first gleam vs full light of day ...

Thursday's morning drive into work rewarded me with brilliant soft yellow white sun rays shining through moody blue clouds.  Moving south I enjoy the warmth of sunrise on my left cheek.  It is like being kissed by God.  Turning east my eyes glaze in awe of His Masterful Artwork!  I had to capture a few clicks to sear it into my memory.  Its a feast for my soul as I start a work day.

This Thursday was going to end differently than just another day in and day out.  The news I was to receive & process was going make this morning's sunrise a little bit more permanently etched on my soul.  At 11:15AM my cousin Jim walked onto Heaven's shores.  What?  He's only four years older than I!  Just should not be!

This Thursday waves of childhood memories flooded my daydreams & my tears released emotions that I could not speak.  My cousins are all older than I except one so I generally was in awe of them.  I'm finding myself pausing here as the memories again like snapshots flick across my mind.  Grandma L kept showing up.  My heart bubbled up just thinking of a young Grandma waiting there on Heaven's shores with arms wide open to receive Jim in a ferocious hug right after Jesus.  Oh, how I have tears because of this earthly loss!  Oh, how my heart aches for his wife's loss & for the son who lost his dad too soon!  But behind this pain is a Joy inexpressible!

Being born into the Family of God gives me such an uncontainable & unmeasurable Assurance that death has truly lost its sting.  Oh, it still hurts here & its work to keep setting Jesus ever before me when the world does its best to drown Him out.

As another morning dawned, God's Word did too.  The Divine Author pens in word pictures that this student leans in for more.  Proverb 4:18 says "the path of the Righteous is like the first gleam of morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day."  Remembering the previous day's sunrise & remembering Jim, family twice over, I began to fuse these two pictures together...

Always before I stopped the picture at the sunrise because sunrises can be so dramatic with its God-Fingers slicing through the shadows of the trees.  Full light of day was like the show was over.  I just hadn't fused the two pictures together correctly.

The first gleam of dawn pierces through the shadows & clouds.  Isn't that just how it is with the Righteous?  God's Sonlight pierces right through our shadows of sin, pain, sadness, & darkness.  As a child of God grows more & more like Jesus, the child shines ever brighter.  The full light of day came for Jim as he walked onto Heaven's shore.  We've seen the special effects so we have an idea but Jim knows full well.  The full Light of day consumes all the sin, pain, sadness, & darkness.  No more shadows.  No more sad tears.  No more falling short.  No more struggle.  The brilliant soft yellow white once gleam is full light so bright for Jim.  Its exciting to see new believers grow as Jesus gleams through them but oh, as believers gathers days & years, the shadows seems to grow longer & longer, believers yearn & ache for the God's Perfecting Work in them & for those promising Golden Shores.  Full Light of Day.

I will always delight in God's beautiful sunrises but there will be no stopping there for me.  I will relish the Light!

 When we all get to Heaven
 What a day of Rejoicing that will be
 When we all see Jesus
 We'll sing & shout the Victory!

I'm starting the Rejoicing early...

Salvation =
new creation
Family
a sure Strength
purpose
Victory over death
Heaven
Jesus Christ our Groom
Union
reunions
JOY overload & beyond measure

to have & to hold ... 50 year tribute!

June 18, 2016

Dearest Mom & Dad,

What an honor to have 50 great years of marriage with one another!  I am so proud of you!I have been blessed to experience 47 of those years.  I loved discovering your wedding day pictures.  Peering into those bright young faces ready to start this new adventure called marriage, I can’t help but think you made young love so beautiful.  Memories like photos come to mind.  It is varied with downs, sideways, & ups — all cherished & loved.

There are those leaking tents, laundry mat trips, compliments of well behaved kids, going to church, having a missionary in our home, making a Navaho hogan from popsicle sticks & ‘mud’, frozen pipes that burst, leaking trailer roof, skinned chins, skinned knees, broken arm, library trips, reading to & giving me the world of learning through books, family vacations, long car rides, bickering kids, all the wonderful cats & dogs we have adopted or in one case we were the ones adopted, teaching the art of riding a bike (bushes), afternoons at the pool, Dad’s flowers, pulling weeds in the garden, expecting a baby brother, buying a house (411 S Greene, our impossible dream - Jehovah Jireh), moving, teenage angst & silent sulking, band contests & trips, teaching the nuances of driving a car (bushes), leaving your child at college, gallbladder surgery, diverticulitis & surgery, support for buying house & being the movers, diabetes, not feeling good because of the heart value,  clean up after storm damage, & open heart surgery make a wonderful collage of memories that have made us a home.

