January :
• the bottom front teeth that have been hurting for the last month where the roots are showing through are all right. One doesn't need gums to keep the teeth grounded.
• Have stopped taking my Jeep Libreety to the big auto place and instead take to a local pop shop.
• After thinking there was no way I would own a home, I took a look and now I must make steps to see if it is truly mine. It has my name all over it.
February :
• Noel is moving! New choices. New changes for him. So much to talk about.
• I've been banging my head against the table over a mortgage loan.
• Buying a house!!!!
March:
• packing!!!!!
• 29th - house key in hand. Moving!!!
• 30th - dropped a frozen turkey on my left foot. Probably broke in two spots - big toe & between little toe & the one next to it.
April:
• cleaning carpets
• hobbling & in pain; foot swollen
• enjoying the wildlife - a black squirrel came up to the back step to say hi!
May:
• still hobbling & some pain
• enjoyed 4 baby raccoons in my back yard.
• painted my craftcave white & move in my crafty bits.
June :
• getting hot out there
• able to wear other shoes than those white slip one tennis shoes.
• painted toe nails purple to let my big toe fit in while wearing flip-flops.
July :
• over 100° for days. Drought setting in.
• Fourth of July week had a young doe come into my back yard at sun set. Wow!
• no fireworks - too dry
• painted my library to be in a dramatic Blue Cloud. The one wall is over eight feet tall and I did it all by myself. The foot wasn't happy with the tiny steps on the latter.
• while babysitting my littlest niece, I discovered swollen lymph nodes in the crease of left leg but I thought it was a hernia.
August :
• The slice and dice doc said the lymph nodes fight off germs and they can get infected and if doesn't get better, they take it out. He turned down the notion that it was quite possible that because my foot was broken and swollen for over two months that the lymph nodes got tired and took one for the team…
September :
• painted my master bedroom in a very dusty purple. It is my jewel box!!!!!
• The verdict is in - some lymph nodes need to come out sooner than later. Will test to make sure it isn't cancer. Very sure that it isn't.
• REALLY? Talk about freaking out!
October :
• 1st - day surgery.
• I've learn to pray that if I must go through this fire, I want my eyes wide open to see God's Presence. He answered according to my personality. I wasn't keen on bearing all but God was there with warm covers! I woke with 'thank You' on my lips and in the single tear that escaped.
• my sister in law is dealing with her health journey & with her mother's.
November :
• began grieving after realizing that my beloved Andy's days were numbered. Tried to catch as much time with him as possible and with photos.
• struggling with letting him go - will I get to see him again.
•. Spent my last Thanksgiving with Andy and he enjoyed his turkey and sitting with me.
December :
• 15th - Andy passed 6 days too late or so I had thought.
• 17th - shared my faith with a fearful coworker over Sandy Hook and my personal lost of my beloved Andy. Again I prayed that my eyes would see Jesus and He showed me that He wasn't late but right on time.
• 20th - NS sister is dying of brain cancer and needs Jesus
• there is no rest during the holiday season because of work.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 30, 2012
fav quotes of 2012 …
• "Don't demand to understand when you don't understand."
~ Pastor Adrian Rogers on waiting on God
• "Don't doubt in the dark on what God has shown you in the light."
~ Pastor Adrian Rogers on not giving up on a God-Given dream / Joseph
• "All encouragement comes from God. "
• "Opportunities multiply when they are seized."
• "Attitude determines altitude. "
• "God is most glorified when I am most satisfied with Him."
• "God is NOT the reflection of your earthly father. He's the PERFECTION of your earthly father.". ~ Louie Giglio
• "The closer you are to the Shepherd the further away you are from the wolf."
• "Growth is intentional."
• "God's Glory is my award."
• "You can't see plants grow but you can't have life without growth."
• "...looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen."
~ Max Lucado
• "It is about focusing on the fight not the fright.". ~ Robin Roberts
•. "Take the next step."
~ Elizabeth Elliot on God's Will
• "too blessed to be stressed"
~ "practice His presence"
~ "count your blessings, cast your burdens" ~ Michelle Bowmen
• "We are at our best when we are shipwrecked on the island of God's Sovereignty." ~ Spurgeon
• "God hasn't promised safe passage but has promised safe landing."
~ Pastor Adrain Rogers
• "You are as young as your faith and as old as your doubt."
• "If you make a choice, God will make the change." from the story Treasures in the Dark.
• "Isn't Sacrifice about burn up?"
~ Elizabeth Elliott
• “The Lord's mercy often rides to the door of our heart upon the black horse of affliction.” ―Charles Spurgeon
• "FAITH is the refusal to panic."
• "Worry is a mild form of atheism."
~ Pastor Adrian Rogers
• "If you want to leave your footprints in the sands of time, you got to put your work boots on."
• "The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration, but its donation."
