one lost ...

Heavenly Shepard,
You said You will go out and search for the one lost. You would leave the 99 in the fold or safe pasture just to go and find one who has lost his way.

I am lost. I've lost my way. I've lost my hope. I've lost my security. I've lost my joy. I'm a misfit. I've got sorrow in my bones. I've lost my sight. I've lost my hearing. Find me again.

I remember seeing You when I first started out on my own. There was just enough money and slowly over time the savings built up. Now my savings is slowing depleting. I am ok but I don't see You in the finances. Is it because I am ok or is it that I am just not seeing?

All week I have felt a great ... I can't even find a good word for this gloom... just a grey mass of some sort tugging down on my heart. I am always seeking You especially in Your sunrises or sunsets... I didn't feel You as much.

I haven't heard much from You ... I am reading a really powerful book. I've talked to You about it and I am seeking You but I haven't heard Your special Words here.

I probably did hear You but have so quickly forgotten. I probably did see You but have gotten so distracted. Find me. Catch me from falling into a dried up well.

To feel Your strong hand on the scruff on my neck... To feel Your Almighty Arms cradle me near to Your Heartbeat... To know the Great Husbandman loves me deeply ... To see Your nail pierced hands.... To be loved unconditionaly by You the Great Lover... To know that I am loved, valued, and important ... To feel Your undivided attention...

I want to feel all my sighs leave my sunken heart. I want to feel my soul puff up on Your warm love. I want to close my eyes and fall to sleep ...

Rest My lost sheep. I am here. Rest in My Words. Rest in Me... I love you, little one. I am here in your night. I watch over you. I am creating My Best in you. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Sleep, little one.
~Always Your Creator, Your Heavenly Father, Your Great Shephard, Your Great Husbandman & Lover

'But the Eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him,
on those whose hope is in His unfailing love,
to deliver them from death
& keep them alive in famine.
Ps 33:18-19

Ahh, I have misinterpreted! You said You will never ever leave me nor forsake me! Even if I feel lost or a misfit, You are right there quietly holding my hand and keeping me.... {sighs}