There is a perfect picture in Psalms 1 of what your marriage has been for my brothers & me.  Your marriage is a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season & whose leaf does not wither.  One word — prosperous — for the Lord has watched over your marriage & home.  You have given us strong roots watered by the Living Waters of Salvation.  This is treasure stored in Heaven.  You have stood against the ways of the world & have instilled in us to love God & to enjoy Him forever.  This is the shade of soft breezes that you cast by standing tall & not withering under the heat.  The fruit of love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control has been given in full abundance in your home.  You gave us boundaries, teaching us that the thou shall nots was for our protection & the thou shalls was blessings.  Thank you, Mom & Dad, because of 50 years of wedded covenant together now I can be a sheltering tree to those who come my way.  You make vintage love more beautiful than young love!

‘too amazing for me … the way of a man with a woman’  proverb 30:18-19

1st little girls' sleepover ...

4yo ~

"Your house is beautiful."
It is only the 'mud room'!!!

"I peed in the shower!"  -  She erupts in wild squeals and giggles!
Welllll, how do you transfer a slippery wet child to the toilet without a major catastrophe?  No harm, no foul!  

"Why do you live alone?"
I have no husband.  This little one is alllll about marrying her boyfriend ... on and on... Trying to convince her that boys have cooties!!

*** What a delight this little one is!  Full of giggles and loves miniatures.  A child after my own heart.  My house is better than disney world for her!  She was willing to try new things like taking a shower rather than a bath.  And she comes up with the wildest things.  Like before she came over to my house she asked if I cooked.  She is just the cutest!!!  I lovvvvvvvvve how she says my name!!!!  I don't want her to stop.  I just melt!  Thinking I should change it to what she calls me!!

8yo ~

"Why do you have American flags all over the place?"
Well, that is the decor of my house.  I love the founding history.  Sadly, my pride is zero since recent current events.  

"My tummy hurts."
Wasn't sure what was going on -- a ploy? Or was the medication eating the tummy.  I fixed some warm yummy oatmeal.  She ate and that seemed to help.  We had some good one on one time.  She fixed up some star ice cubes with blueberries.  We made fizzy drinks with lemon sparkling water with the party ice cubes for breakfast.  Oh! Don't mix the lemon with the blueberries!  Good grief, this child with her foods!

"I don't want to sleep in a strange room for the first time."

I say, "your sister is sleeping in here too."

"A four year old can't protect me."
It escalated to the point she was crying and wanting her mommy.  I had to do some quick thinking and get this shut down before major melt down.  Well, I think we had just passed into melt down mode.  Help!!

I said, "you won't have everyone around you all the time to protect you but you have Jesus.  He watches you all the time.  All the lights are on and I have to get ready to bed.  Let me take care of things and I will be back and sit here awhile reading while you fall asleep.  While I am taking care of things, you talk to Jesus and tell Him you are scared and ask Him to help you fall asleep."

I come back and she is on the verge of sleep.  I read a chapter or so of my book and as I leave her breath is even.  She is fast asleep.  As I go to sleep I ask Jesus for her to sleep at least till 7ish.  He is Good.  She was up a little after six.  Not bad at all.  Just more one on one time with her.  

***  What a fascination this girl is.  She is a first born and can have a tude at times.  I get that.  I've been there and done that.  I so want to help her get ahead start on understanding attitudes and how JoY can help her.  She lovvvvvvvvvves games and crafts.  I have not figured out why she likes crafts.  She doesn't want to do the same craft over and over.  It always has to be new.  Yet, I find her wanting to save patterns so she can take it home and do it again.... what? again?  Anyways, I would love to crack the code and find something crafty that she can just dive into and soar all by herself.  I know she loves to make cards.  That has been my starting point....  She loved my craftcave.  I would love to show her how to organize her room into a little haven of craftiness.  

I have started a journal between us while she comes and stays at MeeMee's house this summer.  It is a way to ask her questions that might be difficult to say face to face.  Her biggest fear is her parents dying, her sister dying, and her cats dying.  One of her cats is struggling with life...  Whew! Big fear for an 8 year old.  A big fear for a 46 year old too.  I replied as best as I could -- even the pet fear.  