~Corrie Ten Boom
• "Wisdom begins with wonder."
~ Socrates
• "Who, being loved, is poor?"
~ Oscar Wilde
• "Over confidence in self is under confidence in God."
~ Francie Taylor
• "There is a short distance b/t your head & neck. Look long enough at your halo & the YOU will reposition it into a noose." ~ Ravi Zacharius
~ Pastor Adrian Rogers on waiting on God
• "Don't doubt in the dark on what God has shown you in the light."
~ Pastor Adrian Rogers on not giving up on a God-Given dream / Joseph
• "All encouragement comes from God. "
• "Opportunities multiply when they are seized."
• "Attitude determines altitude. "
• "God is most glorified when I am most satisfied with Him."
• "God is NOT the reflection of your earthly father. He's the PERFECTION of your earthly father.". ~ Louie Giglio
• "The closer you are to the Shepherd the further away you are from the wolf."
• "Growth is intentional."
• "God's Glory is my award."
• "You can't see plants grow but you can't have life without growth."
• "...looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen."
~ Max Lucado
• "It is about focusing on the fight not the fright.". ~ Robin Roberts
•. "Take the next step."
~ Elizabeth Elliot on God's Will
• "too blessed to be stressed"
~ "practice His presence"
~ "count your blessings, cast your burdens" ~ Michelle Bowmen
• "We are at our best when we are shipwrecked on the island of God's Sovereignty." ~ Spurgeon
• "God hasn't promised safe passage but has promised safe landing."
~ Pastor Adrain Rogers
• "You are as young as your faith and as old as your doubt."
• "If you make a choice, God will make the change." from the story Treasures in the Dark.
• "Isn't Sacrifice about burn up?"
~ Elizabeth Elliott
• “The Lord's mercy often rides to the door of our heart upon the black horse of affliction.” ―Charles Spurgeon
• "FAITH is the refusal to panic."
• "Worry is a mild form of atheism."
~ Pastor Adrian Rogers
• "If you want to leave your footprints in the sands of time, you got to put your work boots on."
• "The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration, but its donation."
~Corrie Ten Boom
• "Wisdom begins with wonder."
~ Socrates
• "Who, being loved, is poor?"
~ Oscar Wilde
• "Over confidence in self is under confidence in God."
~ Francie Taylor
• "There is a short distance b/t your head & neck. Look long enough at your halo & the YOU will reposition it into a noose." ~ Ravi Zacharius
Monday, December 24, 2012
accepted wedding invitation?
As the night comes and candle and twinkle lights make merry, I sit in the stillness to send time with my Lord. More than any other Christmas before is the powerful realization of the greatest gift ever - salvation!. Isaiah 61:10 describes it as a grand wedding party. "I delight greatly in the Lord ; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of Salvation and arrayed me in a robe of Righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." Wow!
A very grand party indeed! Beautiful best regal party clothes from His closet because you could never afford them. Look into the faces. They are glowing from His Glory. Eyes bright and smiles megawatt. Then the feasting begins and tummies satisfied. How trilling! Then as you look away…
Oh! What darkness when the soul is lost. It is so bitter. I relish in my salvation but my heart is so sad this Christmas for Mj and Anna. They need my Jesus. They need to surrender their lives. One is fearful of this world and what horror it contains for her dear little ones. The other has limited days left as brain cancer has his way with her. Oh to be saved from this world's fears. Oh to be saved from eternal torment.
So this Christmas I am most grateful of Salvation and earnestly pray that the best gift ever comes and unwraps itself to two special people in my life - one I know and one I so hope to greet in Heaven with a bear hug.
~*~ Merry Christmas ~*~
Is it merry for you? It could be. Accept the gift of Salvation and be amazed in the unwrapping …
A very grand party indeed! Beautiful best regal party clothes from His closet because you could never afford them. Look into the faces. They are glowing from His Glory. Eyes bright and smiles megawatt. Then the feasting begins and tummies satisfied. How trilling! Then as you look away…
Oh! What darkness when the soul is lost. It is so bitter. I relish in my salvation but my heart is so sad this Christmas for Mj and Anna. They need my Jesus. They need to surrender their lives. One is fearful of this world and what horror it contains for her dear little ones. The other has limited days left as brain cancer has his way with her. Oh to be saved from this world's fears. Oh to be saved from eternal torment.
So this Christmas I am most grateful of Salvation and earnestly pray that the best gift ever comes and unwraps itself to two special people in my life - one I know and one I so hope to greet in Heaven with a bear hug.
