knitted together ...

I was sorting through the Bible stories looking for those who battled and journeyed alone in their walk with God. I will admit that you can make your list of those who had to go it alone but as I have encountered each of these courageous men and women, it has been God-proved to me that they did not go it alone! There is only One who had total separation but more on that later. Because I have been mentally scouring through all the stories and have been reading Ephesians and Colossians, I strongly believe that we are ‘knitting together’ and not made to do it alone. (I will not even use Adam here … which has been my favorite lean-on example!)

~ K i n g D a v i d ~
I believe that God personally put King David into hiding not to spare his life but to give David some training in humility. But take a closer look in those caves and who do you see with David? Hundreds upon hundreds of men who chose to risk everything to fight with their future king. Amazing!!! David did not ask these men to come with him. They chose!

Beware of those that are here … they are probably sent by God to keep you from the dangers of depression.

~ Q u e e n E s t h e r ~
I believe that God used a love story to prove once again that He has a bigger plan. Even though you may have a small and beautiful role, He connects you to others. See how Queen Esther asked her people to fast and pray for her as she approached her husband the king without an invitation. Remember what happened to the other queen who did not obey? God used Esther to save the Israelis from mass murder but only from these same people supporting their queen.

The only two things that are Eternal are God’s Word and people.

~ C a i n ~
This is a very intriguing story. I sometimes feel for poor Cain. God commanded a certain way to worship Him – a first born lamb. Not vegetables! Yes, Cain being a farmer is going to bring his first fruits but he never went to his brother Abel for a trade of goods. Rather Cain invoked God’s wrath and in turn killed Abel. God in His Infinite Wisdom marked Cain forever for not humbling himself in worship and being his brother’s keeper. Cain was to live out his days excluded from all mankind because any one who came in contact with Cain quickly would get away. There would be no end to this isolation because with the mark no one would raise a hand to kill Cain or they would be stuck down by God.

Not the way I would want to live. All of this could have been avoided!

No matter what God has designed each of our lives to be our brother’s keeper.


~ J e s u s ~
The Son of God is the one and only person listed in the whole Bible who had to go utterly and completely alone on His Journey. After the humiliation and the beating in front of a screaming hateful crowd, Jesus was nailed to the cross to die for the payment of our sins. It was so much more than anyone of us could bear. The freak storm was not an accident. It was God turning His back on all the ugliness and intolerable sin that Jesus carried for us. The Son cried out ‘’ My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?’’ Talk about a horrific burden to bear alllllllll alone!

God has never turned His back on us. He is the Unchangeable God. He is the Forever and For Always God. He chose us! Then He chose to love us! We never go it alone when we seek to walk with Him. Not only do we have Him but He has put in place a support system of people to help us along the way. Sometimes they are there all along and sometimes a hardship comes our way so that we will seek support and to be a support to others. WoooWeeeee, I love how God works!

To humbly walk with God may mean to humbly open our vision and our hearts to what is beyond the loud of our worlds.

~ E p h e s i a n s & C o lo s s i a n s ~
The author of these two letters is none other than Paul whose love language is touch. When reading these letters they are very similar because the recipients where in two different locations but needed the same encouragement. Encouragement to grasp the saving knowledge of Christ’s love and to serve others in this love. Listen in.

’… for we are His Workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them … eph 2:10

‘ … that you being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height – to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, that you maybe filled with all the fullness of God …eph 3:17-18

‘… with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love … eph 4:2

‘… walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma… eph 5:2’

‘… Redeeming the time, because the days are evil … eph 5:16’

‘… that their hearts may be encouraged, being knitted together in love … col 2:2’

‘… put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a compliant against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection … col 3:12-14’ (ouch!!!)

‘… redeeming the time … col 4:5’

Over and over again Paul, the toucher, encourages the believers to exercise the greatest command, love one another. He does not want the believers to be so light or careless with those they are in contact with in their every day worlds. This is not just a lesson for back then but for now as well. It just might be more important today as we have so many ways to bond with others yet we have become so impersonal and extremely careless with our actions. Paul also addressed the lovers who get hurt .. forgive and keep on loving. (ouch!)

