surface vs depth ...

I need this blog. I know this because when I lost the depth person, I was becoming anger and anger. Then when I was able to think on white screen, I found myself peaceful. It is like being able to exhale after breathing in. I am a thinker and that is who I am. I cannot change it. Yet as my birthday came and went I thought 'Whew, middle age isn't so bad but now I am having major loneliness issues again and what am I do with all that I am?' It seems my work life and my home life are at odds and I become a misfit inside.

When I was able to indulge with another deep person, he always mentioned the desire of meat and potatoes but he never had time to read my (ok, I must admit they were long) emails that where laced with depth. Then when we talked we always had fun and did talk depth until he got too tired and didn't have time for that anymore. Even as he wanted meat and potatoes, I secretly was thinking shouldn't there be some dessert?

My blog counter has recently cleared the map to restart the numbering. It gives you a chance to see what the numbers of visitors have come within the past year. The maps are archived. Sadly, for the 3rd year in a row the numbers have halved. I know my writing has been suffering and I have a new craft addiction and I am visiting/listening to more blogs so maybe I need to figure something out.

The thing I have been muling over is starting another blog on the lighter side or more to my surface and width side of me because yes, there is that part of me too. I never thought I would do another blog and wasn't sure how to do another because this is the place I put most thoughts about all parts of my life. I have not put pictures here because this is the a place for words and I didn't want to lean on pictures even though I am highly visual in my learning. I wanted my words to express the pictures. I must honor my writing and even get back to the creativity of it.

My list of blogs I visit/ listen to has grown over the past year. I have stumbled up hard core crafters and even other crafters who do their art on the side who have some really cool sites for their crafts. Again I don't want the pictures here even though I do talk about my creative side. So what if I create another blog for my visual side that would encompass my life but more light and less words since pictures are said to be worth more than a 1000 words....???

I love blogger. But even though blogger has come along way on the backside of things, I have tried to change the background. That comes with a lot of time and know how. It is just too messy and then I don't write. Yes, they have come a long way with the pictures but I think tumbler is more picture friendly. However, I first have to join to see. I just want something simple and easy so that I can spend more time on the writing or dropping in the pix and go. So maybe there will be another blog that is more friendly to the readers.... will give me the feedback that I am needing ...

King Hezekiah ...

I have been reading about King Hezekiah in II Kings, II Chron, and Isaiah. I must admit that this is the first time I have heard of this king! As I take in his story, I wonder at the relationship between God and King Hezekiah.

Here Hezekiah has been made king and he goes about tearing down not just the idol worship in the towns and country but he goes after the high places where past kings had allowed it. He made sure the Levites who had more zeal than the priests cleansed themselves and temple and then to all the people. King Hezekiah really cleaned house! I was really excited about that because there is always blessing in obedience...

Hezekiah gets sick and asks for 15 more years of life and God grants it. Isaiah writes King Hezekiah's thanksgiving in his book. Then something interesting is mentioned in II Chron. King Hezekiah has a prideful heart! I am scratching my head wondering where this is coming from! I will have to do more research. The king does repent.

Then King Hezekiah did a really questionable thing in my mind and I am still puzzling over it. After he cleaned house and even made improvements on the water ways, he began to show the 'enemy' his kingdom. I am thinking 'stop! don't do that! You don't show all your secrets to the enemy!' Well, the enemy does decide to attack! The taunt the kingdom but the people did not listen as King Hezekiah told them. Hezekiah consults Isaiah and prays. God does provide protection and the enemy retreats.

I cannot pinpoint why I am puzzling over this king. It has something to do with how much God hates idol worship. Here King Hezekiah got rid of allllll idol worship and there was still issues with Hezekiah's life. Maybe is lies in the pride he had. Isn't pride a form of keeping an idol? Maybe I need to turn this inward - it is not about what I can get away with but how purely I can live my life but to do this with humility.

not an orphan ...