Ahhhhhh, wonderful moments to collect!!!!

Papaw asked the girls if they saw any animals in the woods at my place.
What?  The animals were inside the house!

to carry a little life ...

I am a story collector.  I am a story keeper.  I like to listen to someone's story.  I like to understand what makes them tick, what makes them smile, and what makes them sad.  I am emotionally vested. It is treasure in the raw.  I have a vast library of stories and as I think stories begin to come together and dots begin to connect and my thoughts enter into new territory.  Often these stories are kept within my library for my own pondering but sometimes the story must be told...

I have a co-worker friend whose story has a similar vein as me and my nieces.  She once opened up to tell me about her child that she miscarried.  I have not experience this in my family sphere when she was telling me.  My heart ripped for her as she stated that she often wonders about this child she will never know.  Inside my heart I am screaming 'I will see this little one and you too can if you fellow Jesus'.  I don't say it aloud.  I want her to hear not shut me down.  Maybe another time ...

Another story comes by a book.  This child is a child with a lot of health problems and does not have many days on earth.  As the story unfolds it is how the mother and father cope with the health issues and with not knowing how long they have with this precious little girl.  I don't remember the title of the book.  Some of the details are foggy.  I am thinking the little girl's name started with an A like Angie or Angel.  What I do remember well is the 'vision' the mother had.  The mother was awake and this dream was of comfort.  It was God surrounded with little children and He was telling them that He has  parents who wanted a baby and He had a tough assignment.  He wanted to see who was up for the challenge.  He went through the list.  Hands went up but then as the list got harder and harder, the hands weren't going up except for one.  This little girl called Angie said she was willing to undergo all of the heath issues and limited days on earth.  This is just a paraphrase and I so wish to find that book!  But what I remembered most about this was how it comforted the mother to know that God had a purpose for this precious baby as well as for her and her husband.  It changed the mother perspective and renewed her weary soul that if Angie could sign up for this hard challenge, she could be up for this challenge as well.

Another baby story comes from Joni Erickson Tada.  Again I don't remember all the details but I do remember Joni saying that this mom knew that something was wrong with the baby and the baby wasn't going to live.  The mom so determined to give this baby in her womb all her best and to be proud to have carry this baby as many days God would give.  I was thinking wow..... to have presence of mind to be joyful and not wallow in grief and loss... I don't think I could do that.

Another story is King David's baby story.  He lost a baby.  He grieved and morned and prayed over the baby but when the baby died, he washed himself up and morned no more.  The people around him wondered at this.  King David's reply was that he could not bring the baby back but that he would go unto the baby meaning that when he died he would go unto this baby.

I've squirreled these stories away never knowing if I would ever need them.  I am not a mother nor will I ever be one.  I do have a mother instinct and vision so maybe some day I could use them....

News! My little brother and wife are having a baby.... lasted all of twelve weeks.  The little one was the size of a blueberry.  I was still in the process of accepting the idea of another pair of feet pattering around.  A new personality to discover and enjoy.  Gone.  Never to know ... at least not here on this earth.  Heaven and eternity though will be ours  to know each other ... so hard to wrap my mind around.  What comfort can I bring to my brother and his wife?  I have these stories.... they are a comfort to me but how do I be a storyteller....?

taking a wife ...

Cancer took another wife today.  Yes, women are like a fine china teacup and men are sturdy ruff and tuff  fill a man's hand coffee mug but when it comes to death taking a spouse I always thought a woman could handle it better.  No, they don't want too but to be male and to be the left behind seems so painfully fragile.

"A wife of noble character who can find/
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value,
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
Charm is deceptive,
and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:10, 11, 12, 25, 30

"A wise woman builds her house"
"those who plan good find love & faithfulness."
Proverbs 14:1, 22

a little one on the way ...

...rrrrrring.....rrrrrrrring.....rrrrrrring....

me: "Hello?"

3yo niece: "Mommy has a baby in her tummy."

Mom comes on after the little niece got tired of talking. She told me that the little niece came in the door telling her that Mommy has a baby in her tummy and Mom says "is she serious?" Niece's mom had a huge grin on her face. My mom has been waiting for this to happen for a while now. Mom is hoping for a boy to round out the little family. I don't know .... wondering if it will be a girl ... but then again a boy would carry on our name.

