tease me again ...

I find it hard to wake up on a Saturday and go into work but is especially hard to find waiting in my work's email inbox a message about the ever popular CFO finding out a massive tumor at the base of his neck effecting the left side of his body.  Dread evaded my heart.  The air got real thin.  He was fine just the day before.  He is very personable and finds away to tease every individual working for him in such a way that you feel important and noticed.

What do you do?

I printed out the email requesting for prayer and started to jot down requests and hopes to ask my Heavenly Father.  It helps me keep my mind focused and not sunk down in fear and frozen....

• Salvation – always God's Will

• healing here

• eyes to see the Great I AM & His Mighty Works

• journey welll this assignment

• heavily lean into Him / TRUST Him / mind stayed on Him

• run well – finish well

• Resurection Day –

Hope built on nothing less than Jesus's Blood & Righteousness

I was listening to a suffering saint a couple of weeks ago and instead of refering to Job as a source of comfort, he brought to light John 11.  Now I too seek out the eleventh chapter of John.  

v3  "Lord, the one You love is sick."

v4  When He heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will NOT end in death.  No , it is for God's Glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it."

v40  Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the Glory of God?"

Come Monday when everyone finds the company wide email, I'm sure the mood will have a heavy somber to it.   Yet as long as he pestering the nurses, we back at the company will feel much better but longing to have him back teasing us all again...

Contained ...

Lucy Swindoll asked her brother this question.  I saw it and thought it was an interesting question.  Of course, I love questions and I love to ask them and mostly like to hear the response.  So, I ask you - What is your favorite feeling and why?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think my favorite feeling would be 'contained'.  Maybe better words would be 'at rest', 'peaceful', 'calm', 'safe'...  I like crawling under the heavy covers and pulling them up tight to my chin or nose and turning down the dimmed lights to darkness.  I imagine God's Arm over me and everything else is shut down.  No more worries.  I can't stand drama.  It doesn't need to be that hard.  I deal with a boss that makes things bigger than they are.  I shake my head (when she isn't looking) and send a prayer.  I have a little brother that is a huge worry wort and gets dramatic about things.  I keep thinking that I have 10 years on him and maybe he will mellow out or not!  I do have those feelings of angst in me but I try to keep the outer layer calm.  I do go quiet when there is turmoil about or if I am in pain.  Keeping contained or calm is my coping mechanism.  Don't get me wrong, I am very passionate and I have some majorly strong feelings and they do walk about aloud.  I do have my moments that I am out of control.  I do think that they are less as I have grown up. {wink wink} But like we have uncovered I am still very much a girl with brainy moments.  I am a quiet person and I believe in being a good neighbor.  I have been an apartment dweller in a building of 8 where it was more like communal living.  I lived in someone's else cigarette smoke and violent rampages.  Yelling makes me shut down.  All this is what I call 'living outside your box'.  I believe the only thing you should do outside the box is creative thinking!  Yes, my favorite feeling is 'contained'.  

Welcome Riley Jane

By the light of the oil lamp Jessica nursed baby Shalom.  The flickering flames streaked her hair in light and dark.  It cast shadows across her profile as she smiled tenderly down at him, and illuminated her bare shoulder and the top of his downy head.  She saw me watching and smiled.  "You never know," she said.
"What?"
"How much God loves you until you have one of these of your own.  Then you begin to understand."
~a conversation between two sisters, Jessica and Loralei in Brock and Bodie Thorne's book "The Gathering Storm."

I have been praying for a young mother and for the little girl that made her arrive afternoon today this very thing.  Baby Riley has made safe passage into this world and I am praying that her young mother and young father would be sooooo moved to be overwhelmed by the miracle of life and to seek out the Author of Life.

I received the welcomed news from baby Riley's grandfather.  I could just picture this 6'4" man holding this tiny bundle of 7lbs 12oz much like my own father and grandfather held the baby me so long ago.  There is a sense of time stopping and the an awe of something precious that tugs at the heart making everything still.  

"I was holding her most of the evening.  Riley fell asleep on my chest for a couple of hours."


oh!!!!!!!!!!

keep the faith ...

