seeds of men ...

... said Gimli. ''It is ever so with the things that Men begin: there is a frost in Spring, or a blight in Summer, and they fail of their promise.''

"Yet seldom do they fail of their seed,'' said Legolas. ''And that will lie in the dust and rot to spring up again in times and places unlooked-for. The deeds of Men will outlast us, Gimli.''

Interesting that man fails sooooo often, yet in our attempts and failings seeds are left behind. Seeds of courage, grace, peace ... etc that will spring up again....

''We cannot achieve victory by arms, but by arms we can give the Ring-bearer his only chance, frail thought it be.''

''Other evils there are that may come; for Sauron is himself but a servant or emissary. Yet it is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have a clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.''(Gandalf)

I see this in Iraq. We may never achieve the victory of taking out the Terror, but by arms we can give those who want freedom and peace a chance. In fact it isn't just limited to Iraq ... whatever evil is before us by spiritual warfare, we hold up the arms of Moses and give victory a chance.

I love that I found Tolkein's writings an insight to the darkness in the land.
quotes taken from the chapter "the Last Debate" from ''The Return of the King'' ~ Tolkein

Dearest King of kings,
All rulers must come into Your courts for the accounting of their leadership. As I watch how Saddom sits there with a smug face, my stomach curls. As I see Iraq on the edge of something good or something evil, I hold my breath.

However, I cannot see the undercurrent .. God-Current. I know the history and I know the future. Fear fades. Your Rule is just. I wait on You, expectant of Your Great Things.
~ always strengthen in waiting with eyes on You, your little girl

mountains moved ...

* Bob Pearson was at the crossroads of his life trying to determine what to do next in ministry. He tells of a dream where he is in water waist high. No real panic but when he views the horizon there is nothing but water. That is when his gut began to twist. Then behind him he heard water moving. He turned to look to see and behold it was Jesus walking in the water. Yes, in the water because Jesus always is in the midst of things even in our storms. Jesus said like He always had said, ''I know you want to see what is on your horizon, but you need to see Me on your horizon.'' Bob Pearson woke at 3:31AM with this verse "Walk by Faith not by sight.''

* Balanced Faith
Yes, faith too must function best with our intellect, our emotions, our physical being, and our will, or there will be engine failure. A total crash and burn ...

* Mountains Moved
Q: If faith of the mustard seed moves mountains, is Jesus talking about the smallness of faith or is He talking about the potency of faith!!!!???

In Matthew 17:14-23 tells of Jesus healing a boy with seizures. The disciples asked Jesus why they couldn't heal the boy. Jesus said, ''Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move ...' Nothing will be impossible for you.'' If you go back a few pages to the parable of the mustard seed (matt 13:32) you see how potent this small seed is: 'Thought it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches.' One mustard seed favors the whole pot of rice!
fr: today's sermon by Bob Pearson

Dear Mountain Mover,
You quicken my heart as the children in Africa said in my own language how alone they were. Aids have taken away their parents and have infected them. You have been teaching me as a single girl about the mother instincts you gave every female creation.

I just viewed and picked up a girl. I just spiritually adopted a girl to love and pray for. Thank you for bringing her to my life. You Moved a Mountain before I even could think about it ... my own heart. Now to Mountains Moved in this young girl's life... "... to hear the barbarian call, to form a barbarian tribe, and to unleash the barbarian revolt. Let the invasion begin ... '' (tBW).
~always your little girl

crash op: horizon international

of a man's hard work / olympic spirit ...

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. ~ Theodore Roosevelt (1912 speech at Sorbonne, Paris)

Joey Cheek, the American Flag bearer in the Closing Ceremonies for giving his award money for winning gold in speed skating ... to .... , showed his olympic spirit by keeping his pact with himself. Way to go Joey! I will remember your giving spirit and teamship ...

enbraceable you ...

I am not a hugger. Just wasn't something I needed ... in my growing up days. However, it has haunted me through out my existance. I sadly remember pulling away from my dad when I was a teenager. I don't like people in my space either. Argh! I jump or step back then I kick myself when I got myself alone. As my journey has mellowed me out ... well sort of!, I am more embraceable ... ! I hope!!!! =D

At church I have two wise women who would hug me instead of the usual shaking of hands. Inside my head I said, "Well now, from now on these two will never shake my hands again, only hugs from now on!" It was sort of a playful defiance that became a truly loving touch.

Don't think I am callous! I just wanted to hear how I was special to my parents or siblings. Hugs didn't satisfy and where sometimes awkward. Hugs where most inviting when I was extremely sad and hurt from the world. I remember a really rough trip away from home. I could not wait to return to the hugs from my Mom and Dad. Another time in college I had had it with my roommate. Only the hugs from Mom and Dad could give me strength to continue. So just the causal hug still seems foreign to me.....

