Wow! It is here and I am doing ok! That is a sigh of relief.
I have been wondering how I will deal with the middle ages of my life. There is a culture where everyone wants to get to 40 because they are respected and revered. Well, I don't live in that culture. Sooooo, was I going to let it get me down? I am not married and living in an apartment. No kids nor do I really want to handle that on my own. Oh, and the dreaded change that happens to all women. I guess that living on my own, no one will have to deal with my falling apart. And then there is a thought that as you get older that your circle of people get smaller and smaller. Mine is so small now what will happen..... stop....
That was where my mind was going in past years. Not this year I am glad to report. I start every year with a theme. A theme where I am searching for something. It is a request for God to come and surprise me with new learning and a renewing. This year is me allowing God to romance me with His Everlasting Love. I don't want this to be a surface thing I really want depth and width. I am soooooo sick of the unstable and weak. Won't take it no more! Man's love is so fleeting and feeble but God's love? EVERLASTING! This is where my mind is. I am totally focused on RECEIVING His Everlasting Love. I have rejected it in the past without realizing it. It is in the bad thoughts. You know, those negative thoughts that are always there. Do you realize that we woman think about if we are beautiful enough as much as men think about sex. I have decided that harnessing my thoughts on God's Everlasting Love is a do or die thing.
Another thought of sailing through this middle patch is that after listening to women who have come undone because of the woman change, I wonder if the major source of this dysfunction was because these women never dealt with stress. Stress is everywhere and cannot be avoided but learning what de-stresses you is extremely important to practice and do in life. Could women learn to de-stress and go through the change without medication and be intact physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? This needs to remain a question. There is no need for you to answer me on this. Answer it for your own self.
With this question of going through the middle ages de-stressed and savoring and delight in my God, I have found a new passion - amigurumi. I have noticed that I have this passion that de-stressed the stress and fears of work. For me de-stressing is all about learning for me. I must not stop. There is always more I want to know so must never give up on learning. If I can learn to crochet in my middle ages with no human help then I can do it again in all my other curiosities. I must say here you cannot de-stress without a focused thought life on inviting His Everlasting Love and delighting and savoring it.
So on this happy day, I am numbering the Mighty Works God has done in my life. I am trilled with the passions and dreams He has given me. I am grateful that He takes the time to nudge me via my pet words to speak depth to me and my walk with Him. I am honored to have my family and puppers around me. Our lives are so connected and precious. Remembering to value and hold them as fleeting - treasures to store in Heaven. I have friends and memories to cherish and hold. It is the good with the bad that make our lives rich. I am valued to be called woman and beautiful by my Beloved. I am His and He is mine. My greatest gift to give is my smile and my softness but also remembering that it must never be thought of as weak because God's Strength is the source.
One last thing is that my relationship with God has to be top priority. I must read His Word as much as I pray. It must remain a two way street not just a whimpering mess on my part. Reading His Word has been like being full and hungry at the same time as it should be. I am satisfied but wanting more. MMM, yes, I admit I want to be a junkie with His Word!!! Oh Taste!!!!!! (Oh devour tooo) and see that He is Good...
All that we are promised is one day. What will I make of this day? It is a wonderful life, am I living it wonderful?
I rattle the lone marble in my glass jar. I stand on my writer's desk and shout 'Yes, This is a Wonderful Life. I choose to live it WONDERFULLY. Thank You, My Beloved for this precious life. My answer to Your Command - I CHOOSE LIFE. I CHOOSE WONDERFUL LIFE. I CHOOSE WONDERFUL EVERLASTING LIFE!''
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