what a way to go!

Whew!  All the 911 stuff brings up a lot of feelings.  A question has come to mind as I hear the stories all over again.  If I had a hubby who called me to tell me good bye before he met the Lord, what would I say?

The answer comes quickly.  Psalms 23 seems top on everyone's list but for me it would be Psalms 100.  This particular Psalms gives such strength and gives you something constructive to do when chaos is raining down all around you and when you feel the fires heat bear down your neck and when you feel the foundations give way .....

Psalms 100
Make a joyful shout to the Lord, all you lands.

The battle is the Lord's.  What is a joyful shout but a battle cry?  

Serve the Lord with gladness;

... even in difficult times, even in a blaze of fire, even when you storm the terrorist in a plane headed for the White House, even if you are all alone gasping for the next breath of air,...

come before His Presence with singing.

Singing changes your brain for the better even if all you can get out is a few whimpering notes... He hears you.  He is with you.  He is singing over you.  Can't you hear Him singing?

Know that the Lord, He is God; it is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
we are His people and the sheep of His pasture.

We were made by His Hand and He has plans for us.  We are weak.  He is strong.  He is our Hope and all we have to do is trust and obey Him.  What a Great Shepherd He is.  We are NEVER EVER FORSAKEN!  Keep marching onward! 

Enter into His Gates with Thanksgiving, and into His Courts with Praise, be thankful to Him, and bless His Holy Name.

If is time to go on into Glory what better way to do so than with thanksgiving when meeting God face to face.  If is time to stay here and come before Him in prayer and all is taken from my hand, it is His plan not my own and I will come before Him and thank Him for what I did have and will wait upon the Lord for what is and is to come.

For the Lord is good; His Mercy is everlasting, and His Truth endures to all generations.

Yes, the kids will know not only their earthy father but their Heavenly Father as well.  God is both Protector and Provider.  We shall meet again.  I have the memories.  We serve and love the One True God.  Those who come behind us will know of our love for each other but more importantly for our Lord and Master.

The visuals are overloading my mind as I step into the 'shoes'.  I am sure the emotions would be raw and the cracks would be in my voice but what strength I find in Psalms 100 and would want to give it out to my loved ones whether or not it was me facing the my final (finest) hours or it was my loves ones.  

O to enter HIS GATES a shouting!!!!!  with all the JOY within me bursting out of all my seams!  What a way to go!!!!  

Wildwood dreams ...

I had a daydream where I was riding a mighty steed in a hard run. The mighty steed's mane and tail whipped wildly in the wind as did my heavy hooded cloak. I am making my way to the Little Church of the Wildwood where I would dine at a banquet feast as well as to lay down my heavy pack upon the Alter of Prayer. Afterwards I am looking forward to a more leisurely ride home. The songbird of Hope would be singing Joyfully within my heart. I would feel a glow...

However, the daydream becomes more sinister as my steed is wildly charging forward in a heavy sweat. I am frantically holding on as well as holding onto the Sword of the Lord. The church isn't like the one of the Wildwood. This one is broken down and is vandalized by man's own message and agenda. A heavy darkness the air and a sticky fog fills the brain. The Word of God is betrayed and deface. It is a war to getting back to our first love...

I weep as I am surface from my daydream.... God's Word is the Truth, the Life, the Way I must hold too. All I need is written in His Book. I never thought I would have to be a crusader of love for His Word to my own people and my own place...

The Church has One Foundation
Long with a scornful wonder,
We saw her sore oppressed
By schisms rent asunder,
By heresies distressed.
Yet saints their watch were keeping
To hail a brighter day,
When God should stop their weeping,
Take their reproach away.

restraint!!!

'Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but blessed is he who keeps the law'
- Prov 29:18

I have come this proverb often and it catches me in wonder. We are having problems with church and the pastor. There seems to be much about feeling good with God instead of obedience. I just can't help but see that there is no real revelation of God or His Word in the pulpit. It is hard to look around and see so many taking this. What really blows my mind is that the older and wiser (?) ones do not do a thing about it. Dad says that they did do something about in a few years back and that they are to tired to do something now. Dad is frustrated as the power has skipped his generation and has gone to the younger ones who have no real depth and root in the Word. All restraint is off. World ways have gain access into the believer's way. Old Paths have been forgotten...

As for me my choice must remain in the Word and to keep Old Paths...

LIFE!

After having a very heated argument over pro-life or pro-choice, God has been bring life/death situations and His Word to my attention. Like the a father in England emailing his children in the States about his choosing the assisted suicide in Sweden and having it viewed on the web for all to see. A previous assisted suicide was either a soccer or ruby player also of England who was paralyzed at the neck down and decide it wasn't worth living anymore. Just sad. I have to give a disclaimer here. I am very empathic and what I mean is that I lean in and listen to people's life stories and passions. Then I try on their shoes and walk in their path. So life to me isn't a cheap and easy answer.

A co-worker told me about her husband's fast moving cancer that claimed his life in a matter of 11 months! I couldn't help but have some private and personal questions about how much I would do to save my life if I was facing a cancer monster. Would I go through all the 'treatments' to have it claim my life anyways? Then I felt very conflicted over these suicides..

Then God reminded me of His Blessing for us when we choose life. ''See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in His Ways, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to His Voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and He will give you many years in the land He swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. ~Duet 30:15-20 No it isn't easy but remember God has given us Joni who after a diving accident that broke her neck leaving her paralyzed to this day. It has not been easy yet she choose life! I will have to dig out her book but I do think she thought of ending it all. Not so anymore. Look at the blessing God has poured into her life!

Now if I can harbor this Word in my heart so that it flows out naturally when an old friend calls me, maybe she will see God and see how precious life truly is ....

A little side note that in a way fits here because choosing life is obeying .. I found a recent saying that I wish I had in my growing up years. 'Obedience brings blessing. Disobedience brings punishment.' Do you know that the best way to love God is to obey?

unscathed & unmarred ...

''I just don't understand why you would say no to my friendship and say yes to a silent telephone and quiet evenings all by yourself with no one to talk to. I just don't understand.''

''I am sorry but my no is a solid no. I cannot defend myself before you in this matter. If my fate is to spend the rest of my days and evenings alone, the God I serve will defend and will commune with me. He will rescue me from myself and from loneliness. But even if He doesn't me from aloneness, I will not compromise the way that I live. I desire to live truthfully so that what I think, I can say and what I say, I do. No secrets. I will not worship my desires but will worship the One True God. I am a free woman! Why be bound to my lusts? Yes, I may live in my head too much but like the days of old when Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were thrown into the furnace, there was the Son of God walking about with them. Not hair was singed. I too can throw out my fears and doubts that lick like flames around my tortured mind and heart. I too can walk about hand in hand with the Son of God in this furnace call loneliness and come out unscathed. I am precious in His sight and will always be unmarred...''

here's to a modern day Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego story ... Daniel 3

Zimbabwe ...

Horizon

I received an emergency letter from Horizon. Zimbabwe is in crisis and the government is cutting limbs and destroying people's homes. The orphans and their caretakers are in danger. Please pray and surround these kids and their caretakers with promises from God's Word. The letter was long and I am just giving you bare facts. Simple prayers are very powerful at the feet of the Almighty God. These are troubling times. Just turn on the world news. South Africa where my girl is located is in danger of unrest too. Fight back with God's Promises. Don't let it get you down...

Mat 19:14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

Psa 82:3 Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy.

to be your friend ...

Dear Precious Gift,
I choose to be your friend whether you choose me back or not! It was confirmed once again to my heart last night.