However, these days I am employing hugs to reach out where I can't seem to connect where I would like. I love my Dad. I always look up to him. We fail each other because I don't like to have debates and he loves them. I just was feeling bit lost between us. This year subconsiously, I have been hugging Dad every time we are together. I just happened to realize my actions and now have made it a conscious one. I do think he started it ... but I am going to keep it up! If an enbrace can change the connection I have with my wise women, it can strengthen the connection I have with my dad with out the need to debate!

I do think my next step will be writing notes to Dad. While making my desk drawer a party to open everytime (cleaning and organizing), I happened to find a birthday note he had written to me back in my college days. I remember the cake, too! It was chocolate!!!!! I have a few of his notes tucked through out my house. What a beautiful embraceable way ... huggers and words!!!

XX Olympic Winter Games February 10-26, 2006

Torino: passion lives here



torino '06

opening ceremonies, Feb 10th
red, white, lots of white, white, oh, I said white!, humans making a pulsing heart, fire, lots of circles and spirals of fireworks, humans making alpine figure skiing, opera, fearie, fashion, alps dresses, humans making doves, huge olympic rings, the fire!, beautiful!!!!!!

winners
Flying Tomato lighthearted playful winner's spirit, the Chinese girl pair skater who fell and got up to finish her skate, Joey Cheek, Ted Ligety, Toby Dawson ... just watch each America on the podium as the athem is played ... their face turn to tears, to joy, and back.. their face is never still

Winter Olympics are never under the best of circumstances. Winter Olympians must fight against the slippery ice, snow, fog, and blinding snowfall. When they make it through the tough conditions, their adventure or win is sweeter. The best making their best in the worst of it makes the olympic spirit take fire.

it's nerves ...

She doesn't know how he thinks that there is anything more. She just wants to be nice nothing more. He is nice, too. What she does notice that she is nerveous and not giddy.

Outwardly it looks the same but inside she knows of a time and a person that felt right. Giddy yet a security was there. She wasn't afraid of the loving feelings inside.

This time the rocks are close and the glare of the Lighthouse blinds her...

a hand to hold onto ...

The health buzz of late is how the act of hand holding makes for a healthy couple and a healthy marriage. The neat twist that I heard on the radio was when this girl and her boyfriend start to fight, they hold hands. Much harder to fight that way she says. (Tucking that in my heart for laters!)

I know of someone whose love language is touch. Being from the word(pix) love language, I would often ask and take in what touch meant to that person. (I think we have all 5 love languages in us somewhere... some are just dormant or just plain o' shy!) So to those who needs words like me, listen to what hand holding says:

Holding Hands:
... says "I am glad you are right here in this moment. You are my choice and I am grateful that you choose me back. A soft womanly hand tucked in a weathered manly hand tells of pure acceptance of nature and nuture. Often only silence is hand holding's companion. No need for talk when a hand is holding a hand ... the touch says it all. I love you completely!"

thoughts on dance ...

Q: Why is dance coming back?

A: Everyone needs to embrace & be embraced.
A: The steps are cheap ... the joy priceless.
A: The energy comes from the center, up & out.

ROMANCE (verb)

... is a celebration of love between two
... a celebration of adventure & journey
... a celebration of a Warrior & a Beauty
... a celebration of God!

romantic:
idealistic, dreamy, impratical, loving, passionate, tender

opposite of:
mundame, dull, colorless, characterless, ordinary, commonplace

After some discovery here, my favorite word for romantic is color. What color do I want to splash upon my life and upon those I love? Would it be a deep blue or a soothing blue? Would it be a blushing deep red? or a royal rich purple? Isn't romance enjoyment and delight of the God-Gifts all around me? Isn't the gleam of my eye and curl of my smile purely celebrating the moment? I think so!

word sleuth: relationship

RELATIONSHIP (adj / noun)

*presence
*belief
*endurance
*attention
*trust
--------------------------------
= respect, worth, & value.

*** I bet my life on this: there will be an accounting of our relationships and our treatment of others.
***Your face should light up when your loved one walks into the room.
***A relationship is a place and a compliment...

word sleuth: love

who is missing ...

... = God's attendence!!!

*people today crave the gift of attention

*give what you have

*why don't we gush about God like we do about our children or our spouse?

