There are times when there is going to be a bit of stress in a relationship.... well, maybe a whole lot of stress. Sometimes a bit of heat is good for movement, but knowing how to decompress the situation or the person you love will allow for breathing room and not for combustion. I personally know that I would rather have a simple exhale than popping my top with all my insides splattered about. Way too messy for me. You do have to be aware of your partner's boiling point and know what works to depressurize. I, the Questioner, find that just asking the question "What would decompress or depressurize you in a stressful situation?" opens up a discussion that can work both ways.
There are times when there is going to be failure or melancholy in a relationship ... well, maybe a whole lot of down time. Sometimes a bit of mellow is good for reaching upwards, but knowing how to empower your loved one allows for value and worth to glow inside and bubble out making them a better person. The Questioner again isn't afraid to ask "What would empower you?", but for me other questions and discussions work to know what makes them feel valued. This would lead to a million different side trails. So, lets see if I can narrow it down... I think it is key to appreciate a man's actions and to appreciate who a woman is. Think verbs for men and think nouns for women. Simply put give genuine compliments and gratitudes. "You provide me love and a nice home. Thank you for all your hardwork for us." (ie: for a man) "You are a beautiful lover. You are my home, my safe place." (ie: for a woman) If this conversation and action was a part of our daily relationship life, man, our relationships would totally rock!
There are way toooooo many times that life pulls us apart from our relationships. Too many demands from the outside world like work or children drain what precious little time we have with each other. And for men they think they are built to do it alone (total myth, guys! sorry!). They are told often to be a man no tears. God created us women to be relational because He knew that it was not good for man to be alone. We must make connections. I think this comes from knowing their love language. Is it words, acts, touch, gifts, or time that makes them feel loved? It is a sure thing that if they feel loved they reach out. Just connecting .. doing things together .... rekindling the sparks of what first attracted you ... just plain romance is the real language of love. So why do loose this essential language? I think it was my father who said "if you don't use it you lose it." How true if we do not speak the language of love.
all she wants is to hold hands and look into his eyes ... knowing that they journey through life together ...... or it is not worth it....
make connections ... not distance
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