Our new church of a year has celebrated its 175th birthday yesterday.  Hearing all the cool history was great and seeing it was cool.  This was back before Abraham Lincoln was known.  There was a 200 year old Bible from one of the members that was written in Old English.  WOW!!  As I was taking it all in a whisper kept calling me so much so that I had to tell it here.

~~~ Huge photos of yesteryear blown up huge on either side of me on walls.  The eyes are drawing me in and I am trying to hear what they are trying to say to me. Can you hear what they are saying?  Could it be the same thing the early church said and echos through the channels of history?
"Keep the faaaaaaith....  Keeeeep the faaaaaaith ..... keeeeeep the faith..... KEEP THE FAITH! Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap a harvest if we faint not. " Galatians 6:9 ~~~

I know a bit "Dead Poet's Society" but that was what I was hearing inside my head.  Matthew 24 has been on my mind lately.  All around me I see the Love growing cold and it makes me shiver inside.  I don't know how are young are going to survive!

Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold,  but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.  Matthew 24:12&13


What a tall order in these days but I must keep the faith.  I must keep the love.  I must keep the gratitude.  I want that crown of JOY.  I want those behind me to see His Path.... and want His Love for themselves....

Infectious . . .

I was NOT going to go Royal Wedding crazy. I have a bad taste about what we all did to Lady Diana. Plus, I didn't get to watch Diana's wedding because I had to go to school. I did to go to England for a school band trip and got to see some Royal sites like the castles and changing of the guard etc. So seeing the sites that I got to see up close and personal all dressed up would be the best part for me or so I thought.

Dad and I have indulged Mom with her giddy excitement but I was not going to cave. I had to work - overtime to boot. Tv would have endless clips. I went to bed and surfaced a bit before 4AM. So I thought why not check the world clock converter and the schedule. Then i snoozed till five. I think I subconsciously knew how I would react and yet was a bit surprised.

As I have gotten older, I have tear ducts that overrun at any that moves me. So what made me tear up? No, it wasn't over Kate's dress but over the boys! They are young men yet with boyish charm in their rudy cheeks. All dressed in their military uniforms they were touchable and human. So why the uncontrolled tears? There is this verse in Proverbs 30 that always intrigues me. "There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: ... the way a man is with a young woman." (verses 18-19) This is my reason for tears. Here is a young man who chose a woman to be his wife and there is no disappearing. It is something to see them together. They are so at ease with each other.

Sure I loved Kate's dress but Pip's dress is what I would want to wear. I loved the trees inside the church. It reminded me of the broken castle in the movie Everafter. I loved Harry's look back at the bride as his brother would not look at her dress until she stood by him. I loved her 'wow' when coming out to the balcony and her giggle after their second kiss. I totally love the ascot car they used to go to their reception. What I loved most was the actual message in the ceremony. It spoke of the true meaning behind marriage if only ears would actually hear.

As I went about my day, certain observations came like how smooth Kate seem to be. I heard someone describe her as a swan gliding on smooth water. I like that picture. It made me desire to have that confident stillness.

The other thing that amazed me that in this modern age I did not have to get out of bed to switch on the tv. I could stay in bed watch it on my iPod. They have an app for that.

Well, it has been a long day and my emotions have bottomed out. I hope that sleep comes and come soundly. So much for NOT going Royal Wedding crazy.

a day of rejoicing is coming ...

I walked into the hospital room knowing that she was nearing this life's finish line. The cancer was too beastly and too fast. She did open her eyes and spoke in very soft tones. She asked for water and I offer it to her but in the middle of her very slow first sip, her eyes closed like she dozed off. She is in a lot of pain and is on some heavy pain meds. I did hold her hand before the nurse came in to change the clear bags hanging beside her. Her husband encouraged me to talk to her but I found myself falling silent.

The woman in this bed is about 8 years older than me. She is in my childhood memories. I remember her and her sisters baby-sitting me and my brother. They had two cute black and white bull dogs called Moses and Sarah. They lived on a farm and I loved their farm house. I haven't seen her sense. My mom works at the hospital on a floor where a lot of cancer patients go when they are having a major battle with cancer and need hospital care. I happened to call mom about a birthday matter coming up and she said our family friend was back in the hospital and it was not good. I told mom I would come up.

I am sensitive and I try to put my feet in other's shoes. I knew her kids where teenagers and I can help but wonder how these kids were going to cope in the days and years ahead. This beautiful woman has a beautiful husband who talked to me so I began to ask him questions learning more about his family and even finding common bonds like going to the same college. The youngest son was playing football that night. The middle son is marrying and coming home from Chicago this month. The oldest has graduated from college and as a teaching job. She hasn't found love in college and there isn't even a boyfriend. I told her father that it was ok and he said yeah, that you might as well wait until the ONE comes and you just know. I nodded my head in agreement. .... I could now walk out of this room carrying them in my prayers and go to the mats do some major wrestling with the Lord for them.

