as for me ...

Making God the apple of my eye via Psalms 17:8 made me go read the whole chapter. What really struck me was Psalms 17:14-15. It is a difficult read when you are reading through the NKJV so I went over to the NIV. At the beginning of verse 14 seems to be a hiccup that even trying to compare the versions didn't seem to iron out. However, I could not shake the feeling I had.

The underlying feeling is that you are looking at God's children whose bellys are full with His hidden treasure and to the point that this treasure overflows unto the children's children. But in the NIV verse 15 you see one who is on the outside looking in at those who are blessed with family. This one feels single and without the abudance of family and fullness.

O LORD, ... You still the hunger of those you cherish;
And whose belly You fill with Your hidden treasure.
They are satisfied with children,
And leave the rest of their possession for their babes.
As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.
~Psalms 17:14-15 mostly NKJV with a tiny bit of NIV

I fell in love with verse 15 because that is where I am in my life. Stuck here forever it seems. I don't want to be happy with this because I want more. I want a teamship. I am afraid that if I settle in, I will be this way forever and there will be no companionship. The better part of me says to be content and take on verse 15 as my theme. It does not matter. Keep the faith! No doubts...

*swallows - lump still stuck in throat / heart & soul bent on singing verse 15* One way or the other the lump stays or will be pushed out...