My life journey has been about how I learn and how others learn. I was a poor student in school and it took every bit of my education to slowly figure out that I indeed was a very smart cookie. No need to worry about me getting a big head. This life journey has not been easy nor is it easy now.
I have learned that to be smart you need a way to express yourself in your best way and even in the worst (like fighting). I have learned to express myself through writing - my strength. It gets my thought process hashed out in complete sentences instead of those dread flying fragments. Not until I had my blog where I could weld a virtual pen was I a complete person. All I could do was inhale and no exhale was making me burst at the seams with a chilling red hot anger. Now I am a bit more chilled and quite at ease with my thoughts. Being a true thinker becomes me.
However, when it comes to fighting, I run. I have been 'taught' badly from all my failures at fighting to keep relationships even with my truest and best intentions. Even now as I know my best way to fight (asking questions), I have no one to practice on who is safe to rehearse the precision knife skills needed to not harm or maim but to get to the heart of the matter to heal. Rather, it is like giants tossing about a ball just of my reach and I am running around trying to steal it away. Fighting alludes me. It is the 'last frontier' of being smart. I must accomplish this if I am fully smart.
Because I cannot isolate myself and become insular, I will sit and muse on 'random' (well ruminated and maybe a bit about the mulberry bush) thoughts and questions to pull the intended target in line and provoke them to thought without them realizing I am fighting... Make them do all the work!
To fight with out yelling and tears and separation ... ahhh bliss...
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