Love is the chains, bonds, and weight of perfection

~ L O V E ~
Take love itself as described throughout the pages of the Bible. Love is not a gooey noun. Rather it is a hard working action verb. Love is love when you do it to someone meaning it flows from you to another. Christ Himself is the perfect example for trading in His Beauty for the ashes He received from us. Love is the tender affirming words. Love is the quality time spent listening or sampling just being with someone. Love is serving someone in a task that just might be tough for them. Love is giving a special gift that is purely perfect for them. Love is touching not just physical but includes the forgotten ways like mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

A believer’s job? LOVE

I just cannot apologize for the strong convictions that have grown more intense these recent days about the people-bonds that believers are asked to do with their lives. I had a question pop into my head that if God really thinks His Bride is so beautiful and He takes time to invest so much into her so that she is in full bloom when He receives her into His Kingdom, how can His Bride is be more beautiful as this age is waxing old and thin? (completely astounded!) I see and feel so many hurtful, careless actions done toward each other. It is not just loud and ugly things we do, but also the casual and very sloppy way we treat each other. Loneliness is not exclusive but everywhere. It is felt in the tone of voice, the roll of the eyes, the indifference... It can be said that isolation stops when you reach out and touch someone, but not so. When it comes to humans, love is a give and take. It is high time that we calculate what Eternal repercussions at stake when our vision is only set to the surface. Look deep. Be a feeler. Be a sensitive. Be a conductor of this Precious Love Bond as Called of us.

'... orders remain unchanged ...'

excited about plants...

hmmmmm, we got another Australian import! Jamie Durie, whose show 'Backyard Blitz' just got nixed in OZ, made his entrance in the States this past week. He is excited about putting the right plants with the right people. He has a contagious energy. Looks like he will have his own show right here on PBS next year. Can't wait to learn! I really need help with aloe vera! Can you believe it ... I killed yet another plant!

free hugs & orpahages ...

1) Free Hugs
wikipedia's account
An Australian man had a notion and tried his social experiment. Tears came to my eyes as I saw in action how the love language of touch played out. People were looking at this guy holding a sign which said 'free hugs' like he was crazy. Then out of the blue a wise senior lady came at the guy with a big hug. I couldn't help but cheer!

2)Trong & Rani Hong
Tronie Foundation
Two people with childhoods of being taken from their family who found themselves adopted into USA families. They met and got married. Surprisingly, Trong did not reveal his own tormented childhood to Ronnie until after they were married. Now they work on building projects that are geared around orphanages.

fading footsteps ...

‘’It always seems the journeys are traveled alone. It is great to draw near to God in your own personal journey, but wouldn't it be great to draw near to God in one heart together? Way can’t journeys be taken together?’’

‘’I was HERE, but all I heard was fading footsteps.’’

a Christmas box ...

The box is filled with this and that from decorations of Christmas past. Some other holiday decorations jumped in the box too. This assortment is on its way to a second hand store and little stories kept popping into my head hoping for a little Christmas cheer to come to a single girl bringing a little sparkle to her first apartment or maybe a single mother is looking for a cheap yet beautiful way to bring some holiday warmth to her children or maybe a mother is just looking to stretch a buck a little farther. No, nothing huge or spectacular in the box, but what girl wouldn’t like a light and merriment to tuck in around her home to keep the chill of darks nights at bay…

respect (v)

~ equals love in the man's world!

They rather live alone and unloved than disrespected! (whereas women chose disrespect over being alone and unloved) Their anger is usually how they respond to being disrepected! (women usually respond with crying when feeling unloved)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
oh dear! Have I disrespected him without realizing it? This is a foreign concept to a woman yet as I chew on it .. not so foreign. Have I not been so frustrated and kept my words to myself because I had enough of people undermining my thoughts and intelligence? To me this is disrespect. So as I have these new eyes I am looking for all those fine line fractures of disrepect. I caught one yesturday as a wife told on her husband for eating raw eggs. I could see in his eyes the spark of anger. I had no idea how to respond. I just kept quiet wondering how to restore the respect in his choice to eat how he eats in order to live healthy. It is a mine field. I look at my learning habits and I tend to ask why a lot. I can see this an issue of disrespect so I am learning to respond with my questions but also learning to give my respect ...

through all generations ...

