for God so loved you ...

Dear Niece,

Guess what my dear? I have begun to read your Twilight books with the last one to go. Oh, there is a lot to chatter about!!

I get it. There is an intrigue. Something that grabs you & holds you. It has got to be the love Bella intensely feels. It is young & dangerous. It is old & wise. It is protective & fierce. It is also very illusive in human form.

I have been on the search of love. Sure, there is no ring on the finger or signatures on a contract but I have found love. It is God-Love. It is Joy. It is peace. It is comfort. It is dangerous. It is wise. It is protective. It is fierce. It is transcendent. It allows you to sing over the storms. It is hearing God singing songs of deliverance over you. It is a mysterious adventure. You must hang on!

Holding the Almighty's Hand allows your heart to overflow with God-Love. This love floats around your family & friends like a cool spring breeze fragrant with new floral scent. This love radiates from your eyes & your smile that strangers & acquaintances are surprisingly happy to catch. This love allows you to love the man of your dreams even when your prince charming is a bit froggy!

I have a book for you! The author has saturated her writings from God's Love Letter, the Bible. "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J Roberts is very intimate & very real. For God so loved you! Grab this & let if overflow your heart.

always,
keeper

Before you freak out about me reading the Twilight books, if I had my way I would not. When your children or the children you love read these books, I think you must. Who better than me? I am an English Teacher at heart and I love getting deep with books. I also get deep with God so I can take this on only through Him.

I am very concerned about her reading these books. There are some things that I am totally shocked that an author of teenage books would put in there when we are trying to teach our teens what is socially correct or dangerous. That is one negative and the other which is no surprise is how the author makes monsters normal and ok. In fact these monsters are really demons, don't you think?

I want to know what she is thinking but I don't want to turn her off. I want to ask innocent questions and really get her to think. I am praying about this. I hope to but she is always busy in sports and rarely comes to family get-togethers.... {heavy sigh}

a day of rejoicing is coming ...

I walked into the hospital room knowing that she was nearing this life's finish line. The cancer was too beastly and too fast. She did open her eyes and spoke in very soft tones. She asked for water and I offer it to her but in the middle of her very slow first sip, her eyes closed like she dozed off. She is in a lot of pain and is on some heavy pain meds. I did hold her hand before the nurse came in to change the clear bags hanging beside her. Her husband encouraged me to talk to her but I found myself falling silent.

The woman in this bed is about 8 years older than me. She is in my childhood memories. I remember her and her sisters baby-sitting me and my brother. They had two cute black and white bull dogs called Moses and Sarah. They lived on a farm and I loved their farm house. I haven't seen her sense. My mom works at the hospital on a floor where a lot of cancer patients go when they are having a major battle with cancer and need hospital care. I happened to call mom about a birthday matter coming up and she said our family friend was back in the hospital and it was not good. I told mom I would come up.

I am sensitive and I try to put my feet in other's shoes. I knew her kids where teenagers and I can help but wonder how these kids were going to cope in the days and years ahead. This beautiful woman has a beautiful husband who talked to me so I began to ask him questions learning more about his family and even finding common bonds like going to the same college. The youngest son was playing football that night. The middle son is marrying and coming home from Chicago this month. The oldest has graduated from college and as a teaching job. She hasn't found love in college and there isn't even a boyfriend. I told her father that it was ok and he said yeah, that you might as well wait until the ONE comes and you just know. I nodded my head in agreement. .... I could now walk out of this room carrying them in my prayers and go to the mats do some major wrestling with the Lord for them.

Earlier in the day I sneaked some time to search for so balm and just happened to read Psalms 8 where it says, where it says 'what is man that you are mindful of him? and where God has made man a little lower than angels and that He gave man dominion over the works of His Hands.' This might be weird that it brought me comfort but I couldn't help but think of all the things God has given us in this life that is like a flower that flourish and passes away. This life is soooooo fragile and the gifts are soooo wonderful. Her gifts? Finding love, marrying a neat guy, having kids .... she probably has a lot more on her list...

