social isolation ...

Some call it social isolation or disconnectedness. Often, it's just plain loneliness.

An age-old ailment, to be sure, and yet by various measures -- census figures on one-person households, a new study documenting Americans' shrinking circle of intimate friends -- it is worsening.

It seems ironic, even to those who are affected. The nation has never been more populous, soon to reach the 300 million mark. And it has never been more connected -- by phone, e-mail, instant message, text message, and on and on.

Yet so many are alone in the crowd.

*The trend toward isolation surfaced in the last U.S. census figures, which show that one-fourth of the nation's households -- 27.2 million of them -- consisted of just one person, compared with 10 percent in 1950.

*an authoritative study in the American Sociological Review found that the average American had only two close friends in whom they would confide on important matters, down from an average of three in 1985. The number of people who said they had no such confidant soared from 10 percent in 1985 to nearly 25 percent in 2004; an additional 19 percent said they had only one confidant -- often their spouse.

*single adults 35 to 60
"Once single people reach this age they don't have a community. They don't really have a place to go where they can share their hopes and dreams."

*"Once someone gets divorced, they tend to lose their married friends. It's not a stigma thing; it's an awkward thing -- 'Oh, you're single now, and we do married things."'

*Having a spouse and children doesn't insulate adults from bouts of loneliness; one particularly vulnerable subset are parents confronting the empty-nest syndrome as their children reach young adulthood and leave home.

*"A lot of college students go through periods of loneliness," said Zanny Altschuler, 20, of Menlo Park, California, who is completing her freshman year this summer at Dartmouth College in Hanover, New Hampshire.

*"It's a very lonely existence -- most of the time the loneliness can be excruciating and painful," says the 84-year-old widow from San Francisco, California. "I have very few friends. They're either ill or they've passed away or moved somewhere else."

*"People are less connected to their neighbors today, and they miss that," Crowley said.
fr: lonely nation

This is the way; walk in it ~Isa 30
My way has been aloneness. Not really by choice and sometimes it is because after trying so hard and failing so deeply it is easier to find solace in books or a bike or painting or writing. I have been that little child where I was excluded from playing ball by my own sibling. So I choose to ride free on my blue bike. I have been the awkward tweenie and teenager that failed at making and keeping friends so I would loose myself in books. I have been the college student spending time in the library because others had dates. I have been twenty something and trying to read up on all the relationship books trying to fix me. I have been the thirty something making friends online and even those blow up. Lately my fix has been painting and writing ... oh yes, books too.

Deep within I am a fighter and I have tried and tried to be a good friend, tried to be more social, and tried to engage life. And that is where I am at ... engaging life...

I am a quiet person and need some quiet peaceful times but when I have had that time I make myself go engage in life. An aching fear in the darkest corner of my mind is when I am vintage. If I struggle now with isolation, how am I going to combat that when generation ahead of me and even my own generation begin to leave me?

I know I will continue to fight this even when I feel so alone in this fight. I get it. I am super sensitive to this because I have lived it and continue to live it... I will continue to do something about it. I know it is baby steps but I hope to look back someday and see the progress I have made.

where did all the friends go

go make a basket