A psalm. For giving thanks.

Shout for Joy to the Lord, all the earth.

Worship the Lord with Gladness;
come before Him with Joyful songs.

Know that the Lord is God.
It is He who made us, and we are His;
we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.

Enter His gates with Thanksgiving
and His courts with Praise;
give Thanks to Him and Praise His Name.

For the Lord is Good and His Love endures forever;
His Faithfulness continues through all generations.
~Psalms 100

I cannot forget nor do I want too how this verse was the last verse this missionary couple had together that morning before the rebels who kidnaped them killed her husband. When I get inside this moment, I come away with how much comfort it would bring me knowing that he entered His Eternal Gates shouting thanksgiving. This haunted me and brought me comfort with the earthly loss of my Grandma. It brings me comfort for each day... this is what I hope to leave behind in my loved ones... I hope to make this a tradition beginning when we gather together ... watching His Faithfulness passing through the generations ...and entering His Gates with Thankgiving ... His Courts with Praise .. together

thankgiving from my heart '06

alllllll 36 food allergies! Yes, even the chocolate! Let me tell you that was a hard one. I still taste but move on. I am eating a whole lot better now too. Have too when all grains but oatmeal and barley are on the no no list. Add to that beet sugar and cane sugar equals no more baked stuff. bummer. No really I am eating more naturally which is totally healthy and something I wanted to do now I have the motivation I can!!! No more headaches! I feel great! my family's potental! Losing the last of one generation makes my gathering mode kick in big time. I look around the table and see how each one of brings a huge gift and all of these gifts are connected! I believe hugely in our family and I am busting at the seams for everyone to feel and belive it too. my fat suit epiphany! It feels so grand to be free to be me. No more hiding. No more caring for a bit of return. All my Returns come from God. This is me like it or not. All Rudie Nudie dance. Sure took me a long time. Still have the tears and moments where I am deer in the headlights and all I want to do is cover up. Too bad must strut my stuff. my move down the work food chain Moving back down to the receptionist isn't what most people would think as a slick. But I know it is a good fit for me. I can once again serve up smiles. Sure makes me feel good when I feel joy bubble up. bbn I am head over heals about my latest radio station find! I have refused to listen to christian radio in my past. I was not digging the new music. It sounds too much like the other radio stations. Sorry Country radio has better lyrics and some songs are more christian. Pop and rock I like them too. Now I have found a great radio station that gives me my hymns that have been lacking from my table since church has thrown out the good oldies. Nothing cheers my lagging heart and mind like the old hymns. Chuck Swindoll is back and someone new to me Steven Davies. I am more enriched than ever before. It feels so good to fill up again. old teachers and new Like Swindoll. He is my old favorite. Some new ones would be Steven Davies and Joel Osteen. books!! Ron Mehl is a great author and I have loved his books.. so much in fact that I had to add 5 of his books to my library! 'God Works the NightShift' is a must read. My Pupinators! Can't leave them off the list!! Warm, cuddly, and so into me! O if humans could be more like faithful dogs a much better world would this be!!!

Heavenly Father,
I am sooooo rich! You have given and I am overflowing with Your Grace.... O to serve more wholeheartedly with unabashed passion ... o to never look back ...
always trying
~ Your little girl

national security ...

"It must be felt that there is no national security
but in the nation's humble,
acknowledged dependence upon God & His overruling providence."
~President Franklin Peirce

Even when we find ourselves in the heat of battle and all around us is a blaze, even when our best intentions have crumbled and we feal evils hot breath upon the nape of our neck, even when critics have written us off and claim we are the terror, nothing will keep our back until we humbling bow at His Feet. Then will He cover us with His Hand ...

thank You for Your Shadow that we may hide in you

Happy Birthday President Peirce - 1804

silver & gold thanksgiving ...