Notes from Ravi Zacharias:
With God:
1. son-ship - not an orphan!
2. worship (giving back to God what He has given us/declaring His Attributes)
3. stewardship - we are to be a caretaker of what He has given us - esp life!
~~~~~~~~
I need this as I seem to be on a quest of figuring out what I am to do with my gifts and talents especially what I am to do with the creativity that I have. Again God nudges me as I seek. Love that with Him. He doesn't teach us the answers but gives us problems to trust Him and to find the answers in Him. Darkest before dawn... {{knowing smile}}

Happy 233rd Birthday!

Not sure why the Forth of July is a favorite holiday of mine... Maybe it is because there is soooo much history here on this land. Maybe it is because men were seeking a place to have the freedom to have a relationship with the Almighty God. Maybe it is because so many were seeking a place of refuge. Maybe it is because this place is a place to for invention and creativity. Maybe it is the colors of the flag. Maybe it is because there are fireworks. May it because of Lady Liberty and the quote on her foundation. Or just maybe every time I sing the National Anthem I can actually see Francis Scott Key writing his poem in a boat offshore and looking for Old Glory.

''Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
& you who have no money
come, buy wine & milk
without money & without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
& your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to Me, & eat what is good,
& your soul will delight in the richest of fare
Give ear & come to Me;
hear Me, that your soul may live.
I will make an Everlasting Covenant with you,
My Faithful Love promised to David.
See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader & commander of the peoples.''

Seek the Lord while He may be found;
call on Him while He is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way
& the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the Lord, & He will have mercy on him,
& to our God, for he will freely pardon.
~ lsa 55:1-4, 6-7

He will be the Sure Foundation of your times,
a Rich Store of Salvation & Wisdom & Knowledge;
the Fear of the Lord is the key to this Treasure.
~ Isa 33:6

There is something about seeking ... It seems that it is a universal quest among humankind even if it is not verbal. The Almighty is a believer's Liberty that stands on the Harbor welcoming us home. He is a Refuge and this beggar and alien of God is trying to tell another beggar and alien where the Everlasting Food and Water is...

I know the good USofA is not my home and I am just passing through, but I feel a heavy burden to hold true to what our Forefathers wanted for this country. I feel ashamed that she has turned away...

my Rest

fireworks 2009

It was a chilly night considering it was July! A jacket was a must and a blanket might have been nice too. Ice cream from a near by shop was eaten by some. One treat looked especially good. The outside was a waffle cone, ice cream, and what looked liked a chocolate block! Oh, but the chilly treat would have been more delicious on a hot day not a cool evening even if fireworks where the main event!

A wonderful soft yellow sunset gave way to bruised clouds and stars. Families gathered with blankets and camping chairs to take in the towns fireworks. Fireflies occupied a moment or two of an anxious little 2 year old waiting for pretties to light up the sky. It was way after her bedtime but she hung on. The adults where anxious for blankets and light jackets as the moon shone brightly. What was unbelievable was how many pups were out! Our brood of three was home in their little dens safe from noise. Oh, how they hate them booms.

Small firework shows started to pop but then the two main events began to light up the sky with ooo's, ahhh's, and delightful squeals from little tikes. Lovers snuggled close on blankets, parents and grandparents juggled a 2 year old who wanted to share the delight of pretties rain in the sky, 'Sity, Sity, look pretties!!' One child pierced the night folly with a tortured scream but as the it came to an end, clapping gave the night lights appreciation of a country's freedom fight.

Fireworks by the Lake last night, fireworks on the tube tonight, and more fireworks looking out my bedroom window tomorrow night? mmmm, priceless! Love a good fireworks!

depending on God vs depression ...

Hmmm, it seems I do have a very important choice. When the blues or grey clouds invade my mind like now, I can fall into despair & depression or I can depend on God. Yes, I know I need to renew the mind and I do but what a battle. I still walk in the dark for a while until the sun begins to appear. Yet at times, I feel I am just glossing over and it is just right under the surface only to rear up quicker.

I could try to figure out where the feelings are coming from but that is old hat. Food, loneliness, messed up plans .. I think all selfish motives if I am going to be really honest at the end of the day. I will keep going into training the brain and rereading God's Love Letter especially the tear stained ones about His Great Love for me. I will busy my hands at creating new things and give them away. I will train myself at reaching out ... instead of decompressing...

I could get my soapbox out but I am going to put it away. However, I will keep the soap out and suds away the dirty windows... I do have a lot of nice gifts in the form of family and pups. I have some neglected gifts that I need to bring out and put in the display like old friendships ... kinda scary because Mom says it is like tennis you have to put the ball in the other court so the other can volley... I do put that ball in the other court but I am always waiting for the return... Maybe I need a new picture to understand the game because I don't get it. Then I have some talent that I have no clue what I am suppose to do with it. I have an overflow of glass unwanted and maybe my amigurumi will begin to fall into the unwanted category as well. Ok, better turn the car around ... I also have some gifts like teaching and encouragement that I am not sure what to do with ...

Well, I better go get busy instead of mopping {{lopsided smile}}

Oh, I got fireworks tonight to enjoy! Must take my patriotic music to enjoy with!!! See, I do have great blessings in my life to count and delight in... offf I go to unwrap!

world destruction ...

I looked out upon the earth and found hollywood's great interest in movies about the destruction of the world. It is peculiar as they seem aware that the world is heading into destruction but yet they still don't want to acknowledge God. It is beyond their fascination of destroying monuments that we hold dear too even if man made. The subtle messages are changing too. They use to focus on America saving the day against the 'cold' world or nations. The focus has changed to where the nations come together and work it out. When triumphant, the world is kinder and united. The faith they show people going back to was the Muslim faith. It was like they wanted to show inclusive and better they were!

The earth will pass away and it will be a melt down of fire. For the truth one must read Revelations. Yes, a tough read but a blessing just for reading it. (Rev 1:3).

God has told us what will come and has promised that the world will not be destroyed again by water (Noah & rainbows) but by fire. He has provided the BAIL OUT PLAN but if you want it you must sign your name now not when it is too late. Jesus Christ has paid your ticket in full. See His nailed pierced hands. Now is the time not later. When you find yourself in the too late days and no matter how little there is to hold on to when the world comes under His Heavy Hand, you will be in torment and yet your heart has little chance because every time you say no to God and His Son, your heart hardens more and more...

stars are falling ...

I have looked out upon the earth only to find an obsession over the body. There is an excess of ink like they can't get enough of touch. There is an excess of clothes or lack there of like they can't get enough attention. There is an excess of glossing over whether it is plastic surgery or painkillers. I have looked out upon the earth to see that the bottom line is numb out the pain because in earth's view pain is meaningless.

"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 1:2


I have looked out upon the earth only to find that we have not grown up. There is a response as of a teenager. Gossip and rumors flood twitter and then that becomes news. Where is the self control and restraint that grow ups should have? It is sad day to see the earth grow dark when a star falls even when the Sun is out.

'O simple ones, understand PRUDENCE, and you fools, be of an understanding heart. Listen, for I will speak of excellent things, and from the opening of my lips will come right things. ' Prov 8:5-6

Are you seeking? Is there not enough to fill you? Do you feeling worthless? Do you need attention?

Honestly, everyone feels this even if they lie to your face. Man is weak and fails you. Only God can fill you and He never fails... When stars fall, I have the Jesus Christ the Son of God who suffered pain, my pain, so I can give it all to Him to carry. He never fails. The Son never dims or goes out...

Philipians 3:18-21 For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the Cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in Heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, Who, by the Power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His Glorious Body