taking a wife ...

Cancer took another wife today.  Yes, women are like a fine china teacup and men are sturdy ruff and tuff  fill a man's hand coffee mug but when it comes to death taking a spouse I always thought a woman could handle it better.  No, they don't want too but to be male and to be the left behind seems so painfully fragile.

"A wife of noble character who can find/
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value,
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
Charm is deceptive,
and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:10, 11, 12, 25, 30

"A wise woman builds her house"
"those who plan good find love & faithfulness."
Proverbs 14:1, 22

who will help me?

An interesting conversation came up when I went down to help finish up the odds and ends of my little brother's classroom.  He is a counselor for emotionally challenged kids and this year they moved the alternative school to an abandoned elementary school.  He was excited to get a classroom where he could spread out a bit and to keep it a place where kids can come in and relax.  He cannot use any time to prep the room.  He has to focus his time on his kids.  I jumped at the chance to help him flesh out his vision on my days off from my job.

It was Friday before school started for the year.  I arrived 9:30AM and he gave me the low down of what he wanted to finish for the day.  So I set about cutting out maps and other things as he was dragged off to help newbies.  In fact he spent most of his time helping others out.  He was frustrated that he couldn't spend more time helping me get his room in order.  I kept telling him that was the reason I came to help.  I was that extra body.  We didn't finish until 8:30PM.

He still fussed a bit saying that "I am helping everyone else and I can't get my stuff done.  Who helps me?" What blurted out of my mouth was quite profound because I spent no time thinking about it.  "You help others and they can't help you but you have other helpers that come along to help you that you probably won't be able to help back.  You 'help' it forward like the pay it forward concept." The minute I said it I knew that I did not believe it to be true.  It just feels that you help and help and where is your help?  I truly knew how he felt.

Even two weeks since, I am still weighing it out.  I know myself well enough to know that I am a helper through and through.  I have the mother instinct and can sense danger before it happens and does something about it.  I have this mother protecter instinct and to think I have no kids.  I am a first born so it does come naturally.  Now that my siblings and I are adults I find that I am now a family keeper trying to keep us all together as life wants to pull us apart.  I notice that this helper instinct is my spiritual gift.  I can come along a leader or someone who needs help and know what to do to help bring their dream alive.  We all need help even helpers.  So what do you do when you are feeling empty and at wits end?

I know that God is my Help.  Hiding away His Word in my heart and resting in His Assurances is a must.  When I am full I can bubble over and fill others .... 

God Sent Me You

sung by: Blake Sheldon
lyrics by: Dave Barnes


I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
And watch as the storm blows through
And I need you
Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you
Gave me you

There’s more here than what we’re seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
And I’ll be the flattered fool
And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
He gave me you. 


~~~~~~~


{{{hmmm}}}

Crazy Girl

sung by: Eli Young Band
Songwriters: Elisabeth Rose;Lee Brice

Baby why you wanna cry?
You really oughta know that 
I just have to walk away sometimes

We're gonna do what lovers do
We're gonna have a fight or two
But I ain't ever changing my mind

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?

I wouldn't last a single day
I'd probably just fade away
Without you I'd lose my mind

Before you ever came along
I was living life all wrong
The smartest thing I ever did was make you all mine

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman, come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?
Like crazy, girl

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?

Like crazy
Crazy girl
Like crazy
Crazy girl




*****
{{{you calling me crazy! }}}
（＊^.  ^＊）

as for me ...

When he has been gone for six years and suddenly pops back in your life and forgiveness happens and things are back to normal ... well, normal as in the connection is still there but also the normal of his absence began to accumulate - three weeks to be exact!  {takes in deep breath} No! I wasn't going to go there. I wasn't going to go ballistic but it didn't mean that my feelings weren't a bit raw.  

God answered my prayer in six years when I had expected to find out in Heaven.  What if God gave me my answer to take it back again?  Would I be ok?  Well, I would have to be after an answered prayer that rocked my world.  So... now what?  

I decided I would wait until four weeks had gone by all the while asking God deal with him.  I didn't have to wait that long before I found out from him that some changes where happening in his life and there would be some wait times and maybe longer wait times than the 3 weeks.  Here again it was God working the plans out so that I wouldn't go crazy.  And just like that it zapped my frazzled heart into a calming stillness. 

So this girl is just going to take this really cool friendship in stride.  This guy will have to lead; I refuse too.  But there isn't just two sides to this relationship.  God is the third part and because He has been soooo gooood to me with this relationship, I am at rest and it feels so good.  I know me and there will still be anxious moments but I know how to stop it. 

But as for me,

it is good to be near God.

I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;

      I will tell of Your Deeds.

Psalms 73:28

As for me I chose to love one another and I will keep choosing to love one another  ....