I just feel so strongly about going through the 'for better' and 'for worse' with someone not just in a marriage, but with families and with deep friendships.
Take families for instance. Have you ever heard that if you want a close knit family, go camping? I thought about this and looked into my own camping stories. One that stands out is the night we had to sleep in the car because we arrived to late to the campsite. There was lightening. The only choice for my father was to have his young family sleep in the car. Mom had the back seat and Dad the front. My brother had the back foot area and I had the front passenger foot area. Sure I was only five but it is a memory that I remember that keeps us. Now we look fondly at these memories and smile. My camping memories really didn't include worse moments but it is still glue that holds us together.
Here is a memory passed to me that connects me to my grandfather I never got to know. My parents where coming home from their job at the hospital and Dad being so tired fell asleep at the wheel. We hit a tree. The emergency and my grandfather were called. I believe my grandfather reached the scene before the emergency team did. He ignored my parents and grabbed me into his safe arms. I will always remember this fondly. I have this connection that my siblings unfortunately do not have. This memory keeps my grandfather special to me.
In several lives past I had a huge run in with a student. I being small in nature got myself backed up against the wall as the student preceeded to get angry with me. It got ugly but with time our teacher student relationship stuggle back to respect. It was a very valuable lesson for both of us. I treasure this student and the experience I got from it.
What really puzzles me as I weigh the worse moments is when I see how going through tradegy with a stranger can bond you to them. Like I recently heard the story of an Australian mountain climber met up with a total stranger to climb. A normal mountain climb turned bad to worse as a rock fell on the Australian. (You really should hear the whole story. You would not believe what that Australian climber had to indure) The Aussie had to put his trust in a complete stranger to get him help. The stranger was sure that he would find his new climber friend dead. The Aussie was still alive but would lose his legs. These two strangers have this bond that sticks.
We know many stories of strangers going through tradegy together and they talk of this sticky stuff that keeps them friends. If strangers can have this through hard times, why can't lovers? why can't families? why can't deep friends? Wouldn't you want your most trusted loyalists to experience your worse?
I would!
Life and love is a messy thing. When you add humans to the mix, you have to expect messy times. Marriages has a contract that you sign your name up for better and for worse. Family is an unspoken agreement. When I have this inner sense of depth with another, I have agreed and signed up for better and for worse.
I have a deep friendship on a resperator. I am pumping the heart and giving my breath. Would it be any different if I would have voiced my commitment? I thought I did ...
So what is my payoff? What benefits are there to signing up for better or for worse?
*A bond so deep and strong that no one can understand but the two of you.
*Two people becoming one.
*A traveling partner that won't let you stumble without covering you.
*Someone to lean on in human form.
*Someone to validate your existence.
Ok, payoffs are in human measurement, but God made us to connect with each other. He wanted us to crash into each other. So I continue to whisper my commitment to God daily. He is my Source. Only by His Still Voice am I waiting ....
tank'en on love : lovemarked
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