Shame enters in and makes its crippling home deep within our hearts. Shame is what makes us look away, so we avoid eye contact with strangers and friends. Shame is that feeling that haunts us, the sense that if someone really knew us, they would shake their heads in disgust and run away. Shame makes us feel, no, believe, that we do not measure up - not to the world's standards, the church's standards, or our own.
Word were said, painful words. Things done, awful things. And they shape us. Something inside of us shifted. We embraced the messages of our wounds. We accepted a twisted view of ourselves. And from that we chose a way of relating to our world. We made a vow never to be in that place again. We adopted strategies to protect ourselves from being hurt again. A woman who is living out of a broken, wounded heart is a woman who is living a self-protective life. She may not be aware of it, but it is true. It's our way of trying to "save ourselves."
The problem is our plan has nothing to do with God.
fr: ch 4 'Wounded' - "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge
~ps 45:11
Dearest King,
I have vowed to never be exposed!!! He has ripped open the forever wound of mine. I hate abandonment! I know I have a choice to pack up and leave or to stay and bloom. I was searching for what to do.
Thank You for exposing my old ways and suggesting Your Plan for me ... which is beauty. I will bloom drawing from Your Spring that will NEVER run dry.
~ always your beautiful wildflower
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