Is it merry for you? It could be. Accept the gift of Salvation and be amazed in the unwrapping …
Friday, December 21, 2012
receiving the GIFT…
There is a battle for a soul. An urgent plea has gone out, heard, and the pleading has begun. I don't know her but because I know her brother I want to greet her in Heaven not with a causal hello but with a giant hug. Her days are numbered. She is experiencing a spoonful of hell as she battles with brain cancer. To have Jesus and to have everlasting life free from eternal torment - best Christmas.…
"Dear Jesus, help! We are small little night lights in a very dark world. You are Mighty to Save. Let our eyes be open to see You and to feel Your Presence in this … may this precious soul be treasure in Heaven…"
"Dear Jesus, help! We are small little night lights in a very dark world. You are Mighty to Save. Let our eyes be open to see You and to feel Your Presence in this … may this precious soul be treasure in Heaven…"
Thursday, December 20, 2012
bean watching …
What a child I am! Any adult knows that when you plant a seed that it takes time to grow. But here I am checking the seed and just like a child who checked his bean seed in that white styrofoam cup on the windowsill every hour and then in the morning to rush out to see if a bit of green has popped through the wet dirt. Nothing. How the heart slumps. And isn't it just the time the utter dejection sets in and you feel the 'whatever' coming on that a green shoot appears?
I hope and wait and pray … for the out of the blue verbal seed to germinate and continue with sowing the walking seeds.…
I hope and wait and pray … for the out of the blue verbal seed to germinate and continue with sowing the walking seeds.…
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
six days too late …
A month a go we realized that Andy's health was in decline. Our fervent prayer was that Andy would fall asleep and not wake up. We did not want to take him to vet as he hated it so much that we would have to sedate him for fear he would have a heart attack - way too traumatic and not what we wanted his last moments to be.
As I tried to capture as much time with him, I would see how he was still engaged and wanted to be apart of the family. As I held his furry body close to mine and feeling his heartbeat, I could not fathom taking it. I kept praying that the God Who cared about the fallen sparrow would take Andy sooner than later. Last week I was getting mad at God and saying in the same breath that I didn't want to be mad but what was the purpose of this wasting away. He allowed Muffy our cat to die all curled up in sleep. We didn't know anything was wrong with her. Why couldn't Andy be allowed that escape?
Mom couldn't be home Monday through Wednesday so last Sunday would have been perfect timing except we would have missed out on what we thought was his last story to tell - waking up Mom to clean his bed and then went back to sleep contented. I spent a little time with him. Thursday night and as he tucked his nose under the covers with his paws curled under his head, I captured the last picture to remember him by. Friday I barely had tears because I couldn't understand why God couldn't take him. Then Sandy Hook happened and I was noooo, not more loss for Christmas. Saturday morning and still no word of Andy passing I just bawled. I didn't want to start the day. But then word came.
My second prayer was that I could see God's Presence through the loss of Andy like I saw His Presence through the warm blankets during my surgery. It is best to not dictate what you want to see. You want to be surprised. You want your eyes open. You don't want to miss it. But I couldn't see anything - just yet…
I did breathe a thank You to God for the relief of death to put an end on suffering. I thanked Him for giving Andy a lot of sleep. Even the timing was good. Mom wasn't alone. The passing was in the morning and while she was cleaning him up. Being Saturday Dad was home with her and we could bury him and not struggle through a work day. Plus, little ones that were coming the next day wouldn't have to see this. Even with these small blessings, the biggest blessing was yet to come.
I gathered a couple of pictures and wrote an email and sent to couple of coworkers that knew Andy was sick. I didn't want to talk about Andy aloud. I didn't want to cry any more. At the end of my email about Andy's contentment with us, I simply stated that "through this pain, I was contented in Who has me." That was my only reference to God.
A coworker began to share all her hyperventilating fears that she was having this weekend over the Sandy Hook incident. Mj has been on my wish list for Jesus. Was this an opportunity to share Him with her? Through shaking hands I typed out my struggle this year and that the only light I had in this dark world was God's Word and a personal relationship with Him. I hit send. A verbal seed has been planted after much walking seeds have been showered in her life.…
Then I realized the purpose of Andy passing was right on time in God's Plan and not mine. Andy passed six days too late so that my raw personal pain could be added to the national pain so I could share my True Hope and Real Light to a coworker friend who needs Jesus.
Isn't amazing? God does not waste my pain nor my tears!
As I tried to capture as much time with him, I would see how he was still engaged and wanted to be apart of the family. As I held his furry body close to mine and feeling his heartbeat, I could not fathom taking it. I kept praying that the God Who cared about the fallen sparrow would take Andy sooner than later. Last week I was getting mad at God and saying in the same breath that I didn't want to be mad but what was the purpose of this wasting away. He allowed Muffy our cat to die all curled up in sleep. We didn't know anything was wrong with her. Why couldn't Andy be allowed that escape?