A question sent me to wondering ... A mother with early adult children is dying. I am sure she has lots she wants to tell them. Being a daughter myself I cannot dare to go to a time where I don't have my mother to rely on.... I did have a comforting thought... The Word of God has helped me greatly and I am sure for this mother as well. She can rest assured that His Word can guide her children especially because she loved it, they will want to get closer to her by reading It and finding answers needed in today's questions and tests. I love this thought and can let out a comforted sigh...

I told mom that her hubby really loved her and you want to know how I could tell in a short amount of time? He said that finding the love of his life was the best gift Grace College have him. He also asked to hold her hand and said thank you even though it looked like she was sleeping. He has been trying hard to get her home so they can have a bedside wedding of their son today because they are unsure of how long she will be able to hold on and the wedding is schedule at the end of the month. Besides she just wants to go home to die. I don't know how this man is holding on. He did not show any tears but there was a softness around his edges and I am sure that he is putting on his strong face.

I cannot say that she lost her battle with cancer rather she is just finishing this earthy race. She is laying down this earthly mantel to put on her heavenly one called Eternal Life. She is trading in the pain and limitations to walk upright into her Heavenly Father Arms. Her own mother and father are waiting in the wings ready to welcome her home. She will truly understand that death has lost its sting where her loved ones just don't quite understand because it is so raw and painful now. All we can do is 'walk by faith not by sight.' A chorus came to my mind as I was walking and doing some heavy thinking. It brought Joy ... even in this bittersweet time. '... when we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory!'


♩♬♪♫
Sing the wondrous love of Jesus,
Sing His mercy and His grace.
In the mansions bright and blessèd
He’ll prepare for us a place.

Refrain

When we all get to Heaven,
What a day of rejoicing that will be!
When we all see Jesus,
We’ll sing and shout the victory!

While we walk the pilgrim pathway,
Clouds will overspread the sky;
But when traveling days are over,
Not a shadow, not a sigh.

Refrain

Let us then be true and faithful,
Trusting, serving every day;
Just one glimpse of Him in glory
Will the toils of life repay.

Refrain

Onward to the prize before us!
Soon His beauty we’ll behold;
Soon the pearly gates will open;
We shall tread the streets of gold.

Refrain♪

Words: Eliza E. Hewitt

a new church ...

If you have been reading here, you might have noticed that I have been quite unhappy with the church the family has been going too. I am happy to say that we have been checking into a local Baptist church for about a month now and last Sunday my parents said good bye to the Sunday School class my Dad has been teaching at the old place.

You can't believe how much happier we all are ... all because God's Word is preached from the pulpit!

I personally have not been satisfied with the old place for a very long time. I felt that the pastor was a false prophet and only used God's Word for his own message. I mistrust this man when he came and felt I had more knowledge of the Word than he did. It didn't help that he was about 2 years older than me. He has mistreated my little brother and my father and you just don't do that to my boys. I know my Dad really cared about the pastor like Paul for Timothy. I don't know how much damage this man did to my Dad but I think I already see the burden has vanished from my Dad's shoulders. I just feel that the time has come to brush off the sand from your sandals and get on without looking back.

I have fallen hard for nothing but the Word of God. I have got to keep from wasting any time on stuff that is not a Sure Foundation. I am shouting for Joy that I am back in a conservative Baptist church. I will continue to feast on BBNRadio.org for great food but now I can get fed on Sundays too!

Matthew 13:45-46
“Again, the kingdom of heaven
is like a merchant looking for fine pearls.
When he found one of great value,
he went away and sold everything he had
and bought it."

good fig exiled in Babylon ...

I have a story from the Old Testament that I must tell you as it has given me great hope for my own plight. This story begins with a dream. A dream given to Jeremiah by the Almighty to give hope, encouragement, and an assignment to the exiles in Babylon. Two baskets of figs placed in front of the temple of the Lord where shown to Jeremiah. One basket had verrrrrry gooooood figs, like those ripen early; the other basket had very bad figs, so bad they could not be eaten. Then God asked Jeremiah what he saw. It was God wanted the vision spoken aloud. Then the Lord explained the dream.

