Wednesday, December 20, 2006

the relationship squeeze ...

I am going to share some things I've been put to the flame on. Not sure how to share this but to list. I was going to talk about them in separate entries because I feel they really need some depth yet I feel the need to get it all out at once.

Things I've learned from my connections...
* Relationships are a piece of art.
Yes, a piece of art that takes two creators that share and compliment each others flare and color. Now have the artists step back. Take a look. Let it seep in. Now ask the artists what they put in and what they take away from it. I bit you will have two different answers.

When I think of relationships as a piece of art, I can step back from the relationship and notice the sames and differences. I also see the amount that each put into it. If it isn't balanced, I have realized that maybe I need to step up or step back.

With art an artist needs to be able to let the piece take on its life. After realizing this, I noticed why my art pieces are not in balance. I must stop getting so in the zone and see my co-artist pace. I must release and let the art happen...

* When it rains all you can do is let it rain.
I saw this quote and I stopped! Nothing you can do when it is pouring down rain. You cannot will those clouds away. You can mop in the bay window and let your tears fall with the rain or you can go curl up with a warm blanket and a good book. Same with relationships. You are going to have to except that you cannot change someone else only yourself. I know this one. But I like this quote and it is soothing in a strange way. Instead of my eyeballs always straining for any hands or knees on the wheel, I can relax and go to my best place, my creative soothing place - home.

* Can't squeeze wine out of a dried up grape.
Grapes and raisens are both good, but when you squeeze and crush raisens .. quite useless on your part. Why not stop it? Same with relationships. You got to be aware of your partner. For me I must me more on top of it. I must keep my sences sharper in an interpersonal way like understanding what someone can't give and understand what I need. If I get this quicker, my sences will be sharper and the art created together will be more balance.

* When you focus all on the differences, all the 'sames' are lost.
I am acutely aware of this. I love my name because it is unique. I love certains things about my personality because I tend to like things that are not the norm nor do I follow the crowd. However, I really like it when there are sames to enjoy with another. (believe me I am such a contradiction!) I guess I equate that with growing rooted and deep with another. I don't feel so lost or feel like a freak show. I feel accepted and even loved with sames. Differences in relationships are needed. The right differences compliment each other and together you can go further than if you went alone. Please hear this.. I welcome a healthy balance of differences and sames. What has really hit home is that when there is a bump in the road for a relationship, it is because of differences but with total focus on what makes you you and makes the other other, you lose sight of all the connections and intersections that brought you together in the first place and these 'sames' are what keep each other nurtured in the togetherness.

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