Mom couldn't be home Monday through Wednesday so last Sunday would have been perfect timing except we would have missed out on what we thought was his last story to tell - waking up Mom to clean his bed and then went back to sleep contented. I spent a little time with him. Thursday night and as he tucked his nose under the covers with his paws curled under his head, I captured the last picture to remember him by. Friday I barely had tears because I couldn't understand why God couldn't take him. Then Sandy Hook happened and I was noooo, not more loss for Christmas. Saturday morning and still no word of Andy passing I just bawled. I didn't want to start the day. But then word came.
My second prayer was that I could see God's Presence through the loss of Andy like I saw His Presence through the warm blankets during my surgery. It is best to not dictate what you want to see. You want to be surprised. You want your eyes open. You don't want to miss it. But I couldn't see anything - just yet…
I did breathe a thank You to God for the relief of death to put an end on suffering. I thanked Him for giving Andy a lot of sleep. Even the timing was good. Mom wasn't alone. The passing was in the morning and while she was cleaning him up. Being Saturday Dad was home with her and we could bury him and not struggle through a work day. Plus, little ones that were coming the next day wouldn't have to see this. Even with these small blessings, the biggest blessing was yet to come.
I gathered a couple of pictures and wrote an email and sent to couple of coworkers that knew Andy was sick. I didn't want to talk about Andy aloud. I didn't want to cry any more. At the end of my email about Andy's contentment with us, I simply stated that "through this pain, I was contented in Who has me." That was my only reference to God.
A coworker began to share all her hyperventilating fears that she was having this weekend over the Sandy Hook incident. Mj has been on my wish list for Jesus. Was this an opportunity to share Him with her? Through shaking hands I typed out my struggle this year and that the only light I had in this dark world was God's Word and a personal relationship with Him. I hit send. A verbal seed has been planted after much walking seeds have been showered in her life.…
Then I realized the purpose of Andy passing was right on time in God's Plan and not mine. Andy passed six days too late so that my raw personal pain could be added to the national pain so I could share my True Hope and Real Light to a coworker friend who needs Jesus.
Isn't amazing? God does not waste my pain nor my tears!
Monday, December 17, 2012
raw & contented …
I've been grieving for a month because what I had dreaded was becoming quite evident now. At the beginning of the the week my earnest prayer that God would take Andy sooner than later wasn't being answered on my terms. I went to see Andy Thursday night as curled up with his paws tucked up under his head and his nose under the covers. Friday I had barely a tear. I did think that maybe sleep was a gift God was giving Andy. Saturday I just didn't want to get out of bed. Losing a precious gift on top of a year filled with stressful decisions and with dark passages has been much - too much. I can't take much more. I long for rest, for healing, for comfort and joy.
My dear Andy did pass at 7:45AM. I bawled upon my pillowed and got up and started the day. As we covered Andy with earth's heavy blanket the heavens began to tear up pelleting us with soft drops matching our sorrow.
Andy was was born with his brother Bobby on February 26, 2000. Mom and Dad not being able to pick just one brought both home on April 13, 2000. Andy passed 7:45AM December 15, 2012. Bobby is still with us. He was worried and confused. He has Tink who is also worried and confused, but will keep each other as well as us focused on today.
I will miss this precious pupinator greatly. My biggest fear is that his memory will fade like all the beloved pets that I have had. It helps the grief process but this guy has touched my heart like no other. I want to remember all the goodness he was. I do not want that to fade.
I'm not grieving like I was. Maybe I'm numb. Maybe it is because the wasting away is finished and it is a relief.
I finally put the tree up because I wanted some twinkle in my life. I won't have extended time off - just the holiday. We will be slaving to get inventory done. So I don't know if I will be able to recharge fully. I do plan to find some quiet Christmastime with God. I need to give God my gift of contentment.…
My dear contented Andy! What an inspiring story!
My dear Andy did pass at 7:45AM. I bawled upon my pillowed and got up and started the day. As we covered Andy with earth's heavy blanket the heavens began to tear up pelleting us with soft drops matching our sorrow.
Andy was was born with his brother Bobby on February 26, 2000. Mom and Dad not being able to pick just one brought both home on April 13, 2000. Andy passed 7:45AM December 15, 2012. Bobby is still with us. He was worried and confused. He has Tink who is also worried and confused, but will keep each other as well as us focused on today.
I will miss this precious pupinator greatly. My biggest fear is that his memory will fade like all the beloved pets that I have had. It helps the grief process but this guy has touched my heart like no other. I want to remember all the goodness he was. I do not want that to fade.
I'm not grieving like I was. Maybe I'm numb. Maybe it is because the wasting away is finished and it is a relief.
I finally put the tree up because I wanted some twinkle in my life. I won't have extended time off - just the holiday. We will be slaving to get inventory done. So I don't know if I will be able to recharge fully. I do plan to find some quiet Christmastime with God. I need to give God my gift of contentment.…
My dear contented Andy! What an inspiring story!
