giving homemade ...

This season I have been acutely aware of the giving of gifts. I had a co-worker tell of her gift giving. She gives of what she has no matter if that means re-gifting. Money is tight, but I think this is the norm for her. I don't think I can do that because I am usually using my gifts! I think re-gifting isn't too bad especially if the gift can be used or is needed by someone else. I have to admit that as crunch time approached, I did look around my house to see if there was anything worthy of giving. I didn't find anything.... lol.

I have had quite a bit of of painted glass leftover from a craft show flop in 2007 that I used and allowed others to dip into this year for gift giving. It came in quite handy especially when I felt moved twice to give something homemade and special. Mom is always making requests and I welcome them. One of my sister-in-laws need teacher gifts for her little preschooler and of course I was quite happy to do so. I want to paint but won't because I have too much crowding my tiny kitchen. The glass stash is getting lower and I will be happy to finally see the end to it. No more mass painting for craft shows. It is too painful to have my little masterpieces go without homes. Forget the encouraging comments! If you really like, buy! Oh well. I have become very self conscious of my painting and crafting abilities. If people won't buy them, do they really want to receive them? And don't tell me that I have them priced too high. I have them at decent rates and even marked them down this year to account for the empty pockets. Grrr! (think I better hush up & change the subject!)

So it has been hard on me to paint and craft without it really going anywhere. So I have decided not to create for money but for giving. I am sick of the last minute rush I find myself every time I make a prezzie. With January being a more quiet month, I am planning the gifts I am giving this year and making a place somewhere in this tiny home to stow them until it is time. I will tag them with the name and event. I will also make 'gift-extras' for those times one might need a gift on the fly. I have been doing some mental note taking on what gifts to make for my special people and I am quite excited. My dream is to have a stress free gift giving at birthdays and at Christmas. I also want the gifts to have good turn around. No more storage of vast amounts!

I will see how my confidence is at the end of the year. Maybe I will have end my quest of the homemade gift. Oh, that will be a hard day ..

karma vs measuring cup ...

I am finding that even though I am not of the world, the world's thoughts and views creep in. This especially happens when the world view is close to our beliefs and when it is a continual drip dripping. I never was comfortable with the notion of karma and when a non-believer co-worker uses it, I decided to take this up with God's Word. How do I make a distinction and give answer to if a moment arises with this co-worker to shed the Truth. This co-worker knows some of the Word but she isn't ready to give her life over to God. She doesn't want to give up the control. She will use the Word for her own points. I am seeing this as a God lesson to quietly seek God on how to spread salt and light revealing the Truth to her.

So with karma here is what you find in the dictionary:
karma |ˈkärmə|
noun
(in Hinduism and Buddhism) the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.
• informal destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.

I don't like the notion of karma first of all it doesn't come for God's Word and it belongs to another religion. I will not nor can I take from other religions and put it into my faith like the lasted poll says Americans are doing.

But isn't there something in God's Word that is like karma? And if there is why can't we use karma interchangeably.....? The first thing I need to stress is that we as Christians are not to think about the ''returns''. We must always repay good for evil. Our trademark is our love to not only our brotherhood but to those who mistreat us. We are never ever to think of the returns here on earth. Giving good should be like a by-product almost without thought. However, the Word does say to store up Treasure in Heaven so there is a Return.

Karma thinks about the returns here on earth. Modern day karma says it aloud as to vindicate their suffering but it is them wanting evil to come to their wrong doer. Here is where the Christian differs. A Christian repays good for evil and they want the best for the wrong doer! A Christians what this wrong doer to have it better. Just maybe this wrong doer will come to Jesus Christ.

In Matthew 7:1-5 and Luke 6:37-42 best shows what a Christian should follow and proves different than karma. This is the measuring cup:
''Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.''

I can here it now... but this sounds like karma. Well, it is about the WHOLE WORD not just part. I read this passage for my giving not for my receiving or my returns. The earthly returns are weak and broken but just think about Heavens Treasure. It is beyond my feeble thought.

This is my seeking and probably incomplete but I know I am on the right track. Always be Biblically correct not politically or socially correct....

instructions ...

It seems that my life is revolving around instructions of late. I shouldn't be surprised because I have been a Amigurumi nut case. Some have a knack for good instructions and others are lazy. After hours and hours of pouring over, reading aloud, and even writing out stitches like a math problem, I should be a pro! This should come in handy when creating my own patterns or if I should teach looming or crocheting... (I would like that!)

Often times after an unproductive night, I toss the project and start talking to God. He has helped me on figure out crochet in the first place and He continues to help. I started loom knitting in 05 and have touched base with it off and on. I have this corkscrew scarf that would be perfect for a bday prezzie coming up in less than a week. Could I figure out the instructions? I was writing out the stitches in my short hand and it just was not figuring right. I was kind of peeved as I had nothing completed which helps me get through the next day! Well the next night, I began again with the rows I understood and then filled in the other rows around it. Then it clicked. So I am well on my way with this beautiful red scarf that is curled just right. However, I think that the creator of the pattern should have wrote out the pattern in a grid so that it made more sence. Oh well, if I struggle at a pattern and figure it out, all the treasure is mine!