Morning seeped through the blinds as I woke to a day I could start slow and easy. I puttered through breakfast and a hot shower so when I opened the blinds o say about 10ish I was wowed by only seeing the bottom of the silver lining of the day! Here it was a late morning the sun was still not making a dent! Once triumpht the mighty sun turned all that was silver into a brilliant gold...

compared to 2005 > winter rainbow

happy thanksgiving

the huge Return ...

Just like anyone else when making an investment, one expects a return. Put money in the bank, one expect some interest. Same way with a friendship or a relationship, you give pieces of yourself and you expect to receive pieces of themselves. I am not talking an extreme amount but just a simple ebb and flow.

Then I got mad. Life experience after life experience has only proven that fellow humans reject, abandon, or ignore me. These humans are ones I have given pieces of myself to them. Believe me I am not one to give without some trust so these people I had felt some kind of connection. One to many times they have taken their presence from me. I had had it.

I wasn't about to stop engaging others. This was one hard fought gift I would not reject. I would keep on giving, but I would refuse to hope for the slightest return. I was afraid of this decision. I am a strong believer in keeping my life in balance. This didn't feel like balance.

My Dear little one,
Continue to serve wholeheartedly, continue to engage others with your cheery smiles and hellos, continue to give pieces of yourself .. I created you and designed your talents and passions. Serve Me in this way. Do not think of it as serving men. They cannot satisfy. You know deep within that I, your Heavenly Father and Husbandman rewards you for all the good you do. This is the Return you should keep your focus on. Keep on loving wide and deep. Huggggge Huggggers, My little girl.
~ always and everlasting your God

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, ...
Eph 6:8

Ahhhhha! I gotta it. Here is the balance ...
she's out

on the road ...

She left! My Aunt has left for AZ all by herself to start her life again. Her actions have left me feeling kinda I don't know what. I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. I guess because it is a chance to gather family near.

I made up a travel pack of things she might have forgotten to pack and sent a note with good journey verses and the lullaby hymn "God Will Take Care of You." My way of lovetouching her. (sighs ... )

By the way the auction wasn't so good.

life or death?

When you come from a pressed down place and have found Joy transform your life where your passion for God has increased beyond what you could have ever imagined, 'dying to self' is a concept that your spirit fusses over with distain. It could be that I am a 'word-freak' because I have a dictionary full of words that have life experiences attached to them.

What is true about death is that we should die to the flesh and die to our lusts, but we really should LIVE. Believers are given light, a treasure in jars of clay. Believers are given new white robes. Believers are given Everlasting Life! All others are walking death.

I have been a believer since early childhood but a long face and tortured spirit had begun to kindle in my depths. But I have been so fortunate to have had God's touch transform my life into one of Joy. I am excited to live and enjoy alllllll He gives me. Guess I want to be more careful about the word death because there is such delight in new growth, in new life ... It is amazing when deep in your heart, you feel it bloom again...

a citizen's menu ...

With political scandals and others falling from high places, I have been
pondering what sort of standards should be set in place. I am strongly
convicted that it shouldn't be left for our leaders but all citizens and
not just a particular country but as citizens of a Higher Kingdom and
salt dwellers here upon the earth. I purpose a Citizen's Menu:

1. 10 Commandments
*Ron Mehl's 'Tender Commandments' are a must read.

2. The Greatest Commandment - Love one another.
*Be fluent in the 5 love languages - affirming words, quality time,
gifts, service, & touch.

*Be a love debtor. Romans 13

*God's love = preparing, providing, proving, & Presence.

3. Titus 3:2
*to slander no one, to be peaceable, to be full of courtesy, to walk
humbly.

We know this but to really follow this we need to make it a constant
checklist.

28 yrs with, one month without ...

'I am going planning on a big creative weekend.'
He is a writer in waiting with dreams of finding someone to publish his written pieces. With Thanksgiving next Thursday it will give him a nice long weekend to do what he wants.

'Any suggestions on movies? Something that my brother will like .. We do have the same tastes.'
I gave him my faves.

'Have you been writing other than your blog like that book you were talking about?'
I told him that lately I am thinking that I am going to change the focus of that book into one about survival because I have been in a reckless mood of late. Survival perked his ears.