Sunday, December 16, 2012
for Sandy Hook …
Dear Heavenly Father,
"Have mercy on me, O God,
have mercy on me,
For in You my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the
Shadow of Your Wings
until the disaster has passed.
I cry out to God Most High…
~ Psalms 57:1-2
We are hurting. The gifts You have given have been taken. At Christmas we are reminded that You gave Your only Son as a gift to mankind. Jesus paid with His Life - He paid for this evil done so that we have HOPE and EVERLASTING LIFE.
Thank You, Heavenly Father, for You are the Great Keeper. You keep our dreams and wishes. You collect our tears. You Alone can give Perfect Peace. You Alone can change the evil heart. You Alone can heal a wounded bleeding heart. I will bow the knee and rest my fevered brow and broken heart in Your Strong Everlasting Keeping Arms.
with a heavy heart,
keeper
"Have mercy on me, O God,
have mercy on me,
For in You my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the
Shadow of Your Wings
until the disaster has passed.
I cry out to God Most High…
~ Psalms 57:1-2
We are hurting. The gifts You have given have been taken. At Christmas we are reminded that You gave Your only Son as a gift to mankind. Jesus paid with His Life - He paid for this evil done so that we have HOPE and EVERLASTING LIFE.
Thank You, Heavenly Father, for You are the Great Keeper. You keep our dreams and wishes. You collect our tears. You Alone can give Perfect Peace. You Alone can change the evil heart. You Alone can heal a wounded bleeding heart. I will bow the knee and rest my fevered brow and broken heart in Your Strong Everlasting Keeping Arms.
with a heavy heart,
keeper
Friday, December 14, 2012
a cupful of Andy …
A text this morning from my Mom:
"I have a little Andy story to tell. As sick as he is, he pooooped and potty his bed. He comes up to the head of the bed and hits the bed until he get me awake to fix his bed. He does not like a mussed up bed. He gave a little purrrrr after he got cleaned up."
That's my beloved Andy. He still has a story to tell.
"I have a little Andy story to tell. As sick as he is, he pooooped and potty his bed. He comes up to the head of the bed and hits the bed until he get me awake to fix his bed. He does not like a mussed up bed. He gave a little purrrrr after he got cleaned up."
That's my beloved Andy. He still has a story to tell.
bitter cupful vs abundant life …
Life is a paradox and quite frankly I am a paradox but for right now life is right in my face in a stare down. I've had enough. I'm sure I've blinked but I'm still in its clutches.
Just as I was clutching to the fact that I do have an abundant life full of hope, salvation, love, peace, contentment, JOY, compassion,… Just as this world is getting darker and that I have the Light to make a difference in my world, my cup has gotten very bitter. Like Jesus I want this cup taken away. Please let up. Please give me warm honey water. My heart is shattered.
I know I must give up my good gift, my beloved Andy. I have asked for mercy. Let him go quietly in his sleep where he is near us. In my opinion last Sunday would have been good timing but he is still here wasting away. I couldn't bear to take his life away. He was engaged and giving. We did not want his last moments be traumatic. He goes nuts when he goes to vet.
{heavy sigh} What a stressful year this has been. I felt God's Presence when I was freaking out about the surgery. He covered me. I'm looking for His Presence again. I'm trying not to dictate my expectations but they are there larger than life.
What a paradox. Abundant life and my cup is bitter.
Just as I was clutching to the fact that I do have an abundant life full of hope, salvation, love, peace, contentment, JOY, compassion,… Just as this world is getting darker and that I have the Light to make a difference in my world, my cup has gotten very bitter. Like Jesus I want this cup taken away. Please let up. Please give me warm honey water. My heart is shattered.
I know I must give up my good gift, my beloved Andy. I have asked for mercy. Let him go quietly in his sleep where he is near us. In my opinion last Sunday would have been good timing but he is still here wasting away. I couldn't bear to take his life away. He was engaged and giving. We did not want his last moments be traumatic. He goes nuts when he goes to vet.
{heavy sigh} What a stressful year this has been. I felt God's Presence when I was freaking out about the surgery. He covered me. I'm looking for His Presence again. I'm trying not to dictate my expectations but they are there larger than life.
What a paradox. Abundant life and my cup is bitter.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
my favorite things 2012
1. The favorite thing to top my list would be furry pupinator Andy hugs and kisses. He is my cuddle bug. Touch isn't top on my love language list but when your single and to have and hold isn't in your future, touch becomes important. I've been cherishing all his hugs before he is gone…
2. Covers. Covers are my 'arms' that surround me to hold me in when I want to hide. This year has been very traumatic and continues to be. God has a Strong Arm and I find that ever so comforting. So as I hideaway under my covers, I treasure that His Arms surround me.