Earlier in the day I sneaked some time to search for so balm and just happened to read Psalms 8 where it says, where it says 'what is man that you are mindful of him? and where God has made man a little lower than angels and that He gave man dominion over the works of His Hands.' This might be weird that it brought me comfort but I couldn't help but think of all the things God has given us in this life that is like a flower that flourish and passes away. This life is soooooo fragile and the gifts are soooo wonderful. Her gifts? Finding love, marrying a neat guy, having kids .... she probably has a lot more on her list...

A question sent me to wondering ... A mother with early adult children is dying. I am sure she has lots she wants to tell them. Being a daughter myself I cannot dare to go to a time where I don't have my mother to rely on.... I did have a comforting thought... The Word of God has helped me greatly and I am sure for this mother as well. She can rest assured that His Word can guide her children especially because she loved it, they will want to get closer to her by reading It and finding answers needed in today's questions and tests. I love this thought and can let out a comforted sigh...

I told mom that her hubby really loved her and you want to know how I could tell in a short amount of time? He said that finding the love of his life was the best gift Grace College have him. He also asked to hold her hand and said thank you even though it looked like she was sleeping. He has been trying hard to get her home so they can have a bedside wedding of their son today because they are unsure of how long she will be able to hold on and the wedding is schedule at the end of the month. Besides she just wants to go home to die. I don't know how this man is holding on. He did not show any tears but there was a softness around his edges and I am sure that he is putting on his strong face.

I cannot say that she lost her battle with cancer rather she is just finishing this earthy race. She is laying down this earthly mantel to put on her heavenly one called Eternal Life. She is trading in the pain and limitations to walk upright into her Heavenly Father Arms. Her own mother and father are waiting in the wings ready to welcome her home. She will truly understand that death has lost its sting where her loved ones just don't quite understand because it is so raw and painful now. All we can do is 'walk by faith not by sight.' A chorus came to my mind as I was walking and doing some heavy thinking. It brought Joy ... even in this bittersweet time. '... when we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory!'


♩♬♪♫
Sing the wondrous love of Jesus,
Sing His mercy and His grace.
In the mansions bright and blessèd
He’ll prepare for us a place.

Refrain

When we all get to Heaven,
What a day of rejoicing that will be!
When we all see Jesus,
We’ll sing and shout the victory!

While we walk the pilgrim pathway,
Clouds will overspread the sky;
But when traveling days are over,
Not a shadow, not a sigh.

Refrain

Let us then be true and faithful,
Trusting, serving every day;
Just one glimpse of Him in glory
Will the toils of life repay.

Refrain

Onward to the prize before us!
Soon His beauty we’ll behold;
Soon the pearly gates will open;
We shall tread the streets of gold.

Refrain♪

Words: Eliza E. Hewitt

helpmate for the girl?

I am standing before my beautiful creamy light soft yellow brand new low end refrigerator and I am pleased with the clean, new, and tobacco free smell. I can live with the freezer being slightly smaller! Bummer. I had secretly hoped for a bigger freezer as it is a great friend for the single girl living on her own and it is more economical but I will live happily with it.

However, there is a slight problem. If you were here, I would have you go open my brand new frig. I am almost positive that you would open it just the way I did because of the kitchen set up. It is a natural subconscious thought to open the frig according to way the kitchen is set up. Well, I went to open the frig and I couldn’t. I first thought I did not have strength because of the newness and the seal is strong. No, the door was switched making it so that I have to open the opposite side. Now this would be perfect for the apartment across the hall as that lay out would be opposite of mine. Sorry, but the frig needs to open up so that one has access to oven and sink. It is not conducive to easy prep and cooking. It is not time to hide the food from the cook or make for weight loss routine!

I am a put-together type of person. I am not afraid of do-it-yourself projects like the bookcases and shelving that you get at the store. I even do it for my Mom who has Dad who could do it for her but I volunteer because actually I love to put things together. It is an accomplishment! So here I am standing before this beautiful simple frig thinking that I just might be able to switch these doors on my own even with me being a lightweight gal. I know I could do it but there are some hinges that look a bit involved and I would have to get or borrow some tools. And there is the lifting the door and holding it together while taking it apart and putting it together. I just might need some help. They left the manuel and I have been scouring over the instructions. I want to change it on my own. I don’t want to ask some male to fix it for me. Plus, why didn’t the guys think about this before putting it together????? Both the old frig and the temp open correctly so why didn’t they think of these things? And why do you get a lot of grump and fuss and wait time when you ask guys to help you get it right?

I am pretty sure Dad would say to make them come do it right. I hate doing it even if I use a lot of gratitude and pretty tone. I feel bad. I feel in the wrong for asking for one more thing. I sure don’t want to be the nag but why does it seem that the males make us nags and then bust our chops over it?