I thanked God for you after our first meeting and have enjoyed our talks ever since. It seemed you cared back. I still have the memories. I cannot nor will I lean on my own understandings because it leaves me waffling back and forth wondering what I meant to you. I choose faith that the good work God has begun in you will continue until we meet again and not fear of rejection and aloneness. I choose faith that God will chase you down with the Joy that is only found in Him and not fear that the melchoney will take root in your heart. I choose faith that God will show you trust and not fear that you will never know how sure it is. I choose faith that God will hedge you in and protect you from the enemy who is a thief. I shall not fear.

So be gone forever but it is God Who whispers to my heart and directs my paths. He seems to be telling me to stay your friend and work it out in prayer. You can throw away friends but you cannot throw away a prayer warrior! Too stealth! Too powerful! I may never know the power of prayer here on earth when it comes to saving a soul from danger but when Heaven opens wide the annuals of history, I will trace my prayers and bow in awe of God and His Awesomeness...

Don't get me wrong, I see my talks with God every day that help me through and I am brought low. But when it comes to prayer for others, they never let me in to see. I am cursed that way. Like in the Wonderful Life when they prayed for George, I shall see God's Handiwork first hand one day in your life.

Shhh, my mind. Shhh, my heart and soul. Hide away. Hide away.....
always here - waiting for your final 'I'm back' ...,
a keeper

a distress damsel psalm ...

I've hinted to the fact that I am in the backyard of my 30's. I guess I am freaking out a bit emotionally too - not at my age (suppose that will happen soon) but at these rollercoaster feelings and the knowledge of the craziness my mother felt. {screams} I just want to move through this phase of my life with all the good lessons I've learned so far like the joy and continue through with more joy, tranquility, and gentleness. I don't want anger to rule my life...

I connected few dots yesturday and I am on the point of breaking through to something huge for myself. It makes me quite excited and I hope that by weeks end when my vacation is ending that I have 'my own best friend habits' set in place. Meaning a way to fight back and save me from the 'internal social pressures' that run amuck in women my age... I am enough and loved.. Now lets take a look a woman's fairytale of a psalms!

One of the major connecting of the dots for me was reading Psalms 18 through the eyes of a woman instead of a soldier or through King David. Put on your female eyes and try it with all the muck that is going on in your life and include your fairytale story and see how this psalm changes your life...


Psalms 18: 1-6 speaks of your love for God and His Mighty ways in your life. Then you call out to be saved from your enemies. What is your enemy? Death - when you just want to live. Death for the woman is feeling like no one cares that your nose is the only thing that is staying above the torent waters. You are treading water but nothing is keeping you afloat. You are tired. You are doing everything and being everybody to family, work etc. Quite simply, you are trying to be the best you and the emotions and feelings are telling you 'not enough, you are just not enough!' So you cry out to God who has been there and has shown Himself to you before but you just not feeling it now and that makes you feel bad even worse.

Now this is the exciting part! Check out Psalms 18: 8-19! How many of us has dreamed of that prince on a white horse coming to our rescue? Why can't there be that rescue for this poor damsel in distress? HERE IT IS!!!! DRINK IT IN!!! See how our woes and distresses anger our God? He is enraged that the enemy is stealing our Joy and our strength. Here in these verses I am floored at the description of His Anger! {dances the happiest jig ever} Read that over and over until you feel it real in your life. Then watch Him swoop down and feel yourself swing through the air coming to rest behind God on His mighty white work stallion. Wrap your arms around Him and don't let go!

Psalms 18:20-24 is where you tell God what you have done in the right ways. It is an honesty check but when you have down the right ways and talk that out to God, you know by keeping His Ways there is blessing there. You are reminding yourself not God because He already knows. It is time for you to get into your path and see through. It is understanding that even when you do everything right and it feels like failure, that is the enemy talking. You talk back with the God-Blessings that you receive by doing right ways.

