her label reads the following...

Warning: Do not shake her unless you are ready
for the vivacious overflow of her passion!
This vintage bottle is a deep soul, quiet and smooth. From her innermost flavors you will get a blast of tenacity, stuborness, creativity, and thinker tempered with a long journey through melancholy and into Joy. She is a complex taste ... one that only gets better with age...

It will take a strong man to pop the top and fully understand her intensity and value. It is what she will bring out in him and his dreams. He knows with her that she will not peak but always become richer and deeper. This is not a wine that will tolerate being watered down. The strong man will never hide this bottle away but keep it in a place of value ....

gazing upon Him...

"But their eyes were kept recognizing Him." - Luke 24:16

The disciples ought to have known Jesus, they had heard His Voice so often, and gazed upon that Marred Face so frequently, that it is wonderful they did not discover Him. Yet is it not so with you also? You have not seen Jesus lately. You have been to His Table, and you have not met Him there.

We should know Jesus, for we have the Scriptures to reflect His Image, and yet how possible it is for us to open that Precious Book and have no glimpse of the Wellbeloved! Dear child of God, are you in that state? Jesus feedeth among the lilies of the word, and you walk among those lilies, and yet you behold Him not.

And why do we not see Him? It must be ascribed in our case, as in the disciples', to UNBELIEF . They evidently did not expect to see Jesus, and therefore they did not know Him.

To a great extent in spiritual things we get what we expect of the Lord. Faith alone can bring us to see Jesus. Make it your prayer, "Lord, open thou mine eyes, that I may see my Saviour present with me. " It is a blessed thing to want to see Him; but oh! it is better far to gaze upon Him. To those who seek Him He is Kind; but to those who find Him, beyond expression is He Dear! ~Spurgeon

My Dearest,
You are indeed a Sight for my sore eyes. You are my Beautiful and Beloved Saviour. Thank You for Your Love that will not let me go. Thank you for Your Joy that seeketh me through the pain.
~ always Yours

Spurgeon: purfumed arrows

protecting...

Just because she is single doesn't mean she doesn't have a relationship to protect. She may not come home to a man in her house or in her bed. She may not cook and clean a house for two or more. She may not have the priviledge or the headache to give her love, but she has every right to protect her relationship with herself and most importantly with her God.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the Wellspring of Life."
prov 4:23
"The Name of the Lord is a Strong Tower;
the righteous run to It & are Safe."
prov 18:10

Dearest Strong Tower,
My heart is soooo weary. Pieces of me have been scuffed off with interaction of people especially the opposite sex. I am left a bit raw and oozing. The old would is festering.

I run to You. You alone can heal me. You alone are Constant. You alone are Safe. You alone have Your Everlasting Arms open and waiting to enclose me into Your Beating Heart.
~ always Your pieces well loved and cared for...

first star...

She walked into her dark bedroom, pulled back the curtains, and looked out on the dark landscape. In her home this is her best view. During the day it tells of yellow and orange leaves making their playful ways to the ground while their green playmates procrastinate. But now it is different shades of midnight black and twinkle lights.

Tonight she emptied out her tears and her gratitude for her journey and those she loved. Out of the inky sky one lone star shown brightly. The corners of her mouth turned upward and her heart skipped a beat. ¡thank You, Starkeeper!

moment captured: the doe

the doe...

I was barrelling down the country road and around the curves coming through the golden fall treeson my right. My mind was a whirl of thoughts that where numbing me out. One sentence kept playing over and over. 'All I wanted to do was step outside my life for a while.' The old wound was festering again.

My country drive in the morning to work is a time I collect the beauty of the farms and the sky. I chatter gratitude with my God for His handiwork. Today He had to nudge me to put my focus back on Him.

I was coming to my turn and there my eyes locked on to her's. The corn fields had been taken down. Along my right side was a farm of black cows and a farmhouse to my favorite dog line, the toy fox terrier. I enjoy the land here. It is interesting. But this morning I had to skip up futher ahead. A doe turned her head and looked at me.

