the bride's veil ...

Have you ever wondered about "& the government shall rest on His Shoulders"? (Isaiah 9:8)  I may have had some wonder but I am living in an age of really bad governments.  Governments that war against its people.  Governments that war with other governments.  Governments that sell off morals and liberties.  Governments that distort truth and freedoms.  So at face value I am glad that the government rest on Jesus's shoulders. He has the last Word.

Pastor Stephen Davey has such a God-given gift of wisdom and knowledge and I love his An Indescribable Gift message where he colors in Isaiah's full picture of the government resting on His Shoulders.

"When the year of Kiddushin was over, the groom would begin a noisy procession to the bride's home.  ... After arriving at the bride's home, the two of them would then begin the walk back to the groom's home ... during that walk, at some point in the brief journey the bride would remove the veil from her face and lay it upon the groom's shoulder, and the crowd would chant a song that included the words 'her authority is upon his shoulder.'  Her life is upon his shoulder: the government of her life was now upon his shoulder.  Obviously this reference includes the sovereign rule of Christ over all the governments of the world, but what is lost is the imagery of a husband who loves his wife and bears the responsibility to care for her, and she finds security and rest in his authority and provision. That is the picture Isaiah is drawing!" (from Davey's message)

As a woman a veil over the face is a covering of safety.  In today's terms I see it like a pair of sunglasses.  Every spring I go for my Saturday sun walks.  I am not the most confident and have to do a lot of cheering myself out there.  Putting on a pair of sunnies help in my little mind that there is a layer of protection between me and others.  If they can't see my eyes, they can't see me.  Yes, I know crazy notion but it gets me out there walking!  So if I lay that protection on the shoulder of my husband, it means that I am allowing my husband to see my vulnerability and allowing his strength to shield and protect me.

"He's coming for you, and upon His broad, omnipotent shoulder you can, as His bride, lay your veil, as you surrender to His authority and His care and His provision.  We say to Jesus Christ: "the authority of my life is upon your shoulder.  My trust for care and provision is upon your shoulder."  We cannot fully describe Him, but we can fully surrender to Him. And as you place the veil of your dreams and your wishes and your will upon His shoulder..." (from Davey's message)

I love that I can lay all upon Jesus's shoulders.  I seek safety.  I want to be protected.  I don't want to be out there on the stage of life all by myself.  Gladly, I have a Husbandman that is my Shield and Defender.  And what broad strong shoulder He has.

It also means that I allow Jesus to govern me.  I must follow His Lead.  I am quite alright with that.  I am human.  I make mistakes.  I run empty of Joy and Love and Thanksgiving and Strength.... etc.  He never runs low.  His resources are rich and plentiful.  He wants me to take His Resources and to use.

I think in pictures and word-pictures and this masterpiece is one I shall cherish and remember and walk more uprightly in this rich abundant life Jesus has given me.

 

He tells me I am His own...

A hot shower wakes up my brain but sadness lingers in my soul. Songs and hymns have always chased darkness away allowing Light to enter. A split second ticks ♪ "and He walks with me and He talks with me and He tells me I am His own" ♪. How perfect!

I have Someone Who walks with me. I'm not alone! I have Someone Who talks with me. He knows my thoughts and isn't afraid! He tells me what to do even if it is to wait. I belong to to Someone. This misfit isn't an outcast! I had to pour out my gratitude to my Heavenly Father.

Dearest Heavenly Father,
This is where I struggle most.  I desire at the very least a mental soul partnership yet I am a loner.  I can't stand herds or going with the in crowd but I crave that one on one connection.  I was a melancholy until I realized that my voice needed to sing.  You brought someone into my life yet as he roves I am here alone with You.  Thank You for walking with me on my journey.  Thank You for listening and speaking.  You are comfort and peace to a heavy withering old soul.  Thank You for creating me even if everything I am doesn't fit that well.  There is a reason and a purpose for my life.  Thank You for keeping me.  You are the Great Keeper and Lover of my heart and soul.   Thank You for this blog.  I often meet You here as my thoughts form and fly out through my fingers.  Your Ways are secret and higher than mine.  I long to stop striving!  I long to simply and peacefully rest in YOUR ALMIGHTY ARMS!!!!
always Yours,
little keeper

as for me ...

When he has been gone for six years and suddenly pops back in your life and forgiveness happens and things are back to normal ... well, normal as in the connection is still there but also the normal of his absence began to accumulate - three weeks to be exact!  {takes in deep breath} No! I wasn't going to go there. I wasn't going to go ballistic but it didn't mean that my feelings weren't a bit raw.  

