2. you must support me as a ... team
3. you must get me
4. you must enjoy my stength .. physical and inside strength
5. i must have no doubt that you will find me if i would ever fall off the edge of the world
No, not asking a lot am I? But if you can support me as I go conquer my world, then you know the entrance into my inner sanctum!
This is a male voice. He is sorta stuck between going out there to conquer. He likes that freedom yet if he can also fight for his girl, he is a better man. He sometimes forget to lean into her support. He is the pursuer and it is not a good place for a female to pursue him. (She will not know where his heart is.) If he can feel that she values him and what he does with his hands, strength wells up from his heart. He is amazed at her openness to him. He feels like the luckiest guy. This inspires him to work on the marriage.
hers...
Thanks for your response, i'm sorry if i wasn't too clear and i didn't mean to be so blunt (having just read my comments again!!) I think you're very insightful in your comments. Marriage scares me at times, mostly that being married would be worse than being single in the sense that it must be heartbreaking to be in a lonely or conflict filled marriage. Also am hurting a bit at the moment due to a close friendship disintergrating and my friend behaving in ways i never would have ever expected. It's knocked my trust! People change even when you've known them a long time and been so close.
ReplyDeletePS. I hope you don't mind but can i ask how old you are?
Thank you, Lovely, for coming back and chatting with me. I am a listener. So don't worry about sounding blunt. With written language it is just like the spoken. I listened and didn't directly respond to your comment but I was thinking ... going deeper... responding through the entry and then to you directly ... a growing process so I greatly welcome your thoughts and questions.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on the marriage. Main reason for thinking about absolutes is that I do not want to be alone inside a marriage. I can do that well enough by myself! Plus, I hate conflict, too. Yes, a little is good but not a lot or I will cave into myself.
I have lost friendships. My trust in others has been damaged. I so feel that I am a hardworker at my relationships. So why do they leave me?
I love learning & discovering new things. I enjoy! All of this changes me. I call it growth. I had this one friendship that I was feeling myself grow and the other person did not. I kept trying to keep the friendship but it didn't work (I didn't leave the other person did). However, I began to see that I needed to be my own best friend. Sounds selfish but when you take care of yourself ... your mind, your body, your heart, and your soul ... you feel goood about yourself and about life.
I have been on this journey the later of 30-something years. My heart goes out to you. I may sound like I have it all together .... but I have very strong feelings .. I experience them ... and then I get back to work on loving me .... making sure I am the best me .... here are some of those feelings...
allies
the shove
just not into you
all by myself
i am sam
I appreciate your honesty with me and I hope you feel that I have cherished you and your thoughts. (((Lovely)))
all by myself
ReplyDeletesorry above link won't work ... this one will!
Yes, thank you keeper for cherishing me and where i'm at right now. I'm on a growing journey that often seems incredibly slow! I appreciate the thoughts you've shared and i can relate to so much of what you write (i guess that's why i'm drawn back!). I see in you such a gracious, gentle, encouraging and inviting woman, real and yet growing through your experiences - that is what i long for me to grow into. You have inspired me as a woman, thank you :-)
ReplyDeleteWow! Thank you! ... for your beautiful compliments!
ReplyDeleteI have gained from you as well. To know we all struggle and that we want to be vibrate women as we journey ... we want to age like fine wine.
We all have passions and a purpose for our lives. As women we are beautiful and captivating even when we can't seem to see it for ourselves. I have given up looking in the mirror for it. My vision fails me there.
On the other hand I have been looking into my passions. I have fallen in love with painting and writing. I am lit from the inside out. And I am finding others see it me too.
Sure, I desire to be loved ... to matter... to be in someone's top 10% .... but if that isn't in my journey, I am not going to waste any more time!
I got a lot of living to do! I got a lot of things I am passionate about! One thing I am very passionate about is our personal journeys as women. You have a lot to offer to the world. Be open to love but love yourself. (((Lovely)))
I hope you keep coming back. I love chattering with you. You have added to my blog .. revealing a deep deep need. Thank you!!!!!
(Think I will have to make a new word for my personal dictionary. I love 'blogging' with you!)
Thanks Keeper for your encouragements on life and living it... You've given me a lot of food for thought that is so relevant to me in my journey... thank you :-)
ReplyDeleteI was just wondering what deep need you have seen revealed?