My jeep must have caught her attention. I was feverishly looking for her pack. Deer are not always a good thing to see as you are zipping along. I saw no others but her. She turned her white tail to me and then zipped across the country road and bounded off the another broken down corn field. She was soooooo graceful. I was a bit envious of her. Oh to have the grace and form ... and to run far away....

precious fumes...

Humans give off a by-product. I don't really think most are conscious of this. I wasn't till now. As they whiz down the road of life, they give off a value to the people they come in contact. It is not just their inner circle but to any and every one they bump into. Sometimes it is a dance and sometimes it just ends up in a crash, but when you walk away you feel the dollar sign. You either are of high worth or a piece of lent. No wonder there are so many walking wounded!

So what kind of value do you give to others?
What happens when you highly value you someone and in return you are only just chop liver? You value this person's dreams. You love their brain and their thoughts. You love their heart and their feelings. You love their spirit and their faith. There was a lot of connection... you placed them in your inner sactum ... you thought you were in theirs .... but ¡wham! you are tossed out like yesturday's ice cream box.

Like the old country song says: 'dreams move on if you wait too long...'
Like my mind says: 'I will stop asking for what you cannot give...'
Like my heart says: 'i won't be where i am not wanted...'
Like my soul says: 'I refuse to be anything but resilient!'

dreamer...

Ahh, "Dreamer" is an excellent movie! I would rate it a 10.

To gauge what type of audience would show up, the question was posed "Are there going to be a lot of kids there?" My answer was "It should be a movie that appeals to adults and horse lovers, too." We showed up to find the kids way out numbered the adults. (Opps!)

This is a much needed movie for the adults. We have become so crusty and disillusioned from all that presses in on us. We have lost our 'unquestioning belief.' Children come into this world with the purest value of belief! We the adults crush it where we need to go back to it and nourish it in our lives and allow your children to teach us.

This movie gives you back the power to believe. Let our dreams live!

The greatest finalle was kids breaking out into applause at the end of the movie. They recognized the power of belief.

"and the sky opens up..."

a movie review: sideways

your wellspring...

A wellspring is a good word to describe people. It is a container to hold water, but it needs to take from somewhere so it can give. Wells can be shallow or deep, empty or full. It can be bitter or it can quench thirst. The water can be clear or mirky.

People are the same way. Those that know tap into a Source that has an unending supply. They know that they can freely give. They are deep and full so that all that come near feel refreshed, but they know the balance and keep still to keep the waters clear.

Others not knowing tap into any source and take. Their waters often are mirky leaving a bitter taste on your lips. The thirst still lingers. It is like drinking mud and in horror it comes right back up.

Still others are irratic. They tap into the Source and give freely. Sure their waters are good and lots of people flock near, but the well empties and become barren. It is always a constant outage. You can't depend on your thirst to be quenched.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the Wellspring of Life."
~ prob 4:23

Dearest Source of my wellspring,
You have filled me with Your Joy. As I have travelled this great journey, You have shown me the importance of balance. You are a Constant in my life. My greatest wish is to reflect that constant outwardly.

Lord, my heart is troubled over an irratic wellspring. It is soooo easy to get caught up in giving that I was accused of taking from a dried out well. Out of my shock I run to You. I guess I am still learning the give and take of a relationship. Is the lesson 'don't ask what they can't give' what I am to learn? You are the Living Water. I thirst no more. I still ache, but You hold me close. I release this irratic wellspring into Your capable Hands.

You have taught me Joy and I will not go back. More not less. I refuse to be anything but resilient. You are my Source. I will blossom in Your Living Water.
~ always Your little girl

inside out miracle...

We put the fleece out and say, "God, if You give me the job or if You help me get that house I want or if You heal my child from her deathbed, I will serve You and even go to a far away land to feed the hungry. When God answers, we call it a miracle.