Mom said that before my little bro and his wife dropped off the niece that they went to their first doctor's appointment and that the niece got to hear the heart beat!! She said the baby is due March the 16th. I informed Mom that they have known for a month and half. She was a bit surprised that the little bro could keep a secret so long.

Mom called me on my google voice and did I even think to record it so that I could share my niece here for you? Nope. I shall she her on Sunday so I just might have to record her talking about the baby. I have a few ideas to keep this memento.... check back!

'o-tay?'

I spent four days with my little niece who has pneumonia. She is two years old and has a great imagination. I totally enjoyed her imagination as I didn't have to come up with something new for her. She always had something new to pretend. One afternoon she made me ice cream. She was saying big words like strawberry and vanilla. Her 'o-tay' was so addictive that I had to mimic her! While doing a potty break, we where playing with spiders. We were walking mommy spider, baby spider, and daddy spider down the wall, across the floor, up the waste basket, and over to her. We played in the kitchen and colored. She is a talker!

On the last day, I was a bit tired because of getting up early and a 45 minute drive to her house. So having her fall asleep in my arms for her morning nap was very delightful. Another delight was to hear her say 'I like you.' What a beautiful child. It helps too that I can see me in her.

It was also nice to have God show me how to 'parent' and then allow me the workshop to see it work.. We have muddle up parenthood that I had become quite frustrated with the whole thing. I felt with some of the baby-sitting I did as a teen and later with teaching that I just wasn't a leader and plus way to strict for this generation thing.... but these four days have shown me that with God, I can be a good parent...

little bro's big day ...

Saturday was a day you really couldn't predict the weather. All week it was rainy or sunny. The day of claimed only 30% chance of rain. The morning started early with a bit of sun and lots of wind. Dad was doing a lot of wind fighting with the vehicle. This was going to be the first time to get on the inside of the gym / auditorium. Wow! Pretty nice! It was like a small version of what you might have at a big sports arena. Big screens everywhere so that every seat had a good view.

Little bro graduated with his master's degree in counseling. What was a surprise was that he was doing so with magna cum laude honors!! He didn't even know until rehearsal! Our aunt said that he should wear his yellow cords to his job interviews!! She is a riot! But I must say sounds like a great idea!

I was very moved during the ceremony because of being able to come back to my college and sing some old hymns that the churches around here are throwing out the window. ( I asked bro if the college was still singing the hymns and he said that they were singing the new stuff. Bummer. However, dad said that the college was going to put emphasis on the hymns because it is an art form compared to the new ditties.) I love the coming in of the flags! There also was flags from every country represented in the graduation. Australia was there! The President of the college spoke very well and encouraged the grads to use their gifts but don't forget to listen. Then there was a prayer with a bit of humor that was needed in a time of struggling for a job. He was a parent of a grad and asked the Heavenly Father for those 3 special words 'job with benefits'. It was just sooooo good.

We walked out into cold and bits of rain! Where did the sun go! We took pictures and headed to bro's house for a party. What was super nice for my mom was that all her siblings showed up. We got to commune together and it was great to catch up. My mom told little bro that it was a very special gift to her. The sun did finally decided to come out as the peeps started to leave. It just was a great time.

hb amigurumies

My nephew and his Mom had birthdays this month and we shall be celebrating today. I made a amigurumies monkey for him. He really loved his sock monkey I made for him this past Christmas so I when I learned to crochet just so I could make all things amigurumies, I had to try my hand at his favorite animal. Yes, I hope to get some smiles - those are the best gifts in returns.

Let me tell you I did get made at the monkey. I had problems with attaching all the extremities to the body. The head was crooked, the arms seemed mismatched in thickness, the tail was sideways, and the legs were twisted. I sent the 'woppy-jawed' (this has to be a word b/c I used and have heard it used by my mom - maybe it is just one of our words!) monkey to the corner for a week before I settled down enough to fix the poor thing. It is better. {smiles}

I told you this story because my little bro liked the bear I made for his daughter that he has ordered two bears to give to friends who are having girls. I didn't like the bear's head. It seemed tooooo square. Remember this is after my little tiff with the monkey, I decided to do the pattern again but instead fuse the head and body together so I would NOT have to worry about attaching the head and the body. This only means that I once I began to finish the head I stopped with 18 scs and began the body since the biggest part of the body is 18 scs. It looked like a light bulb before I attached the legs, arms, and ears. Then I thought maybe I needed more definition in the neck by going down to 12 scs and then back to the 18 scs for the body. Welllllll, it affects the shape of the head. I will see how others like it but bear number two wins my heart (light bulb one!) It has been good to play with this bear pattern and go with something I like! I have some ideas for my own patterns that I want to do and can't wait to do. I do have patterns that I want to try because it will help me get a grip on my own creating since I am such a newbie at this! 3 months!

