katrina's gray skies...

The dull gray clouds settled in my day to match the mood of my heart....

A man in a daze holding on to his children walking aimlessly. His house split and he held his wife's hand as long as he could. She told him look after and take care of the children and the grandchildren. He doesn't know where she went. When asked where he was going, he said "I'm lost.... I don't know ... I'm lost."

Please hold on ... Please. To give is truly an American thing to do. We are coming. Let us hold you. Let us cry with you. Let us rebuild together. Let us declare victory over the little things ..... We will over come together.

At the New Orleans Dome a man who was playing dominos on the second floor simply got up shouted to those below to move out of the way. He then went over the side to his death.

Makes your heart stop..... Please hold on ... you are not alone. We will come....

What will break a man:
Just this weekend I heard David Ramsy, a financial speaker, say that the top reason for male suicide is money! A male is built for work. He tends to eat, think, and sleep work. What he does with his hands defines who he is. Take away his work and all the things he has provided for his wife and kids, you have a dead man walking. Men provide. Men are proud. They do not like to ask for help.

What will break a woman:
Plain and simple .. take away her kids. (Taking away her husband can break a woman only if she is totally head over heels in love with him.) A woman is the bearer of life and that bond that she developed with her children never seem to die off. One thing in favor of woman is that she is built for hardship. She knows how to survive loss much better than her counterpart only maybe because she is not tooooo proud to ask for help.

My heart is very troubled for the men. I think the best approach for the men that have not yet reached their breaking point is to find something for their hands to do. It does not matter how small it may seem at the time. Every moment counts now. For those men that have reached their breaking point it comes down to other men coming along side them and giving them work to do. Together we can over come.

My heart feels pretty confident with the women. They are adaptable and resilient. But we women need to do something. We do not like to be left out. For all women it is our job to bring beauty back into the world. It nourish us as well as our families. We like to celebrate. Let us celebrate each day and each triumph.

"Every crisis has a gift for you in its hand" - ancient proverb

Thank You, God, for creating a job for men and for women in the life you gave us. Even in crisis life is still an adventure to life to the fullest. And in crisis there is a lot of mystery we wait for you to reveal to us. Thank You for Your Strength and Compassion .... from this well I find my strength and compassion....

"The mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but My Compassion shall not depart from thee, neither shall the convenant of My Peace be removed," saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee. - Isa 54:10

Storm Calmer part one
Storm Calmer part two

say it like it is...

There is a dormant list tacked on her refrigerator door. It is on sterdy red paper written nicely meant to hold a place in a book. She put it there at eye level hoping the words would hold a place in her heart. The list goes like this:

Celebrate life.
Keep it simple.
Laugh out loud.
Cherish friendships.
Say it like it is.
Make people smile.

Celebrate life, laughing out loud, and making people smile were the lessons she got and totally enjoyed. Not easy but they have given her a lot of satisfaction.

Keep it simple is a tough go because her mind goes a mile a minute in all kinds of directions. So it is a work in process.

To think she thought cherishing friendship would be her most easy task, has a been her nightmare. Scraping this notion gave her the eyes to see that cherishing family should be her start.

Now comes 'say it like it is'. This does not sit well with her. Like today for instance there is a woman that she works with that is plain out rude. She has been fighting an internal battle at being nice. She tries every day to not slander and to be peaceable. So how does she be nice and say it like it is that "hey, this type of talk is the problem......"

clouds after the storm...

Looking to the southern skies I saw the outer reaches of Lady Katrina's clouds tonight. She is quiet here yet her look is strong. Even though her fury is spent, her tears are predicted to flood hard in many places. Tomorrow will tell if she will rain down on me. But tonight we had a silent meeting.

The 'pinking hour' broke through my window and I came to watch her clouds. Dark blue was the tops with pink slashes underneath. Moments tick by as I was mesmerized by the beauty and the calm. I knew her Master. Today as I waited to hear of the Lady Kat's passing, I felt the Master flex His Everlasting Arms .....

Thank You, Master Creator and Calmer. You again romanced me with Your Strength and Beauty.

Storm Calmer part one
Storm Calmer part three

storms & the Storm-Calmer...

