'so into you' letter ...

Dear Hot Stuff .. (yes you, miss keeper!),

You wonder if I have noticed you? Just divide the time in half for you to notice me. Don’t worry about your quiet nature or that you feel invisible because I have already noticed you. All it took was your smile and warm eyes to pique my interest. You have been working on your engaging quiet style so stop doubting the aloofness. That was said of you long long ago. It is not there today. Do I want you bad enough? Oh yes! I will pursue you. You desire to know for sure without any doubts that I am into you so go on love life and be certain that I will find you.

Don’t worry about the friendship factor. If I am truly excited about and attracted to you, I won’t stop myself .. I will go for more. I will take it further than friendship. I am not afraid. Too little money, too busy, too stressed, ‘love is too damaged’ is not going to stop me from trying to keep you in my life. Because I dig you, I might ask for personal reasons to go slow, but I will let you know immediately. I won’t keep you guessing; because I want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away. Having said that don’t let me trick you into asking me out. It makes for a lazy me. I want you? I will do the work to keep you. It is ok for you to make me work for your number or for contact information. One note .. if you say no, I will ask again. I am strong enough and for you to know that I am for real, I won’t make you feel lousy. You need to feel comfortable in your decisions and your life. Remember this, men like to pursue women. Yes, I like NOT knowing if I can catch you. In the end I will feel so totally rewarded when I do .. especially if the chase is a long one. Your reward? Knowing that I wanted you enough to pursue you. The chase allows you to know my love.

I will never be toooo busy to call you. I like taking a break from my generally mundane day to talk to someone I like. It makes me happy. I like happy. Just like you. Because I am into you, you are the bright spot in my horribly busy day which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you. Don’t allow any excuses for not calling fool you. Always remember actions speak louder than words especially excuses. Please don’t except the ‘oh, I forgot’! Don’t you want a guy who’ll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you? Yeah, I thought so. I don’t want to be sloppy with my relationships. My promises need to stand solid. My words must retain all the value or you will lose faith in me. I could not stand that. I am into you way too much. Memo: Men are never too busy or forgetful to get what they want. If a guy (jerk) creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on the little thing, he will do the same for the big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s ok with disappointing you. You are too exceptional for me to waste. You are always on my mind. I sure don’t want you to be disappointed in me.

There is a line between ‘hanging out’ and dating. Yes, it is a bit gray so let me clear things up for you so you know my full intentions without guesswork. When I ask you out on a true date, I am making it official. I want to see you alone to find out if there is more to us. I will be taking you out for a public excursion, a good meal, and some hand holding if you allow. ‘Fear of intimacy’ is a definite urban myth to cover a coward’s ways.

Watch out for the word ‘friend’. It is used by both sexes to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. When picking friends, I like the ones who don’t make me cry myself to sleep. So take care of yourself. If you’re crying yourself to sleep, wipe the tear away. Go love life. You are soo worth more than to be used. I want to feel emotionally protected when a relationship becomes serious. I want you to feel safe as well. One way I can prove protected is by laying claim to my relationship to you. I will say that ‘I would like to be your boyfriend’ or ‘I’m your boyfriend’ or ‘If you ever break up with that other guy who’s not your boyfriend, I’d like to be your boyfriend.’ I want you all to myself. I want your beautiful glowing self in my life. You can bet that I won’t allow a couple weeks go by much less once a month without you. I want you so I’ll be calling you, and making you feel good and desired fully. Give your word that you will not tolerate murky, gray, unidentified, and undeclared feelings exist in your romantic relationship. You deserve all the love you dream and wish for in the teamship you dream about.

Even though deep intimacy is best when kept for marriage, men are going to have a hard time keeping his paws off you when they are into you. So yeah, you bet I am going to want to some hand holding and kissing. The nugget here is to know if I am into you or not is to realize if there isn’t touching involved that guy is not into you. Also beware of those that use you to not feel alone. They are just passing the time getting the physical until the girl they are into come along. (User Losers!) You are a beautiful creature inside and out. Stick to your values. I want your values and all. Don’t be tempted to settle for the sake of attention. I will give you my full attention. You are too special to me to neglect your heart.

Now comes the pep talk about cheaters. Don’t ever take the excuse or share the blame for why they cheated. Don’t even ask what you did wrong. Cheating doesn’t just happen. It was planned and executed with full knowledge that it could end your relationship. Even if they claim they don’t know why they did it, it is not something you should tolerate. Cheating gets easier over time so why let them do it over and over again? Remember cheaters cheat themselves … because he doesn’t get to be with you!!! Wait for me. I value you too much to cheat you on the relationship you so dream about. I too want a protected marriage. Yes, I believe in communication.

