Friday, September 01, 2006

personality vs privilege

Below is part of a letter where an argument was made that anger is part of his personality so deal with it. ‘I am a fellow adult, living an adult life, making adult decisions. Thought you were my cheerleader etc.’ :
From the book titled ‘Type Talk the 16 personality types that determine how we live, love, and work’ here are some statements that I found concerning my personality type that are not excuses, but rather explanations of behavior, outlook ... :
* Often seem aloof and sometimes argumentative, such behavior is simply the result of their attempt to stimulate the world around them.
*Learn by arguing, part of their continuing quest to understand the universe.
*’Friendly Discussion’ may be seen by others as hostile, even obnoxious behavior.
based on Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator / authors are Otto Kroger & Janet M Thuesen

Oh how this burned me to the core. I am shy by nature. It is my personality. As a child and a teenager, I tried but crashed and burned on trying to change myself into an outgoing person. I finally gave up because shyness is a part of what makes me ME.

Being shy gets a bad rap. No one sees you because it is like you are invisible and if they do see you it only a presumed surface. How many times have I heard ‘oh, she is so stuck up!’ What? No way! The poor girl is just quiet taking in all around her or she is just quaking in her tennis shoes!

I am quite glad to be shy. There is a lot of goodness in it like being able to truly listen. Shyness has also kept trouble at bay during my impressionable years. Being shy helped me from saying things that would get me into trouble. So as I saw the good parts, I began to exercise it and figured out how to flex my shy muscles into something more.

The biggest problem with shy is that people are uncomfortable around me or they say things like ‘she has issues with depression.’ I finally figured it out when Joy came to my rescue when I had a crash and burn in my life. Looking back I can now see that I took active steps to enable others to feel good about themselves around me. Especially at work I would notice that most people would just pass me without looking at me and by doing so they wouldn’t say anything to me. I am not good with striking up a conversation on a whim, so I just greeted with a very warm and animated hello or good morning. Some of them where very hard to crack but I soon found that most have returned my greeting with speech and eyes. They are feeling comfortable enough to engage me in conversation.

I consider myself ‘bubbly shy’ and I feel I am continually growing more full of the person I was created to be. I know without a doubt that others are more comfortable with my brand of shy. What I am learning is that you cannot say it is my personality so deal with it. Rather it is a privilege to engage others with Joy, Love, Peace, Comfort, and Tenderness.

So I am sorry but I canNOT be a cheerleader to anger. I think I can say that I understand the anger thing. It liked to cage my shy. Anger likes to take residence when you are out of sorts with your world. It is a control thing. So be the one to control your anger and your personality. Take that controversial part of your personality and figure out how to allow others to feel comfortable around you. Anger is not a privilege nor is it a right. You must tame it for the good or you will grow to be a very lonely person. To be an adult is to do better when you know better. I still have a long way to go ...

flat tire ...

what if I refuse to receive sour milk?

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