Storms are angry and violent, powerful and distructive. When we look out and see the force, our hearts well up in fear. Questions beat us up. Whether it is a hurricane or a new kidney the body is rejecting, we look for a sure place.

"Sometimes He calms the storm
And sometimes He holds His child and let the winds and waves go wild."
don't close your heart to Him .. His Joy seeketh you through the pain

Storm Calmer part two
Storm Calmer part three

Hesed...

I found a new word to enjoy. Hesed (hebrew) means 'unfailing love' ... a promise keeping love. No matter what you are not alone. I, the Ancient of Days, am here with you. "Hang onto My Hand.... I know what lies ahead in your journey and I will walk with you ..."(deut 31:8)
mizpah

what if i loved myself...?

What would happen if I decided to be my own best friend...
to lavish myself with attention,
to give myself the benefit of the doubt,
to cheer myself on with utmost attention?

My pitcher would be full and overflowing to lavish my love to those loved ones I cherish. I would be happier and lighter. My world still would try to crush me, but my joy has proven to be quite strong and resilient. Nurished from within I am more able to delight in the beauty and discoveries of nature. ...a satisfying relief in this sweltering earth.

a pure jealous love....

Spurgeon's Morning Devotions Morning, August 26
"God is jealous." - Nahum 1:2

Your Lord is very jealous of your love, O believer. Did He choose you? He cannot bear that you should choose another. Did He buy you with His own blood? He cannot endure that you should think that you are your own, or that you belong to this world.

He loved you with such a love that He would not stop in Heaven without you; He would sooner die than you should perish, and He cannot endure that anything should stand between your heart's love and Himself. He is very jealous of your trust. He will not permit you to trust in an arm of flesh.

He cannot bear that you should hew out broken cisterns, when the overflowing fountain is always free to you. When we lean upon Him, He is glad, but when we transfer our dependence to another, when we rely upon our own wisdom, or the wisdom of a friend-worst of all, when we trust in any works of our own, He is displeased, and will chasten us that He may bring us to Himself. He is also very jealous of our company.

There should be no one with whom we converse so much as with Jesus. To abide in Him only, this is true love; but to commune with the world, to find sufficient solace in our carnal comforts, to prefer even the society of our fellow Christians to secret intercourse with Him, this is grievous to our jealous Lord. He would fain have us abide in him, and enjoy constant fellowship with Himself; and many of the trials which He sends us are for the purpose of weaning our hearts from the creature, and fixing them more closely upon Himself. Let this jealousy which would keep us near to Christ be also a comfort to us, for if he loves us so much as to care thus about our love we may be sure that He will suffer nothing to harm us, and will protect us from all our enemies. Oh, that we may have grace this day to keep our hearts in sacred chastity for our Beloved alone, with sacred jealousy shutting our eyes to all the fascinations of the world!

Another dear picture of how God choose to have a marriage relationship with us. When I get weary in the heat of the battle, I sure have a place to hide and to fill up on His love. To love like that and to be love .... beautiful....

Spurgeon: monster unbelief

his absolutes...

1. you must be a safe place for me ... everyday
2. you must support me as a ... team
3. you must get me
4. you must enjoy my stength .. physical and inside strength
5. i must have no doubt that you will find me if i would ever fall off the edge of the world

No, not asking a lot am I? But if you can support me as I go conquer my world, then you know the entrance into my inner sanctum!

This is a male voice. He is sorta stuck between going out there to conquer. He likes that freedom yet if he can also fight for his girl, he is a better man. He sometimes forget to lean into her support. He is the pursuer and it is not a good place for a female to pursue him. (She will not know where his heart is.) If he can feel that she values him and what he does with his hands, strength wells up from his heart. He is amazed at her openness to him. He feels like the luckiest guy. This inspires him to work on the marriage.

hers...

her absolutes...

1. you must fight for me ... everyday
2. you must work with me as a ... team
3. you must speak my language
4. you must enjoy my beauty .. inside beauty
5. i must have no doubt that you will find me if i would ever fall off the edge of the world

No, not asking a lot am I? But if I expect this much from myself in my world, then you should know what it will take to gain entrance into my inner sanctum!