'I am going to make baby steps to get out and do stuff without the kids like going the movies with my bro and taking in a basketball game by myself. Hurry up and finish that book. I need it. Last week the one night I just sat there feeling very lonely.'
He is newly divorced. I told him hey, I have 37 years of lonely and I still struggle. The book
would be a girl's perspective and I don't know how it would translate out for a guy. What really hit me from this conversation was that when he admitted he was lonely, his voice went softer... aw man, another 'lonely'! =(

side note -
I wonder if he will totally be turned off by women for the rest of his
days like the other guy I came to know. Oh, how we torture and eat our
own kind!

spilt corn ...

I got off a bit early to go check out a stereo system since the old one refuses to play my cd's. I've been battling it out whether I should or should not get a new one. Besides that my mind has been in a whirl because of another dilemma requiring help and funds to make it happen. I had taken a country road where up ahead I see farmers bringing in the corn. On the edge of the road is some spilt corn. Immediately my penny-pinching self begins to wonder what the head farmer had said that morning about precious yellow spills. Is he counting the $ signs of loss? Then my reasonable sane side believes this is the way God feeds the birds of the air. Think of it as the farmer being a part of God's bigger picture.

Then today in my Bible verses for 30 days of Gratitude I read Matthew 6:26 ...

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

... which reminds me that even though I was crying out with all my worry of making good decisions and frustration of having to go it alone all my life, God is MINDFUL of me. God may have not calmed me until I related His Care (matt6:26) with the spilt corn.

My worry about being wise about the stereo system will play out on Saturday to see if the Auction will cover the cost so in the meantime I will meditate on the sparrow and pray. But the other worry is about putting holes in glass bottles and glass blocks for a painted project I have brewing. There has been a nudge of help. Just what I needed. No, I still may decide that I alone won't be able to accomplish this and nix the idea or with the wonderful help from a co-worker who really stepped up and ventured drilling holes in the practice glass I so happened to bring in today, I can finish these bottles and see if they bring in some cash to try drilling on my own. This project is way out of my league, but if I want this I know I will have to depend on self alone.

Through my dilemmas I know my behavior pattern. I over stress on the money and on which way I should go. Is it really important enough for God attention? Then I realize with a sinking feeling that all of it dances on the one last super frayed ouchie that I must always do it ALONE. It just won't heal. It is fine if I can do it but when the risk is high and the worth might be zero, it is too much. I do realize that even if I had a teammate in the form of a husband there would be other issues to deal with like 'no, you can't' or 'no, I won't help'. What I find myself doing is asking God to come with me. I invite Him to shine some light. Be my husbandman. Of course, He always steps up to the plate because He loves me and He loves to take care of me.

Thank You for spilt corn on the edge of the road for Your dear sparrows. Oh, how You value little 'ol me.

One Night with the King

I have to rate this movie a 10 for the all little girls who know the Bible story of Esther and the girlish dreams of capturing the heart of a king who takes you to be his queen. Yes, a real live fairytale! The movie is based on a novel but it does follow the Story in the Bible. Of course, they have some filler but pretty much sticks to the account in the OT.

I love how things in my life connect with others things I am learning. I have been listening to Steven Davies series on 'I Pledge Allegiance'and having been reading Romans 13 where Paul is telling believers they that

'Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there isno authority except that which God has established.'

Before seeing the movie please Romans 13! It gives you a foundation for which Esther is obedient to the authorities that took all the young woman to the king. You might think what little girl wouldn't want to be choosen by a king? Well, this movie allows you to glimpse at what plans a young girl might have in her heart even to serve God. But God had other plans in store for Esther. Huge plans!

With each step Esther took in God's plans, she found favor. She found favor with Hagai, the king's euncuch. It did not stop there, she found favor with King Xerxes! She was chosen Queen. What a place to be ... especially when Haman made moves to have all the Jews to be put to death. Mordecai's words that he told his dear niece "who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Wow! Esther called to save her people by her role as Queen who has won favor of King Xerxes because she obeyed the King of kings.

Here I am sitting in the dark theatre with tears in my eyes because no matter what plans I have to serve God with He will prepare a path for me to walk. His plans are full of Joy. His plans are Peace. His plans are passion on fire. His plans are perfect... To find yourself in God's favor is purely in Honoring Him...