What I am really getting at is that God has made the woman to be the helpmate to the man not the man as the helpmate to woman. I am a girl and I do understand the qualities of a good helpmate because I feel it deep inside and I have a great desire to be a good helpmate. However, I feel I need a helpmate at times. Sure guys are to be the protecter and provider but they lack that go-to wing’wo’man that they need. I guess a helpmate for a woman would be another woman or hand maiden but I need some brawn and brute strength! Maybe I need to switch to ‘guy-speak’. Hey, you could provide some ease in the kitchen if you would switch the door on the frig? You would protect me from the grumps too!

Oh well, I am off to cook up my favorite summer meal. I like to dice up potatoes and fry them up. (a step, slide, slide w/ frig) While the potatoes are browning, the eggs is are in a hard bubble bath. (a cha cha cha w/ frig) When they are almost ready, I sweat the mushrooms, sweet onions, and garlic. (a twirl around w/ frig) When they are translucent, I sweat down the spinach. OOOOOh so good! Even two stepping with the refrigerator.

I guess I shall be sending them another request on Monday.

“Dear Maintenance Men,
A huge thank you for the new refrigerator! That was a lot of work twice! I love the color and the clean smell. I have another request. May I get the door switched on the frig? It would make it easier to cook. It is opposite of the way it was before. A huge huge thank you.”

hormones ...

I wonder what makes an imbalance of hormones in a woman when she begins her transition from child bearing and rearing to a woman of stature and sage. Is it the years of not taking care of your needs or is it the lack of proper eating and exercise? Is it working some job because it brings home the 'mula' but depletes the soul or is it the sour atmosphere that you keep or tolerate at work or at home? Is it plain and simply s-t-r-e-s-s? We all know what stress does to us so that is why I have been thinking this out..

I wonder if keeping my mind stayed upon Christ the Solid Rock and staying in the Word will keep my hormone levels balanced and keep stress at bay. I will be making this transition soon and have heard the horror stories and have question my own mother. I have become more and more anti-drugs for most things. For example, taking an aspirin for my food HA's only covers up the pain; it does not protect or prevent the blood cells from dying. I am not naive for there is a time for medication and a time for no medication and kicking the stress habit our lifestyle has created as a monster has got to be the key.

I have noticed some stress beaters for myself and the biggest stress reliever is my relationship with God. It has been a long time coming and I have a long way to go. I am a big time feeler and I will always feel but to rightly put them in God's hands by going the Word and laying hold of God's promises. I have got the praying without ceasing down as I rattle about alone at home but often before going to bed, I would cry as I battle out my frustrations. I hated it and myself. The last couple of years I have found solace in God's Word and now it has become an obsession to pray the Word. I don't cry over the frustrations before bed anymore. I am repeating the fear not messages.

This year's theme is allowing myself to be Romanced by God and to find my true beauty. Already I have come to terms with a certain desertion in my life. I have been getting over it only to find myself not over it. I think it is a growing experience and can't be learned at the drop of a heart. Hearts shatter and it takes time for them to heal because there are so many angles and edges to bring back together. God has been so very patient with me and has been very Masterful at gently healing my heart. I have soooooo many learnings that even through a fleshy experience God has worked it for my good and betterment. At this point in time I feel a satisfied heart beating in my chest because I am letting God romance me. I am so tired of being alone and learning everything I can about being a couple that I am finally going to embrace this single life. It was a dual life that began to eat me alive. God has said to choose life and I am making a life decision to choose a JOYFUL life.

So by embracing my relationship with God and embracing my single JOYFUL life, stress is on the run. So I wonder if by keeping a balanced and whole life, will it keep my hormones in balanced and I can enjoy the transition...? I kinda think so...

Fear NOT little one! Fearlessly walk with Me. I will keep you! Always your Heavenly Father and Keeper

LIFE!

After having a very heated argument over pro-life or pro-choice, God has been bring life/death situations and His Word to my attention. Like the a father in England emailing his children in the States about his choosing the assisted suicide in Sweden and having it viewed on the web for all to see. A previous assisted suicide was either a soccer or ruby player also of England who was paralyzed at the neck down and decide it wasn't worth living anymore. Just sad. I have to give a disclaimer here. I am very empathic and what I mean is that I lean in and listen to people's life stories and passions. Then I try on their shoes and walk in their path. So life to me isn't a cheap and easy answer.

A co-worker told me about her husband's fast moving cancer that claimed his life in a matter of 11 months! I couldn't help but have some private and personal questions about how much I would do to save my life if I was facing a cancer monster. Would I go through all the 'treatments' to have it claim my life anyways? Then I felt very conflicted over these suicides..