How about leaving the fleece on the Lamb? How about doing what it says in Malachi and "Test God on this?" Take God at His Word. Believe Him. If you find your faith small, take His Promises and test Him. When God meets you, call it a miracle inside out!

merge...

In my life journey I found that I must meet my challenges by moving through them. I cannot stop or stall out. Positive movement is medicine. Somehow I have always healed through the process. I have become more and not less. With all the hardcore stuff I have gone through, there is no way I will leave behind any of the learnings I have gathered along the way. I refuse to be anything but resilient! I will blossom.

taste like a connoisseur...

* Look at the color and clarity of the life & relationships you have.

* Tilt your perspective and look at the ''edges'' of your relationships, where it meets your life.

* Swirl your relationships gently to see how much ''body'' it has.

* Inhale the scents of your relationships.

* Take a small sip.

* After the first sip, swirl your relationships in your mouth and notice how it feels and tastes.

* Swallow. Then notice any after-taste.

* Pause to think about your relationship's impression on your scenses.

wine tasting 101: sideways

sideways ...

Sideways is a movie at first glance would not be one I would go see. It was recommended so I was compelled to go and I was presently surprised at how multi-leveled it was. This movie is purely an English major's delight!

Warning: R for language, some strong sexual content and nudity. So don't say I didn't warn you!

preface:
'Miles Raymond (Giamatti), a divorced middle school teacher and failed novelist, and his altar-bound friend Jack (Church) take a wine-tasting trip in California, pondering questions about their directions in life.'

Freeze frame the first wine testing:
Gloomy Miles is a wine connoisseur. He would LOOK at his wine. Then he would tip his glass and LOOK at the edge of his wine. He would swirl his wine gently to see how much body it had. He INHALED the scent and took a sip. He would swirl his wine in his mouth, FEELING and TASTING. Shallowing he would notice any after-taste. All was done in a slow and smooth way. It was as though he was MAKING LOVE with his wine.

Jack on the other hand would just glup his way through the wines.

my thoughts:
wine = human relationships /marriage.

Why did Miles fail to TASTE in his marriage relationship with such passion as his wine? In his failed marriage he FELT LITTLE. The after-taste in his mouth was bad. After the dismize of his marriage, he had realized what kind of marriage he wanted but felt unable and unworthy to make it good.

Freeze frame the part where they go to Stephanie's house:
While Jack and Stephanie shush through on their relationship, Miles and Mia move outside to have a conversation. Mia askes him why he is sooo passionate about Pinot. Miles describes the grape to make his favorite wine as thin skinned and tempramental to weather and handling. I was screaming 'Miles is not only describing the grape but he is describing himself and the marriage union!'

Miles asks Mia why she is interested in wine. She liked thinking about what was going on in the world at the time the grape was grown and harvested. What was weather like? What kind of people handle the grape? Was an old wine? Are the people who handled the wine dead? What were they like? etc.

See how his answer to Pinot and her response to wine was a fair give and take. She was the right match. She was interested in the surroundings and care of the grape and he was stuck in the misery of pinot.

Mia asked what was his best wine in his collection? It was the wine that was to peak that year. Once a wine peaks the favor begins to break down and go bad. Miles didn't have an answer but a shrug.

Interesting note:
To peak doesn't mean a negative where the taste will go bad rather it is the moment of realization. A celebrating moment to make new .. to make better.

back to the movie:
The relationship between the two fall apart because of the poor attitude Miles holds dear. Moody and temperamental is much easier to be. Miles also knows the lies Jack has been telling Stephanie and doesn't say anything to Mia. This is betrayal and Mia cannot be near him anymore.

After feeling sorry for himself long enough, Miles writes a letter and send it along with his book to Mia in the effort to turn a new leaf. Mia chooses to read his letter and his book. She was peaking.