God Will Take Care of You
Be not dismayed whate'er betide,
God will take care of you;
Beneath His Wings of Love abide,
God will take care of you.

Through days of toil when heart doth fail,
God will take care of you;
When dangers fierce your path assail,
God will take care of you.

All you may need He will provide,
God will take care of you;
Nothing you ask will be denied,
God will take care of you.

No matter what may be the test,
God will take care of you;
Lean, weary one, upon His Chest,
God will take care of you.

Chorus:
God will take care of you,
Through every day, O'er all the way;
He will take care of you,
God will take care of you.
`C.D. Martin
W. Stillman Martin

Even though I believe 'a picture tells a thousand words', it is also true that a picture cannot do words justice. So make sure that you read the real account of Esther in the OT.

sidenote
I wonder if King Xerxes will be in heaven. Was it also in God's plan that the favor King Xerxes shown to Esther and the love that he must have had to allow Esther in his court and to grant her request to save her people to stir King Xerxes' heart to find out more about Queen Esther's God she served? I ponder this... a bit of history tucked in with the story says that Xerxes was murdered by his own son 14 years later.... I wonder... and something I can't wait for God to show me in the History halls of Heaven.

I also find the character playing Xerxes face very fascinating. It is a face that I have never seen before. It reminds me of a lean racing brown horse when you look at the face straight on... high cheek bones... very regal... very compelling...

back to real stuff
... take my heart ... oh take it ... seal it ... for Thy Courts Above ...

napping horses ...

Rushing home on my lunch hour to feed my lovely pupers, I saw all five horses on the ground with legs tucked under them napping! I thought this was a strange sight! These horses are usually pretty frisky and playful. Not in this moment. I did see one other horse napping on my way home so maybe this is a normal thing at this time of day. I'm usually not out to tell. On my rush back to work behind a very slow car (grr), I had my camera ready to keep a still of this nap moment but they were all up! Bummer!

be a love debtor ...

"If our kids are feeling lonely, it is not because there is a lack of people but because there is a lack of love & connection between them. ~ Yvonne Dutra-St. John,
co-founder of 'Challenge Day' with husband Rich Dutra-St. John

Perfectly said. My life path has been and presently is all about walking alone. I can honestly admit that I did not know how to engage people. Today I have found my unique way of greeting people and allowing them to see that I am safe. However, I still walk alone. It is not by choice. Because it seems to be out of my hands, I feel that it is God-Designed for a purpose.

The past few days have been quite restless because I felt isolated by a person I once had felt close to who took their presence away from me. For some reason this aloneness that I have has been a strength to keep me from trying to follow the crowd. My guts have been God-Sourced. At thiry-something I feel that I am to be the Voice of Loneliness because I know it most itimately through childhood, teenhood,and now adulthood. Sadly, my Voice seems to be echoing across an empty wilderness...

The love inside me is growing deeper. Just maybe I am on to something... like God leading me in new love expressions ... ahhh, the mystery of adventure!!!

[8] Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. [9] The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet,"* and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."* [10] Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. [11] And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. [12] The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. [13] Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. [14] Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.* (Rom 13:8-14 NIV)

Love is a balance of taking timeouts to clothe yourself with Jesus and actively love on others. You have to be able to do both in every moment of every day to be healthy. No huge chunks of timeouts! When you have the balance down, the two halves flow quite nicely together.

V > the great divide

getting along with others...

There is a clause in the hiring process at the place I work. It goes like this

‘An "Employment at Will" relationship exists between us and our employees, with both parties having the right to terminate the employment relationship at any time, for any reason, with or without cause or notice.’

I never liked this clause but not sure why until I have seen the powers that be use it upon us employees. The HR boss decided to terminate her HR underling because their personalities did not mesh. I find this deplorable. Being the receptionist I am working closely with both parties. The underling was very professional and worked hard for the employees. I do know that the underling saw things that were not right. So when told that there were personality issues, she could stay for two weeks or leave now… of course you are going to leave now.

