stars are falling ...

I have looked out upon the earth only to find an obsession over the body. There is an excess of ink like they can't get enough of touch. There is an excess of clothes or lack there of like they can't get enough attention. There is an excess of glossing over whether it is plastic surgery or painkillers. I have looked out upon the earth to see that the bottom line is numb out the pain because in earth's view pain is meaningless.

"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 1:2


I have looked out upon the earth only to find that we have not grown up. There is a response as of a teenager. Gossip and rumors flood twitter and then that becomes news. Where is the self control and restraint that grow ups should have? It is sad day to see the earth grow dark when a star falls even when the Sun is out.

'O simple ones, understand PRUDENCE, and you fools, be of an understanding heart. Listen, for I will speak of excellent things, and from the opening of my lips will come right things. ' Prov 8:5-6

Are you seeking? Is there not enough to fill you? Do you feeling worthless? Do you need attention?

Honestly, everyone feels this even if they lie to your face. Man is weak and fails you. Only God can fill you and He never fails... When stars fall, I have the Jesus Christ the Son of God who suffered pain, my pain, so I can give it all to Him to carry. He never fails. The Son never dims or goes out...

Philipians 3:18-21 For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the Cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in Heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, Who, by the Power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His Glorious Body

to truly touch ...

I watched City of Angels last night and no, I am not going to go off on the angels bit. However, I am going to have to go off on touch. I am probably going to do a big no no here by using an earthy movie to prove a Kingdom value. It is to put you in my shoes and hopefully see through my eyes...

I developed a considerable relationship. We talked about what moved us. What touches me deeply is words. For this other person it was touch. I felt at a disadvantage because there were many miles of dirt and ocean between us and I wasn't that into touch but was willing to learn. As time progress my heart observed that this person seemed to lack trust but I didn't know how to speak up about it. Now as I look back, this person never allowed me to touch in a non-physical way and there has to be that option open!

Maybe it is the empathy that is so deep seated with me but people are so numb. (I too have to watch my numbness and nip it when it arises). This movie is really about feeling the pain and the beauty and not to waste it by just surviving. Note the pear. Seth had to keep on living and he went into the grocery store and so intent on filling the basket with pears. He could not get enough. He wanted what was and he needed to keep feeling. It was his way of keeping in touch with Maggie who died.

For me I can't get enough of all things Australia. My ears always perk up when I here an accent. Are they pushing the 'a' and the 'r' up through the nose? There is this story of a white haired man on George St in Sydney who use to pass out tracks. Then there are the stories of Australia. This white haired man has touched so many lives that my eyes tear up because I wonder how 'my' person is doing spiritually. Then just yesterday another guy named Ken with 'Answers in Genesis' had the perfect Ozzy accent and I was so into his story of faith. Then the OutBack Steakhouse commercials! Then there are the PBS specials on Australia and I am there soaking up every detail. It is me filling up on the 'pears'. It is me touching and feeling - trying to fill up on that person.

I wept as I talked to God. I have the a blue wooden sign in my living room. It reads 'Its a Wonderful Life.' I am all about TOUCH. Our lives touch other lives but we are so blind to it. It is time to pull back the veil and see just below the surface. It is about getting inside the other's shoes. It is listening and feeling. It is not about being so caught up with just our own selves and lives. I know this person's hangs ups and frustrations. And I think these things has caused numbness and there was no way for me to touch and move this person. So that leaves out the question if this person ever thinks of me... I keep praying for a joy evasion on this person life. This is the one thing I know to touch even if I won't know on earth.

Sighs... It is my soapbox and just another thing that ostracizes me from others... the glazing in eyes as I wax on and on about depth...

If touch is your love language, how do let others touch you in a non-physical way?
If you don't allow someone in on your adventure, how can you end up in the same place?
If you don't let someone in your worse, how can you really know they love you?

What moves you? What is your love language? How can you involve another to what moves you? Shouldn't gratitude involve all your senses?

Now that is something to try -
Involve your senses (even your 6th) in gratitude. Be shaken. Be stirred. Be impassioned. I think your knees will weaken and you will find yourself kneeling before the Awesome God...

Happy 5th Birthday, llj!

I started LLJ back in 2005 after a terrible month of May where a confidant wrote a good riddance letter and I was left sorely lacking in the conversation department. This confidant gave me a place to vocalize all the words that had been trapped for so long. I am a girl even if a bit on the quiet side and girls need to get their word allotment in or they become a not so nice word. One of the things the confidant had put out there was something about doing a blog together. I had begun the research and without his two cents anymore, I begun to pour my heart out here.

LLJ allowed me to vocalize and I found myself more peaceful. LLJ lets me speak and doesn't shut me up. Typing and seeing my words form on a white space gives my brain the allowance to think. It still amazes me that I might start with a very small speck of thought and then as my fingers do the writing dance, my brain begins to form strong thoughts, questions, and confidences.

I had hoped that I my writing would find friendly ears. I had thought this would be a great way to make strong connections and find fellow deep thinkers. I had also thought this would help me gauge my writing and thinking skills but no bites. So I keep training...