This is a female voice. Crying out to matter to someone. Not to be invisible to or alone with someone. Wanting to be loved for her mind, for her heart, and for her faith. Marriage is a team of two working and playing together. A safe place to be and a place to grow ... but to grow together as well. This female voice wants to love her man and she will if given the opportunity to be a teammate.... watch out she will love fiercely and passionately. She is not afraid of the work in fact she will work hard at the marriage every day ... every moment.....

his...

wonderfully made...

The Awesome Creator formed each of us and has wrapped up our unique passions, personality, and our one-of-a-kind purpose and tucked them into our hearts all designed to be unpackaged on our life journeys. These journeys are also crafted by God. So brilliant the design that as we unwrap our hearts, our passions and our purpose fuels a highly meaningful life. We live fully.

Lean in listen to His Still Firm Voice:
Dear Beloved,
How about off-roading your life with Me? Get dirty in My Holy Mud. It is a sacred learning adventure that is full of excitement and risk. I have mysteries to unfold for your deep intimate communion with Me. I love you. Your life is made for meaning. Seize Me. Give your R.S.V.P. Follow My Heart because I have already gone ahead. I know what is in store for you. Take My Hand I will go with you on this Adventure called Your Wonderful Life...
- Always Love Your Barbaric Warrior and Your Beautiful Almighty God.

Unleash your simple, intense, lovely, compassionate, passionate, intimate, sacrificial, raw, untamed faith.

persistent genuine love...

--like the dripping of water on a rock--can wear away a person's resistance.  It's nearly impossible to stay angry with or emotionally distant from someone who unconditionally loves and values you. - "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

God persistently loves us through the ages and He never gets weary. How many times has He cried at our resistance? Oceans full would be my guess. I get so tired as I try to love... especially when it seems to make no difference. But I believe in love and the power in it. ... soft & sure like a rain drop ...

Genuine love doesn't necessarily spring from feelings.  Its basis is primarily a concern for the welfare of another. Although the feelings of affection will follow, genuine love is initially an action directed toward fulfilling another person's needs. - From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Love gets a bad rap when it is associated with feelings. Rather Love is an action. Love shown tells you how much you are of value. God demostrated His love because He cares for our welfare. He wants us to live a full life.

stirred vs. stilled

He wants his heart to be stirred by her. She is his life. She is like breathing in fresh air. She is movement graceful and beautiful. She is fluid gentle and soft. She is energy sizzling.

She wants her heart to be stilled by him. He is her piller. He is like exhaling after a violent storm. He is calm in strength. He is fiercely protective with a hand on the small of her back. He is a rock solid.

ny vs midwest ... a conversation

"Hello!" In the background was of cars honking. He was calling again from his commute home at 7:30PM. He made his journey from NY to NJ every day yet he would always make a wrong turn somewhere along the way. Forget maps he couldn't read them.

"Hello back." She had already been home for a couple hours even though she live a time zone west of him. She was making her own background noice of washing dishes and cleaning up her kitchen.

"Long time no hear." Work was his main priority. He was always consumed by making a good impression on his projects or from a deep melancholy from being looked over by the higher ups. Either way he was most unreachable pretty much all the time.

"Yes, has been a long time." She was a very stable person. Everyone could count on her for her study work attendance. It is evident in her personal life as well. She never slacked on her relationships. So much so her heart would kick up a bit angered for being taken for granted.

At this time the conversation would be about the weather, each other's work life, and the family. Blah, Blah, Blah. Then he would get frustrated.

"The conversation never picks up where we left off. We are always having the same conversation over and over again ... on and on about the weather," he would spout out.

This would tick her off. He is silent months on end and thinks she can just carry on like usual.

"Each day is new and holds for me something exciting and precious. I love that about life, but I just don't share all my treasures with strangers!" she would patiently say.

"Why can't you stay the same. You are always changing," his voice slow with intensity.

At this time she would roll her eyes and hope his cell phone would break up their miserable conversation. It was not lost on her that he from a fast paced life in NY would say in every conversation about change. In fact she hated the word change. To her change meant houses and cornfields where taken out to make room for the monster highway. To her change meant big biz coming in to take out little family shops. He missed the mark anyway. She didn't change rather she grew everyday.