"Like these good figs, I regard as the good the exiles from Judah, whom I sent away from this place to the land of the Babylonians. My Eye will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the Lord. They will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with all their heart.

But like the bad figs, which are so bad they cannot be eaten so will I deal with Zedekiah king of Judah, his officials and the survivors from Jerusalem, whether they remain in this land or live in Egypt. I will make them abhorrent and an offense to all the kingdoms of the earth, a reproach and a byword, an object of ridicule and cursing, wherever I banish them. I will send the sword, famine, and plague against them until they are destroyed from the land I gave them and their fathers."

Then God had Jeremiah write out His letter for the surviving elders, priests, and prophets among the exiles in Babylon to read to them. Before the letter is read there is a listing of who the exiles where. What came to my eyes? The craftsmen and artisans. Now these are my kind of people. I then knew this story was for me. I must get back to what was in the letter...

To My exiles in Babylon,
Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.

Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying lies to you in My Name. I have not sent them.

When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill My Gracious Promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places I have banished you and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.

always your Heavenly Father

Wow! All this can be read for yourself in Jeremiah 24:1-10 and Jeremiah 29:1-23. I had to reread several times because I felt this dream was just for me. I am a craftsman and artisan. I find great joy spending time painting, looming, crocheting, cross stitching, ink stamping and paper punching. I find even more fulfillment if I can use what I do with my hands to encourage another. But I am EXILED, exiled in Babylon. I am working in cost accounting for a boss who has fits of huffing. I did not want this job but this job is of God. I am not left abandoned. I have instructions to carry out. I am to build, settle down (not complain), plant, eat from the produce, increase not decrease (increase the joy not the grief), seek peace and prosperity of the company so that I too will prosper, and close my ears to anyone who says things that are not of God (other dissenters and ill seekers). In due time my Heavenly Father will bring me back home where I live out my passion in fullness.

What is interesting is that this story is hidden behind the great verse of Jeremiah 29:11. You just can't have the great verse without the story. It makes the verse deeper and richer and makes the story real because you know it in your life. I vow never to forget this story. I wrote it down here and am trying my hand at a poem. I am going to tell this story to anyone and everyone who will hear....

a little one on the way ...

...rrrrrring.....rrrrrrrring.....rrrrrrring....

me: "Hello?"

3yo niece: "Mommy has a baby in her tummy."

Mom comes on after the little niece got tired of talking. She told me that the little niece came in the door telling her that Mommy has a baby in her tummy and Mom says "is she serious?" Niece's mom had a huge grin on her face. My mom has been waiting for this to happen for a while now. Mom is hoping for a boy to round out the little family. I don't know .... wondering if it will be a girl ... but then again a boy would carry on our name.

Mom said that before my little bro and his wife dropped off the niece that they went to their first doctor's appointment and that the niece got to hear the heart beat!! She said the baby is due March the 16th. I informed Mom that they have known for a month and half. She was a bit surprised that the little bro could keep a secret so long.

Mom called me on my google voice and did I even think to record it so that I could share my niece here for you? Nope. I shall she her on Sunday so I just might have to record her talking about the baby. I have a few ideas to keep this memento.... check back!

Charlie St. Cloud

This movie rates up as a 10 for me! The sky scapes and water scenes took my breath away. Then the topper was the story. This movie will complete my personal trilogy. See, I am a keeper, a keeper of things that are important to me. I hold on and probably to long. I never have wanted to be one who didn't say everything to someone I loved. No regrets! I think this need to hold on comes from a childhood where I never had that storybook friend like in 'Anne of Green Gables'.

'It's a Wonderful Life' begins my trilogy. It gave me value when I felt like a very small worthless college freshman. 'Remember Me' comes next with its gritty and violent portrayal of how we mess up after the lost of losing someone and forget to love and live. 'Charlie St. Cloud' is a beautiful story rounding out my personal trilogy with Charlie finding out that he has a reason to live his life without his foot in death. There is a twist so I would love to see it again for that second time and hey, how about a third time for just the viewing pleasure!

