acts of service ...

: what it is :
* essence of the Christian's faith .. ie: Jesus washing the feet of the disciples
* 'serve one another'
* those who truly excel have a genuine desire to serve others
* highest pinnacle man ever scales
* freely given .. a choice
* 'more blessed to give than to receive'

: what it is not :
* slavery
* manipulation
* coercion
: Q : What acts of service have you done lately?
: Q : What kind of act of service would fill you?

... difference between service and slavery ... When people serve others because they are forced to do so, freedom to truly serve is lost. Slavery hardens the heart. Slavery creates anger, bitterness, and resentment.

A doormat is an inanimate object. You can wipe your feet on it, step on it, kick it around, or do whatever you like with it. It has now will of its own. It can be your servant, but not your lover. When you treat another peroson as an object, you preclude the possibility of love.

No person should ever be a doormat. We are creatures of emotion, thoughts, and desires. We have the ability to make decisions and take action. Allowing oneself to be used or manipulated by another is not an act of love. It is, in fact, an act of treason. You are allowing the person who is manipulating you to develop inhumane habits. Love says, "I love you too much to let you treat me this way. It is not good for you or me." Love refuses to be manipulated.

True love often finds its expression in acts .... freely given, not out of fear, but out of choice.

For some singles this love language comes easy. They grew up in homes where they were taught that 'actions speak louder than words.' ...

Other singles will find this love language extremely difficult to speak. Their family of origin emphasized everyone fending for himself. "Don't expect me to take care of you" is the message those people heard during their childhoods. Consequently the focus of their lives is looking out for their own needs. They expect everyone else to do the same.

When someone speaks our primary love language, we are drawn to them emotionally. We have high positive regard for them. We want to do something that will enhance their lives and reciprocate their love to us. { sooo true }

When we learn to speak each other's love language early in our relationships, we are able to keep each other's love tanks full. fr: "The Five Love Languages for Singles" by Gary Chapman

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Acts of Service doesn't fill my love tank like words, but I have thought about it. One act of service for me would be to scrape my windows off on those frosty winter mornings =) Knowing to how to graciously receive a love language especially not your primary language is key too. You have to honor and praise the effort. Always.

Being a student of a loved one is key. Think ahead and know what might be special to have done for them. I made sure I taped a tv show my mother was keeping tabs on. She was in the hospital so most likely she would miss the finale. Now if I can get it out of my vcr intact, we will be all set. I have grimlins sinking their teeth in and won't let me have the tape! This simple act is showing love.

I think acts of service is my mom's love language. Might be a close second to most mothers since they are always serving their families! Back to my mother.... I remember my mother taking me back to the bathroom sink, the one I supposedly cleaned! She said, "If you really care about something, you will make sure you get it done and done right." This phrase has stuck with me. If you really want to do something, you will bend over backwards to acheive it! Love is an action!

About manipulation and slavery .... wow! I know I have this. No wonder it didn't feel good. No wonder I would rebel. No wonder how frustrated I would get. And to think I encouraged this bad behavior. Once you know the feeling, keep it so you can recognize it quicker the next time.

love tank: gifts