I want you too much to be intoxicated by any other form such as alcohol and drugs. You take my breath away. I feel like a man around your soft gentle ways. You make me smile and laugh. Why would I want to lose any of my precious memories with you?

Every man has laid claim to not wanting to get married or doesn’t believe in marriage or has issues with marriage. That is because they hadn’t found their match. Guarantee I even said those things. Interesting though that you caught my eye and love cured all my commitment phobias! I share your views for the future. I desire a loving commitment for the rest of our days just like you. Sure, there will never be a good time, financially, to get married. Too poor is just an excuse! I am going to let you know as soon as possible that I mean business. I will not give off mix messages. I do care how you are feeling. The ‘I’m not ready’ is another lame excuse. It foreshadows unfulfilling relationship for you. Hold close to your heart, I am a guy who can’t wait to love you. It is a really big deal for a good guy to finally meet the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Never spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you. I want you and you will have not doubts. I definitely want to marry you!!!

Maybe your heart broken by guys who break up with you before I can reach you. ‘I don’t want to go out with you’ means just that. Walk away with class. Walk away with your head held high, graciously, and with dignity. That’s it baby! Don’t be sucker into to doing anything for him. Don’t get all crazy either. Go ahead and grieve for the loss but go out and love life. Love yourself enough to know what you want is ok to have. Know you gave with all your heart. That is the beauty of you. Don’t waste it on him anymore. I can’t wait to enjoy all the beauty you will bring into my life. Believe.. your dreams will come true because I believe too.

Maybe he’s gone. Poof. Vanished into thin air. Confused? Don’t be! He’s made it clear that he’s so not into you that he couldn’t even be bothered to leave a post-it. Sure you want to solve the mystery but the important part of this disappearance is that he didn’t want you and he no guts to say it to your face! Don’t give him the chance to reject you again. No answer is your answer. Case closed. Plainly he did not value you. You crave value and attention. It is extremely important to have respect and interest in you. Keep it. Don’t let him take that desire from you. Don’t be where you’re not wanted but do be where you want to be in your journey. He isn’t even worth the tears you may cry. This truly makes me mad. You are so worthy of loving attention. You are a beautiful woman worthy of my presence. Why would I want to disappear when I have such a radiant woman inside and out right in front of me? I want you and love you too much not to walk the rest of my days hand in hand with you.

Maybe he's married, living with a woman, or has a girlfriend, run girl run! Maybe you didn’t realize right away or maybe he said so or maybe it is an ex he still yelling about or maybe he is crying over his last girlfriend.... welll no matter what if he isn’t all yours, he’s still hers. Another way to put it is if the person you ‘love’ cannot freely spend his days thinking about you and being with you, it’s not REAL love. Unfortunately, we live in a world of broken relationships. Be so careful to keep to your dreams of a good marriage burning. It is ok to break off a bad relationship. I know you are a nice girl but don’t allow men to push you into a place that makes you feel bad. It is toxic. God will bless you with better relationships. (me!) Be ok to walk alone. You are going to meet many men in many different stages of recovering from relationships. If I is really into you, I will get over my issues fast and make sure I don’t lose you. Or I will make it clear to you how I feel, so there’s no mystery, and tell you up front that I’m not up to it right now. And then you best be sure, the minute I am ready, I will run out and find you. You are not easily forgettable.

Maybe he makes you unhappy because he is selfish or he bullies you, or doesn’t like your family and friends. Is he making you happy? No? Cut him loose. I am going to share responsibilities with you. I am going to put effort in taking you out on sweet dates! I am going to remember your birthday. You deserve flowers and walks. I will compliment you and thank you. If I fail in an area of affection, I will take action. You are going to like things that I may not understand but I will make an attempt to love your family and friends. These are your support team and why wouldn’t I want to know them and love them?

Now about yelling, being publicly humiliated, or made to feel fat or unattractive? It’s hard to feel worthy of love when someone is going out of their way to make you feel worthless. I cherish you and there is no way I could damage you with verbal or physical or physiological abuse. Now about leeching off your family, that is using you and those around you. Not going to happen. So if the guy is messed up somewhere, of course you know you can’t fix him. Yes, I am covering all the bases until I can get to you. So some last minute pointers: Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with. You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time. There’s never a reason to shout at someone unless they are in imminent danger. Make space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith!

I want you. I love you. Don’t worry! I’m coming for you! Read this often!
~ your future!
Instead of making notecards of this book, I took the guy smarts and wrote an 'into you' letter.
I will be keeping this lesson learned.
fr: ''He's Just Not that into You'' ~ greg behrendt & liz tuccillo

My Grace is sufficient for you