She is this wierd mix of fire and quiet. There were the years where she was banished to her bicycle and her books for companionship. She felt a kinship to Anne of Green Gables. Anne loved her books and her imagination. She drank up Anne's dramatic antics feeling those feelings inside but never able to live it.
There were the years where she just tried to survive as a wallflower. She didn't want other teenagers to look at her and see the clothes that did not fit. When her parents went to parent teacher conferences, the teachers could not remember their daughter. "Oh, she must not be a problem then," was the comment her parents brought home. Not great news when even her teachers couldn't remember her. Oh, if she had the nerve, she should have introduced herself to the teacher! No, she was quiet because she was taught respect.
There were the years she studies up the on self. Wondering why she was such a wierd person that no one really saw the depth of her heart. Amazing that she did not pick up some habit to fill this void. She probably could credit the fire that is always brewing inside keeping her breathing and alive.
There were the years where she finds her ears ringing when she goes home after a family gathering. Everyone chattering on about news of everyday happenings, yet no one heard a peep from her. Some extended family members would make a remark about her futher excluding her. Oh, if she had the nerve, she might just have twisted the comment back to hurt them. No, she was quiet she was taught to honor her elders.
There were the years where she is trying to find her place as a woman. Is she beautiful enough? Will someone ever love her fire? Will someone ever acknowledge her passions and dreams? Will she be enough to love? Will someone ever see how amazing smart she is and not run from it? Will anyone know she how hard she loves? Will she succeed in her dream being heard?
Through out all the years she just wanted enough attention but she was given disregard. She has struggled with knowing how to live this wild mix of fire and quiet. She still has the fire and she has learned the worth of her quiet nature. Yet, she still struggles....
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