Sunday, March 05, 2006

how long, O Lord?

No Hope breaks the heart.

Dearest Loving Husbandman,
I am rereading a book I read back in '91 on waiting. I understand the waiting and I know it is a necessary must for a journey. Really a journey is movement so waiting is not really standing still. Ps 27:14 "Wait on the Lord, be of Good Courage & He will streghten thine heart'' has been a comfort yet as I look at my life it has been entirely made up of waiting!

''Rejoice in the Hope of the Glory of God because we know that suffering produces tenacity; tenacity, character; and character, hope'' (Rom 5:2-4). I changed out perseverance with my favorite word tenacity. Which then pricks my heart. I feel that I am tenacious, very tenacious! Are You saying that I need more tenacity .. more standing firm ... more protecting my willspring? Yes, I do have work to do here. Am I to stay tenacious in waiting for my 'johny cash' to come back? Ok, I can do that but am I doing so in vain? Is he going to come back? Or will I behold his face in Heaven with sad eyes? One more thing ... about marriage ... my ideals of marriage have become so rich that pretty soon no human male will ever live up to such a wonderful gift and mirror of You. So are telling me that my journey will remain a single journey?

I know soooo many questions. What I know very deeply is that I am more in Love with You each day. I want to continue drawing closer to You. Looking full into Your Face, You are my Hope. My heart breaks but grows back stronger by Your Healing Hands. You are tenderly forging my tenacity, my charactor, and my hope with the fire of wait. How rich I am. How valued in Your eyes. Thank You for Your Nailed Pierced Hands. I may weep but You comfort me with each tear that falls. I love You!
~ always your little girl


provoked by the intro to "Waitng'' by Bob Patterson

layers: wait

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