the enemy companion ...

I decided to take a time out before bed to read God's Love Letter. Feeling desperate and tears coming, I needed to climb into God's Strong Arms to feel safe and loved. In Psalms 55 there is a feeling recorded there. There was no telling me what to do or how to feel. It was perfect to know that God hears and understands what I feel.

King David is describing the enemy and how he is trouble, how he hides, how he depends on God. Then in the middle of it David is describing a different kind of enemy. This new one was once a verrrrrry close friend! He feels betrayed. He can't seem to grasp it. But an enemy is an enemy and King David puts his trust in the One and Only - God.

companion enemy:
12) If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me,
I could hide from him.

13) But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,

14) with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
as we walked with the throng at the house of God.

20) My companion attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant.

21) His speech is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords.

the Ultimate Companion
17) Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and He hears my voice.

18) He ransoms me unharmed
from the battle waged against me,
even though many oppose me.

22) Cast your cares on the LORD
and He will sustain you;
He will never let the righteous fall.

My enemy companion is a believer. He has deserted me. His voice captured in emails and memories is smooth. I believed we had sweet fellowship together and with our God. Yet the battle rages within me. God knows how I feel and He pulls me close. He knows that I feel like my feelings have been jerked around. Why come in and leave? Trust and faith have been questioned. But God will ransom me unharmed!!! He does not waste my tears, my frustrations, my pain, nor my sadness. He works all things for good even the ugly, He creates good. I still care about x. I don't think ill of him when I am strong (quirkysmirk!). What of that?

God is good to me. My feelings, my sweat, and tears - He heard them all and recorded them. He gently wipes my tears and hugs me close. AMEN!