God answered my prayer in six years when I had expected to find out in Heaven.  What if God gave me my answer to take it back again?  Would I be ok?  Well, I would have to be after an answered prayer that rocked my world.  So... now what?  

I decided I would wait until four weeks had gone by all the while asking God deal with him.  I didn't have to wait that long before I found out from him that some changes where happening in his life and there would be some wait times and maybe longer wait times than the 3 weeks.  Here again it was God working the plans out so that I wouldn't go crazy.  And just like that it zapped my frazzled heart into a calming stillness. 

So this girl is just going to take this really cool friendship in stride.  This guy will have to lead; I refuse too.  But there isn't just two sides to this relationship.  God is the third part and because He has been soooo gooood to me with this relationship, I am at rest and it feels so good.  I know me and there will still be anxious moments but I know how to stop it. 

But as for me,

it is good to be near God.

I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;

      I will tell of Your Deeds.

Psalms 73:28

As for me I chose to love one another and I will keep choosing to love one another  .... 

for God so loved you ...

Dear Niece,

Guess what my dear? I have begun to read your Twilight books with the last one to go. Oh, there is a lot to chatter about!!

I get it. There is an intrigue. Something that grabs you & holds you. It has got to be the love Bella intensely feels. It is young & dangerous. It is old & wise. It is protective & fierce. It is also very illusive in human form.

I have been on the search of love. Sure, there is no ring on the finger or signatures on a contract but I have found love. It is God-Love. It is Joy. It is peace. It is comfort. It is dangerous. It is wise. It is protective. It is fierce. It is transcendent. It allows you to sing over the storms. It is hearing God singing songs of deliverance over you. It is a mysterious adventure. You must hang on!

Holding the Almighty's Hand allows your heart to overflow with God-Love. This love floats around your family & friends like a cool spring breeze fragrant with new floral scent. This love radiates from your eyes & your smile that strangers & acquaintances are surprisingly happy to catch. This love allows you to love the man of your dreams even when your prince charming is a bit froggy!

I have a book for you! The author has saturated her writings from God's Love Letter, the Bible. "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J Roberts is very intimate & very real. For God so loved you! Grab this & let if overflow your heart.

always,
keeper

Before you freak out about me reading the Twilight books, if I had my way I would not. When your children or the children you love read these books, I think you must. Who better than me? I am an English Teacher at heart and I love getting deep with books. I also get deep with God so I can take this on only through Him.

I am very concerned about her reading these books. There are some things that I am totally shocked that an author of teenage books would put in there when we are trying to teach our teens what is socially correct or dangerous. That is one negative and the other which is no surprise is how the author makes monsters normal and ok. In fact these monsters are really demons, don't you think?

I want to know what she is thinking but I don't want to turn her off. I want to ask innocent questions and really get her to think. I am praying about this. I hope to but she is always busy in sports and rarely comes to family get-togethers.... {heavy sigh}

out of life's storms & into Thy Calm ...

I heard this song play on BBNRadio.org yesterday afternoon and I wanted to reacquaint myself with this old hymn. The right words at the right time kind of moment lets my heart uncurl from the tight ball of anger and brokenness that had taken hold. A breeze was in the air taking me to Jesus ....


Jesus, I come
Out of my bondage, sorrow, and night,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy freedom, gladness, and light,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of my sickness, into Thy health,
Out of my want and into Thy wealth,
Out of my sin and into Thyself,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of my shameful failure and loss,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the glorious gain of Thy cross,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of earth’s sorrows into Thy balm,
Out of life’s storms and into Thy calm,
Out of distress to jubilant psalm,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of unrest and arrogant pride,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy blessèd will to abide,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of myself to dwell in Thy love,
Out of despair into raptures above,
Upward for aye on wings like a dove,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of the fear and dread of the tomb,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the joy and light of Thy throne,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of the depths of ruin untold,
Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold,
Ever Thy glorious face to behold,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Words: William T. Sleeper, in Gospel Hymns No. 5, 1887.
Music: George C. Stebbins (MI DI, score).

rainbow promise ...

I just have been having a hard time liking my work and it has gotten sooooo much worse. When I take a day off, then the next day is a nightmare. I try to do my best and every time I make a mistake, i can feel my will get defiant and stand up with arms cross. It takes me a long time to get my will to stand down.