But I had a nightmare over instructions last week. I have this new camera that needed a SD card because it only handles up to 6 pictures without memory. That wasn't going to work! I bought the SD card and as I was headed home, the moon was full and was slightly hidden in some thin clouds. It was night and I gasped a thank You to God for such a beautiful scene. I couldn't get home fast enough to get the camera ready for a night picture. I wanted to see what kind of job it did. I followed the instructions to the T. It even had pictures with the instructions. The SD card got stuck and I couldn't get it out. A couple days later I used pliers to get it to come out. I was livid. I took it to Dad and with out instructions or my prompting him with the 'correct' way, he flipped it and it slid in and he pushed it a bit and it pops out. I was following instructions so why ignore and do it the other way? Well, so it shows that not all instructions are perfect and Dads are the best heros!

Well, when it comes to earthly instructions, don't be afraid to question it. But always remember there is only One True Instruction Book that is perfect in every way. It is God's Word and His Word is purified seven times over.

Psalms 12:6
The Words of the Lord are Pure Words,
like silver tried in a furnace of earth,
purified seven times.

me in 40+ years!

On Sunday I listen to a mid-80 year old woman speak. I was blown away! I met myself in 40+ years from now if I do not allow the world to wear me down or defeat me. I had a comment spoke of me that they had never met a person like me who is forever changing/growing. I took it as a compliment because I strongly feel that as a Christian we must never remain the same. God should be working on us and if He isn't then we have rejected His Workmanship on us. So it was exciting to see this white haired lady so exuberant over the things she is learning.

So often as I look to my elders, I see little old ladies who grump and poke at you like the one lady I hugged on Sunday who said ''I see you clipped your hair again. I suppose you get tired of me saying that.'' Ok, so why did she open her mouth. I have been spending every morning telling my reflection that I trimmed the unruly and you are looking fine. Grrrr, I have a love hate relationship with the hair and I don't need people poking at me. I keep reminding myself never grow up poking and grumbling at other people. I want to be a beautiful old lady who is vibrant and growing!

Here is some wisdom from an ever growing more beautiful mid-80 year old woman:

* discover your yes so you can say no to everything else.
* happiness is determined by outward circumstances
joy is determined my inner circumstances
*the GIFT we fail to give so often is presence
be where your body is
* joy & pain can coexist
let your pain be fruitful
*excited about being INCOMPLETE b/c that means God has to be with me.

Love that! I shall now stop getting frustrated for not learning fast enough!!!

The Blind Side ...

This movie is off the chart topping a great must see. I am a big sap and a huge believer in dreams. I root for the underdog every time. I also cheer for the down and outer who climbs up out of whatever mess he might be in and walks tall. This movie covers it all. Each character steals the show! You will cry. You will cheer. You will be amazed at the Momma instinct and wonder if you have it in yourself.

We often are sooooo busy with our own stuff and our own lives that we do not see others out there in pain. Listeners are too few among us. I don't mean just the ears either. Listeners must have eyes to see without asking. Listeners must also have no fear and a focus razor sharp. When Listeners act, they change the world.

Then there are those rare finds. A gentle giant who looks scary but is a softie on the inside. They too can change the hard edged world with their soft ways.

I got to find the children's book called "Ferdinand the Bull" and read it. It is in the movie.... so you might want to read it if you didn't have that read to you as a child or if it has been a while...

12+ stars !!!!

(p.s. I got my father to go to the movie which is a hard thing to do. Movies don't interest him much. He liked this movie and thought Sandra did an outstanding job as the mom. I had to ask my parents if they saw Tim Mcgraw in the movie and they said no. He is the dad. Noooooo! He doesn't look like himself!! Well, two thumbs up from my parents too)

