All I had to offer was prayer. It was your birthday but I have no access to your life. From what I can tell is that you have shut down all means of approach. Latest word is to stop blocking the blessing. I have gone quiet ... outwardly. Privately the battle still seems to rage on. Will I ever give up and get on?
If prayer is as powerful as what God's Word says it is then why am I waffling? Prayer moves mountains. Prayer comforts a sad soul. Prayer brings joy. Prayer is a moving strength of confidence. Am I doubting that my prayer can move accross lands and seas to reach someone I once knew? Am I doubting that x would feel prayer wrapping around him? Am I doubting that x would go about his day unfazed by a feeling that someone is praying for him? Am I doubting that I can pray without selfish motive? Am I doubting that prayer can change me?
I do struggle with prayer. I pray to God every day. To others I am talking to myself. I have no other who listens and no other who can see what I cannot see. I find prayer a great help with my work. But often in my dreams and passions, I struggle with prayer. Why do I cry when I am praying? Why do I find grief? Is it because I am seeking my own will even though I try sooooo hard to seek God's? It is alright to have tears over people but for myself?
Will I get to know if x had a day that he could not explain other than someone prayed for him?
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