I am giving a small bird in a nest (amigurumi) to my brother's wife. The reason being is that she is still looking for a job loss. God took her through a job loss before He will take her though it again. The vengeance she might feel belongs to the Lord. She is worth more than many sparrows and those sparrows worry not over food or clothing BUT THEY DOOOOOOOO SING!!!! I am not sure what I will put in the card - oh, I must go and get that finished!!!!

Ps 98:1
O sing unto the LORD a new song;
for He hath done marvellous things:
His Right Hand, and His Holy Arm,
hath gotten Him the Victory.

family taboo ...

I have been having some debate with myself about my personality and what I should do about this alone existence that I seem to have but I am finding that it runs in the family. It is just me though that has to deal with it alone while other members of my family have mates and families of their own.

Going to the funeral of my Dad's cousin helped shed some light onto this sentry-on-the-out-skirts of type of feeling my mother and I have voiced aloud to each other. My Dad and his cousin have some Kenny Roger looks so you know they are related but our families never got together unless it is a funeral. I remember my mother telling me when I was going to junior high that I would be meeting a girl my age with the same last name as mine. (My last name is uniquely spelled and not common.). Mom said there was some taboo in the family and that our families didn't get together to do things. She never said that I couldn't be friends either. However, this girl ran a bit hard and was in the popular group. I was always aware of her but she never seemed to be aware of me until standing beside each other in line practicing our graduation walk where she remarked that it was funny that we didn't meet until then. A year latter I got an obituary of her death from my mom while I was at college. She was an only child and when I got back home to see her grave site, you could tell her parents where not taking it well. I have always felt bad around them that she was gone while I was still here. In recent years as my grandpa, grandma, and grandpa's brothers including my Dad's cousin's father died, the mom would always make feel ok though we never spoke about her girl.

Mom called and told me that Dad's cousin had died of stomach cancer on Tuesday. I knew I needed to go. Mom warned me that she felt left out at the visitation. When we went to the funeral, it felt weird to hear about the cousin's faith. The burial was super short and even though we were invited back for the meal, Dad asked Mom if it was right to skip it! I was very surprised at his struggle to go or not. We didn't go and I ventured to ask questions about the past. Dad opened up and explained why there has been so much taboo.

Back when my grandparents were first married, my grandpa had to serve in WWII even though he was a conscientious objector. He worked for the government in the states so while he was away, his brother which would be the cousin's father would tell my grandma what to do and would write letters to my grandpa telling of her misdeeds. While Dad is telling us this, I am thinking that my grandma was very stubborn that I am surprised that she didn't tell him off but our family does not speak out loud much rather they keep it in and deal with in more quiet ways. Anyways Dad said because of this, it was like Dad's family was ostracized from the rest. He remembers his grandfather always talking about the other grandsons but his grandfather never took any interest in him. He does remember going to his grandparents for Easter because he could remember his grandmother making lamb cookies with raisin eyes but never ever went to his grandparents for his birthday. My Dad remembers that his dad would go to see his mom but my grandma would not go. Just thinking about this makes me livid and sad.

Wow, no wonder why my family feels so isolated. We just don't fit in with the games people play. We can't win so why deal with it? If you like us and want to be a friend, we have open arms but we won't demand friendship or loyalty. We want to feel safe just like the rest. We want to contribute just like the rest. We want to be valued just like the rest. We want a little attention just like the rest - well, maybe a smidge less but a bit all the same. We are friendly just not game players. We are quiet and more one on one and we do feel a bit out of water when in loud and group situations. We definitely do not bite.

So if I get to see the wife of the cousin out and about alone, I will do just like she said and go up to her and say that I appreciated her and her husband that they were so very tight together and it hard to find marriages these days that stick together... I have worried about how she would handle his going home and I continue to worry. At the very least I have prayer. I will continue to be the sentry - keeper of moments and to bear witness...

wiiiiii!!!

I love games and wished for more game time when I was young for mental growth and social interaction. Now that the family is older and more of us, I hoped for game time. Not so much. However, my father bought a Wii a couple of months ago! Can you believe that? (However, we have got to get Dad to play more. Still a bit of a struggle...)

