I can't get the conversation I had with my little brother this past Sunday. He is getting his master's in psychology. His teacher has encourage him to ask for what he needs in relationships. Little bro conveyed his struggle. He has asked and has gotten not much back. To me there was no success in his asking. Quite frankly, I believe it to only promote more discontent with in him. Funny too but I kept my mouth shut on this one - no more honestly, I didn't think about it until later ... our own relationship changed more than I wanted it to when he got married. Asking would have started a fight. I was forced to use what was brought to the table.
I am way to tired to ask any more. I have done that and won't go there. I am on to something new and has better success. I am less disatisfied with my life and who I am. I want solutions. Good ones. What is more successful is working with what is brought the table of a relationship. Like I keep stressing is that you cannot change someone so stop wishing it so. Just work with what you have.
It is about what you can control, right? You cannot control people! But look at what is on the table and be an artist and create something magical from it.
So with little bro, I am going to use questions (psychology!) to edge him closer to coming up with his own answer. (Your answers are within you, right?)
I am curious too to see if one idea is more right than another. I just have never seen the asking to work well. I cannot go there. It isn't my answer. But for theory sake, I will keep tabs on his success rate with asking...
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