Growth is very important to her. Each day is a mystery with something for her to unwrap and enjoy. She was not into changing herself. That was of the days of her youth when she did not know any better. Today it is about moving from strength to strength. She loves to ask questions because she thirsts for knowledge. She likes to learn and discover new stuff. Life is never dull and God is never silent like some people say. So for a midwest girl life is full indeed. She needs no NY lights. She is content.

And if you want to know her, don't be a stranger.

robbing God...

"Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me."
"But you ask, 'How do we rob you?'
"In tithes and offerings... Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of Heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

"You have said harsh things against me," says the Lord Almighty.
"Yet you ask, 'What have we said against you?'
"You have said, 'It is futile to serve God.'..... Malachi 3:6-18

I am guilty of robbing God and I have tested the Lord Almighty's Attributes. I have given and found He does bless. I have had tears and found He holds me close. I have been troubled and He has given me His Peace. I have been angry and He listens yet He gives me His Cooling Wisdom. I have had loss and He restores my heart to love again. Whatever I lack, I invite Him to come. I will be still and await as He unveils His Mysteries to me.
cure for doubt = taste

'monster unbelief'

Spurgeon's Morning & Evening Devotions
Morning, August 10

"How long will it be ere they believe me?"- Numbers 14:11
Strive with all diligence to keep out that monster unbelief. It so dishonours Christ, that He will withdraw His visible presence if we insult Him by indulging it. - Charles Spurgeon

belief :::::: taste!

Spurgeon: perfected

Depth of The Wedding...

Reading The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks gives you a man's look at how he loses himself in his work and takes his focus off his bride. It shows the reader how much a woman is like a flower needing a gardener's touch. Entering into a relationship with a woman and actually communing together, a man is fed from the beauty of his bride.

'This week, I hadn't been focusing on my problems and doing my best to correct them. This week, I'd been thinking of her; I'd committed myself to helping her with family responsibilities, I'd listen with interest whenever she spoke, and everything we discussed seemed new. I'd laughed at her jokes and held her as she'd cried, apologized for my faults and showed her the affection she both needed and deserved. In other words, I'd been the man she'd always wanted, the man I once had been, and - like an old habit rediscovered - I now understood that it was all I ever needed to do for us to begin to enjoy each other's company again.' ch 12

In the book the main character gets his in-law's house ready for the wedding. A conversation from the next-door neighbor is talking about the transformation of the house.

"Yeah, I'll tell you - it's been a shame watching what's become of it (house) over the last few years. All it ever needed was for someone to care for it again." He put his spectacles back on, smilingly softly. "It's funny, but have you ever noticed that the more special something is, the more people seem to take it for granted? It's like they think it won't ever change. Just like this house here. All it ever needed was a little attention, and it would have never have ended up like this in the first place. "ch 13

Yikes! Interesting how the author uses the house as a metaphor for what the leading man has done to his marriage.

Everytime I go by a run down house, I will be taking stock of my relationships. All we need is togetherness and worth. I want the intimate depth.

the high of hello...

I will be very honest about myself. Melancholy runs deep in the veins of my heart. I have been put down by others for it. They always had advice. I found it a personal journey and discovery so their advice had no real benefit for me but to throw it aside.

Shyness is my personality and putting that with melancholy can make it more of a struggle to succeed. I embraced my shyness after failing miserably at being outgoing! However, I do not want to have melancholy to rule my life. So I found a small little trick that works for me both at engaging others and uplifting my heart.

HI! or hello! are powerful-punch-packing words! I have opened up conversations with others and have found out wonderful little things about people. And I have brought smiles to their faces and to mine. Sometimes there are no conversations just this little ritual of sunshine that over time have lead to a sparkling conversation of weather or creation or to a budding friendship.

The power of hello has lead this shy melancholy girl to a more sunny listener. Not being a morning person, she gets a powerful 'hi' from this trick than from a huge dose of caffiene. This girl has found she can hold her own and even has a kind hearted bit of wit. love it!

the music of rain...