3. God's Word. I love how God begins to connect the dots as different passages come together to show me a promise, a help, and a picture …
4. My craftcave. I have a place I can get away and create. If I need to come back to reality, I can go and it is all there to come back to. I also can take bits with me like to work so that I can have a mini break.
5. Shaded big windows that look out into a woods. What a little wonderland I have. I could waste an afternoon curled up in a chair viewing squirrel and birds antics. If your fortunate, you just might see raccoon babies waddle about or a young deer slip quietly to the edge of your world.
6. Blue Cloud paint. I painted this all over my tall library walls. I was afraid of the boldness but I love it now. While we are on paint, I live the dusty purple that graces my bedroom walls making it feel like a jewelry box. To top off these paints is silver faceplates to cover light switches and outlets! It is the bow atop a great prezzie!
7. Perfect lampshades. I like the new mode shapes that allow the light to be closer to the wall. It really makes a room.
8. iPod Touch. I have been enjoying the audio capabilities like the audio Bible and the podcasts. I also like the ability to write down my thoughts especially in the warmth of my covers!
9. My home & garage. Never had before and saying thank You to my Heavenly Provider.
10. Australian Tea Tree Oil. I've been using on my traumatic toe injury to keep infection away.
2. Covers. Covers are my 'arms' that surround me to hold me in when I want to hide. This year has been very traumatic and continues to be. God has a Strong Arm and I find that ever so comforting. So as I hideaway under my covers, I treasure that His Arms surround me.
3. God's Word. I love how God begins to connect the dots as different passages come together to show me a promise, a help, and a picture …
4. My craftcave. I have a place I can get away and create. If I need to come back to reality, I can go and it is all there to come back to. I also can take bits with me like to work so that I can have a mini break.
5. Shaded big windows that look out into a woods. What a little wonderland I have. I could waste an afternoon curled up in a chair viewing squirrel and birds antics. If your fortunate, you just might see raccoon babies waddle about or a young deer slip quietly to the edge of your world.
6. Blue Cloud paint. I painted this all over my tall library walls. I was afraid of the boldness but I love it now. While we are on paint, I live the dusty purple that graces my bedroom walls making it feel like a jewelry box. To top off these paints is silver faceplates to cover light switches and outlets! It is the bow atop a great prezzie!
7. Perfect lampshades. I like the new mode shapes that allow the light to be closer to the wall. It really makes a room.
8. iPod Touch. I have been enjoying the audio capabilities like the audio Bible and the podcasts. I also like the ability to write down my thoughts especially in the warmth of my covers!
9. My home & garage. Never had before and saying thank You to my Heavenly Provider.
10. Australian Tea Tree Oil. I've been using on my traumatic toe injury to keep infection away.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
what thankfulness can do …
Having a grateful heart and expressing it to the Heavenly Father in the moment is the key to love, JOY, praise, contentment, peace, hope, faith, … Some of these words are a bit abstract and when I try to break it down, I get a little lost.
In another part of my life I started to thank my Heavenly Father in the moment. If I ask for help and I get it, why shouldn't I say thank You right then and there? Not only has it fix my melancholy and frustration, it has given me JOY and contentment. It has helped me understand faith, hope, and love.
Next lesson is to thank my Heavenly Father for the dross removal moments - (you know, the painful stuff!). Yikes!
In another part of my life I started to thank my Heavenly Father in the moment. If I ask for help and I get it, why shouldn't I say thank You right then and there? Not only has it fix my melancholy and frustration, it has given me JOY and contentment. It has helped me understand faith, hope, and love.
Next lesson is to thank my Heavenly Father for the dross removal moments - (you know, the painful stuff!). Yikes!
Monday, December 10, 2012
grieving at His Knee …
dear Heavenly Father,
I am so grateful that I can come to You alone and pour out my grief. I need to cry, to let it out without hurting anyone else, without making anyone feel bad. My tears are liquid feelings, liquid empathy. What they don't see is that I am offering up sacrifice of praise to You even when tears stream uncontrollably.
I know I must give back this gift You've given. I know this will be a great void yet each time I feel it, I will praise You. It will hurt. I don't know how I will get through. I don't want to let him become a bygone memory. I want him to be a happy memory daily.… I am hoping to celebrate him in a x stitch journal.
Watching his decline even as he clings to us, I feel like King David. I will give my presence now and hold him close. When You take him, through the tears I will clean up and get up and praise You.
Thank You for collecting my tears. Thank You for Your Strong Arms that hold me together.
always,
tearful keeper
I am so grateful that I can come to You alone and pour out my grief. I need to cry, to let it out without hurting anyone else, without making anyone feel bad. My tears are liquid feelings, liquid empathy. What they don't see is that I am offering up sacrifice of praise to You even when tears stream uncontrollably.