I started an addition in the past six months where I couldn't get enough of the Amigurumi world. From this I have grown the blogs I read. I love to listen to other women whether it be about their life, their home, or their craft. Reading blogs, crocheting, and my day job have sorely bit into my writing time. But I am a listener at heart and I find blogs a way to 'make friends' without them ever knowing and without the rejection or I have no time for you or your single and I am married jargon! Lame, I know but it is honest. All those barriers are gone in the blog world. Rock on wall flower girl!

So here is to the 5th year of the joys of writing and listening. May the this Mysterious Adventure I call my life-walk with Jesus Christ be fuller and richer with each new day.

4th bday
blogsphere

to my dear parents,

Happy 42nd Anniversary!

When the world teaches that friendships and relationships are 'throw-away-able', you two have shown the endurance and tenacity it takes in a valuable marriage.

Often when I come home from my family time with you two, I am thanking my Heavenly Father for you both. I am blessed to have your love and help. I cherish us!

When two people fell in love, a relationship rippled out and a family began. You two have shown us the value of having a relationship with Jesus Christ through voice but most importantly through God's Design of His Love via marriage and family.

always bunches of love.
your daughter

Tattered flag ...

I love Old Glory. It is a unique flag with colors of Red, White, & Blue. My home's color scheme is based on these colors from the cobalt blue jars and bottles to creamy stars. Blue is soothing and calm with a confidence to keep at the fight of good. Red is that fight and struggle to keep prudent and not let it be a bad thing to care for the values and morals of this country. White is standing on the absolutes of God's Right Ways.

I always see the Francis Scott Key's flag as he wrote about it so long ago. His eyes beheld a tatter flag. I can't help but see that this beautiful flag has become very tattered and frayed. We no longer put our trust in God and when we do that God no longer blesses us. We cannot cry out 'God Bless America' when we no longer fight for right ways.

Life in the womb is no longer precious nor is the role of women or men. We would rather change our sex or go same sex as an act of defacing the very Creator who created us as such. Yes, the flag is tattered .... and yet we want to be blessed..

"The wise woman builds her house. but the foolish pulls it down with her hands'' Prov 14:1

I have work to do ...

American Flag Day

to keep vs to discard ...

'A season for everything' ... a time to keep and a time to discard - This has gotten me into a real think tank again. I thought I was ok with it but it is a thorn that keeps poking me. I am a keeper hence the name I keep. At the beginning of this blog I had been discarded and it provoked me. I have always been a keeper. Yes, I know I need to discard some things around the home but what really gets the anger flowing through me is when we discard people and relationships. Now don't think that I haven't done my fair share of discarding. I have discarded a relationship that was hindering my walk with God and it wasn't taken lightly. For the most part I tend to keep and there is the issue of holding my hands too tightly.

Father Abraham had to learn the season of discarding by keeping his hands open and offering up Isaac to God in a sacrifice. When Abraham was willing to do so even in much pain, his hands hand were empty so he could hold onto the God-Given promise of the son and generations that numbered the stars to follow. I have dealt with the questions of have I kept my hands open and allowed God the gift He gave me. I know I failed and I wonder if even with the gift gone, are my hands still open?

A modern day story has me wondering about how to know if it is the season to keep or to discard. A son taken by a native Brazilian mother back to her home country and then divorced her husband. She remarried and then later died. The father has been trying to get his son back home but the mother's family is holding on very tightly.

Shouldn't a father go after his son and never give up? How far does he go? Should he give up and if so when? When do you do all you can and when do you let God handle it? What does it mean to let go? Are you discarding if you let go? Or can discarding be a form of empty the hands so you have room to hold on to God's Almighty Hand?

Do not answer the questions to quickly or even at all. This is too hard to fathom. It is too huge for my heart and mind. I am left to wondering if the seasons of keep and of discard are similar in the fact that the main question to ask oneself is what will honor God? Even so, the season to keep and the season of discard is a ripping of the heart....

don't speak ... just listen...

growing faith ...

In a conversation of a friendship that needed to end the guy told the girl that he had never met someone so intent on growing. The girl took it as a compliment even if it didn't seem to be. She was growing and hoped that she could prove her growth by ending this friendship that should not be.

With my years on this earth I cannot imagine not growing. As I look at other earthlings I wonder if they feel the same way or not or if they are just contented with life as is. The boy in above story seems to be one that just takes life as is and himself as is. I find that stagnate and if there is seeking, it is a seeking after things that cannot satisfy. This would drive me crazy!

I am trying to move from strength to strength as described in Psalms 84:5-7.
"Bless is the man whose strength is in You,
whose heart is set on a pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca/Weeping,
they make it a spring;
the rain also covers it with pools.
They go from strength to strength..."


I was listening to Pastor Adrien Rogers this week and he spoke on growth. I took some notes:
'When you cease to grow you cease to go good.''
*faith that knows
+faith that grows
+faith that shows
=fruitful (not barren)

Add to your faith
virtue
knowledge
temperance / self control
patience
loving kindness
charity
~II Peter 1:5

'It is a precious faith. Give all diligence to grow.'