Then God reminded me of His Blessing for us when we choose life. ''See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in His Ways, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to His Voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and He will give you many years in the land He swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. ~Duet 30:15-20 No it isn't easy but remember God has given us Joni who after a diving accident that broke her neck leaving her paralyzed to this day. It has not been easy yet she choose life! I will have to dig out her book but I do think she thought of ending it all. Not so anymore. Look at the blessing God has poured into her life!

Now if I can harbor this Word in my heart so that it flows out naturally when an old friend calls me, maybe she will see God and see how precious life truly is ....

A little side note that in a way fits here because choosing life is obeying .. I found a recent saying that I wish I had in my growing up years. 'Obedience brings blessing. Disobedience brings punishment.' Do you know that the best way to love God is to obey?

cookin!

I have to give a shout out to Chocolate & Zucchini! I have this passion about how people learn. I love to sit at people's feet and find out what their dreams are. Within those dreams are strengths. Whatever you are strong at is the desire to learn and grow. So go over and check out how a blind man cooks!

how are you? ...

"Why do you ask people how they are doing? Don't you know they will tell you there life story?'' This is the response my mom gets when she asks people how are you doing?

My mom works at the hospital and she is great at making sick people feel comfortable, at getting into elders who tell stories of the past without making them live in the now, and at listening to what ails her co-workers. She is great at getting a laugh

It is frustrating to hear the type of people that work with Mom. She has a huge ministry and yet the thief is always there to takeaway. Dad and I keep encouraging her to keep at her gift and we both are amazed at her spunk and her shouldering the woes that weigh people down.

She found out a co-worker has Crownes disease and allergic to wheat. (Mom didn't know that there is a difference between wheat and glutton - I don't know much but that glutton can be found in a lot of stuff not just wheat.) This poor girl had tears come when she told Mom she could not eat peanut butter. Mom tried to comfort her with that fact that she has to deal with my allergies and how difficult it is but there is help out there - groups to join and find help. It is a huge weight to bare when you find out about an allergy or a disease because you have this label and yes, it is great to know what is wrong but there you are left with no help! That is why people will reach out when they are asked what they are doing! They are drowning in some pain and need a human touch and a life line to keep going...

Here's to my Mom and her special gifts!!!

interferences & winning performances ...

As I watched the American girl beach volleyball game at the Olympics where it was raining hard, I couldn't help but think that if you really want to win this you have to train not just the game rules and basics but you got to go beyond and train in wacky elements like rain.  I also heard that Phelps' coach had messed with his goggles in training to get Phelps to go beyond the safe stuff.  Then in one of his matches, Phelps' goggles began to fill up with water!  Did he let that stop him?  Nope, just another gold metal.  

I came across a formula in the Quiet Leadership book that goes like this: 'performance=potential-interference'.  When I took on this present job that was basically an unknown world to me, I did a lot of leaning into or a better word is striving.  I went for all I was worth trying to learn hard and fast which caused more pain and more frustration.  When I read a verse in Proverbs where God has striving was wrong did I begin to understand interference!  I was causing myself to fall apart and my learning was hindered.  See, I was over compensating as a way to not let interference into my approach.  This was my first learning.

My second learning of interference is that when things begin to mess me up, I need to label it quick as interference and get to training!  If a winner trains in all kinds of elements, then shouldn't I?  Why should I let interferences get in my way?  I use to look at that equation as interferences had no part in performance or in giving your best.  But I could not get away from problems, hurdles, and challenges.  All I could come up with is within a football (American) picture where you have a football guy tackling the other football guy to keep the QB safe.  Like my girl description?  No matter what there will always be interferences.  It is what you do with them that will determine your performance whether it be winning or losing.  

Training for interferences is the first mindset and then removing them to finish up makes for your potential to shine as well as your character.  All that you are left with is a winning performance!  I like that.

dreams ...

Watching the swimming last night was a boost to keep going for my dreams. Dara Torres said 'Don't put an age limit on your dreams.' Then of course you had Michael Phelps who believes anything is possible. Talk about conviction.

So it is time to fuel up and start making some real changes in my life. Start firming up my strengths and start getting into shape instead of wistfully wishing. Maybe in two years, I will look back here and say 'I did it.' 41 is just a marker and nothing more.

Here are a few wishes I want to turn into dreams come true:
* a book preferably published and well received
* a nice two story home with a basement and garage (bike to be welcomed! & herbs too!)
* well organized
* time to be creative in painting on glass and looming

I am not putting a man on that list because I cannot make this wish come true. That is in God's very capable Hands. If He wishes it for me, it is in His command. In the meantime I come into His Courts with thanksgiving and praise.

