the fear elephant ...

From the "Gift of Fear" a statement has haunted me. 'What you don't bring to your conscious will turn into your fate.' This is talking about fear intuition. I had an example play out in my life.

I had someone in my life who would come and go. At the beginning it was ok but then it showed up as a habit. I had this fear that he would go away and never come back. We had a such a connection that I wanted to continue at full tilt. I wanted to be able to see him and connect and have him do so with me. This fear is greatly intensified because water and land keeps us apart but hey, we are in the gadget age where space is small. It can be done. I had no fear. I knew what I was willing to give.

But the fear that he would go away and never come back came true. No matter how much I tried to reconnect, no matter if I made apologies, no matter if I guessed what went wrong, no matter if I gave him the benefit of the doubt, good bye is forever. I saw him yesterday and I simply said hi. No response and a few minutes later he was gone.

I had the fear and I never pushed it because I was afraid that I would push him to leave early. So what do you gain if you bring that fear larking in the back forward? It is his choice to leave. I guess the only thing about confronting his leaving would be projecting it back on him so that I would be free. Maybe I might have gotten an understanding why he leaves so that I could close the door on him once and for all.

I get hung up on the spiritual connection we had. It was like being able to have a language in common in a world where your language is foreign. I have never had such a connection before and I am so weak to think that God is bigger and can give it back to me in an extreme that would blow me away.

So how do I do with these nagging fears into the conscious and not run from it? Can I be encouraging so to bypass the confrontation part and still bring the elephant into the room? I will have to fall back on 'Quiet Leadership' technique and ask the questions so that they do the thinking and hard labor. Isn't this their little issue? So why am I allowing their muck as a fear in my life?