After many long hot days of humidy and steam, a rainy day is such a beautiful gift to the hungry soul. From the Ardente Crescendo of the pounding drops to the twinkling Dolce Ballad, the heart and soul is cleansed. The mind cools and the focus comes back to you. Even your body finds a more relaxed pace.

The rhythms drum a hearty beat in your ear. The raindrops dance and pounce in their little puddles they playfully make. Your eyes take it in and a smile shines out from your face. This is the music of your day whether you choose to read, meditate, clean, write, paint, cook, bake, or even catch up on some naps.

Thank You Almighty Creator for such a wonderful rainy day. I am blessed and refreashed. Thank you for romancing me.

power of people...

Crossville, TN:
This city has a big meth problem which leaves meth babies without parents capable to take care of them. The only option it seems was to put these babies in the jail house until they could be foster out. Instead the people of Crossville came together took a house and transformed it into a home for these small children to live.

Everyone helps. From the Girls Scouts building bookcases to the local theater group paint beautiful murals on the wall, a community is building back their future WITHOUT the help of goverment money. This is all done from the people's heart, sweat, tears, and pocket.
brilliant

what do you hear in a voice?

There is a study explaining why men do not listen to woman. A woman's voice is more intricate and melodic. While a man uses the basic hearing part of his brain to listen to a male, he has to use the music part of his brain to dicpher what a woman is saying. A woman already uses her music part of her brain to listen.

I happened to mention this in the workplace to get other views. It was an 'o yeah' moment for a guy who loves music. He likes women voices. He has guy friends that are not really into music and these friends of his express a hard time with listening to girls. This was an interesting notion for him.

I favor the male voice. I like the deepness in their voices when they talk and when they laugh. I much rather be cooed by a musical male voice than by a woman. I do not tolerate those high pitched voices. Maybe I like the simplicity of the male voice. It has a more calming effect than the exciteability of the female voice. Yes, a very interesting discovery for my thoughts.

What beauty is in the human voice. What an Awesome Creator to put such unique details in His precious creations.

move to what you can control...

At moments of great loss you find yourself at a crossroads. You can shrink into less or become more . You fall into bitterness or you can get better . All things are stripped bare and you must deal with your naked form. Your choice..... WAIT! WHAT?!?

When I lost my job and I was in great despair. Here is where I grappled with control . The word control has always left a bad taste in my mouth, but at your lowest no control means no hope. How was I going to be more if I didn't have some control?

I strongly believe that humans must have a degree of control in their lives or it will run amuck. Yet, I wanted to make sure that I fully trusted God in His Control of my journey. So I made a list of things that I truly could control without a mess of things.

Here is my humble list:

list my gratitudes

make affirmations

appreciate what you have

be full * be hungry * be content

delight & savor in God-Created beauty

declare His Attributes

claim victory

Really doesn't sound like much control. But by moving to what I can control, I found intimate joy. My heart & soul felt true strength. All things felt possible. All things are possible when you draw near to the Almighty One.

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength. Neh 8:10

Where, oh, where is Poppet's Place?

I loved going to the Hollow. My map is gone. Sadness fills me. The adventures of Rumpledoodles and Poppet (Husband, too!) made me smile. I was so enjoying getting to know them. It is like going to our secret hide out only to find that they up and left with on trace. Missing you. Please come back!!! Prettttttty Plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?

more on strategy observations....

Men seem to be made to have this strategic mind. They are warriors building battle plans to conquer their world at hand. They must provide security and shelter at home.

Women are not built to control and manipulate people or situations. If they do they are called bad names. Women are at their best when they draw their loved ones near in a nurturing way. It feels good to be around a woman who is at rest with who they are. All is good around them.

Watching these observations, you have to be mindful of the 'God-Current'. He works things out for Good. His plans are soooo beyond ours. So whether you are a man or a woman your best strategy is to draw near to Him.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
As I was trying so hard to be a goooooood girl and really clean that bathroom of mine, I was thinking I really have to use stradegy to trick myself into sticking with the program of a nice beautiful loo! Yeah, so there is a way to use the evil side of stradegy to accomplish a sparkling bathroom!!!! yikes!!!!

strategy...

