* say it like it is .. NO LIES
I thank God for bringing you into my life. I found someone who shared my faith and my backwardness. I think we both felt validated in the eyes of each other. I enjoyed you. I felt you pull me closer to God and it was the first time a male peer allowed my love of God spill out. Not that I did before, but the growth was overflowing. I miss those days. I miss your voice. I often wonder how your dreams are coming along. I do feel a lot about you, but I know for me absence is wrong. It gives off a bad message.
* self hatred makes you pull away - imbalance & fear seem more like it but these two can lead to self hatred...Pulling away to create balance isn't the way to go. I have been in holes where I didn't know how I was going to get out. A phone call from my brother or my mother has chased the blackness away. Getting tackled by my pupinators, gives me a giggle and I am better. No not cured but better. A way to get back to my journey.
* What are you afraid of? What you are afraid of, you turn around and create it!
This is a powerful statement to me! In fact it scared me! I have had strong feelings of your mistrust. No, it wasn't directed to me but to womanhood. I don't think you would truly admit that to me, but I could really feel it. You have pulled away. I sence you aren't coming back nor giving a reason for it. However, it cannot be denied that you pulled away. Whatever the real truth .. you turned around and created more imbalance..
I still truly care. I am still here. Come back. I never gave you reason to doubt that I would turn you away.
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