surprised them but I didn't get the part. After college I poured over every reasonable self help book on marriage, personalities, etc. Since 2003 God broke me of the habit of self help and showed me God-Help. Through all my searching, I have stirred up quite a bit of heat over feeling inferior or the need to change my quiet ways.

Well, I was livid with hot tears pouring out my eyes. Once again here I was crying before bed. I did not want my spiritual gift to be nursery duty or Sunday school teaching. I made a hysterical txt to my little bro. "Your gift is encouragement. See if they have a card ministry. Your cards are great." I wanted to dance on my chair but I was at work and you know, quiet is my normal. I made a call to Mom later in the week and she came through with "God created you quiet. They cannot go against the Creator." This registered Eric Liddell's famous line "God made me fast" Again I wanted to dance on my desk this time but I was at work and you know, quiet is my normal.

So I am dragging out my very big soap box here on llj and lugging out the mammoth speakers turning the volume to deafening.
God made me quiet. God made me creative. God made me word smart and picture smart. God gave me the love language of words just like King David! God made me sensitive. God gave me an insatiable desire to learn. God made me a great listener. God made me interested in others. God made me a great wing-man. God made me an encourager. God also gave me fire. Don't dare to change that quiet in me. Nothing is wrong with me. God made me quiet.

Well, it looks like this is a place to take a breath and pause. I am not done. Surprise, Surprise! Look for another post...

I am a mixed personality but I was so gung-ho on the part I understood and really didn't pay attention to the quieter side until now. God has been stirring up things lately. The 'melancholy' side is curious. More later....

Oh, are you wondering why I got soooo huffy at the beginning of this post? The pastor is a dominant personality. It worries the quiet me. The melancholy side is getting hot and protective. The passive side has had enough after soooo many years of being a wing-man with no returns and a lot of leavers when I did finally spoke up. I am glad the pastor is a strong personality preaching the Word. That is his job. Just wanting others to except my job as a quiet sensitive encourager .... I know a lot of wind without substance. However, I have made my statement now to not backing down... ok more later!!!

Friday, August 06, 2010

the glut of birthday parties ...

Ok, be patient with me. It is a personal musing and wonderment about birthday parties...

I had an alone childhood where books and my bike kept me company. I have a picture of a birthday party of mine where I sat with a neighbor boy smiling with my birthday cake made by my grandmother. I think that is the only birthday party that I had where someone outside my family was there. There was no grand hoopla at my 16th even though I stupidly wished for some grand jester. As an adult I do not expect huge tidings of birthday wishes granted from friends or even the outside world. Sometimes it is even hard to get a small gesture from the bros but mama knows she must celebrate with me or I am devastated. So I do know the power of a birthday and the value it gives you when someone goes out of their way to grant birthday wishes.

I am noticing that a great deal put into birthday parties for the young these days. The internet is laced with oodles of themed birthday parties. Gone is the simple gathering of cake and ice cream and in is the grandiose themes. I am visual and I must admit that I visit daily a wedding and party blog to enjoy the many different ideas that help me be creative in my own life. It is fun and mystical. I feel that party feeds our need for adventure and celebration and creating but I think birthday parties in particular should not be sooo grand. I could be all wet, too.

I went to my nieces 3rd birthday and her parents invited over all her friends (aka kids). There where lots of presents and when the presents were opened it was like watching vultures waiting to feed on the overkill. Yes, I made my gifts and even dolled up the bag. I suppose that fed into my disgust of where the focus was. These kids weren't die hard friends. The little niece probably won't remember them as life picks up. There was so many gifts and the misbehaving vultures ... it was all toooo much. But all the young parents these days are doing these big parties and argh, I am glad that I am not a parent.

I love parties. However, for my kids I would want a more personal more family oriented birthday party. If I was to throw a kid party, I would have a summer party where no one kid got a ton of gifts over another. That way I could make sure each kid had fun and my child won't be getting all these 'toys' that they really don't need. Plus, where do you put all these gifts????

I know I am more of an introvert and covet one on one time with those I love. Big parties and tons of people make a wallflower out of me but I love the detail and fun and the hugeness of it. I love planning parties and I love attending but give me a personal birthday party any day! Shouldn't birthday parties be more cozy and personal?