*"For since the creation of the world God's Invisible Qualities - His Eternal Power and Divine Nature - have been clearly see, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.''
~ Romans 1:20

*Stop doing God's work and just pray for blessings. God let's it rain on the just and unjust. He is 'crazy like that. He will do anything to touch our lives whether through pain or joy.
fr: today's sermon

Dear Heavenly Father,
You created man so You wrote on the hearts of every man the message of His Eternal Power and Divine Nature. This gave me hope as I pray for two teenagers who have yet to let this seed awaken in their lives. To You who counts the empty chairs at Your Tabe, I know my heart aches. Yet, how much more Your hearts aches. I feel my attempts are soooo lame but I keep vigil. I don't know how long my heart will hold on, but You are my Hope. I will continue to pray for Your Blessing on them.

Thank You for this Encouragement to know the Message is written on the hearts of ones I care about yet I struggle with how to tell them about One so precious to me. I am on the edge here ... 'prayers of showers of blessings' ... Thank You for preparing this lesson for my heart ... my gift of attention ... I can do that....
~always your little girl

8* Below ...

''you will take risks for those you care about''
This movie was off the charts for me. It made me cry and it made me quite frustrated with how little we trust our God-Given guts and how little we really appreciate the furry creatures God has given us.

All eight dogs Mya, Max, Jack, ....... should receive Oscars! (wish I could remember all of their names!) It was two story lines intertwined. The dogs were of survival and of connection and the man learning to take risk for those he loved and if his dogs didn't make the months to return for them was earned for their place and love in his life.

note:
I couldn't help but notice that the blue in Max's eyes where the same blue in Jerry's (guide) eyes. The connection is real because they both had some learning to do. ''you will take risks for those you care about'' will you risk for those you love?

movie review: firewall

developing thy graces...

Shew me wherefore Thou contendest with me.
~ Job 10:2

Perhaps, O tried soul, the Lord is doing this to develop thy graces. There are some of thy graces which would never be discovered if it were not for thy trials. Dost thou not know that thy faith never looks so grand in summer weather as it does in winter? Love is too often like a glow-worm, showing but little light except it be in the midst of surrounding darkness. Hope itself is like a star -not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity. ...

It was but a little while ago that on thy knees thou wast saying, "Lord, I fear I have no faith: let me know that I have faith." Was not this really, though perhaps unconsciously, praying for trials?-for how canst thou know that thou hast faith until thy faith is exercised? Depend upon it, God often sends us trials that our graces may be discovered, and that we may be certified of their existence.

Besides, it is not merely discovery, real growth in grace is the result of sanctified trials. God often takes away our comforts and our privileges in order to make us better Christians. He trains His soldiers, not in tents of ease and luxury, but by turning them out and using them to forced marches and hard service. He makes them ford through streams, and swim through rivers, and climb mountains, and walk many a long mile with heavy knapsacks of sorrow on their backs.

Well, Christian, may not this account for the troubles through which thou art passing? Is not the Lord bringing out your graces, and making them grow? Is not this the reason why He is contending with you? ~ Spurgeon

Dear Heavenly Father,
Graces? Wow, it is sure painful to be full of grace and graceful in living out my life journey. Yes, I have always wanted to be more graceful so yes, I have asked for this pain in my life ... I so didn't know. As I am humbled by this pain, I know the birthing process brings forth the gift of beauty and grace. I too, step into Your Everlasting Arms, my Rock and let out my barbaric yelp ...' "Let not your heart be troubled. I will never leave you nor forsake you!" thus saith my Lord! '

I will wait on You, oh Lord and be encouraged by Your Preparing and Providing, and by Your Proof and Presence. Through the pain my heart strengthens and grows back bigger! Thank You for contending with little ol' me!!!
~ always Your little tried soulful girl
His Words: john 14:1 & heb 13:5

Swindoll: leaning

firewall ...

I would give this movie a 10 rating. Of late the movies have taken a different way so it is quite refreshing to be able to go to a purely classic adventure. Harrison Ford sure did not disappoint. Guys will love it, but the girls will too.

In short a male who is domesticated and has achievement in his business world is taken through the paces of idenity theft to steal money from the bank he protects with his family in the line of fire. You are on the edge of your seat though out the entire movie. You are rewarded as he the good guy protects and preserves his family while taking down the bad guys.

effects:
When the movie begins the sound is tunnel like. The visual is black and white photo shoots with lines like shreds of paper. I loved it. Great effect.

note:
I being a dog lover to the very core must tell you that the family dog does not get hurt in the movie. I had my concerns but they were unfounded.

movie review: Walk the Line

create what I want ...

* I want security, presence, freedom, teamwork, full acceptance, monster smiles, eye twinkle, encouragement ...

