It has been a long troublesome intrapersonal study of why I react the way I do to some relationships. Like why I am not a jokester or why it hurts when people say they are going to do this and then don't or why it breaks my confidence when some makes a joke on me or why I feel pushed and I come fighting back or why do I listen and get no listen in return ..... I have found a layer of learning:
real time:
* Every person's dreams and life journey is important enough to listen and support. Every comment and inflection is real. Every moment is real. There are boundaries to keep and respect. You can be playful but no playing jokes as they can damage their very soul. Life is a journey and those moments no matter how exciting or painful, should be cherished. Smiles and laughter comes from enjoyment and delight in companionship. Real time is a really deep relationship with another with no abandonment. Like in the movie 'Shall We Dance?', 'to have someone to bear witness to your life' journey .. to know your growth .. to know your beauty .. along every step .... is sooooo priceless!!!
casual time:
* not wrong just different than real time. Just another way of dealing with relationships. In fact we often have both kinds in our lives. Here the relationships are where we can pick up where we left off no matter how long it takes to get back to each other. Laughter is more a way to survive life. No need to be crushed with worry. (but what is really happening on the inside?) I really need to point out that all of our relationships should start out in casual time. Never go to fast!!!! A relationship needs to develop into real time on all four levels ... Are they physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually there for you? This is something I would teach my girls....
These are just thoughts sorted out in two piles so that I can deal better. I am deep. I experience moments with real time. I laugh. I delight. I am balanced. I am excited about my journey and growing is the mystery unfolding in me. I often struggle with how casual people are.... and I am learning ....
my1st layer b/t real and casual
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