What I thought would be coming sometime over the summer with more time off and on and then total let go, came mid morning Friday, April 24th. That was the last day of work for me. There is more job losses yet with the plant still working and boats piling up in the front of the plant and in the back. When my mind goes back, it still baffles me.
My man boss did come in after and said how sorry he was and that it wasn't his discussion that there where other jobs that should have gone before me but his name isn't on the door. He also said that I was a good worker and that I did a good job and that was not the reason for the let go. He also said that whatever he said really doesn't help because those same words have been told to him and they didn't help. I did convey to him that I had really enjoyed working for him and this is truly honest because he has been the best so far.
The christian HR person who is a good friend of mine told her boss that she would not be the one to be in the room when they let me go. Minutes after she did come down with a card. I told her not to go so fast that I would like a hug. She gave me the best hug.
I did have to go to my female boss and ask her if she wanted to go over things before I left. I had been waiting for her to ask me but she didn't. Not sure what was up with that. My mom said that she wouldn't have been so kind (she is being the protective lioness here and I appreciate this). I told mom that I couldn't do that after the verses I gathered from the Word about being a good servant to my earthly masters. I did tell mom that I find it disturbing that no matter how much of a hard worker that I am that it depends on the style of getting the work done to whether someone was a good worker or not. I know my style greatly differ from the girl boss I have that came in after I had learned my post from another plant that we had consolidated. So when she takes over and she does her style then my style of things will only mean that I didn't do a good job. {sighs} But that is past and I am looking forward...
As I was leaving other girls in the office where quite shocked and now worried. They figured my job would keep me there longer. I did pay the bills and those invoices were coming in like crazy. Why they are still building boats is beyond me.... ok, I know forward thinking now.
To be really honest I was getting more and more frustrated with my job since last September. I also knew that if the things got worse, the job would get worse and I didn't know if I wanted to deal with it. I am a creative person stuck in a numbers job that was increasing becoming more confining. I didn't know what to do. My creative side gets really battered every time I try to make a go of it and it fails. I have been looking at this job direst as God working a way for my creative side to bring home the bread and butter.
My heart did bottom out and I had tears. I did get the mad feelings, the zombie feelings, the remembering feelings, the back and forth feelings, and the extreme feelings. All of this is part of the death process. However, these feelings do not rule my day. God has been preparing me because I have been seeking Him through these times. The sparrow at Thanksgiving, the FEAR NOT at Christmas, and even the self discovery of Amigurumi were my ways of 'talking back' God's Word to my feelings. Through all of this I find that we Christians do not TRUST God as we should. If we are truly believers we have to realize that to fear and to quake is a sin. Yes, we will feel these feeling but we stop it by SPEAKING ALOUD THE WORD OF GOD to these feelings. When you focus on this, God's Strength will expand in your life. It is ''forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.'' ~ Phil 3:13-14
I have been muttering under my breath often 'new beginnings' to shake myself from the behind things. It is all about getting that soapbox out and talking back the Word. It is a process and it is a battle but this battle is the Lord's! What verse in Psalms do I share now? There are sooooo many. I love King David's word - such a help in times of need. ''I will say of the Lord, 'He s my Refuge and my Fortress; My God, in Him I will TRUST.''' ~Ps 91:2
Are you trusting and obeying?
fear not
stress not
worry not
fret not
In every situation you are either going to believe the Word of God or the lies of the evil one.
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