Sunday, July 25, 2010

a high vs the everyday ...

At the monthly Bible study I started to attend, I made an observation that bothered me greatly. I got the sense that some feel the need to have an experience with God like having a high. This drives me crazy! I do not want a 'Jesus-high'. I need Him too much in my every day. In fact He promised He would never leave me nor forsake me. I am holding Him to that.

I want Him when I am in tears over a stupid job and when I have to serve with gladness with respectful obedience to a boss who I will never make happy. If I couldn't have Jesus with me when I go to work ... well, it just wouldn't be good. I want Him in the every day moments when my brain is thinking out processes so I can talk to Him and ask questions. He has always been patient and has opened my eyes to things that only He could reveal. He showed me how to crochet because I would kept trying and would get upset and throw it down. I search and He reveals. He knows the Mysteries and will reveal when the time is right. There are a lot of everyday things I involve Him in and I have to credit all of the dot connecting to His quiet directions.

I want Him when I look out into the evening sky and see a rosie golden sky scape as the sun pulls the covers over her head and I whisper in my head the awe of His Master work. Lately His sky has been so vocal with the heat and storms that even when I fear there is much awe in the power and beauty of it all. He has little old me written in His Hands so how can He forget me? How could I ever think of only experiencing Him in some kind of magical high?

I don't want to ever think that I want to escape it all and have some mystical magic high moment with Him. Yes, there are moments when we are to run to the Fortress that is higher than I. Think about it those 'to the Fortress I run' times aren't highs but troubles. Check out Psalms 18. There is no high rather it is God working out the issues that plague me. He is in the trenches with me quivering under His Wing. I am the watcher and my heart stills it frantic beat as I watch His expert Arm defending and protecting His little one. He is right there. Always. This isn't a high but plain old everyday. I like it like that. Isn't God Awesome in His Ways and His Understandings that is greater than little I?

My life isn't made up of all trouble. There are a lot of good times too. I don't think of them as highs because most are simple things yet profound when I think deeper to His under-workings. Especially when I am troubled and dwelling in the muck, I start to pull my vision away to Him by simply telling Him what I am grateful. I love bed covers even in summer heat. I love paper & ink. I love blue and how it makes me feel. I love the bashful bold purple that feels like royalty and still has a simple gracefulness to it. I like the warm sunshine and the cooling rain in the summer. I like the bright snow and the delicate snowflake in the winter. I pick out everyday things and put them in the light and thank my Master for them right there in the moment. Wouldn't you forget all the wonderful things to thank Him for if you waited to steal away to some magical high? Wouldn't you be caught up in the moment and nothing?

I love to have the Bible near. When my life is out of whack, my only true and solid answer comes from His Word. I must make this everyday. It is a conversation and for too long it has been one sided. I want Him to do the talking too. I am tired of my voice piercing the airwaves. I must hear His Voice many times a day. Haven't you ever missed a lover's voice? Interesting that often we claim that God is silent. What a lie! His letter has 66 books filled with His Voice!

NOOOOOO high for me. I want Him everyday in the midst of my simple everyday life. I take Him at His Promise of never leaving me nor forsaking me. I have a big shoes to fill. I love Him right? He is in my everyday right? Am I dwelling in Him every moment of my day???????

Saturday, June 19, 2010

single period.

I have made a decision that I am going to be happy and content with my God-given gift of singlehood. However, I must warn you that if you ask and tears well up, it does NOT mean that I want you to set me up. What is worse than living a singular life is the dating. I absolutely hate it. I am the most unsure of myself like a new born horse. If I was to get married, it would have been from getting to know someone like from a friendship.

Please do not think you can rescue me. I am a hopeless cause when it comes to human intervention. God knows me and yes, I have to work on my 'comfort' and stability of little 'ol me. Last year I hit a milestone birthday and at Christmas I had to deal with someone who thought they could rescue me sent me into a deep end of emotional stress. I had enough. No more. Now if I can control my welling of my eyes and have the right words. So to the ladies that tried to rescue me today and to anyone else who thinks they are the best at matchmaking, I am not having it and I will become my worse nightmare. I would rather keep that under wraps. Thank you very much! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Thursday, May 20, 2010

listening to the liar for truth!?

