Well, I did it … not sure that I want to admit to this but I have been upset for so long about this guy who chooses to be absent in my life. A couple of years ago I tried out the personality profile on eharmony to see if what I was feeling inside about myself was accurate. I revisited last night to round out my profile but really to aerate the darkness I feel.
I already have a formula set in the deepest part of my heart to know the future Mr. Keeper when he comes walking into my world. It is a life philosophy of sorts and it fits quite well with what I want and need.
I am most proud of my listening to God’s voice when I was friends with this absent man. When I look back, I know I gave the best I could. I thought I wasn’t hearing God’s voice about this guy recently, but I very sure that He has been saying ‘wait’… The most recent whisper to wait was from a co-worker. We were in a discussion of failed marriages. His one comment stopped me: “People give up way too quickly. There are parts in a human heart that no book or no therapy session is going to fix only God can unlock and it might take awhile. The other person has to be empty of trying to fix and simply wait.”
I have been hurting a very long time. I refuse to let anyone even absence take way my journey of joy. I am emptying out my hurt and getting back to the basics of my personal journey. I choose to create passion by falling deeper in love with my infatuation of paint and words.
So why go back to eharmony and fine tune my profile especially since I probably won’t subscribe? Because I have traveled a rough road these pass few years and there are things I know for sure. I saying them aloud for myself … aerate to breathe… to grow back my heart bigger and better … Life is a journey and it is good to see others of substance on good paths … a form of encouragement …
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