bottomed out ...

I had the evening all set to spend with Mac. I had been nerveous and excited all in one. It has been a long couple of months with distence and shut downs. Tonight was suppose to open up a whole new world.

No, not talking boyfriends here. I am talking upgrading my old pal the iMac. I prepared to 'destatic'. I put the memory in and like the last time the white tabs that are suppose to match up with the notches on the memory don't. I push hard (being small I am not sure if I am using enough ufph). Well, it won't go in any further. I don't know how it will stay put. I flip Mac back in upright position and turn it on. Wooohooo, time to put in the disk.

The disk is a dvd. I open it up and read what I am suppose to read. Then I click on the installer. Up comes the big X screen with a button to restart. I click it. So Mac does his thing. What is suppose to come up is the installer screen. But that does not happen. I have a screen showing the installer button just like before. I restarted several times. Then I shut it down. Checked the memory again. Turned it on and restarted several times again. Then I went surfing google to get help on troubleshooting. What I find is not what happened to me.

What a mess. When things like this happen, I break down. God has been with me the hold time and I again come crying and tearing myself up. I know this is just a stupid human desire. This isn't eternal. Yet, I bring up all the things I could better use ...

I thank God that He doesn't need to be upgraded. He never slows down. He never just drops you for no reason. He is always there in every emergency. He is always working the NightShift and Weekends. It doesn't matter if it is a holiday. His manual is always included. He is always there. There are no lobby music blaring as you wait on the phone. You can take on life even without macgroups because God is in your group. You don't have to go the library to get five volumes of mac books to see if they have an answer to your problem....

My heart had that feeling again where the bottom drops out and it left scrape burns all down my insides... I was afraid that I would not sleep... I cried out ... He heard and granted me sleep .... I promised not to touch mac the next day...