I am not sure how to start. I really need to find a new church. I am frustrated and my parents are frustrated. We have done a bit of church hopping and we highly doubt we will find one. This church isn't as fundamental as the ones I went to as I grew up. I must say that of late the bad theology has kept me on guard. Maybe I need that but I want to be able to go to the Banquet feast and eat wholesome healthy food. No junk or garage please.

I cringed when I saw who was speaking on Sunday. This person is notorious for taking Scripture out of context to push her message. Yes, I said her. I don't care for women preachers. Speakers are a different animal. Why don't I leave? I am single and I am tired of doing everything on my own. Church should be a family thing .... at least. Dad is my covering since I am single but with his comment on Sunday something about not wanting to go to a conservative church.... What? I WANT a conservative church! I want to know that what is coming from the pulpit is Bible based.

Well, I should get to what I need to unload!

She started off saying that God has laid on her heart what she was going to say. As the Sunday sermon was coming to a close she said "The church needs to adapt to the world" in order to win others to Christ. She had a visual where 3 men where on stage, one holding the cross, the next had his hands like folded like the church, and the third holding a globe. They were all lined up. Then she moved the globe up saying that as the world changes the church needs to change so there is a direct line to the cross..... I WAS LIVID! I wanted to jump up and shout and make a royal fuss. I could hardly contain myself. Good thing I am a quiet person!

I have been thinking about this all week almost non-stop. There also have been other life events around here that just have added fuel to my fire. I have come to the conclusion that if I ever have the opportunity for one on one face to face communication where someone says this is what the Lord has laid on my heart or God is in this and I know the Holy Word does NOT say this, I am going to let the hair stand straight on my neck and let my face get red and I am going to point blank say, PROVE IT. Give me at least 3 passages in the Holy Bible that says what you are trying to feed me!

God NEVER shows or speaks to us things that He has not already spelled out in great detail in His Holy Word. Beware least you call Him a liar!

1. Yes, God's Word is for the WHOLE WORLD/ not partial
*John 3:16 *Romans 2:11
Mark 16:15 "He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.
2. God's Word is narrow - no accommodations - no sugar coating.
3. God's Word is a stench & an aroma II Cor 2:14-17
4. Trust & Obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus
*Must live by the Sword
5. God's Word & God Himself NEVER changes
6. must live in the world but be ye separate!
7. be Biblically correct not political correct.

God does not reveal one thing to you and say something different in the Word. If so, maybe you what you are listening to is coming from the evil one. Hmmmmm!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Truth vs a fool

God never shows or speaks to us things that He has not spelled out in great detail in His Holy Word. Beware lest you call Him a liar! .... Yeah, I have a bee in my bonnet for sure this time. Of late it feels like I have to be 'the Word defender'. Guess this happens when you soak in His Words. First, you find that you are totally falling in love with God and then you get real touchy when others mess it up.

Twice now I have heard people say this is what God is telling me and then when they share it, I am shocked they can even say it. Example, the pastor said that "the church needs to adapt to the world..." YIKES! PROVE IT!!! GIVE ME AT THE VERY LEAST THREE PASSAGES THAT SAY THAT!!!!! Well, more on this later. I have so much to refute this claim but I have very little time tonight to really exhale! The other example was an excuse to live with a man. Oh, God led us together .... What???????? God ordained marriage not living together!

"The foolishness of a man twists his way,
and his heart frets against the Lord."
~ Proverbs 19:3

"Because, although they knew God,
they did not glorify Him as God,
nor where they thankful,
but became futile in their thoughts,
and their foolish hearts were darkened.
Professing to be wise,
they became fools."
~Romans 1:21-22

Once upon a time I had something real good and I would ask God what I should do in certain situations. But this real good thing is now long gone and I realized to my horror that I was going on what I felt God was telling me and not going straight to the Word to get my answer. Now I am always looking for the answers from His Word. See, feelings are so fickle and people are wishy so-washy. I needed SOLID truth. Something that does not fail or fall apart. I never again want to be insecure. It is like be sea sick on a turbulent ocean that is heaves you this way that that. All you want is to kiss the solid sturdy unshakable ground. I won't go back. It must be solid quality answers and you only get that from God's Holy Word.