I can't figure out the headaches. What am I allergic too now? Then I have a pain in my neck high up in my head. Can't figure that out either. So when I mad a grocery run, the raindrops began to fall on the steamy earth. I was hoping they would wait because I wasn't sure if they were going to get violent. Mr. Sun kept shining and wouldn't let the raindrops turn black. I walk out of store with my food and was kissed by wet liquid sunshine. Guess what? There in the cloudy blue sky was a rainbow arcing from one side then getting lost in blue cotton candy clouds but reappearing on the other side. My heart jumped for joy! It was like God straightening out my bent back and shored up my broken heart. I know where to put my focus but sometimes I need a lift...

My Heavenly Father loves me!!!!!! What Joy!!!!

When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee;
and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee;
when thou walkest through the fire thou shalt not be burned;
neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
Isaiah 43:2

monthly thoughts of 2009

Jan: Romanced by an Everlasting Love - Jer 31:3
Feb: Faithful & True - Rev 19:11
Mar: StrongMan - Matthew 12:29
Apr: Sovereign
May: Provider - JEHOVAH-JIREH = the Lord shall provide
Jun: Perfect Love - 1 John 4:18
Jul: my Shepherd - Ps 23
Aug: Shield & Defender
Sep: Love that will not let me go - ♫ O Love ♫
Oct: First & Last - Isa 44:6
Nov: Fullness of Joy - Ps 16:11
Dec: Gift Giver

This year's theme was about God's romance for me and I found that His Names are like pet names or love names. I was hoping to focus all my love desires on Jesus so I wouldn't be so mucked up with being single. I have spent about twenty five years studying how to be a good wife, have a good marriage, and figuring out the male species. I have come up empty handed. Now if I find myself still single at 80 and some little old man wants to sweep me off my feet and marry me, FORGET IT. Nada. Never. If you couldn't make me a honest woman when I was young and I spent all my days fending for myself, you don't get me. I know that is the future and I really don't know how I will feel but here at 40, I am feeling both. I want companionship but I am so sick of what I am finding that no I don't want to get married.

Why is it that I am a responsible woman cleaning up my life and working out my issues and GROWING when a man seems to think that he can be a couch potato in full out hibernation till hell freezes over when it comes to his relationships and his spiritual life? Look, I cannot nor will I try to change a man but to sit back and see that a man zonk out, run away, or shut out issues that bite him on the nose is ludicrous! Give it up to the Heavenly Father already! Man cannot change himself but to runaway isn't working. Seek God and He will always be there. I know, the soapbox is out and I am shouting away. A raving mad old maid here. Laugh away. Low point here. {sighs} Just a question that has boiled over and is burning the bottom of the pot.

I think I need to stay here and focus on my romance with my Heavenly Father as my heart is broken and scarred. It still needs the Hands of the Master Physician to heal up my wounds. I did not feel this way all year. Crochet amigurumies has insulated my heart but for some reason it is huge right now. Maybe because someone tried to set me up and my heart went into attack mode. They had my well being in mind but even so it messed up the seemingly calm waters. So because I am having issues, 2010 is following 2009 with a Elizabeth Elliott's quote "Our disappointments are God appointments." I am seeking to use my disappointments for God. When I seek Him, He always find me.... saving me from myself!

True Strength ...

You know the feeling when it is such a relief for a man to step in for you and carry some burden that you had been overloaded with? Or the feeling when a man spoke up for or stood as a shield when you felt paralyzed by the need to be nice but needed to be strong on your values? It is call STRENGTH and every beauty needs someone to be strong for you?

I have always enjoyed and thanked God for His Creations like when I am going to work on a winter day and the bright yellow sun is waking up and kissing me on the cheek. I thank God for this because it is His Kiss and His pat on my back saying 'go get 'em'. I also thanked God for the past two weeks off because I needed it so badly and under normal circumstances couldn't. I totally enjoyed every moment off. I got to take care of me and my space. But I realized that my thank you needs to be more specific so that I recognize for myself that it is God, my Great Lover, who stood up for me and my beauty and said 'It is time to rest and enjoy it.' Now that is True Strength and True Romance. Ahh, my Everlasting Love!

Q's:
Where has God been my Strength and stood up for me or shielded me when I couldn't? How has His Strength protected my beauty? Have I thanked God for His Everlasting Love and Strength? How does if feel to finally breath again without the burden God shouldered? Will I let His Strength nourish my beauty?