As I have roamed the adult world, I have often felt on the losing end of some game. People played games and I didn't know the rules. What seems to work well for others would backfire in my face. I had come to a point that I just was not a player, but something about being played haunted me. Maybe that is why reality shows intrigue me. If I could see how people played the game, I would figure out how not to be duped. I have some observations but this is a continual education. Let me state that I am not trying to learn how to be a player but rather just getting a grip on understanding how to live the best me with no games but not being played either.

Playing card or board games help you with the logical part of your brain. I lacked this in my childhood so I am making up for it now by playing gin and dominoes online. I play against a stronger player and I am always trying to figure out a strategy. I often wonder how the strategies you use in these games relate to playing the 'game of life'.

I have asked my favorite Dino to help me. Sir Thoughtful Thesaurus has suggested these meanings:

strategy≈

plan, policy,approach, tactic, line of attack, stratagem

- stratagem, trick, ruse, play, wile, dodge, scheme, plot

- wile, scam, hoax, deception

+ approach, method, move toward, come near, draw near, advance

As I was looking at this list, I noticed two sides to this word. There is a back stabing darkness to playing the game. Yet, I see words that I like.

The approach speaks to HOW we conduct our actions and HOW we live our lives. We can 'open the door' and let Him in our hearts. Drawing near to Him and knowing I cannot do this wonderful life on my own, allows me to approach life with the gifts, dreams, and passions that were tucked in my little heart when I was created. So whatever my life journey deals to me, I know my Warrior God has gone before me. He knows what lies ahead of me. He then walks with me through the journey. (Duet 31:8) He beams when I come near Him. There is delight in His eyes, quiet assurance in His love, and pure voice in His singing over me. (Zeph 3:17)

drawing near is my best strategy ... not scared anymore!

Mizpah....

I found a new word to enjoy. Mizpah (hebrew?) means watchtower. "may the Lord keep watch over you and me...." (Gen 31:49).
hesed

the Eternal two...

"Do you realize there are only two eternal things on earth today? Only two: people and God’s Word. Everything else will ultimately be burned up – everything else. Kind of sets your priorities straight, doesn’t it?" by Charles Swindoll

The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. - 1 John 2:1
Heaven & earth will pass away, but My Words will never pass away. - Luke 21:33

thought one...
Amazing that the Almighty Creator is willing to let His Earthly Creation that He spoke into being come to ruin. With that comes a God who is ultimately trust worthy. I find His Words a comfort ... and a peace.....

thought two...
The one thing I have a fire in the belly is teamwork & togetherness. God so made us relational. He made man but then made woman because man shouldn't be alone. This picture of a man & a woman together (marriage) is the same picture of the kind of relationship we should have with God. He choose to have a marriage relationship with us..... now isn't that a wow!!!! Marriage is sooo sacred.... and yet how do we care for it?

must love dogs....

I saw this cute little romantic movie over the weekend. Love John Cusak but I would rate the movie about a seven. I always like finding a gem within ... found one here.

The movie is about finding real love after divorce. The leading man has a theory ... goes like this "from pain our hearts grow back bigger." I squirmed in my seat which is better than standing up and yelling 'yes yes' in the dark theater!!!

a real life experience outside of the movie:
He had been divorced sometime. She did not know this guy before his marriage or during or right after. But she did know that he could not have been the same person that he is today that he was back in his late teens. She then looked at her own path. Just now she was beginning to feel comfortable with her skin and her brain. She longed to be married but that was not an option for her. Today she is glad because she is different person .... well a much better fuller woman.

Going back to his path she probably would have liked him back when but probably not a deeper like that she has from knowing him now. There is still something hollow in him. No words can describe it ... just a feeling.

His journey took him through character degradation. He made his excape to better provide for his own. Her journey took her through loneliness. She has been fighting for 'teamwork' ever since. Two different journeys of pain, but one good thing is birthed .... an Enlarged Heart

Our journeys are designed uniquely for us. Pain is part of the deal. *grrr*

So the movie says it perfect .... His heart grew back bigger

a movie review: batman