Quite interesting to find Miles with his favorite wine in a very ordinary convient store. He opens and drinks in the flavorful and peaking wine. At this moment he knows Mia is the right match. He goes to her. He was peaking.

What was the purpose for the author to used a character like Jack? This friend was a backdrop to compare Miles tooo. He TASTED his wine. Jack sloshed through the wine. There was no real passion .. no real love. Jack did the same with his relationships .. a shallow drinker ... a shallow womanizer .. a shallow man. Slosh through the wine ... slosh through the women. I highly doubt that his 'I can't loose her' hoping not loose woman he was to marry was real. Jack is at the beginning cycle of where Miles mucked through.

Where are you at on this journey? Are you thin skinned and temperamental? Do you need to peak? Or are you pass peaking?

You have to make the decision to stop letting your wine go bad. Peak already! Open that wine and pour it into a new glass. Fully TASTE the wine.

a movie review: just like heaven
wine tasting 101: sour milk

slipped in unseen ...

I am melancholy by nature. When my soul was shriveling, I invited a God-Intervention. While God was showing me His Strength is Joy (neh 8:10), something else slipped in unseen.

Three years later as I marvel at my inner transformation, I just now made the connection. Belief walked in with Joy. I feel the Awesome Power of both flow through me. To be honest I think they come as a pair. I wouldn't have it any other way. Funny thing is that Melancholy hugs the corners for there is no room the dance floor of my heart with Joy and Belief getting a groove on in the spotlight! I truly have a Wonderful Life.

When you believe ... your thoughts and your actions skip with hope ... & Joy bubbles within your soul! What an epiphany! Invite Joy ... Belief will follow!

a violent streak...

"You definitely have a violent streak in you!!" He said with a devilish gleam in his eyes. A long silence and then her wicked glare pinned him to the wall before she could speak.

"Well, if people would stop sticking me in a box, shuting the lid, then sitting their bum on top dangling their legs, kicking the side!!!" She fumed.

a discussion between Aragorn & Eowyn
"Aragorn," she said, "why will you go on this deadly road?"

"Because I must," he said. "Only so can I see any hope of doing my part in the war against Sauron. I do not choose paths of peril, Eowyn." ... ...

"Lord," she said, "if you must go, then let me ride in your following. For I am weary of skulking in the hills, and wish to face peril and battle."

"Your duty is with your people," he answered. ... ...

"Shall I always be left behind when the Riders depart, to mind the house while they win renown, and find food and beds when they return?" ... ... "All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have died in battle and honor, you have leave to be burned in the house, for the men will need it no more." ... ...

"What do you fear, lady?" he asked.

"A cage," she said. "To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire."
chapter called 'The Passing of the Grey Company' from The Lord of the Rings III book

Dear Beautiful Warrior,
I find it so refreshing to know that You did not design just men for adventure. You created this ache in women also. You amaze me.

You did not cage me. In fact You tore open the door and told me to fly! I am sooo blessed and sooo very grateful!!! I love You!

always your warrior princess

Maggie unwanted...

Let me tell you about Maggie. She is one of God's special creatures that often describes in furry pup love the meaning of unconditional.

Maggie comes from my favorite breed, the toy fox or rat terrier. This line of terrier is extremely smart, animated, and loyal. Their coats or washable pjs are usually white with spots of black or brown. Sometimes you can find coats of black with dapple white tummys with white socks and white tips to their skinny tales. Maggie was a mid-size fox terrier with a coat of white and big paws. She was beautiful and very friendly.

Maggie was an unwanted dog. She was tossed out in the rural country side at a farm house. Now to make it she would have to make a human fall in love with her. Someone who had a home where she would be a welcomed house member to the warmth of hearth and home for not just those wintry nights but for sunny days too.

The farmer's wife did enjoy Maggie's friendly companionship, but she was looking for someone else to take Maggie. I would have loved to taken Maggie but not being allowed to have a dog, I passed the info to my bro who was looking to take in a pup.