* I want to be inviting, trustworthy, valued, a free spirit, romantic, creative, captivating, loveable ...

Dearest Creator & Shephard,
I have been struggling and released I need to get back to my old lessons You so patiently taught me. I don't want to fall back in old ways. My footing is slipping and I need Your Rescue. I invite You to secure me again...

Great Shephard, I don't want fear to take hold so I turn back to You. I turn my eyes upon You. It is You that I want...
~always your little girl

layers: creating what we fear

LOVE: (verb)

--preparing, providing, proving, & PRESENCE

ie: God's Sacrifical Love that will not let you go. His Love preparing the way, providing your daily needs, and proving Himself every moment of every day and never leaving or forsaking you...!!!

What a powerful example of LOVE to live by!

word sleuth: prayerwalking

creating what we fear...

* say it like it is .. NO LIES
I thank God for bringing you into my life. I found someone who shared my faith and my backwardness. I think we both felt validated in the eyes of each other. I enjoyed you. I felt you pull me closer to God and it was the first time a male peer allowed my love of God spill out. Not that I did before, but the growth was overflowing. I miss those days. I miss your voice. I often wonder how your dreams are coming along. I do feel a lot about you, but I know for me absence is wrong. It gives off a bad message.

* self hatred makes you pull away - imbalance & fear seem more like it but these two can lead to self hatred...Pulling away to create balance isn't the way to go. I have been in holes where I didn't know how I was going to get out. A phone call from my brother or my mother has chased the blackness away. Getting tackled by my pupinators, gives me a giggle and I am better. No not cured but better. A way to get back to my journey.

* What are you afraid of? What you are afraid of, you turn around and create it!
This is a powerful statement to me! In fact it scared me! I have had strong feelings of your mistrust. No, it wasn't directed to me but to womanhood. I don't think you would truly admit that to me, but I could really feel it. You have pulled away. I sence you aren't coming back nor giving a reason for it. However, it cannot be denied that you pulled away. Whatever the real truth .. you turned around and created more imbalance..

I still truly care. I am still here. Come back. I never gave you reason to doubt that I would turn you away.

'in God we trust'

Can you believe it? Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin were born on the exact same day, February 12, 1809, but their lives had completely different effects. Lincoln is best known for freeing the slaves by issuing the Emancipation Proclamation, affirming that all men are equal. Darwin is best known for the theory of evolution, arguing that all men are not equal because some are more evolved. Darwin's theory has be used by atheists to explain away belief in God, whereas the last act of Congress signed by Lincoln, before he was shot, was to place the phrase "In God We Trust" on all our national coin.
fr: American Minute newsletter with Bill Federer, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com

Amazing how one life can change and pave a new and better way for others. We are created relational beings ... What an Amazing Creator! I bet Lincoln was so humbled and pained in his life that he didn't see how his life would impact America ... well, not until the Heavenly Father took him in His Everlasting Arms, opening the portal between Heaven and earth, and said "See how My Plan was working in you..."

for all the betters .. for all the worsts ...

for Better & for Worse
is not exclusive to just marriage. This is for all the journeys and adventures of life. This is for all the important people in your lives and even for those people you touch ever so slightly in this journey. This is for those dreams and those passions that are your spice and sweets in your life.

Have you taken stock of the betters and worsts in your journey? You might want to rid the pain but you probably wouldn't change the outcome. Have you taken stock of the betters and worsts in your relationships? You might want to change the person but you probably wounldn't change the richness of your own charactor as you found connection with each other. Have you taken stock in the betters and worsts in your dreams and passions? You might want to redo but you found new paths and better conquests.

absence is good-bye ...

If you aren't saying Hello, you are saying Good-bye.
Why would you leave a good thing? Aren't you worth more than taking yourself out of the picture? Isn't there something wrong about being out of balance? Shouldn't taking care of how you relate to others be in your best interest? What happens when you finally come back and the good thing is gone? Don't you ever think it was to be. You destroyed it by walking away ...

free speech ...

Give Respect. Earn Trust. ~k
It is sicking to see the world inflamed. Every human deserves respect even if their beliefs are a complete opposite of mine. If I provoke them, how will I ever get them to listen.

One of the highest morals in all the world is Give Respect. Earn Trust. It is the essence of love and peace. Back in the teaching days I was told I had to earn respect. My spirit bucked at the idea and I still hold to this day that respect is given ... it is trust that needs to be earned.

How will ever get the muslims to trust us now? It will take a long long time ...

a full cup ...