Friday, March 12, 2010

give me more beauty!!!

I confess I have a fetish for anything beautiful. I treasure beautiful words and beautiful pictures the most. I am getting real bad about this!

I can't stand the co-workers continual storytelling. Her storytelling is usually about something bad. I can't stand old grumpy people either where everything is bad. I can't stand the continual news drainage on all day and night tv. (my ears had to deal with a grumpy couple and news tv for four hours while waiting for my jeep) I just want to pluck my brains and eardrums out through the nose with a tweezer! I tried to read God's Word but there was sooooo much noise (I can't stand unnecessary noise! never have. never will!) and the wait was soooo long, that it was verrrrrry hard. I even tried to come up with thank You's but that was impossible. It didn't help that I was getting a headache.

It was good to fill my eyes on beautiful pictures in the magazines at the stores. I love the visual feast. The afternoon of shopping gave way for thanking God for some good things for the day.

I have a problem with the negatives. I used to be in that place and don't want to go back. Sometimes it can be a real fight. Now that I am most HA free and have a handle on God's JOY, why waste my time on the negatives? That isn't me anymore. It isn't a habit I will return to but it is more like a food allergy. I know what makes me sick so I avoid it.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

eternal torment vs earthly suffering ...

I just want to be very clear.... We are living in an age where the Message is misrepresented and misused. I am sitting in the pew squirming and having a rebuttal well up in my outraged heart. Ink is running as fast as I can move it across the paper.... I am an English Major and if what was preached today was on an Essay Test, I would have to give it an F for the lack of comprehension. I was floored that this 'shepherd' had got this out of the passage of Scripture!

Luke 16:19-31 is about the Rich Man and Lazarus. The sermon was about compassion we should have. Her question was how are we like the rich man lacking compassion for the beggar at our gate.

Lets just boil this Scripture to the very core! This is about eternal torment vs. earthly discomfort. If you want to preach about compassion using this Passage then you better be preaching about God's Saving Compassion for us! Like my Dad has said that it is like the church wants to make everyone comfortable in the pew so lets not talk about sin and hell but what about saving them from the burning fires of hell?

I could go on and on about what this scripture means in such detail to exhaust all possible meat one would be able to glean from this Holy Word but it would never touch on how we are like the rich man lacking compassion for the beggar at the gate. There are other great passages on giving human compassion. What comes to my visual mind is a so-called shepherd at the gate of the fold of sheep pacifying us with fake water. Where is her compassion? I have a co-worker that I am trying to plant God-seeds in her life. All the church is providing is junk food? I want Living Water!

This year I am most thankful that I can read and that I have the Living Word to read and that I have the Holy Spirit guiding my heart and soul..... We must be watching! We are called to be the Watchmen! We must tell the Truth every time we hear the half truths. I was bursting at the seams with this.....

Friday, July 03, 2009

depending on God vs depression ...

Hmmm, it seems I do have a very important choice. When the blues or grey clouds invade my mind like now, I can fall into despair & depression or I can depend on God. Yes, I know I need to renew the mind and I do but what a battle. I still walk in the dark for a while until the sun begins to appear. Yet at times, I feel I am just glossing over and it is just right under the surface only to rear up quicker.

I could try to figure out where the feelings are coming from but that is old hat. Food, loneliness, messed up plans .. I think all selfish motives if I am going to be really honest at the end of the day. I will keep going into training the brain and rereading God's Love Letter especially the tear stained ones about His Great Love for me. I will busy my hands at creating new things and give them away. I will train myself at reaching out ... instead of decompressing...

I could get my soapbox out but I am going to put it away. However, I will keep the soap out and suds away the dirty windows... I do have a lot of nice gifts in the form of family and pups. I have some neglected gifts that I need to bring out and put in the display like old friendships ... kinda scary because Mom says it is like tennis you have to put the ball in the other court so the other can volley... I do put that ball in the other court but I am always waiting for the return... Maybe I need a new picture to understand the game because I don't get it. Then I have some talent that I have no clue what I am suppose to do with it. I have an overflow of glass unwanted and maybe my amigurumi will begin to fall into the unwanted category as well. Ok, better turn the car around ... I also have some gifts like teaching and encouragement that I am not sure what to do with ...

