I think it is time for me to own up and be honest with myself. I have no clue how to make, keep, and maintain a relationship or a friendship. I long ago gave up on having a best friend. It is a myth. Now days after many many attempts and failures, I conclude that relationships and friendships are not a strong suit of mine and in fact it is a weakness. A weakness that no matter how much I desire, learn, and so desperately wanting, I get no where. Those I want to have in my life leave. Those that come into my life seek from me something I cannot give. What is up? I give up!
How do I let my gentleness be known to all men and still have a backbone of strength to not let the thief enter my stronghold? How do I still have mercy for a sinner and yet protect my faith? I have no clue. All I can do and all that I will do is immerse myself in the Word. "The Words of the Lord are PURE WORDS, like silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times." (Psalms 11:6) I want to be pure. Purity is beautiful. What girl doesn't want to beautiful?
I cannot speak well. I need to a pen and scrap paper to jot down key points in a brainstorm map. I need my keypad and my fresh white screen to clean out my thought process, making sense of a jumble mix of thoughts. Even then these are private thoughts between me and myself - and of course any reader who has landed here.
I have so many passages that remind me of my growth and my need to stay strong and be choosy with my friends. I cannot falter here. I have asked God why this person I thought was long gone and was relieved to see go - come back. I have to say no and I can when I am here alone with God and my Bible. Will I be able to do so ear to ear?
Here are some places my head has been:
"My son, if sinners entice you, DO NOT CONSENT." ~Proverbs 1:10
Prudence vs perverse ~ After doing a word study of Prudence in Proverbs, I will never mind being called a Prude ever again!
"Abstain from every form of evil." ~ I Thess 5:22
*** My relationship with God trumps any other relationship!! ***
choosy & proud
relationships
"You never sin alone." ~Ravi
ReplyDeleteThere will always be victims.