Psalms 18:25-36 is declaring God Attributes in your life path. Again it is you talking back or aloud about how your Prince has rescued you and has fought the battle for you. It is a self reminder not to get stuck in not being enough. That is death. Stay away from it. God is your Source. He is your Everything from Alpha to Omega. He is your Commander. He has your orders and the way to do them. He is your Husbandman and Keeper. He is your Creator and He sure created us a bit more intricate and intimate that man. He understands all our nuances. He made us this way for a reason - for marriage and for man. He created us naturing and beautiful - two aspects of His Nature. Who else should we go to if we are feeling used up and ugly? The Source!!!! Fill up!!!

Psalms 18:37-42 is showing how God Attributes come through us. He arms us with strength / joy for the battle before us. Look how we crush our destroyers! We are not destroyed. We have the victory.

Psalms 18:42-50 is praise to God who rescued us. We are His chosen and that does not mean we lay down and die. We arise and claim victory over all that seek to crush us. The enemy hates our beauty. Satan will do anything to undermine us. By doing so he thinks he can bring down God. We know this yet our actions say we don't believe that God is our Salvation and Rescuer. Time to live this Psalm out moment by moment. Our story is a romance story and it has a happy ending. Time to make victory in our middles....

{wails beating my chest it is so powerful}

knitted together ...

I was sorting through the Bible stories looking for those who battled and journeyed alone in their walk with God. I will admit that you can make your list of those who had to go it alone but as I have encountered each of these courageous men and women, it has been God-proved to me that they did not go it alone! There is only One who had total separation but more on that later. Because I have been mentally scouring through all the stories and have been reading Ephesians and Colossians, I strongly believe that we are ‘knitting together’ and not made to do it alone. (I will not even use Adam here … which has been my favorite lean-on example!)

~ K i n g D a v i d ~
I believe that God personally put King David into hiding not to spare his life but to give David some training in humility. But take a closer look in those caves and who do you see with David? Hundreds upon hundreds of men who chose to risk everything to fight with their future king. Amazing!!! David did not ask these men to come with him. They chose!

Beware of those that are here … they are probably sent by God to keep you from the dangers of depression.

~ Q u e e n E s t h e r ~
I believe that God used a love story to prove once again that He has a bigger plan. Even though you may have a small and beautiful role, He connects you to others. See how Queen Esther asked her people to fast and pray for her as she approached her husband the king without an invitation. Remember what happened to the other queen who did not obey? God used Esther to save the Israelis from mass murder but only from these same people supporting their queen.

The only two things that are Eternal are God’s Word and people.

~ C a i n ~
This is a very intriguing story. I sometimes feel for poor Cain. God commanded a certain way to worship Him – a first born lamb. Not vegetables! Yes, Cain being a farmer is going to bring his first fruits but he never went to his brother Abel for a trade of goods. Rather Cain invoked God’s wrath and in turn killed Abel. God in His Infinite Wisdom marked Cain forever for not humbling himself in worship and being his brother’s keeper. Cain was to live out his days excluded from all mankind because any one who came in contact with Cain quickly would get away. There would be no end to this isolation because with the mark no one would raise a hand to kill Cain or they would be stuck down by God.

Not the way I would want to live. All of this could have been avoided!

No matter what God has designed each of our lives to be our brother’s keeper.


~ J e s u s ~
The Son of God is the one and only person listed in the whole Bible who had to go utterly and completely alone on His Journey. After the humiliation and the beating in front of a screaming hateful crowd, Jesus was nailed to the cross to die for the payment of our sins. It was so much more than anyone of us could bear. The freak storm was not an accident. It was God turning His back on all the ugliness and intolerable sin that Jesus carried for us. The Son cried out ‘’ My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?’’ Talk about a horrific burden to bear alllllllll alone!

God has never turned His back on us. He is the Unchangeable God. He is the Forever and For Always God. He chose us! Then He chose to love us! We never go it alone when we seek to walk with Him. Not only do we have Him but He has put in place a support system of people to help us along the way. Sometimes they are there all along and sometimes a hardship comes our way so that we will seek support and to be a support to others. WoooWeeeee, I love how God works!