Well, I better go get busy instead of mopping {{lopsided smile}}

Oh, I got fireworks tonight to enjoy! Must take my patriotic music to enjoy with!!! See, I do have great blessings in my life to count and delight in... offf I go to unwrap!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

to truly touch ...

I watched City of Angels last night and no, I am not going to go off on the angels bit. However, I am going to have to go off on touch. I am probably going to do a big no no here by using an earthy movie to prove a Kingdom value. It is to put you in my shoes and hopefully see through my eyes...

I developed a considerable relationship. We talked about what moved us. What touches me deeply is words. For this other person it was touch. I felt at a disadvantage because there were many miles of dirt and ocean between us and I wasn't that into touch but was willing to learn. As time progress my heart observed that this person seemed to lack trust but I didn't know how to speak up about it. Now as I look back, this person never allowed me to touch in a non-physical way and there has to be that option open!

Maybe it is the empathy that is so deep seated with me but people are so numb. (I too have to watch my numbness and nip it when it arises). This movie is really about feeling the pain and the beauty and not to waste it by just surviving. Note the pear. Seth had to keep on living and he went into the grocery store and so intent on filling the basket with pears. He could not get enough. He wanted what was and he needed to keep feeling. It was his way of keeping in touch with Maggie who died.

For me I can't get enough of all things Australia. My ears always perk up when I here an accent. Are they pushing the 'a' and the 'r' up through the nose? There is this story of a white haired man on George St in Sydney who use to pass out tracks. Then there are the stories of Australia. This white haired man has touched so many lives that my eyes tear up because I wonder how 'my' person is doing spiritually. Then just yesterday another guy named Ken with 'Answers in Genesis' had the perfect Ozzy accent and I was so into his story of faith. Then the OutBack Steakhouse commercials! Then there are the PBS specials on Australia and I am there soaking up every detail. It is me filling up on the 'pears'. It is me touching and feeling - trying to fill up on that person.

I wept as I talked to God. I have the a blue wooden sign in my living room. It reads 'Its a Wonderful Life.' I am all about TOUCH. Our lives touch other lives but we are so blind to it. It is time to pull back the veil and see just below the surface. It is about getting inside the other's shoes. It is listening and feeling. It is not about being so caught up with just our own selves and lives. I know this person's hangs ups and frustrations. And I think these things has caused numbness and there was no way for me to touch and move this person. So that leaves out the question if this person ever thinks of me... I keep praying for a joy evasion on this person life. This is the one thing I know to touch even if I won't know on earth.

Sighs... It is my soapbox and just another thing that ostracizes me from others... the glazing in eyes as I wax on and on about depth...

If touch is your love language, how do let others touch you in a non-physical way?
If you don't allow someone in on your adventure, how can you end up in the same place?
If you don't let someone in your worse, how can you really know they love you?

What moves you? What is your love language? How can you involve another to what moves you? Shouldn't gratitude involve all your senses?

Now that is something to try -
Involve your senses (even your 6th) in gratitude. Be shaken. Be stirred. Be impassioned. I think your knees will weaken and you will find yourself kneeling before the Awesome God...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

anatomy of strength ...

Strength is lightness in your step.
Strength is an insatiable need to learn more.
Strength is addictive.
Strength makes the twinkle in the eye.
Strength is time stopping or getting lost in the moment.
Strength is food most necessary for the heart to survive.
Strength is humble and in awe of the potential.
Strength is not of your own making but is from God's.
Strength is an uprising of unstoppable excitement.
Strength is highly desired in what you do.
Strength gets you out of bed and makes you ready for the day.
Strength is a challenge you want to achieve.
Strength is growing and stretching.
Strength is feeling alive.
Strength is arms open wide and a glowing face tipped back with a smile bursting.