I do have to acknowledge that my wishes are also in God's hands because He goes before me and will be with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. I will not be afraid. I will not be dismayed. (Deut 31:8) So I will live my life abundantly and use what I have to its fullest. No time to waste.

wiiiiii!!!

I love games and wished for more game time when I was young for mental growth and social interaction. Now that the family is older and more of us, I hoped for game time. Not so much. However, my father bought a Wii a couple of months ago! Can you believe that? (However, we have got to get Dad to play more. Still a bit of a struggle...)

I am not a gamer and never wanted to be sucked into the vacuum world that makes you anti social. Books alone can do that to me when I have gone to another world. I remember back in college in the late 80's early 90's. I didn't like the guys stuck on the games in the lobby. Funny today it seems more out of control. Now I don't mind gamers. I just don't like the anti social feelings associated with them. I already feel out of sorts when it comes to the social scene.

So what makes the Wii different than the other games? It is a social game and it is about moving more than just your thumbs. I love getting my parents to play and all family members can play no matter the age. Memorial Day weekend the four yo nephew was playing with us. Just last Sunday Mom couldn't wait to play tennis that she didn't sneak in a nap before playing. She hated tennis a week ago but finally got the hang of it and wanted to make sure she hadn't forgotten. We've notice the amount of fans along the sidelines watching the tennis matches and Mom isn't happy that I have more fans than her. That is pretty cool of the Wii to make little nuances like that within the games. The better you are in tennis the more fans/Miis you get to watch you! Nifty!

Mom loves bowling and this past Sunday, she hit pro status! So we go and play another game of bowling. She is up to bowl and behind her name is pro. Ok, that is nice. I am watching her bowl and then it my turn. But I couldn't help but wonder about her ball. I asked her if she saw that her ball had stars on it. She said no. It was my turn and we couldn't see her ball any more. So when it was her turn sure enough there were diamonds on her ball. What! She is gets a special ball for being a pro!!!!!!! We were all excited and I just could not help but think that Wii did a real good design job with there game. I can't wait to see what happens in tennis when I hit the pro status. Will I get a special racket? Will I have the statdium rocked out with fans???

Way to go Wii on taking the gaming aspect and making it more social and family friendly!!!

a lot is cast ...

... whether a birthday forgotten by a sibling, or a friend's abandonment with no explanation, or no one seeing a s.o.s, or a blatant walk over by someone who makes you feel like second-class. To let anger arise inside you will only miss place the power. Sure you may feel disappointed especially with loved ones, but God's Power always trumps any lot cast by a mere human. God's Strengh trumps any disregard, mistreatment, and disappointment. Letting God work that darken lot cast into your lap will bring you much good. He is the Bearer of Good Gifts and anything bad He makes it good. He does not waste our pain or tears. So no more allowing the enemy to be a thief. Protect your joy of the Lord. It is your strength.

Proverbs 16:33
The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.

Romans 8:35-39
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

game q&a ...

What do you think about when someone evokes their faith into the game?
The first thing I think of is 'how' you play the game and if you are going to bring your faith into the game, you have to ask yourself a very basic question: Are you using God or are you being used by God? You answer this question in your speech and action.

Can you win the game by evoking your faith?
Tricky question. I think most of the time the answer would be no only because you tend to see the shady players win or the people who are very open about their religion fall very badly in the game. However, I think a believer has a 50/50 chance of winning the game even if it seems like the context of the game is pitting two opposing masters ($$$ vs. God) against each other.

Proverbs 16:11&33
'Honest weights and scales are the Lord's; all the weights in the bag are His work.'
The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.'
So it does not matter who has the power or who is on the outs. It does not even matter who your alliances are or who your enemies are. The decision no matter for the good or bad works out just perfect. You may have problems seeing how it works out at this time and you just might think I am crazy! But we are talking about two different concepts yet one has dominion over the other whether it makes sense or not.

Can you play the game and keep your faith and morals?
This type of game is about relationships. Relationships are about communication. Communication is 7% verbal and 93% behavior. Life is about relationships. In life you keep your faith and morals everyday by walking with God and loving Him by obedience to His Love Letter. The game is no different because just like life the game is about relationships too. It all goes back to the question: Are you using God or are you allowing God to use you?

game {n}

game {n}

Games = a form of play or sport, esp. a competitive one played according to rules and decided by skill, strength, or luck.

I love games. I feel it is a good way for a parent to teach their young a bit about life, relationships, and sportsmanship. It is a way to teach strategy. The strategy part is where one could get into trouble but I am suggesting God-Strategy over strategy for selfish means. Strategy is about the mind and how one can turn things around and see from other angles and proceed forward. The simple games like card or board games or even puzzles help you flex the mind and make it more nimble. {smirks} But this entry isn't about the simple games but rather about the reality games where it is about the complex issues of morals and relationships and your take on 'life' like what is of value to you ...

