search for meaning ...

Here I go AGAIN ... but it is my journey and I am admitting to wrestling with my God and this journey of abandment or singlehood ... whatever word works best. A name of a book made its perch in my head. So off to the library I went to find it. As thoughts twirled about, what do I see at a church on my book trip? A car decorated with just married in the rear view mirror. Yeah, like that will ever happen in my life! No, I don't care about the wedding ... it is the journey of two people traveling this life adventure together is what I think I was made for and has eluded me.

Happy to find my book, my thoughts are that I am NOT finding another self help book in finding true love. Rather the reading of this book is to live more FULLY my single life. I have prayed that God would shut off this want to be on a team of two. He said no. I would love to go about my life unafraid and without care of this need that burns inside. He said no. He said that empathy is a gift He gives and Love is the fuel of life.

What you focus on expands. So my focus is going to shift to loving those who are brought into my life. My team will be God and I. (About abandment? He is still cherished in my heart and I will still be here... He was a good gift that came into my life ... huge doubt that is goodbye forever ...)

'' ... as a single adult you want to feel loved by the significant people in your life. You also want to believe that someone needs your love. Giving and receiving love is at the center of the single adult's sense of well-being. If you feel loved and needed, you can survive the pressures of life. Without love, life can becaome exceedingly bleak.

Love is the fundamental building block of all human relationships. It will greatly impact our values and morals. ... love is the most important ingredient in the ... search for meaning.
fr: "The Five Love Languages for Singles" by Gary Chapman

loving (an action) => meaningful life