What really gets me is that the underlings are expected to really work hard at getting along with others, but with this clause it allows the powers to cop out and be lazy in how they work with people. Dougle standard. What a shame.

the great divide...

"What happened between us?"

"You really want to go there?"

"Yes, I do."

"I really do not know how to begin. All I know is that I am struggling with some really messed up emotions. Here is a picture of my prayers. When we are communicating well and timely, my prayers and my support for you is really high and focused. I feel close and good feelings and growth abound. When our communication begins to lag, I have no clue where you stand. I begin to sense that I am not needed nor are my prayers vital. My heart whispers 'don't be where you are not wanted'. I've been down this road too many times before ..."

IV > to withhold touch

to withhold touch ...

I have noticed once again that one whose love language is touch resorts to pulling oneself away from the rest of society. One claimed he was insular. He knows no other way but to protect himself in this way. Another has claimed a needed time out for an inner quest.

Touch isn't my hunger pain but because it keeps gnawing me into paying attention, I have seen this love language revive lives. When I was a teenager, I would pull away from my dear father when he hugged me. I would defend my pulling away because we just had a verbal conflict. Words being so dear for me, it was hard to hug my dad back. Oh, I wish I could take those days back. Today, I hug my dad every time we are together.

I just cannot fathom how isolation of any kind is of God and His Love. I have been chastised every time I have gone in hiding to lick my wounds and even retrospection. I would beg for mercy from on High. It finally has sunk in that every time I am isolated from others or alone, I must engage every time. The greatest human need is value. I know this most intimately. If I feel this so intensely, it must be an ache felt by all human kind. Believers have an Ultimate and Eternal responsibility to
supply the demand with active Godly Love. Because this human need is so great, believers have the task to balance their time outs with their engagements to be most effective. To live in balance honors being our brother's keeper besides honoring God's grand design.

I may be called to engage the very one who has pulled away. This is the hardest thing for me as our soul journeys convey opposite and possibly polar ends...
II she's out

she's out ...

Enough! Steel has filled in behind her warm brown eyes. A reckless resolve has broken the wasted completely from her ideal wish. No more will the hunger of value and attention gnaw at her gut. She will never give up on her relentless pursuit of engaging others and becoming more full bloom. However, since no one will step up on the return, she will be all she ever wanted in companionship...

I > with in the thick

treasured old family books ...

Being a lover of stories I got to keep some old books from my grandparent's place. Two had my grandfather's name, two had my grandma's name, and one had my father's name written in the front cover.

One book titled "Silver Wings" by Grace Livingston Hill tugged on my memory. I remember reading this book as a child but what I realized just now this was the very copy I had read. It brings back memories, spatial memories. I remember grandparent's mobile home. I remember the lay out. I remember the items that decorated the place. I remember their presence. I remember this book there ... (funny how I travel back to the homes they had .. remembering certain things...)

The book represents a friendly cocoon. I remember everything else around me fade as this book world filled my mind. I cannot remember the story but little pieces are there like the pilot's silver wings pin and something about upstairs bedroom...

I do believe this was the first book by Grace Livingston Hill I read and it began my thirst for her other books. These books are written in the same form so after a while you move on. Girl in trouble living alone meets a guy that chooses her and her life changes for the better. A girlish book with my grandfather's name written there. Did he read it? Who gave him the book? He was closer to that time, what did it mean to
him?

The season of Thanksgiving and Christmas always fills me with the urgency of gathering home, lights, and love around me like a tucking in a warm blanket. I am going to take time out to read this book again and travel back to my old memories... Revisit old paths ..

make new wine ...

Have you found yourself stuck on things you want to change whether in your personal life or your family life and it just seems to be passed down from one generation to the next? It could be the consequence of the sins of a father or maybe it is simple as a trait that seemingly holds you back.

I have a trait that I will share and some secret ones I am still working on but this is the month it all coming at me at once so now it the time to buckle down. Our family has problems communicating. Plans are made on half the info and then we wonder how things could go so wrong. I have thought about this and still have no easy solution. Breaking bad habits is not the way to change rather making good habits is.