Here I go again getting my 'believe in your dream' soapbox out and standing firmly up it. But after going in a tailspin over a job offer that I would have to break my will to do, I came to the midnight conclusion that this job offer needs to go to someone who really enjoys it. I have found a peace that it will be alright if it goes to someone else. However, I am not sure what I will make of it if the job offer is offered to me. I have prayed and I am still seeking God's Word in this matter. I most hated myself and my feelings yesterday. Today's outlook is bright. I do have a renewed energy to enjoy my jobless state. I felt very embarrassed when an old co-worker asked if I was enjoying my time off. Honestly I wasn't ... totally - just in parts. Now for enjoying all parts.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

teamwork in the workplace ...

As I was updating my resume, I came to the two words that I have dealt with in my personal life but here they were again in my work life. 'Working alone' & teamwork' are the perps. In my personal life I have realized a problem between the two. I am a single girl living a single life but desperately trying to live a team life. I am always searching ways to be a good wife and trying to work it in my single life. I finally realized that I had one foot in the single life because of course that is reality and the other foot is in a couple-hood w/no mate which was total fantasy on my part. A great word picture would be that you are riding a fence that is going no where. I now have a word for it or a label - it is duplicity. Guess what duplicity means? It is deceitfulness and double dealing! Yikes! I was mortified to see that I had been deceitful with myself.

I am a life learner and I will be working out how to be a good wife but in my single life. I have a relationship with Christ Jesus and I am His Bride. No more duplicity.

Now to my work life. I noticed that I work best on my own without a boss hovering over my every move. In fact I had a piece of that until the they consolidated and I had more boss. I struggle with it very much. Now I do like team ship and always will but I believe that it really doesn't work in the business world as it should. I have not had an example of good teamwork in any of the places that I have worked. It has always been about self rise or the corporation over the group of people that make that corporation run.

A team is about each person bringing their strength to the group and working that strength. However, in the work world there is too much competition and stepping on each other to be better and get the better bucks. When you are not wired to compete, you make a good rug. So when it comes to the resume, what do you put down?! I am smirking because what I would put down with bare bone honesty which would guarantee a paper airplane ride to file thirteen with amazing turbo speed.

Maybe my definition of team for the business world needs to change a little bit. My personal definition for team is working your strengths out for the us. I have made a commitment and feel that this team member is worthy of my devotion and protection. I am always going to seek out their good. Not so good at work when you have to be in a group and you have no choice but the choice to work at this workplace and this workplace should trump any individual rise up the corporate ladder. Ok, I do think I have gone around the mulberry bush a tad too many times!

Well, on my resume I have it as that I am a hard worker who works great alone and likes teamwork. It is as honest as I can get. If they ask about teamwork, I will tell them that a good team is each person contributing their best strength for the workplace. I do believe that is the best teamwork for a business. It may be that I am settling for the good of the corporation and not for the little people that make it up but ultimately for me it comes back to little old me giving my best work as I work unto God and not man. It just might mean that I am 'used' but there is a bigger picture.... God's glory.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

man plans ...

''So do you think what we have has a future?'' he asks. Wanting to drop the bomb and leave without a proper answer, he tried to end the conversation quickly.

''Wait a minute buddy. I know exactly what I feel about this relationship. I believe in you and I believe in us. I have made my vows know to God about keeping this friendship in the eternal mode. I know my side very well but in any 'ship' there is another side - your side. You have kept silent about your plans for this. You lead this. What do you want? What are your plans?'' ....

Oh how a few years away from this actual questions gives you lessons you wish you had when the it happened. I just learned that every man has a plan. They are possessors & protectors. They have a plan. They just don't come up to you for no good reason.

Two disclaimers:
If the plan is not voiced, the girl should never think up plans for the two of them. Never Never. A big no no. The girl has a life and she should be getting on with her own life. A girl knows what she wants and if the girl don't she better get to knowing because this girl will grow up to become a frustrated stressed out woman wondering where her life went.

If the plan is voiced, the girl has a right to veto or go for the guy. Remember a good girl knows what she wants. He might not be into you but to our defence a girl just might not want the boy or his 'plans'.
{smiles}

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

a form of godliness

Why search for spirituality in books or so called guru's? Why search for spirituality on tv or some famous person? Why search for spirituality from someone peddling hope or from government hand-me-downs? Why search for spirituality any where but the Source? We live in dangerous times and seek after a false spirituality.

