closure ...

I believe closure helps in healing yet I wasn't allowed closure for a very very significant relationship so I know life doesn't always tie up everything in a neat bow. Life is a lot of clashing and banging into each other. It is one of the hardest part about being human. We need connection and yet there is so much conflict.

"you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. Therefore confirm your love for him .." ~ II Cor 2:7

Whew! Hard to swallow this one when it is a relationship you are ending because how can it be love when you are putting the kibosh on it. In my very very significant relationship, I don't know what I did wrong and I don't know if I should even think like that. Anyways, in other relationships I know I have tried to mend them and language problems occurred even though the mother tongue was English. I probably put undo strain on it because I tend to hash and hash it out hoping for a happy ending to our struggle. I have been accused of too much hands on approach. Sooo, what to do - what to do...

This relationship learning curve has been very steep and torturous to the point that I want to give up and yet there I am in the middle of it wanting to have a clean closure for the other person so that they can go on with their life in a good way and leaving my own life intact and peaceful again. I hate fighting and I hate saying no. I hate hurting others feelings and yet I hate others not hearing my own cries and letting me be the real me and not some conjured up me. I need to be the real me and not let myself assimilate into someone else's enjoyments just to have a friend. Isn't care love but not love in the love love kinda of way?

Can't sorrow be a stiff neck like in Proverbs 29:1? Can't sorrow be a hardened heart like in Proverbs 28:14? I just can't have this. Unbelievers need Jesus Christ. I know it is in the how.
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