Let me just put this out there. I have some reality games that I pay attention to but not for sheer entertainment. I having my own battle - I grapple with the issues using God's Word and seeking Him. It is amazing how a situation can prove useful in seeing more clearly a Biblical truth. (proverbs 11:16 - a gracious woman retains honor, but a ruthless man retain riches.) What pulls me in is when a player claims to be a christian. I want them to be that light in clay pots or salt improving flavor and preservation. Most of the time they are slaughtered by others or the media or they ring false. So can you play in a reality game as a born again believer? Or is there that battle of not being able to serve to masters? Which will it be? God or money? But what about Daniel and his companions. They where taken into a land and culture not their own. Daniel and his buddies chose not to eat the food given to the idols. Daniel told those over him to test and see who where stronger by the food they ate. Daniel and his friends where! So can a believer play the reality game and win the money?

I started to make a list to answer my 'what if' questions because I believe strongly that a believer's behavior is the only way to show truthfully Who has changed their heart. Here's my list:

1. Honor God
*With your body, mind, heart and soul, honor God. Be loyal/fear to Him only. Eyes on Him - everything else fades.
*Obedience bring blessing. Disobedience brings punishment.
*"He leads me in paths of right ways for His NAMESAKE. A good name is valued more than riches."

2. Set your mind on things above
*"Whatever is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, good report, virtuous, praiseworthy - think on these things" (phil 4:8)
*What is Eternal?

3. Be choosy with relationships (proverbs 12:26)
*"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (proverbs 4:23)
*honest weights (proverbs 11:1) Use honest weights in how you treat people and pay attention to how others treat others. Are they using honest weights?

4. Let your gentleness be known to all men (phil 4:5)
*"to slander no one, to be peaceable, to be full of courtesy, to walk humbly" (titus 3:2)

5. Test all things. Hold to what is good (I thess 5:21)

To sum up my thoughts in reality games as well as life, there are two kinds of logic playing out - God's Wisdom and man's logic. Therefore, when the world sees a believer play out his life in a different way, it just is absurd. It cannot be explained. A believer's hope lies in the fact that all God-pricking happens in the heart where human eyes cannot see. You must play it God's way. "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. " John 15:4

So is the Believer jumping into the arena? If you were to jump in there would there be a blood sport or would God shut up the lion's mouth? Would you be willing to sacrifice yourself up for another?

I am confident the believer can play the reality game and win hearts for God but the odds are that the believer won't be the last one standing with pockets overflowing UNLESS God's hand deems it otherwise.

I have yet to see this...

sharp & straight ...

My dear children,
Do not be nice people. I know I used to say nice matters and in a way it does but only in kindness and respect. You are living in a world full of ulgy and meaness. You will get your heart broken and you just might find your heart getting hardened. I don't want that for you. Your Heavenly Father doesn't want that for you.

I want you to be joyful in the Lord as it is your strength, staight and sharp like an arrow, and majestic in your pace like a lion unhindered by the enemy. That is why I bring us together as a family in our quiet time and why I challenge us all to dig deep in God's Word on all the issues that come up in world. I love our family discussions. I challenge you to hide His Word but also to it to us. I love your different views and get excited over your discoveries! I see how His Word lights up your eyes. When you leave the nest, I want you to be able to continue this in your own life and start it up in the families you will create.

Nehamiah 8:10 ~ The Joy of the Lord is my strength. A simple verse that you have hidden in your heart and a challenge we have done daily make Joy a priority in all that we do.

Proverbs 127 ~ You are the arrows staight and sharp in my quiver. As I release you out into your world with all your dreams, passions, and purpose, my fullest desire is to never stray. Stay in love with God. He is the best Keeper ever and He makes not only your way straight, He makes you straight and very sharp. You won't get lost or fall short. Act on His Love Letter.

Proverbs 28:1 ~ The righteous are as bold as lions and what about a lion that makes them bold? The pace of the lion is described as stately in their stride and retreats at nothing. Wow!!! There is a time to retreat and hide when your safety is in question whether it is physical or spiritual. But there is a time to be bold and it is your faith. Be proud of God and let God be proud of you and delight over you. You do that by walking in right ways. Don't question His Promises. Believe them. Be the lion!

The bigest most precious of all truths is to be soft. Guard against the hardening of your heart. You know my home is always open to you just as God's Arms will always welcome you. No matter the missteps or heartache that you fall into, we will always take you back. Never ever feel that you have done something so wrong that we could never love you. If you don't know how to 'fix' things back up, remember you can't only God can.

Happy is the man who is always reverent, but he who HARDENS his heart will fall into calamity. ~ Proverbs 28:14
He who is often rebuked , and HARDENS his neck, will suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy. ~ Proverbs 29:1

