From : preciousgift
Sent : Sunday, May 8, 2005 5:18 PM
To : keeper
Subj : Quick Hi.
My son said you called yesterday.
I've been working unsustainable hours lately... Have my daughter’s orthodontic work to pay for.
When I get a few minutes to myself I just want to talk to son and daughter, and just be by myself.
Nothing personal, but I close my door and regenerate while I can.
Be good.
Preciousgift
Translation:
From: Not into you
To: not for keeps
Subj: quick good bye
Don’t call me. I am too busy, too poor, too tired, and too insular to carry on a conversation with you. My son and daughter are important BUT NOT YOU. What is left which is less than crumbs is for closing the door to you. It is personal .. me.
I don’t care that we feel like home when we talk. I don’t care if we had some good laughs. I don’t care if I called you first or suggested creating a book together. I don’t care if we had a safe place to explore our inner most thoughts and our walk with God. I don’t care for meat or fluff. I don’t care if you are finally getting down to your naked innermost being with me. I don’t care for friendship or a significant. It is no longer important or of value to me right now. Go away little girl.
good bye and good riddance
not into you
my homework from the book that allows no-excuse truth to understand guys….
''He’s Just Not That into You'' ~greg behrendt & liz tuccillo
Aren’t you being harsh with your translation?
The book was harsh and I cried, but after the storm I was finally able to let go of pain and value me. I resorted back to asking God why when that is the last thing I wanted to do. This was excruciating pain and I don’t want to feel or fall into it again. I wrote out the translation to keep a lesson learned. My life is about how I carry myself on this earth. I refuse broken and beaten.
So PreciousGift is totally written out of your life for good?
If he stays away, yes. If he should come back, there will have to be negotiations for renewal of a friendship. I will be holding his feet to the fire. I was extremely upset over his devaluing us and me.
Don’t get me wrong. PreciousGift is a pretty cool guy. I still care about him and his dreams. I have some pretty great memories of our talks. ‘all good’ a favorite phrase he would use. He is my issac and he’s all God’s.
I take it you had some great memories. What do you do about them?
I keep them. It was pretty awesome to experience a guy who I really dug. He was spiritually on the same wavelength as I was. He also knew how to have a discussion with me without making me feel attacked. I loved his laugh and he made me smile. I felt secure and comfortable with him. I loved that. I loved that we could talk about the color blue without him thinking it was strange. I love that he like asking questions of each other to find out the real us.
It is confusing to me. I felt he really liked me and that I was important friend in his life to up and disappear….
Did you have any little voice in the back saying ‘wait, he isn’t adding up here’?
Yes, he was describing how his sisters where insular. I point out asked him if he wasn’t insular as well. His answer? Yes. I could since his moods especially the ones when everything was overwhelming him. Flight was his speed so I asked him about men and their caves. His answer was helpful but with a million miles of earth and water between us, there was no way for me to reach out touch and he gave me no ways reach him.
What would you do differently?
I would never have called him even in the name of saving money or writing a book. I would have never over emailed him. I would learn to keep it short and simple and only to return his correspondance. If he would complain about meat or naked, I would have held his feet to the fire and say hey, pursue. If you want it, go for it. When he hedge the question about whether what we had would get to more, I would again have to hold him to the fire. If you want it bad enough you will do something about it. No more trying to spare his feelings or my possible awkwardness. If I would have done these things, I would have know for sure about him. If he would have excelled in his pursuit, then I would have know he was strong enough for me.
good gift vs cad, fraud & coward
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