To humbly walk with God may mean to humbly open our vision and our hearts to what is beyond the loud of our worlds.

~ E p h e s i a n s & C o lo s s i a n s ~
The author of these two letters is none other than Paul whose love language is touch. When reading these letters they are very similar because the recipients where in two different locations but needed the same encouragement. Encouragement to grasp the saving knowledge of Christ’s love and to serve others in this love. Listen in.

’… for we are His Workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them … eph 2:10

‘ … that you being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height – to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, that you maybe filled with all the fullness of God …eph 3:17-18

‘… with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love … eph 4:2

‘… walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma… eph 5:2’

‘… Redeeming the time, because the days are evil … eph 5:16’

‘… that their hearts may be encouraged, being knitted together in love … col 2:2’

‘… put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a compliant against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection … col 3:12-14’ (ouch!!!)

‘… redeeming the time … col 4:5’

Over and over again Paul, the toucher, encourages the believers to exercise the greatest command, love one another. He does not want the believers to be so light or careless with those they are in contact with in their every day worlds. This is not just a lesson for back then but for now as well. It just might be more important today as we have so many ways to bond with others yet we have become so impersonal and extremely careless with our actions. Paul also addressed the lovers who get hurt .. forgive and keep on loving. (ouch!)

Love is the chains, bonds, and weight of perfection

~ L O V E ~
Take love itself as described throughout the pages of the Bible. Love is not a gooey noun. Rather it is a hard working action verb. Love is love when you do it to someone meaning it flows from you to another. Christ Himself is the perfect example for trading in His Beauty for the ashes He received from us. Love is the tender affirming words. Love is the quality time spent listening or sampling just being with someone. Love is serving someone in a task that just might be tough for them. Love is giving a special gift that is purely perfect for them. Love is touching not just physical but includes the forgotten ways like mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

A believer’s job? LOVE

I just cannot apologize for the strong convictions that have grown more intense these recent days about the people-bonds that believers are asked to do with their lives. I had a question pop into my head that if God really thinks His Bride is so beautiful and He takes time to invest so much into her so that she is in full bloom when He receives her into His Kingdom, how can His Bride is be more beautiful as this age is waxing old and thin? (completely astounded!) I see and feel so many hurtful, careless actions done toward each other. It is not just loud and ugly things we do, but also the casual and very sloppy way we treat each other. Loneliness is not exclusive but everywhere. It is felt in the tone of voice, the roll of the eyes, the indifference... It can be said that isolation stops when you reach out and touch someone, but not so. When it comes to humans, love is a give and take. It is high time that we calculate what Eternal repercussions at stake when our vision is only set to the surface. Look deep. Be a feeler. Be a sensitive. Be a conductor of this Precious Love Bond as Called of us.

'... orders remain unchanged ...'

make new wine ...

Have you found yourself stuck on things you want to change whether in your personal life or your family life and it just seems to be passed down from one generation to the next? It could be the consequence of the sins of a father or maybe it is simple as a trait that seemingly holds you back.

I have a trait that I will share and some secret ones I am still working on but this is the month it all coming at me at once so now it the time to buckle down. Our family has problems communicating. Plans are made on half the info and then we wonder how things could go so wrong. I have thought about this and still have no easy solution. Breaking bad habits is not the way to change rather making good habits is.

A good habit that I started last year was having a Barbarian Night in August. Some things happened that I was not in the right frame of mind to make it happen this year. So I am going to try something at Thanksgiving. After Daddy prays I am going to have every one volunteer a sentence of what they are especially thankful for this year. This is good communication and insight into each person's life journey. What better way to enable us to have empathy for our family members' dreams? Then at Christmas ask everyone to share a Christmas wish for the up coming year. Or maybe mix it up a bit...

I am still thinking. Games are not well loved by all in my household so that is an out. But I am still thinking so maybe I can come up with some ideas for good communication without it feeling like medicine.