my thank yous '09

* God's Word * I started with verses written out on 3x5 cards back in 2003 when I lost my job the first time. Then I learned about 'butterfly wings' where something in the Old Testament is repeated in the New Testament so I started to search out butterflies in the Bible. (p.s. our lives should reflect the Word as Jesus Christ is the Word and we should be like Jesus.) Then I started carrying a New Testament around with me especially to work. 2007 was a job description change and the learning part was hard so I would go to the Word for encouragement. Then I would read Proverbs according to the day since there are 31 Proverbs. It was sooooo alive. Now back to the butterflies the more I read the more I find butterflies. This year with the jumbled up work mess, I began to read the Bible chronologically every day. In today's world I don't see the foundations of the churches out there being very strong especially for future generations. I in way am sensing the last days more so than ever before. Amazing enough I am longing for my HOME COUNTRY. With the church thing we as a family are at a cross roads as we think the pastor is not a true shepherd. With that I am soooo thankful that I know how to read and that I have my own copy of the Word. There was a time where the people where at the mercy of the pastors - not so any more. I am sooo thankful for the Holy Spirit. Being a Christian allows my soul to be open to the Holy Spirit teaching. * crochet - Amigurumi * I wanted to make granny squares because they were little but it wasn't enough for me to learn crochet while I had my Grandma. I did pick up the looms in about 2005 to knit things like hats and scarves and purses but I noticed that something online. It was these really cute tiny crochet toys. I was envious! I always loved the small things especially small stuff animals. I had a small stash when I was a little girl and as a big girl to make them? priceless. Problem: I do not know of anyone who was willing to take the time out to teach me. Plus, once a crocheter they never seem to know how to slow done enough to teach you and there you are left struggling with more frustration. So I would look longingly at the crochet book I had. Sometimes I would try and others times I would just turn my back on it. This past January after being able to see actual still pictures of crochet I could see what loops the hook was actually go in and out of. I finally accomplished it all by myself. I don't give credit to my brain rather the credit goes to God because I get so impatient and He is so patient. I would tell Him of my struggle and in time things came together. The other thing about Amigurumi is that it has been a really fun and interesting journey that has kept my heart occupied when my work path is sketchy. * work * I lost my accounts payable job in April and was called back to work in Costing. Sadly, I do not like my job but thanking God for my job has kept my head above water. It pays for the Amigurumi path and it feeds me. I have no right to complain. May was a mess because I couldn't get unemployment to work. I must remember to use what I learned in AP for my costing job - take my issues to God and He will see me through.... * Mom & Dad * I am so grateful for my parents. I remember how Dad really was a shoulder of strength when the costing job became available to me to me. He didn't tell me that it was wrong to feel mad that I would have do costing again! I love my Dad. Mom is always the confidant and friend. Even though we can't do our Friday outings, we have been able to connect with each other when I have my unemployment weeks. She always believes in me and my craft. * sitting with my niece * My niece has been sick on my unemployment weeks so I have been able to go care for her. I was unsure about my parent skills since I have no kids of my own. After hearing a Bible teacher talk about the right way of parenting, I took this with me and found it worked. However, just inviting God in on it is the most important. * the PUPPERS * I love my fury boys. Bobby, Andy, and Tink are so fascinating to work with and to love on. Their personalities are just so animated. We brought home bags this past Tuesday. Andy loves inspecting the bags. Tink wanted his cookie so after the quiet for the cookie was over, Andy went back to the bag. His little tail stump was just moving. He was soooo frantic. Then I realized that was the bag for the bones Mom had got for them. OH Boy, every one had to have their bones with my grumping to ward off unwanted company. Too funny. * bros & their fams * I love my bros. It is good to have brothers who you get along with. They are in the midst of growing their families and it is good to see them growing up. * God * When you seek Him, He reveals Himself. Being in the Word, He is so alive! I just can't get enough. I love it that I am more in love with Him than ever before and I want that love to be more and more as the years tick by...

08 thank yous

jottings ....

Just some writing exercises I did on Monday ...

Morning
early grey
Lucia is sick
I'm coming to her
Love.


Pottery
blue white
mountains, clouds, birds
simplistic lines, calming place
Inspiration.


Quiet
whirling heater
Lucia is napping
warming up my thoughts
Brainstorming.

heralding the love truth ...

As I was waiting for the diagnosis of the front passenger tire and feeling very caught up in being a single girl at the mercy of the male and struggling with how to communicate as a God-fearing woman, I dug out my Bible memory 3x5 cards. I rested upon Habakkuk 2:2-3.

"Write down the revelation
& make it plain on tablets so that the herald may run with it.
For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end & will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come & will not delay."

The 'revelation' part scared me a bit but as I thought about it like taking a glass cup and putting it to the light to inspect the clarity, I prayed for a small revelation about my impasse over the marriage for us vs marriage for him. Habakkuk is an Old Testament prophet who had complaints that he brought to God. Habbakkuk 2:2 is the beginning of God's answer. I know my complaint is different but I prayed this verse also knowing that in Dueteronomy 29:29 says:

"The secret things belong to the Lord our God,
but the things revealed belong to us
& to our children forever,
that we may follow all the words of this law."

I had been coming across a lot of verses about marriage being ALL about the man. I was getting these feelings that I never had before that a wife duty is to totally be a servant especting nothing in return. I began to wonder if I had allowed the world's phophosy mess up God's true intent. So I prayed Habakkuk 2:2-3.

With my small request of a revelation, I know it must speak of the end. To me it means that this speaks of what is Eternal. It may take time but the revelation comes at the right time. So I waited.

My wait ended that afternoon when I was listening to a Bible teacher say that a man is to love his wife. Yes, I already know this but the Holy Spirit prompted me to go over the love list in I Corinthians 13:4-8:

"Love is patient, Love is kind.
Love does not envy, Love does not boast,
Love is not proud.
Love is not rude, Love is not self-seeking,
Love is not easily angered,
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but Love rejoices in truth.
Love always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails."

Ok, that is a huge task! Even though the woman's respect list is short but wide, a man's love list is tall but very deep. But if you are the wife receiving this kind of Love, she is receiving a ton! If she is receiving all of this, then it isn't alllllll about giving and giving ...... Yes, there are times when a woman will give without much in return but it is far better then me beginning to think that there is NEVER a return.

So here is my small revelation and I herald it. It is so easy to get messed up. Just seek God and He always reveals the answer or Himself. Don't forget there will be God-Secrets that He will keep to Himself but what is revealed is ours.