I started to read the book but saw the movie before I finished. I waited to write a review until the last pages where read. The book started out with beautiful flowing language. Even though there where God references throughout the book, God's Name was taken in vain so much so that I lost respect of the book. The movie did stray from the book but it condensed it right down to its very essence like taking one bite of just right richness of dark chocolate with a good balance of sweetness that it you were satisfied. The movie rocked and the book flopped!

In the book Charlie is 28 and Tess is somewhere around 25. The story begins with Charlie at 15 (yes, driving illegally) and Sam, his little brother is 3 years younger. In the movie Charlie is 17 at graduation and after the accident that summer you see Charlie five years later. The author didn't picture Zac Efron doing the movie partly because he thought the character as older. The author did get to meet Zac and changed his mind. I think Zac is a great choice. This is my first time seeing Zac in a movie. He did a superb job with pulling off the manly gentleness of this character which is a huge draw for me.

A silent but loud character that really took the movie was the sky and sea scapes. The sunsets where golden and breathless and the ocean bi-polar tendencies of smooth and wild just took my 'eyes' away! I am sooo visual that it made me so satisfied and hungry to see it again and again!

author thoughts:
I have this theory that a movie should follow the book. I totally flipped out over The Last Song (part 2 of 'The Last Song'). The book was sooooo good and deep and the movie messed it up. However, this time I favored the movie. I just don't get it. I am an author-wannabe and I see writing as birthing. A good author picks just the right words, the perfect scenes, and quality characters. So why would you be ok with a director taking liberties with your baby? I also see my story like a director with a movie. So why would a screen writer have to change it for the movie? I suppose I will battle this thought a lifetime!

fyi:
This is a good chick flick. Not sure what the guys would make of it.

There is sex before marriage. Yes, you can still design a movie without it even this one. Especially if you are talented.

the glut of birthday parties ...

Ok, be patient with me. It is a personal musing and wonderment about birthday parties...

I had an alone childhood where books and my bike kept me company. I have a picture of a birthday party of mine where I sat with a neighbor boy smiling with my birthday cake made by my grandmother. I think that is the only birthday party that I had where someone outside my family was there. There was no grand hoopla at my 16th even though I stupidly wished for some grand jester. As an adult I do not expect huge tidings of birthday wishes granted from friends or even the outside world. Sometimes it is even hard to get a small gesture from the bros but mama knows she must celebrate with me or I am devastated. So I do know the power of a birthday and the value it gives you when someone goes out of their way to grant birthday wishes.

I am noticing that a great deal put into birthday parties for the young these days. The internet is laced with oodles of themed birthday parties. Gone is the simple gathering of cake and ice cream and in is the grandiose themes. I am visual and I must admit that I visit daily a wedding and party blog to enjoy the many different ideas that help me be creative in my own life. It is fun and mystical. I feel that party feeds our need for adventure and celebration and creating but I think birthday parties in particular should not be sooo grand. I could be all wet, too.

I went to my nieces 3rd birthday and her parents invited over all her friends (aka kids). There where lots of presents and when the presents were opened it was like watching vultures waiting to feed on the overkill. Yes, I made my gifts and even dolled up the bag. I suppose that fed into my disgust of where the focus was. These kids weren't die hard friends. The little niece probably won't remember them as life picks up. There was so many gifts and the misbehaving vultures ... it was all toooo much. But all the young parents these days are doing these big parties and argh, I am glad that I am not a parent.

I love parties. However, for my kids I would want a more personal more family oriented birthday party. If I was to throw a kid party, I would have a summer party where no one kid got a ton of gifts over another. That way I could make sure each kid had fun and my child won't be getting all these 'toys' that they really don't need. Plus, where do you put all these gifts????

I know I am more of an introvert and covet one on one time with those I love. Big parties and tons of people make a wallflower out of me but I love the detail and fun and the hugeness of it. I love planning parties and I love attending but give me a personal birthday party any day! Shouldn't birthday parties be more cozy and personal?