I am not a gamer and never wanted to be sucked into the vacuum world that makes you anti social. Books alone can do that to me when I have gone to another world. I remember back in college in the late 80's early 90's. I didn't like the guys stuck on the games in the lobby. Funny today it seems more out of control. Now I don't mind gamers. I just don't like the anti social feelings associated with them. I already feel out of sorts when it comes to the social scene.

So what makes the Wii different than the other games? It is a social game and it is about moving more than just your thumbs. I love getting my parents to play and all family members can play no matter the age. Memorial Day weekend the four yo nephew was playing with us. Just last Sunday Mom couldn't wait to play tennis that she didn't sneak in a nap before playing. She hated tennis a week ago but finally got the hang of it and wanted to make sure she hadn't forgotten. We've notice the amount of fans along the sidelines watching the tennis matches and Mom isn't happy that I have more fans than her. That is pretty cool of the Wii to make little nuances like that within the games. The better you are in tennis the more fans/Miis you get to watch you! Nifty!

Mom loves bowling and this past Sunday, she hit pro status! So we go and play another game of bowling. She is up to bowl and behind her name is pro. Ok, that is nice. I am watching her bowl and then it my turn. But I couldn't help but wonder about her ball. I asked her if she saw that her ball had stars on it. She said no. It was my turn and we couldn't see her ball any more. So when it was her turn sure enough there were diamonds on her ball. What! She is gets a special ball for being a pro!!!!!!! We were all excited and I just could not help but think that Wii did a real good design job with there game. I can't wait to see what happens in tennis when I hit the pro status. Will I get a special racket? Will I have the statdium rocked out with fans???

Way to go Wii on taking the gaming aspect and making it more social and family friendly!!!

man-harlot/man-whore ...

Dear Daughter,
Having teenagers in the house, our family quiet time has focused on reading the Proverbs daily each month since the book and the month have 31 days. By starting this practice, we hope that when you are out in the big wide world you will come back to the Proverbs and find the strength to stay in obedience with your God. Also being a teenager means you are beginning to test your wings. You are learning to think for yourself. What better way to develop your wisdom than going to a book where the wisest king wrote down God-Wisdoms. Remember King Soloman may have been the wiset king yet he too had times of stumbling but keep the words in your actions. Be tenacious in actively obeying because as you obey, you are loving your God, the first commandment.

Always remember that you at your youngest was a strong little girl in your faith. Nothing could deface God in your bright eager eyes. Sadly as you grow older life and stuff of earth will tear at your flesh and your eyes become dull with pain and your innermost being feels so weak. Get back to that little girl and hold her hand! She has much to teach you about strength and the love God desires from you.

Let me tell you about what will tear at your flesh. I will use strong language not to scare you to tell you like it is. Proverbs 1-10 but especially 5 talks to the men warning them of the harlot. But I warn you of the man-harlot or the man-whore.

A man-whore is smooth and kind. He will give you attention where you have been dry for so long that you think that maybe you have some nasty mole growing on your face that you cannot see. You smirk but tis true. The enemy is a thief and he will steal your beauty and your God-confidence. You will feel so empty. And when you are in the light of the man-whore, you will feel things you never felt but longed for - acceptance. I hope and pray that the hollowness stings you before you walk to far into this false-light. It is my job to build up your faith.

The man-whore will take any form to get you. First he will be a friend but watch because when he starts to persuade you into things that you don't want - RUN! Hide! Proverbs is alllllll about hiding! It is ok to do as long as you hide under God's wing.

What will the man-whore persuade you to do? Bondage. Yes, M&S - the whole master-slave thing. You are called to be free. The whole bondage thing isn't foreign to you because you have grown in the Bible. You know submission. Beware, the enemy is cunning and can make it feel right. Don't hush your faith. God wants you free. Keep reading Proverbs. Submit to God only. No Godly man will persuade you to do anything that does not feel right in keeping with God's word.

The man-harlot is also a pimp. He will use you and sell you. He defames your beauty. Don't think he looks like what the tv and movies portray him to be. He can look safe and trustworthy. He is a one nighter as well as someone you can't get rid of once he has his talons in you. Don't ever get caught. If you do, seek God and He will free you. You will have pain to go through so it is best never to find yourself in this position.