*gulp!* What deep need have I seen revealed in my life? Where do I start? Just the word need for me is something I am quite unsure about. I know more about what I want. I find myself talking to God about what I want and asking Him what do I really need. But now thinking about it ... it is truly from what I want on my life journey that God has revealed and satisfied my needs.
ReplyDeleteMy basic wants are to have a great marriage and to matter. Reasons for these wants: I want to have a great life and walking with someone is much better than doing it alone. Plus, I want to matter if I do then I have left something behind when I leave.
My life journey is about the shy me ... the invisible me ... who has a lot of fire in her tummy. Have to add melancholy to the mix, too.
The deep need unveiled started with seeing the movie 'lt's a Wonderful Life' for the first time my freshman year of college. I went and saw it alone and couldn't wait to get back to my college dormroom and hide my tears under the bedcovers. I mattered! At that time those tears were sad tears. I did not understand them. Today in my livingroom is the sign 'lt's a Wonderful Life' my tears are happy.
For the past three years I have been in learning overdrive. I've been getting intuned to my passions .. my dreams. I had been seeking for so long that my one dream was dying(to write). So I have been throwing off what I have been hiding under and unearthing me.
Here is the unveiling: My deep need I've seen revealed is that what I am passionate about (painting, writing, creating) needs to be voiced. Those passions are a gift from God to use on my life journey. And I am finding it is exciting. I have a purpose. I am a woman (a beautiful woman inside). I may not be a traditional mother, but I am a life bearer (give life to a dream). I find it earthmoving when I see the human spirit fight to fly. I like to encourage that. I may not have a traditional husband to walk this life with but I have a God who is constant .. who never changes .. who never is absent ... who smiles when I delight in this life He has given me.
Simply....
my need revealed is that I do matter ... my life has a lot of joy and passion .... from my life I desperately want to listen and give encouragement... I have a need to cheer on beauty and the human spirit.....
*takes a breath* I hope this wasn't confusing. I sure do welcome the question. I have not asked myself that .... and I am not done with this question. It will sit with me as I go about my day tomorrow. I will smile and relish my life as I look back and see His footprints in my sand.....
Well, Lovely, great question.... are you looking for your need to be revealed? Don't get discouraged. Tell me your dreams, your longings, your wishes.... they tell a lot about the core of you. I think I can do a little guessing.....
Why did I use keeper for my blog? I want to be a keeper. Keeper of little treasures I have picked up along the way. And I want to be a keeper. I want people to treasure me. So I look at your name that you used. Lovely. I am sure without a doubt that you want to be Lovely. You want others to see you as Lovely. How is my guess? *welling up*
Huggggggggers (((((Lovely))))) Thank you for your question. I love questions they make me think. You are Lovely and don't forget it!!!!
Wow... what an amazing adventure you're living out! Yor words show how you've totally blossomed over these past few years. You give me hope... my journey over these past few years has been such a struggle and often seems so incredibly slow.
ReplyDeleteYou make life sound so beautiful, even in the hard stuff. I want to see the beauty, especially in the hard stuff but the reality is that I seem to have gone through a time of real struggling, wrestling, battling. It's not pretty or nice. It's dirty, painful, tough and excruciatingly hard at times. But God has put a warrior spirit in me, a spirit that will persevere. I am an overcomer in Him, it's just that overcoming isn't always very easy.
I guess a lot of my struggles have been about finding the real 'me' after many years of being in very controlling, manipulative and critical environments where other people have dominated 'me'. Little 'me' went into hiding young and so for many years i thought that those people were right and that was me but i came to realise that a lot of what people were saying wasn't really who i am. In many ways it's been a journey of brokenness of finding the real 'me' through a place of chaos and confusion and to then learn how to express who i am, to take responsibility for who i am, to be real with myself and others, rather than to live under other people's expectations. Tough.. as this meant certain changes that others didn't want to/couldn't accept. I don't know if any of that makes any sense? Looking back i see that i've come a long way, God is so gracious and compassionate, so faithful! And the journey continues....
I guess what i'm trying to say is that my journey is about searching out and thirsting for deep intimacy with the lover of my soul. Of being transformed into His image, of reflecting His heart, thought and purposes through my life. It's about finding my identity and purpose in God and living it. It's about beauty from the ashes, living life to the full (full of joy, peace, hope, love), about living free, about being real and vibrant within that...