I had a heighten urgency to get Maggie a home. Maggie being female was bleeding and was not allowed to be in the farmer's house at night. I know this breed very well. Bobby and Andy are my furrry bundles of joy. They need to be inside dogs because they are short haired and shake a lot. They also need security of a fence or a human presence to care and watch out for those cars.

When I took my brother and his wife to see Maggie, she came bounding out towards us and was super friendly. Her chocolate brown eyes were sooo full of love and she just could not get enough pets. I had fallen in love. My brother wasn't ready to take her and had asked the farmer's wife if she would care for Maggie another week.I did not want to wait. Maggie needed a home she could stay inside at night.

Maggie knew what her job was. She was here to love her human companion unconditionally. Right next to her master was her place to sleep. Walking together to maintain a healthy body and mind. Animated facial expressions that would crumble any human into a huge hug. Sure she would enjoy cookies and full body massages, but her job was to ease her human's heavy burdens.

Maggie didn't get to have a chance to enjoy these creature comforts. While wedding plans of couples uniting where every one's focus, Maggie lost her life to a speeding car that left her to die along side the road a year ago October on a crisp Sunday morning.

Who will mourn for this precious gift called Maggie?

I did not understand why Maggie came and left so quickly. My gut was saying to get a home for her quick but I couldn't get others to move fast enough. My heart broke. I felt alone in my tears.

A whole year has gone by and I am not one step closer to understanding God's purpose for Maggie except today I feel like her.

What if Maggie was a human? What if her job was to nourish and give life? What if all she needed was another human to share her gifts with? What if she was sent here for you to feel a your load lightened? What if she was a very cheery and made you feel good? Would you allow her into your world? Or would the stuff of life like other unions be more important than a simple connection?

Who will take Maggie in and let her gift unfold?

purfumed arrows...

We must shoot the Lord's Arrows back to Him. That desire which He writes upon our heart will move His Heart and bring down a Blessing, but the desires of the flesh have no power with Him. ~Spurgeon

Prayer should be perfumed with Love. ~Spurgeon

Spurgeon: great trials

my dad's last words...

disclaimer:
My dad is alive and kicking! But he did share his last words with his family. My little brother rolled his eyes, but I was eager to hear. I believe strongly that last words should not be kept until your last breath. They should be spoken now. When you thought them out, you find your life has a direction and a purpose. I have tackled my last words and they are on the sidebar for your reading.

My dad wants to have faith like Caleb who followed the Lord wholeheartedly. Caleb and Joshua where the guys who came back from the Promise Land excited and ready to go in and conquer. But Isreal listen to the others who feared the might of the people who lived there. It did not matter the God said they would conquer the lands.

After 40 years of waitng it was time to go into the Promise Land. Caleb went to Joshua and said,

" I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the Lord sent (you and) me .. to explore the land. And I brought him back a report according to my convictions, but my brothers who went up with me made the hearts of the people melt with fear. I, however, followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly. So on that day, Moses swore to me, ' The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance and that of your children forever, because you have followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly.'

"Now then, just as the Lord promised, He has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the desert, So here I am today, eighty-five years old! I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I'm just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me this hill country that the Lord promised me that day."

Then Joshua blessed Caleb ... and gave him Hebron as his inheritance ... because he followed the Lord, the God of Isreal, wholeheartedly. ~ Joshua 14:6-15

My dad seeks to go by faith and follow the Lord his God wholeheartedly. Where others melt with fear, he wants to walk by faith and conquer by faith. He seeks to be stronger in his God with each new day. He seeks to be just as vigorous to go out to battle now as he was new in his faith. He wants to be remembered as one who followed and serve his God wholeheartedly.

I love you, Dad, I am so proud to be your daughter. I am so grateful to the Almighty Father for blessing my life with your presence. I will cherish that night and I will cherish these 'last words.' (((Dad))) you are my first love.