Key things to remember:
If he persuades and persuades you,
If he uses your beauty against you,
If he pays attention to you,
If you hear a quiet voice saying no,
If he defames submission,
If he sells you or cuts you in private or in public,
he is a man-whore and man-harlot. It doesn't matter how simple he may seem. He will become the monster you never thought would happen to you.

I use to tell you that 'nice matters' - while it speaks of respect and good manners, around man-whores your nice becomes your acceptance to what he is selling. Your nice is thrown back in your face with 'so this what your really want'. When you are nice by talking and listening, he will twist this around and claim that you want to be dominated, used, and abused. Oh, they will be cunning alright and dress up the words so they lure you in ever so slow but surely. Don't be nice. Don't be mean. Don't stay. Leave without a word or trace. HIDE.

You may think that you will be safe within a marriage. I know your dreams and yes, Daddy has been a great role model for you and what you are looking for in a man. Thank you, Daughter, for sharing your dreams with me. Know I pray for you every morning and cherish your dreams. Back to plans. Remember God-plans do not go according to your time schedule. You may have a season where you will be and live alone. Maybe it will be a lifetime of aloneness or maybe it be before you meet the man of your dreams or maybe it will be after you spent a season with that man of your dreams or maybe it will be within your marriage that alone comes to you. Just know that you are not safe alone or in a human bond. You are only safe in God-Arms. The enemy is a thief. He even thinks he can pluck you from God-Arms. Keep your faith and turn your eyes to Jesus.

The harlot warning in Proverbs isn't for the young men or your brothers only, it is for you. The days are evil. Monsters lurk everywhere. The enemy is a thief. Protect your beauty. It is your value and the enemy knows it. You remind him of God's Beauty and that makes him livid. The more beautiful you are inside the more he will try anything and everything to kill the beauty in you. Hiding in God will keep you.

I love you, my daughter. You are beautiful. Keep guard. Love your God with all of your strength (physical), mind, heart, and soul. I will always pray for you.

always with love
mom

food, sails, craft ideas...

1. I found a nice eggplant at a farmer's market. I enjoy eggplant and I hope to make a good dish or two from it. I also got pear butter made without sugar. It is better than my own pear jam that I made last year from our bounty of pears. (no pears at all this year!) I will be making corn cakes soon and smearing my new pear butter on it!

2. I enjoyed watching some sail boats on Lake Winona back in my college town. I enjoyed the sights of the place. Very cottage-esk making me wish to have a summer home here.

3. I nosed around crafts today getting ideas for my own painting and ideas or wishes for my home. Oh, to have my shop of glass!!!!!

*Final destination was to sit with my baby niece. First few hours were good but she is stuffy and having her first bit with a cold. She got cranky and cried a lot the last hours with her. When Momma held her, she went to sleep. Grrr.... I wonder how we will bond as she grows.... It is all about what attracts us and what we are willing to bring to the table...

I got one pix of Tink the dog. He was having his nap and was looking very cute but I got no pix of my baby niece. {sniffles}. I was hoping to get a few and a possilbe video clip... another time....

warm hearts ...

She came at 5:55AM today all 7.3lbs and 19ins of her. My beautiful niece! Some babies just don't look so cute and cuddly. But she has beautiful skin. Her first name comes from the new mom and her middle name comes from her great grandma on her father's maternal side. A unique name, Lucia Irene. Light & Peace. {Good choice, you too.} I love the meanings of names. So teach her well and she will become all her name calls her to be.

I went up to see my new niece and there was no competition unlike when my nephew came. I got to hold the darling little obe for over an hour and a half. She laid there sleeping and every once in a while she would get a bit grumpy. She didn't open her eyes. Little bro says she has her mama's lips and can't see our side in her. No, she isn't like her nephew who looked like a spitting image of his great grandpa on his father's paternal side which was slightly eerie but like a whisper of one passing as the other came. I see a ridge right at the eyebrows. Her head tapers at the top leaving full cheeks. You could say that is normal with babies but just maybe she does and will carry the features of her great grandma on her father's paternal side. The great grandma that passed last summer. This grandma carries a heavy brow and strong jowls. Time will tell.

I put my finger in her curled fist and in sleep she would latch her cold litttttttle fingers around my cold hands. A kindred warm heart!!! A moment stilled and quiet. Babies. Mircles. Quiet. Peace. I wonder what her little path will take her. I wonder what our relationship will be like...

Shhhhh, did you hear Him pass?