Thursday, January 26, 2006

leaning ...

Fear not, for I Am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I Am your God.
I will strengthen you & help you;
I will uphold you with My Righteous Right Hand.
~ Isa 41:10
I will hold you up, God says. But as long as you lean on someone else, you can not lean on Me. As long as you lean on some other thing, you won't lean on Me. They become substitutes for Me, so that you aren't being upheld by My Hand.'

When you lean on another person or another thing, your focus is sideways, not vertical. Human crutches paralyze the walk of faith. fr: Bedside Blessings by Charles Swindoll

Dear Heavenly Father,
I think I should have a Master's degree on leaning by now. With each passing year I have walked alone with You, I begin to think maybe I have not totally learned how to lean? Looking back over Our steps together, I treasure all my personal indepth learnings and I would not trade them in for loniness in companionship.

Yet as my heart yearns for male companionship and his warrior love I need, I cannot seem to grasp why a teamship can't lean on You together. Marriage is a teamship. Like in hockey you have to depend on your fellow team members to be there as you pass the puck to them when you are in a jam. You also depend on them to block and take the heat off you when you're in trouble. You trust that they are working out. You trust they are comitted to the putting the puck in the goal. You believe they support you. Kinda sounds a lot like leaning....

In my future I am looking for a team member who will continuely point me towards You the Goal. It is a union of two people becoming one. Teams members with one Goal in mind ... always lean on God. Is there a companionship in my future where our union would reflect and lean on You? If not, I know I won't want so I keep leaning here and now in my singlehood. Leaning on You, I have Companionship.

Thank You for Your Everlasting-Arms. Thank You for believing in me. You are refining my heart and my inside beauty. I have had an one-on-one learning where if I had a teamship, I would have missed out on the blooming of me. I can say that the real me is showing and it was done with the gentle care of Your Masterful hands. I am full of gratitude. Yet, isn't the next step forward a union leaning on You? for a fullness and full circle of my character?
~ always your little girl


Spurgeon: bass & melody
distilled: solitude vs loniness

4 comments:

  1. You've expressed that really well Keeper, and the words by Charles Swindoll really added to my thoughts over the past few days...

    Thank you :-)

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  2. After reading Lovely's solitude vs loniness, I came back to my entry here. I saw the connection between the two.

    Solitude means in my own words 'a quiet solid leaning on God' ... I often feel the loniness steal into my heart. I often long for companionship. Now after connecting the dots, my lonely times will have a question to adjust my space. ''Am I leaning on God who never changes?''

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  3. Genesis 8:11
    The dove came in to him in the evening.

    Blessed be the Lord for another day of mercy, even though I am now weary with its toils. Unto the Preserver of men lift I my song of Gratitude. The dove found no rest out of the ark, and therefore returned to it; and my soul has learned yet more fully than ever, this day, that there is no satisfaction to be found in earthly things ... God alone can give rest to my spirit. As to my business, my possessions, my family, my attainments, these are all well enough in their way, but they cannot fulfil the desires of my immortal nature. "Return unto thy rest, O my soul, for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee." ~Spurgeon

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  4. "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:25-26

    Yes, You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever... You are enough. Yes, You really are enough... I lean on You and i am safe, i am secure... You alone give rest to my spirit...

    ~Thank You~

    ....................................................
    I really like your definition of solitude... i see solitude as 'being alone, but finding i am not alone'... that's when it becomes 'a quiet solid leaning on God'... without that quiet solid leaning on Him, the aloneness (even with the realisation that i am not alone in my aloneness) turns into loneliness...

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