'this is how a heart breaks...'

"Get away from me. I don't want others to know you are my sister," he said to her during a family outing at the local mall.

"You really should do something with your hair. It is a mess. Do you comb your hair? Maybe you should perm it." Comments that haunted her for many years causing great hatred towards what should be the crown of a woman's beauty.

"Are you going along with what I taught you or have you really thought about this in this way? Are sure about that?" Her father always was conferntational in efforts to get her to think. She always hope for encouragement for her thoughts but never received.

The look but never the pursuit. Yup, she liked this guy and this guy looked but never took action enough to say hi. He still looked even when he is married to another.

His silence. His moody behavior. His depression. His shutting out. His disappearance. How can she break though behavior like that? And why is it her problem?

This is how a heart breaks. Beat down. Ignore. Call it problems with her attitude.......

My Beautiful and Dearly Loved Child,
You heart breaks because the men in your life or the lack of men in your life have devalued you. You hunger for exceptance and attention. You ache for acknowledgement that you are indeed a beautiful creature. You want to know that you have brilliant thoughts. You desire to love so passionately.

I have noticed at your steps at trying understand your hunger pains. I am quite proud of your hard work at trying to be the best of who you are. You understand the fine line of being open and soft to the loved ones who have hurt you and knowing when to walk away from those who have no respect for your passion.

Ahhhh, I have listen to those questions that consume your heart. O Child, Taste and see that I Am Good. I will fill all your hunger pains. Do not seek after attention from earthly men. Trust Me and take Refuge in Me. Come to My Table and eat. My Storehouses are full and overflowing. I Satisfy and you will never hunger. But you have to keep coming to My banquet. Let My Love fill you... Let Me call you, Blessed.

~Always your Heavenly Father, Faithful Brother and Friend

'O Taste & see that the Lord is Good! Blessed is the man who Trusts and takes Refuge in Him.' ~ ps 34:8
'You prepareth a table before me' ~ps 23:5a

Everlasting Arms...

'' the Eternal God is your Refuge
&
underneath are the Everlasting Arms''
~deut 33:27

She loves to find Refuge in Him. When her days wear her out leaving tears to surface, there is nothing more comforting than to fall into His Everlasting Arms. Safely tucked hidden from view, she can release her raw emotions. Hearing the Eternal God's HeartBeat in her ear, she finds His Peace calms her.

He loves to find Support in Him. When his days demand his fight and his action, failure haunts him in the back of his mind. Am I strong enough? Calling on the Ultimate Warrior, he knows the Everlasting Arms will hold him up and support the fight he must carry out. Hearing the Eternal God's Strong Affirmation in his ear, he is greatly encouraged and embolden.

Ancient of Days...

Ancient of Days & Rock of Ages
are a couple of my favorites names of my Beloved God.

He created our breath and holds our fragile vessels. It was no random happening; He designed for us to meet in the world of words that move our minds, hearts, and souls. When there is physical land distence between you and me these Names comfort my soul. If He can span time, miles or kms are a breeze.

hugggers to my traveling companion....

a living eulogy...

She dances. She sings. She receives. She gives. She serves. She loves. She creates. She dissents. She enlivens. She sees. She grows. She sweats. She learns. She morphs. She giggles. She delights. She savors. She sheds her skin. She risks. She tackles high mountains. She walks through dark valleys. She blasts through man-made walls. She lives with compassion, passion, & joy. She lives with entention.

I saw this living eulogy written in past tense. If it is truly living, one must live now in the moment with all she has. I made this my own and in present tense. I will not wait for death to define my life. I define it today by living with all my passion.

Thank You, Brilliant Creator, for my wonderful life.

holding on...

It is not enough to find your passion ... you must dive straight into the fire of your fear where you can grab it and hold it until it transforms you.

When you desperately clutched your dreams they would often wiggle free and swim away. It isn't until you learned to swim that it becomes clear they were trying to show you the way.