I know I must give back this gift You've given. I know this will be a great void yet each time I feel it, I will praise You. It will hurt. I don't know how I will get through. I don't want to let him become a bygone memory. I want him to be a happy memory daily.… I am hoping to celebrate him in a x stitch journal.
Watching his decline even as he clings to us, I feel like King David. I will give my presence now and hold him close. When You take him, through the tears I will clean up and get up and praise You.
Thank You for collecting my tears. Thank You for Your Strong Arms that hold me together.
always,
tearful keeper
Sunday, December 09, 2012
Andy snapshots …
Why do good gifts have an expiration date? I know why good gifts come. The Heavenly Father loves to lavish us with good gifts but why do they go?
Sometimes good gifts are people and people at times fail us. Sometimes good gifts are pets to cheer us and to teach about unconditional love yet they have frailty written into their DNA too. Sometimes good gifts are jobs or homes or things that can crumble away. Is that really a good gift if it is so easily ruined? I just cannot wrapped my brain around it -especially around the gifts we take to Heaven and those God-created creations.
God has given me a picture to help me understand a little more…
I struggle because I get attached to these furry animated toy fox terriers. They bring me such joy! I know they have no souls but they have such life and personality. Jesus cares about a the fallen sparrow. He gave the donkey speech to get a defiant human to listen. And one day the lion will lie down with the lamb. After reading about pets in Randy Alcorn's book on Heaven for kids. I have a couple of snapshots…
Today's snapshot is me handing over a sleeping Andy into the Strong Arms of Jesus. A picture of allowing Jesus to comfort a sad grateful heart. Andy is well enjoyed gift.
I have have couple more snapshots …
After some of the big things happen like seeing Jesus face to face and having mini reunions of with special people that have gone before us and meeting first time face to face those who we knew their heart but never got to see and that big thing where we come back with Jesus on those horses … after that when things 'quiet' down and I walk on streets of gold, I will walk out into the yard and there peering out from behind the tree will be Andy with his beautiful masked face. He will pause like always and he will do his slightly sidestep happy trot to greet me. He will jump into my arms. In that moment as my hands capture his little tank body there will be to lumps, bumps, tender spots, worry spots, or itchy ears. As salty happy tears flow and pupinators kisses lap up, we rejoice that the Creator King has broken sin's curse. Not only has my body been made new and perfected but God has made His creation perfect too. This snapshot is the giving of PRAISE to God Most High.
I have one more indulgent snapshot…
Andy and I have this tradition after meals when the family talks. Andy gives me sad eyes and I would let him jump into my lap and lately I have scooped him up. He sits there enjoying the elevated view and of course a nibble on a scrap or two. I know that Thankgiving was the last time Andy and I truly enjoyed this together. But just maybe after the Marriage Feast in Heaven, Andy will be there with his puppy eyes…
and once again like old times he will jump into my lap as we fellowship at The Lord's table. This snapshot is pure indulgence and a reminder that God the Father lavishes us with so much, are we indulgent in our praise back to Him?
What a Day of Rejoicing that will be! True gifts will be fully realized. Good gifts will be perfected. No expiration dates. No frailty. No brokenness. No loss.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the Heavenly Lights, Who does not change like shifting shadows. ~James 1:17
Sometimes good gifts are people and people at times fail us. Sometimes good gifts are pets to cheer us and to teach about unconditional love yet they have frailty written into their DNA too. Sometimes good gifts are jobs or homes or things that can crumble away. Is that really a good gift if it is so easily ruined? I just cannot wrapped my brain around it -especially around the gifts we take to Heaven and those God-created creations.
God has given me a picture to help me understand a little more…
I struggle because I get attached to these furry animated toy fox terriers. They bring me such joy! I know they have no souls but they have such life and personality. Jesus cares about a the fallen sparrow. He gave the donkey speech to get a defiant human to listen. And one day the lion will lie down with the lamb. After reading about pets in Randy Alcorn's book on Heaven for kids. I have a couple of snapshots…
Today's snapshot is me handing over a sleeping Andy into the Strong Arms of Jesus. A picture of allowing Jesus to comfort a sad grateful heart. Andy is well enjoyed gift.
I have have couple more snapshots …
After some of the big things happen like seeing Jesus face to face and having mini reunions of with special people that have gone before us and meeting first time face to face those who we knew their heart but never got to see and that big thing where we come back with Jesus on those horses … after that when things 'quiet' down and I walk on streets of gold, I will walk out into the yard and there peering out from behind the tree will be Andy with his beautiful masked face. He will pause like always and he will do his slightly sidestep happy trot to greet me. He will jump into my arms. In that moment as my hands capture his little tank body there will be to lumps, bumps, tender spots, worry spots, or itchy ears. As salty happy tears flow and pupinators kisses lap up, we rejoice that the Creator King has broken sin's curse. Not only has my body been made new and perfected but God has made His creation perfect too. This snapshot is the giving of PRAISE to God Most High.