Keep straight. Keep sharp. Keep Joy of the Lord. Keep bold. Keep soft.

I love you and I believe in all your dreams, passions, and purpose. Go!!!!

huge huge huggers my luvs,
always your biggest mommers

Ruth Graham, faithful wife & servant ...

MONTREAT, North Carolina (AP) -- Ruth Graham, who surrendered dreams of missionary work in Tibet to marry a suitor who became the world's most renowned evangelist, died Thursday. She was 87.

Graham died at 5:05 p.m. at her home at Little Piney Cove, surrounded by her husband and all five of their children, according to a statement released by Larry Ross, Billy Graham's spokesman.

"Ruth was my life partner, and we were called by God as a team," Billy Graham said in a statement. "No one else could have borne the load that she carried. She was a vital and integral part of our ministry, and my work through the years would have been impossible without her encouragement and support. (Watch how Ruth Graham lived out her faith )

"I am so grateful to the Lord that He gave me Ruth, and especially for these last few years we've had in the mountains together. We've rekindled the romance of our youth, and my love for her continued to grow deeper every day. I will miss her terribly, and look forward even more to the day I can join her in Heaven."

"She would help my father prepare his messages, listening with an attentive ear, and if she saw something that wasn't right or heard something that she felt wasn't as strong as it could be, she was a voice to strengthen this or eliminate that," said her son, Franklin, who is now the head of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.

"Every person needs that kind of input in their life and she was that to my father."

"What she witnessed in her family home, she practiced for herself -- dependence on God in every circumstance, love for his word, concern for others above self, and an indomitable spirit displayed with a smile," said the Grahams' youngest daughter, also named Ruth.

Despite her reluctance to be a public personality herself, Ruth Graham met many of the powerful and famous through her husband -- who was a spiritual adviser to presidents for decades. President Bush and first lady Laura Bush called her a "remarkable woman of faith" who "inspired people around the world with her humor, intelligence, elegance, and kindness."

She met Billy Graham at Wheaton College in Illinois. He recalled in 1997 memoirs, "If I had not been smitten with love at first sight of Ruth Bell I would certainly have been the exception. Many of the men at Wheaton thought she was stunning."

From that point onward she had to endure her husband's frequent absences, remarking, "I'd rather have a little of Bill than a lot of any other man."

Due to her husband's travels, she bore major responsibility for raising the couple's five children: Franklin (William Franklin III), Nelson, Virginia, Anne and Ruth.

Ruth Graham was the author or co-author of 14 books, including collections of poetry and the autobiographical scrapbook "Footprints of a Pilgrim."

Ruth Graham will be buried at the new Billy Graham Library in Charlotte -- a source of apparent discord within the family last year. This week, Billy Graham said he and Ruth had decided "after much prayer and discussion" they would be laid to rest at the foot of a cross-shaped walkway in the library's prayer garden.

from cnn.com

{sighs} This stirs my heart. I long to be a helpmate. Ruth Graham is such a perfect picture.

I know there is great rejoicing in Heaven for a servant coming home even as there is tears in her husband eyes and great love and joy in his heart. It is amazing to be a believer. There are great tears yet great rejoicing when an earthly travel is through because there is a great hope. Our story is NOT ending rather there is a HAPPY EVER AFTER!!!

hymn food for the soul...

I never liked Mom's job. She works at the hospital 12 hours daily and 2-3 consecutive days a week. When it is two days in a row it falls every third weekend. Holidays are every other. We are always having to work around her schedule. And trying to get someone to cover a requested day off is impossible. I wanted her support and presence for my glass show and but noooooo. Dad struggles the most on Sunday when Mom works. He doesn't like being alone on that day especially.

Tonight Mom just sat down and poured her heart out. It was a rough two days. She works on the cancer wing. Today a wife was told that her husband's (same age as me) time is now. Mom expressed how God always gives her just the right words to say. Like today she said, 'You cannot handle this alone. You need your support system. Your family is your support. Who can we call?' I don't think she realized God's touch until later. Then she said something profound, 'sometimes we need a support system.'

I made a note to self to let her know that I am glad she expressed herself. I want to be able to support her. Family is your support right? After the hug, she said she was sorry for letting it all out! Come on! No! Let me support! In fact that is my life's role or job.

I asked her if she found that her faith & relationship with God helped her with all the death that comes to her floor. She said definitely. Then she told me about how the Amish (we have a good size community of them here) come and surround their loved one and sing. It could be just young people or a group of family but they come and sing the hymns like how they did at my grandma's funeral last summer. It is parts with no instruments. Often other patients and families ask if the Amish will come by and sing or even just come sing in the hall. The Amish even in their grief and joy come out in the hall and sing. Amazing! Of course I had tears and then made mom cry.

I can't help but think how awesome it would be to make time with someone special or even your whole family up to her floor and sing the old and dear hymns. What a perfect crash op for a barbaric off-road trail.