You ask about my longings... I long for intimacy... with God (to be totally confident and at peace in who i am and who He says i am, and in really knowing Him and living in that place of total dependence on Him and enjoyment and delight in Him) ... with others (to love freely and to be loved freely for 'me', to be real and unafraid), ... i long to be a radiant, beautiful and captivating woman from the inside out, to be gracious, gentle, compassionate, kind and encouraging, to bring life, hope and peace, to have a spirit at rest (a lot of what i see in you, Keeper) ... i long to be fruitful and effective in my ministry and service to people, to stand with broken, hurting and desperate people, to help others find their strength in God (this is my heart but also where i feel so weak). Some of my pain is that since i've been on this journey to find and be the 'me' i was created to be i have found it much harder to reach out to others. Douglas Coupland said it so well when he wrote this:
"My secret is that I need God
That I am sick and can no longer make it alone
I need God to help me give
Because I no longer seem capable of giving
To help me be kind
Because I no longer seem capable of kindness
To help me love
As I seem beyond being able to love."
So thank you Keeper for sharing your treasure with me, your words are a reflection of your heart and you truly are a beautiful woman...
As for me... I am lovely because that's what my work colleagues call me (lovely followed by my name) but it's also deeper than that because it's what God says about me and i'm learning to live in my identity in who He has made me, and you're so right, it's also about who i really want to be from the inside out. I love the fact that is's what my colleagues call me because i see that God is giving me a reflection of Him there...
Truly and simply said....^ well done, Lovely!
ReplyDeleteThe purpose of our journey here on earth is to give over to the need of God in our life. Zeph 3:17 has opened up to me His Great Love. I affectionately call Him The Great Lover. Because He is the Master Artist and I have a lot to learn from Him, I look for Him. To me they have it wrong, God is never silent. I see Him in Nature and I see Him in a human spirit .... that warrior spirit *wink* ..... He knows what speaks to your soul ... what moves you ... and He romances you there. My favorite verse that has pulled me through the past three years is Ps 37:3-4. When I delight in Him, He takes care of my heart. I found that Joy is truly Strength -Neh 8:10. That is where my joy through the hard times come from.
But Lovely, who am I here to chatter on and on.... I see that you have it! I see that God has come through the journey with you. Love that warrior spirit you have. I often have a mental picture of mel gibson's blue face yelling. I chuckle and fight on!!!! *rereading your comments* Yes, you have it.
I am glad to find another warrior princess battling for the Heart of God. Sometimes it can feel like you are the only one that has overwhelming ache in your heart. Not alone! Not alone!
Keep on longing ... He meets you there. Wow! *rereading your longings* yessss yessss *speechless*
By you writing this out ... aloud .... if I am guessing correctly ... has been a growing experience for you. I am grateful to God that I found blogging. It has helped me 'exhale'. Writing for me is exercising my thoughts. Our conversation together here aloud even for others to read is giving.....
Lovely, you are a beautiful woman. Keep growing. Excercise Beauty...... Bravo Lovely!!!!
Thank you Keeper for cheering me on :-)
ReplyDeleteI love the version of Psalm 37:3-4 that you've got here.. It really brings out fresh understanding..
"Trust the Lord & do good. Dwell in the Lord & feed on His Faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the Lord & He will take care of your heart." Ps 37:3-4
I love the truth you've brought out that when we delight in Him, he takes care of our heart. And also that Joy can be our strength. How do you live in that strength giving Joy?
happiness vs. JOY
ReplyDelete.....^ think this will show how I discovered JOY as a strength......
happiness is earthy and of man. Joy is strength (Neh 8:10) and of God.
For each new year I decide on a theme that I want to have... after many years of doing so I just realized that I was inviting God meet me in my theme. The year 2003 was Joy. A few days into the new year I lost a job that was eating me alive. I was at a loss. I could choose to sit there and do nothing and watch everything cave in or i could move to what I can control.
Through out the year I 'look' for the theme. Usually these things find me like Ps 37:3-4. Every part of the verse speaks of action and delighting leads you straight to Joy. "I will give you the desires of your heart" is usually the last part of verse 4. I have always tripped up on that. God does not give you what you want but what you need. So really He takes care of your heart ....
Back to the action of the verse... I used that verse that year to give me action to keep moving. No matter what situation I was in, there was some part of that verse I could do. It is my most favorite of God's Word to me.... However, I am falling in love with more and more of His Word ... this is exciting to me.....
(((Lovely))))