I have one more indulgent snapshot…
Andy and I have this tradition after meals when the family talks. Andy gives me sad eyes and I would let him jump into my lap and lately I have scooped him up. He sits there enjoying the elevated view and of course a nibble on a scrap or two. I know that Thankgiving was the last time Andy and I truly enjoyed this together. But just maybe after the Marriage Feast in Heaven, Andy will be there with his puppy eyes…
and once again like old times he will jump into my lap as we fellowship at The Lord's table. This snapshot is pure indulgence and a reminder that God the Father lavishes us with so much, are we indulgent in our praise back to Him?
What a Day of Rejoicing that will be! True gifts will be fully realized. Good gifts will be perfected. No expiration dates. No frailty. No brokenness. No loss.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the Heavenly Lights, Who does not change like shifting shadows. ~James 1:17
Thursday, December 06, 2012
golden bowls & harps …
…"the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each having a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints." ~ Revelations 5:8
Interesting! A harp and a golden bowl of incense. Would a harp represent my thankfulness? The verse says prayer is incense honored with a golden bowl. Wow! This puts a new perceptive on the gifts I bring to my King!
Interesting! A harp and a golden bowl of incense. Would a harp represent my thankfulness? The verse says prayer is incense honored with a golden bowl. Wow! This puts a new perceptive on the gifts I bring to my King!
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
rich generosity …
"… Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing JÖY & their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity." II Corinthians 8:2
I stumbled on an interesting treasure! I have this walking sadness going on because I let this adorable flurry pupinator into my heart and now this good gift is going… This is just the latest on a very trying year. I'm not sure I can take much more.
This passage encourages me that out of all my stresses and depleted heart and soul, there is always JÖY abundant when I am thankful to the Almighty in whatever He gives and in whatever He takes. This JÖY just bubbles up and I can give even when I don't know how I can…
overflowing JÖY + extreme poverty = rich generosity
I stumbled on an interesting treasure! I have this walking sadness going on because I let this adorable flurry pupinator into my heart and now this good gift is going… This is just the latest on a very trying year. I'm not sure I can take much more.
This passage encourages me that out of all my stresses and depleted heart and soul, there is always JÖY abundant when I am thankful to the Almighty in whatever He gives and in whatever He takes. This JÖY just bubbles up and I can give even when I don't know how I can…
overflowing JÖY + extreme poverty = rich generosity
Monday, December 03, 2012
x stitch …
Not that I need another craft but rather going back to my first self taught pursuit as a way to grieve and honor my beloved Andy. I need something quick where words and crocheting a likeness would take too much time in this busy season.
I have been wanting to get back to x stitching and have been getting small nudges along the way. I found sometime this summer a second Martha Stewart Living catalog that had an article promoting x stitch to little girls. All you do is get graph paper and encourage them to draw themselves and their family then x stitch. I loved it and can't wait to try on my nieces but in the meantime just tucking it away.
I've been picking up wonderful x stitch pieces at my local second hand shop. I have this battle going on inside me - why am I buying someone else's hard work when I should create them? The beauty and length always wins! I lack the time! You should see the piano one! I cannot believe someone got rid of it.
I like simple things to make quick work. I found this really cool x stitch maker app for my iPod Touch! I made Andy's face in x stitch and this app shows you what it looks like finished. I now am on the hunt for a graph paper journal. I think I will have to make one instead as I am coming up empty. I want to fill the pages with Andy first and then with the rest with the toy fox gang with Andy as top dog as he is. Then I will have a journal as well as x stitch pieces.
I think this will be a good way to grieve. Andy has been cuddling with me and I cherish these moments. I don't want to let him go but I must. I long for Heaven where good gifts are perfected…
I have been wanting to get back to x stitching and have been getting small nudges along the way. I found sometime this summer a second Martha Stewart Living catalog that had an article promoting x stitch to little girls. All you do is get graph paper and encourage them to draw themselves and their family then x stitch. I loved it and can't wait to try on my nieces but in the meantime just tucking it away.
I've been picking up wonderful x stitch pieces at my local second hand shop. I have this battle going on inside me - why am I buying someone else's hard work when I should create them? The beauty and length always wins! I lack the time! You should see the piano one! I cannot believe someone got rid of it.
I like simple things to make quick work. I found this really cool x stitch maker app for my iPod Touch! I made Andy's face in x stitch and this app shows you what it looks like finished. I now am on the hunt for a graph paper journal. I think I will have to make one instead as I am coming up empty. I want to fill the pages with Andy first and then with the rest with the toy fox gang with Andy as top dog as he is. Then I will have a journal as well as x stitch pieces.
I think this will be a good way to grieve. Andy has been cuddling with me and I cherish these moments. I don't want to let him go but I must. I long for Heaven where good gifts are perfected…
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