lame duck ..

ARgh! This is a calmer more my style of dealing with a conversation with an old high school friend who is Vietnamese and doesn't believe that God should be in every part of your life. She wants to talk politics and faith yet will not listen so the talk gets very elevated so much so that I told her that she had better change the subject more than one time before she finally did so. I dread her calls because it is such a fight. The only time I truly enjoyed our talk was the last time she talked about Nicholas Sparks because she fell in love with his books... So here is my cathartic response if I could since I am such a lame duck when it comes to 'fighting'.

I am sorry but my vote is my vote and I have the right to keep it to myself as this is a basic right that the government has given me. I don't even have to share with you what party I favor. Voting is my choice not what I think people in general might think or choose. My vote is not limiting the general thinking; it is just a vote of my choice in the direction I think and want my country to follow. I do not care if the general thinking that a woman has a right to choose whether or not to kill her baby by calling it abortion. It is my choice to honor life because God created life and like a master creating a masterpiece that masterpiece had better reflect the master. That is how I see life. I will not go with the general thinking that about pro-choice. I will honor God and respect life. I tried very hard to show you all aspect of this issue. Funny how you agreed with me that abortion was a selfish choice yet you continue to your barrage of it is the general thinking. Thinking about this makes me think you were trying to make me feel bad about my choice. When I could get no where with you, I told you that you had better change the subject. I do not 'fight' well at all because I come from a 'feelers' place or maybe I should say empathic. I am all over with my points and cannot make it tight and convincing. After I had the holiday weekend to feel upset and bad about the conversation, a radio preacher repeated a point that we christians tend to fight the symptoms instead of pointing to the solution. I told God that I don't understand why I keep failing with this old friend. Why else is she always calling me? Isn't God waiting to bear witness of Him to her?

I wish I could tell her that I refuse to strive with her because it is wrong for me to be of quarrelsome manner. No fire. No wood! I don't know how to pack pleasant words because she is always high pitch and I cannot function at that level. I don't know how to steer the conversation in such a matter that it doesn't focus on worldly symptoms but focus on the God-Solution. I know that my vote is not a solution but rather a voice of how I would like my government to be run. Remember this is suppose to be the government by the people and for the people but my vote is and will be govern by what I feel will honor God the most. It must not honor man. The founding fathers gave us the right to vote and they based every part of this government on God and His Word! This whole thing about faith and founding fathers would be lost on her because she Vietnamese and they believe in god through honoring dead relatives. I know she asks me about my politics and my faith because she doesn't know and understand and wants to - like she is always asking me English grammar. She isn't afraid to try with English but when it comes to politics and faith, she wants to be like others in general and I feel and know that politics and especially faith is personal. I really just need to be a lighthouse...

I kind of have a running conversation with God about having someone to hone my 'fighting' skills with. See, I used to have a great someone in my life who really knew how to bring out my thinking without getting me in a meltdown contention. That someone left and then I found a great book called Quiet Leadership that really helped me with myself but turning toward others, I am finding it harder to switch on even though I love asking question which is the whole point of Quiet Leadership where you ask questions to honor their thinking yet you make them do all the work so that you don't tell them what to do which I loathe so others would loathe too. Anyways that someone I think would have been a good one to practice with because he already has it without reading the book!

Maybe I am to forget about honing my fighting skills and be the lighthouse. Lighthouse never saved the day. It only shines -warning of danger....

Still figuring it out....