To have a good foundation in a relationship both people need to be full cups. If one is half full, the other will spend their time filling the other one up. Then who is left to fill the cup who empties out...
pieces of an overheard conversation

Dearest Beloved,
I never thought I would feel like the full cup. I am feeling a bit bewildered here. What happens when you believe sooooo strongly in the him and yet you have no clue what is going on with him because he has withheld himself from you? I am having huge doubts...

As I have come here to my space and let it all out to You and to myself, I have left a little trail to here. He can choose to find it. What will happen when he reads it or will he even come back to us? Will he see that I have tried to be gentle with him as it is his journey? Will he understand my raw and very candid emotions as this is my journey too?

Is this book a farse? Is the formula wrong? Am I holding onto something that will never be true for me? What is up with failed friendships in my life? What am I missing from this pattern?

I am grateful for feeling like a full cup still wanting more so that I can be overflowing. You have been so patient with me and my slow learning. Things that I don't have that I have dreamt about for my future, You kept in Your safe keeping as I needed other things first. I needed to set up my home for growing confidence. I needed all these years to develop joy and prayerkeeping. I am much more of who I was to be. Thank You.
~ always your little girl

carrying the mat ...

A man paralize from by inadiquate love from his childhood and from his journeys of adulthood was being carried by a woman, her mother, and her friend in prayer on a mat. The woman knows Jesus is in town and He call heal this paralyric heart.

They reach the crowded house. No one will let them enter. They climb their way up to the roof. They lay the mat down and set to work on tearing a hole. Their plan is to lower the man on the mat in front of the Healer. As the roof gave way the woman turned back to the mat, but the man was gone! Tears poured and heat engulfed her face. Then through her pain she hear the soft voice of Jesus. She looked into the deepest eyes ever and felt safe. His arms reached up and He beckoned her to come. She jumped...

Everlasting Arms surrounded her as she buried her face into His shoulder. He understood every tear she shed. ''My child, don't be ashamed for carrying the mat. This is an act where your faith will grow. You seek My Proof and I will Prove Myself over and over again to you. Just like the butterfly effect of Me telling the same Story over and over again in My Living Word, there is a butterfly effect in Proving Myself over and over to you every moment of every day. That is how Great My Love is for you. Go forth in deeper faith. Go find your paralyric man and keep bringing him back. One day he will allow himself to be lowered to Me. Even though he is My Child and his name is written in My Hands, he is still learning to trust real love. He doesn't know it in human form. Take My Love and keep adminstering this Love to him. Your heart is weak, yes I know, keep Prayer-Waiting. Keep watching Me Prove Myself to you; this is My Encouragement to you. Good Courage makes your heart grow strong...''
interacting w/ Luke 5:17-26
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
tidbit: Americans are the loneliest out of all other cultures. {!!!!!!!}

4 levels of connecting
*public
*social
*personal (to share & carry each others troubles & wounds `ie: james 5:16)
*intimate (naked truth & no shame `ie: gen 2:25)

image management = controling what other see of us
my personal interaction with today's sermon

boiling anger ...

On friday her workmate in the office she shared went to the boss and basically got her into trouble over a silly piece of job. Anger so violent boiled in her cheeks. She remained quiet but deep inside she vowed never to let this happen again... As that vow was being made her spirit pricked.

Later in the evening a quote came her way saying: ''We're never weaker than when we are angery.'' ~ dr phil She shot back, ''But this anger comes from being shamed and it was unjust! This is my work and I do it well. I can't give her it or I will have nothing to do. She doesn't work in teamwork rather she is combatent and dominant. I am my own person and I need my personality to be established away from hers. She isn't nice and I don't want that splashed onto me.''

After a night sleep she awoke to a plan to gentlely go to her boss and fight for her job. She whispered an invitation to her Creator for peace and gentleness in her words, time for her to speak with her boss in the morning, and for the ears of the boss to hear.

Realizing that her anger had disapated, she rejoices in the Hand of the Lord upon her nasty vow. He took away her desire to run and hide. She tasted His Peace when she invited His Plan.

my stresses ...

*defending myself to others
*explaining myself
*being laughed at
*noise
*lies / faking it
*being misrepresented / being misintrepreted
*lack of listening
*inattention
*trying to be heard

All I can do is move to what I can control which is live full bloom

the balanced life ...

... considers both physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. Not one should be more important than the others ... nor should one to the exclusion of the others.

pain a good gift?

... hmmm, an interesting question to ponder...

I have to say yes, pain is a good gift and of course a painful journey. It is the birthing canal into more of who you are suppose to be. I have found my pain to be milestones and epiphanies. Treasures that after the hurt I know that I am so changed I promise never to forget and revert back to the old me.

Truely painful to blossom but so worth it!