A good habit that I started last year was having a Barbarian Night in August. Some things happened that I was not in the right frame of mind to make it happen this year. So I am going to try something at Thanksgiving. After Daddy prays I am going to have every one volunteer a sentence of what they are especially thankful for this year. This is good communication and insight into each person's life journey. What better way to enable us to have empathy for our family members' dreams? Then at Christmas ask everyone to share a Christmas wish for the up coming year. Or maybe mix it up a bit...

I am still thinking. Games are not well loved by all in my household so that is an out. But I am still thinking so maybe I can come up with some ideas for good communication without it feeling like medicine.

with in the thick ...

If the definition of love is the five actions of affirming words, quality time, gifts, service, touch …

If God created man not to be alone & to be our brother’s keeper …

If the life journey is a two sided coin where you support another through prayer and listening as they face the hard stuff …

If keeping balance means time outs & engaging life every moment of every day …

If Jonathan & David's deepest friendship to each other even beyond death with David sparing Jonathan's son from death ...

If steadfast love is being chosen & pursued …

Then how can silence mean I will fall deeper in love with Emmanuel (God with us)?

The Prestige ...

I would rate this movie a 9.5 because of the 'getting your hands dirty'. However, I really should rate it a 10 for the lesson of obsession '0' !

This movie is about the dark side of magic. You learn the three things it takes to make a magic trick work. You have the pledge where the magician tells you what he is going to do. You are allowed to come and see if there is anything false. Then comes the turn where the magician makes something disappear. Last, the magician must make it come back and this is called the prestige.

What you really come away from the movie is how obsession can take over your life and once it does, you become the slave and in the end you will be distroyed by your obsession.

Remember this is a movie about magic. The author is the magician. You are watching the trick. You will be played. Knowing this I knew what was coming, but the author had yet another final twist on me. This movie is deep and has a lot of twists. It makes you think which is the best part...

My final thought is that I am all about passion and dreams, so when does it become an obsession? When you are out of balance...

delight of rain / fear of fire ...

I enjoy rain when I go to sleep or when I wake up. It is a beautiful sound that is so soothing. I live in an area that has the four seasons so I do have to admit that even though I am careful to enjoyGod’ s Creation and Weather, I can get used to the rain even annoyed. Like here in October where it has been rainy more than it has been the deep blue skies and yellow of ripe fields and leaves (grr). I kinda had enough! I dislike November because of the constant rain upon black and grey world…

Then I was jolted back by reading the delight of rain by a dweller of Melbourne, Australia where the treat of fire is reality as they go into summer. If I understand things correctly, Australia has been so dry for so long now that they are under continual water restriction!

arrogance and words ...

I had to share the following thoughts about being a writer by ‘Three Beautiful Things’ I do find this interesting to me. I don’t have the ‘arrogance’. Interesting too that she compares it to being like a man. I am that quiet girl who wonders if what I have to say it of any importance to anyone out there. This is my experiment and it has become a great therapy for the backflow of words to come rushing out of my system. I do have more sanity…

1. The special kind of arrogance required to be a writer. If I don't have it, I don't believe my work is worth reading and therefore I don't write anything. When it's in full flow words come out of my fingertips and know that what I am saying is fascinating and compelling. I imagine this is what being a man is like.

I do feel her thoughts. I used to keep all my words private. Now I only keep a few words private…

Psst! I do think the author of Three Beautiful Things is a great writer and proven inspiration! No arrogance found.

blue ball canning jars w/ zinc lids ...

A special keeps for me was a big box of blue ball canning jars with the old zinc lids from my grandma. I have spent the last couple nights washing the old dirt and grim from them using denture cleaner, baking soda, vinegar, and lemon juice.

My paintbrushes have new homes. It is a delight to see three small blue jars lined up, waiting, and ready to use. For the others I am making a mental list and then converting these jars into nice containers for a variety of things for each room. (For the linen closet I made one as my first aid jar.)

I am lover of glass so it is pretty exciting to bring 'old paths' into my living space. Some are kinda unique like the one that says 'Swayzee's improved mason'. Some have flaws (bubbles or scratches). Most have a number on the bottom. It is just plain fun to take in what my grandma's path was like and what she put in these amazing blue jars... and now they are little works of art for my place...