I have always believe you must go to the source. Never go on what someone else's word. God's Word is my Source for Right Ways and for keep watch over the dark and evil ways.

As I was reading II Tim 3:5-7, I was stopped in my tracks because here I saw something laid out in Scripture that was an actual description of a predominant tv female person who reaches homes all over the world. It was kind of frighting.

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.
People .... having a form of godliness but denying its power.
Have nothing to do with them.

They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women,
who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires,
always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.


This is very dangerous for women because we can be swayed. The only way to not get caught in this web is to feed on the Word as much as you pray and we are to pray w/o ceasing! Having a relationship with God is a two way street. Don't be the only one having a gab fest! Let God do some major talking.

All Scripture is God-breathed
and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
II Tim 3:16-17


So Whom is your Source for your spirituality?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

FEAR NOT!!!

Instead of resolutions I choose a theme for each year as a way to seek God on something that I would like to enrich in my life. It isn't about change or self-help but rather seeking and having God-Help in my life. Some years I don't have a theme and what is cool is that God brings a theme into my life just like He did this year.

Towards the beginning of the year the whisper of ~fear not~ began. I saw it in that God never has told us to be discouraged or defeated. He is always saying to ~fear not and to take heart~! I just want to shout because it moved me so. Then September hit me like a freight train on a frantic mission of speed and evil - an old relationship tried to come back and the combining of two companies then with the $markets in a tailspin, I had feelings of sadness and wonderings. God sent in the sparrows so that I could hear His ~fear not~. My strength was renewed and I want to spread it to my family as each of us is affected since 3 of us have manufacturing jobs.

I am so thankful to have these two weeks off here in December even if it is because my place of work is teetering on the unknown. I have been on the go for so long and so fast, this calm is so welcomed and enjoyed. I do not know what January holds but I shout back that God took care of me with one job loss, He will take care of me in this one.

Who knows, maybe there will be a new beginning in work that I am passionate about! Last time God gave me the gift of JOY. So all I can be is excited and expectant for what He will bring!

I do feel frustrated when I see the men in my life get bogged down by the pressures of work and their loss of providing for their loved ones. I know this is crucial in a man's life so how does a girl reflect this ~fear not~ message into a man's life? I don't know but to quietly express it and convey to them how good they are in the providing. God will be showing me the way of encouraging because I seek ...

I am making a list of ~fear not passages from His Word. Try it! I using the Blue Letter Bible.com to do my study.

'The Lord Himself goes before you
& will be with you;
He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Do not be afraid;
Do not be discouraged.'
Deut 31:8

'For I the Lord thy God will hold your right hand,
saying unto thee, FEAR NOT;
I will help thee.'
Isa 41:13

'FEAR NOT for I have redeemed thee,
I have called thee by thy name;
thou art Mine.'
Isa 43:1

'Wait on the Lord,
Be of Good Courage
& He will strengthen thine heart ♡'
Ps 27:14

'I, even I, am He
Who comforts you.
Who are you to be afraid of mortal man?'
Isa 51:12

'The Lord will not allow the righteous soul to famish.'
Prov 10:3

'.. if God is for us, who can be against us?'
Rom 8:31

'The Lord gives strength to His people;
the Lord bless His people with peace.
Ps 29:11

'Look to the Lord
& His Strength;
Seek His Face always.
Remember the Wonders He has done,
His Miracles & the judgements He pronounced.'
Ps 105:4-5

'Rejoice in Christ Jesus
& have NO confidence in the flesh.'
Phil 3:3

'For God has NOT given us the spirit of fear,
but of POWER, and of LOVE, and of a SOUND MIND.'
II Tim 1:7

'And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead.
And He laid His Right hand upon me, saying unto me,
FEAR NOT; I am the First and the Last.'
Rev 1:17

'Who shall not fear Thee, O Lord,
and glorify Thy Name?
For Thou only art Holy:
for all nations shall come and worship before Thee;
for Thy judgements are made manifest.'
Rev 15:4


So quake on earth, I SHALL NOT BE MOVED!

Merry Christmas & FEAR NOT!

FEAR NOT for behold,
I bring you Good Tidings of Great Joy
which will be to all people.
For there is born to you this day in the city of David
a SAVIOR, who is Christ the Lord.'
Luke 2:10-11

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

secret things vs. revealed things

I have been wanting closure then taking it back on a friendship with someone who was very important to me. There was no fight only long talks which have left me with a lot of good memories. This person left. I have spent 4 years trying to close the door. I would love to have a final conversation so I can get rid of him but honestly I would rather he come back. So I sorta want a closure but don't want to. I hate ugly and friendship endings are always ugly.

A warning: When you seek, you better be ready for an answer! God has given in Deut 29:29 my closure. I do not have to trust man's lame excuses. I can still pray for this person and still cherish him without getting mean and upset with him when and if I would get the chance. So I will take God's closure and know that He is at work and working out His Best for me and more importantly 'THROUGH' me. Just maybe this friendship I had wasn't His Best for me but rather maybe what I did or what we talked about helped and just maybe is continuing to echo His Word into this person's life. I did write a boat load of letters via snail mail and email. (Talking too much is probably the reason he vanished!)

The secret things belong to the Lord our God,
but things revealed belong to us
& to our children forever,
that me may follow all the words
of the law.
Deut 29:29


Ahhh, yes! The secret things belong to the Lord my God. This special person and his vanishing act belong to the Lord, never for me to understand or to know until God decides to reveal it to me even when my heart pipes up from the back and shouts out about Proverbs and the message there that understanding and wisdom are very important things to achieve in my life. I then have to calm my quaking heart with ''those who know God's Name will put their trust in God; for God the Lord have not forsaken those who SEEK HIM.'' (ps 9:10) By seeking God and His Word things revealed are before me to follow and obey. Obeying God is expressing my love to Him and in return obedience brings blessing - disobedience brings punishment.

I have enough revealed things to keep my heart and me very busy!

secret things:
*vanishing act by a very dear one

revealed things:
* a list of must haves so I will recognize the one
* a more God-confident me with more God-confidence to go
* I truly loved someone else - a work that I wanted to do forever
* fearing not a single hood future no matter what age... {hard swallow}
* if I have that 'fear' about something, I will speak up & not stuff it down
ie: his leaving - I knew he would leave but never told him this.
* Proverbs 18:1 & 24 - wrong to be insular - must show yourself friendly BUT if it doesn't work, if you love & love is denied in return there is SOMEONE WHO IS A FRIEND WHO STICKS CLOSER THAN A BROTHER. Jesus Christ loves me and will never forsake me! AMEN!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

LIFE!

After having a very heated argument over pro-life or pro-choice, God has been bring life/death situations and His Word to my attention. Like the a father in England emailing his children in the States about his choosing the assisted suicide in Sweden and having it viewed on the web for all to see. A previous assisted suicide was either a soccer or ruby player also of England who was paralyzed at the neck down and decide it wasn't worth living anymore. Just sad. I have to give a disclaimer here. I am very empathic and what I mean is that I lean in and listen to people's life stories and passions. Then I try on their shoes and walk in their path. So life to me isn't a cheap and easy answer.

A co-worker told me about her husband's fast moving cancer that claimed his life in a matter of 11 months! I couldn't help but have some private and personal questions about how much I would do to save my life if I was facing a cancer monster. Would I go through all the 'treatments' to have it claim my life anyways? Then I felt very conflicted over these suicides..

Then God reminded me of His Blessing for us when we choose life. ''See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in His Ways, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to His Voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and He will give you many years in the land He swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. ~Duet 30:15-20 No it isn't easy but remember God has given us Joni who after a diving accident that broke her neck leaving her paralyzed to this day. It has not been easy yet she choose life! I will have to dig out her book but I do think she thought of ending it all. Not so anymore. Look at the blessing God has poured into her life!

Now if I can harbor this Word in my heart so that it flows out naturally when an old friend calls me, maybe she will see God and see how precious life truly is ....

A little side note that in a way fits here because choosing life is obeying .. I found a recent saying that I wish I had in my growing up years. 'Obedience brings blessing. Disobedience brings punishment.' Do you know that the best way to love God is to obey?